Petaluma Pitsniffer
Troubled Waters
We took a ferry to Elindo. We found an inn to stay in called, Sea Drake. We knew we had to book passage on a ship so we also went to a pace called, Scurvy Scoundrel. I tried to challenge that captain of The Ebunigbi to an arm wrestling match. If I won, she'd give us free or reduced fare. She didn't go for it but she did agree to take us. Her name's Captain Tafa Arendse. After making those arrangements, I did end up arm wrestling a Goliath. I won! It was a much easier match than the one against Teeth.
The next day I bought some water breathing potions for the group. They might come in handy. I also found a healing potion that's supposed to be supreme compared to the regular kind. I don't know if it really is, but I used the group funds to buy it, so I really don't give a shit.
A few days into the trip there was a real bad storm. We came through it OK but it pushed us far off course into waters the crew usually avoids. It didn't take long for us to see why they don't come here... We got attacked by a Dragon Turtle. We're probably fucked.
The Face-Off of a Lifetime
Teeth challenge me, so we had a face-off right there in the middle of a tavern. I had him, then he had me, then I had him again until he had me again. It went on and on like that. Neither of us held anything back. I had him, he had me, I had him... On and on. A crowd started to gather around us. He had me, I had him, he had me... The crowd started chanting. I had him, he had me. The crowd spilled out into the streets. The town was equally divided cheering us on. Eventually, I landed the final blow and got him down! The crowd went wild, and got us both drunk. It was the arm-wrestling match of a lifetime! I really like that guy.
My Betrayal of Nac'Kue
Well... I betrayed Nac'kue. I dumped Cypher's ashes in the acid of the baby terask. We couldn't let Asmodious get ahold of them though. No matter what. SO I dumped 'em. I tried to do it without the others seeing so I would be the only one responsible. I don't want them getting hurt when shit hits the wind.
We got attacked ny roppers, manticores, and more ropers. Then I found the book we were all looking for. During the night, Teeth tried to steal it, but Lanmin saw him and woke us all up. I started to fight him, but then called the silver dragon and told her we had her Teeth and her book. She appeared, copied the book, and told Teeth to be our friend.
I Hate This Place
So my people are being chased out of their homes. Literally. It would be funny but that means they're coming to the surface. I can't escape those damn assholes to save my life. I don't want them here, the towns don't want them here, and they don't want to be here. At least we're all in agreement. Apparently there's a monster... so I guess it's up to me and my friends to go take care of it, since everyone else is too sacred and lazy. Whatever. If it will get my people to leave, that's all the excuse I need. We fought off a bunch of Hook Horrors. Damn things. Then we ran into some Kobolds who pointed us in the direction of the beast. So I guess we'll kill that next. I hate being back in this place. Nothing but bad memories.
Dragon
So we found ourselves in a new city. There were lots of banners with silver dragons. There was a tower that looked like it was surrounded by clouds... but when Nackue flew to the top of the tower, he saw that the clouds were actually stone. Weird huh? Long story shorter, we teleported into a big building. The Aedilis was there. Big surprise... she turned u=into a silver dragon. We knew better than to try to kill her, so Nac'kue polymorphed the dragon into a tiger, and pulled the coller of of her. Then the Aedilis turned back into a dragon and crunched up the collar. She gave us a fire opal and a black opal as thanks.
After that we went to the tavern and told the people there what happened. While we were there Freyja told us she was a noble daughter of the head of the Imperial Summit. She has two brothers. She left her family as a little girl because she thought they were a bunch of ass hats.
We went shopping and I found a robe of useful items. Cool.
We heard a rumor that deep gnomes are fleeing to Cuniculum Genomae. I wonder what that's all about... It doesn't sound like my people. Maybe we'll look into it, but I don't know. I'm not well thought of among my people.
Later we went back to the tower to talk to that dragon leader lady. Her real name was Ghrydoros. She says we have her thanks and she gives us a ring that can contact her.
We fought weretigers. That was cool.
Smelling Ring
On our way out of the catacombs, Emalina wanted to see us. She gave us a pretty nice pay day.
On our way to the inn, we come across two horned devils and a god damned pit fiend. Fucking Ozzy. Zybnin ended up jumping in on the fight, which was a nice and much needed surprise. Another surprise from him was when he told us he had been the Emperatriz's spymaster all along. After the fight Zybnin told us we had to go with him to an important meeting with the Emperatrix herself, and it couldn't wait. Sure. Why not. It's not like we were dead on our feet tired or anything. We were pleased as fucking punch to take a damn meating that could of happened in the morning. Great. Damn entitled nobles.
Anyway, she thanks us for all we've done. Great. She also told us they had lost all contact form Akthuna, the capitol of the high elf kingdom, which is also where the litch queen is from. Apparently the government in Vvathaf has fallen due to the Sirens cutting off the trade routes. I assume she told us all this with the expectation that we'd go clean up those messes too. Typical. Her thank you was kicking us out of the city.
She did give us a letter that's supposed to do good shit for us. She also gave us some pretty treasures.
A gem of true seeing for Ozzy, a quarter staff called Dark staff for Freyja, An Ariel choker for Munin, a seed of lightning foe Nak'cue, a longbow+3 for Avery, a resurrection stone for Lanmin, and a Ring of Olifactory Prowess for me. It grants me special abilities when I smell things, which is pretty nifty, cuz smelling stuff is my favorite!
The Watcher, For Real This Time
We fought off two more Beholders, then we fell in a hole. Ouch. In the hole, we were greeted by five ghouls. They were pretty creepy, but we got rid of 'em just the same.
Freyja, Lanimin, and I went into a room that gave us horrible visions. We saw a goat head on a giant man. I gotta tell ya, I didn't like it.
We came upon another beholder hole. Its like a damn infestation. WE finally found the Watcher. We knew, because of the amulet on one of it's tentacles. Munnin cut that amulaet right off, while the thing still lived! Heart of a lion. Freyja did a really cool jump thing where I think she was going to try to ride the Beholder. It would have been bad ass... if she hadn't fallen on her ass. Badly. Still a baller move though. Respect. We all got good wallops on the thing, but I landed the killing blow, which felt really good. IT will be good to finally leave this place. I don't like being so close to home.
Anssathhanash the Yuan-Ti Amomination
Before we get back to Nak'Cue, we decide maybe some health potions would be a good idea. I buy four of the ones that claim to be greater than the originals. I'm not sure how Nak'Cue is doing on potions, so, after we un-statuefy him, I'm going to give one of them to him if he needs it. He does a lot to keep us all in one piece, so it seems like the thing to do. Munnin already has some, and Freyja also bought some, so I don't have to worry about them.
Munnin and I decide to go check in with Zybnin. We planned to go alone since we're the two he's dealt with in the past and he doesn't really like the smell of newcomers. Well, a few of the others dedide they know better than the ones who've actually met him, and insist on coming along. Hopefully we've earned enough good grace that this isn't going to bite us in the ass.
We have to meet with Demitrius first. After we tell him what's up, he takes us to Zybnin. We have to tell the whole damned story again. It's fine, it's not like one of our friends is a damn statue or anything, except for the fact that's exactly what's going on. Not that he's going anywhere I suppose... Zybnin is captivated by our story and I think he's starting to think of us as big damn heroes. He says his sources tell him the Pirate King has been captured so we don't need to bother looking into the Sirens after all, cuz that lead was a Red Hairy. Whatever that is. He also says he's secured the anti-scrying devices for us. Which is good due to the bitch Ozzy put on our tails.
After that, Munnin wants a drink. Sorry, Nak'Cue I just can't say no when she starts chirping and hopping all around. Kenku are just about one of the bast damn things about the surface. At least this one is. Guess I shouldn't make assumptions about all of 'em after meeting one. People who do that are damned douche-drawers. If I wanted to be like that, I may as well of stayed in the Underdark.
We finally head back to Nak'Cue so Lanmin can rub diamond dust on him and say weird words. Course she's about my size she she can only reach his thigh, but his knees sure do sparkle! About this time it occurs to me, we could of come and fixed Nak'Cue BEFORE we went into town... Well I just won't bring that up to him. He's a teddy bear but seeing how he could literally step on me, I don't want him angry at me. Better safe than... uh,,, not safe, that's what people say, right?
Once our big buddy is back to normal, we take the stairs that we assume lead to the bottom of the Beholder hole. We find a pouch. The contents look like the diamond dust Lanmin just used along with other stuff mixed in. I look at it, and realize it's pretty damn magical, so Ozzy inspects it to figure out what it can do, Turns out it's a dust that can greatly restore something.Guess we didn't really need that other diamond dust after all. 'Least now we have it for another time. I put it in the bag of holding for safe keeping.
We walk a bit and see a thing called a Gazer, which is a teeny tiny Beholderkin. It repeats everything we say. It's real irritating. Freyja says she wants to crush it, but it flies away when she heads toward it.
As we come to a pyramid it dawns on me we're in the Underdark. I get anxious cuz I'm not exactly welcome here anymore. I try to tell the others about it, but they're all too excited to listen, so I guess I'll have to take my chances. Munnin heads down the stair leading into the pyramid and gets hurt in her brain. Nak'Cue sees a statue and I guess he's still salty about his stint as a statue, so he wants to knock it over. Freyja and I help him with that, because friends should always help each other destroy shit. After we knock it down, the brain trap that zapped Munnin disappears.
We go into the damned place. Soon, we come to a hall. Munnin looks down it and says there are four Gazers and two Spectators guarding four pillars that seem to be forming a cage containing a Yuan-Ti Abomination. She psychically talks to it. She says her name is Anssathhanash. She also says The Watcher's real name is, Murxaghan, and she serves The Mistress, who's real name is Tur-shenfadth Lifidith, or, The Litch Queen Lifidith. The Watcher serves The Mistress because it reached for power, and power reached back. The Mistress wants to take over the world, and is currently far far away in the deep. (Great!) Anssy also tells Munnin this temple is a focus of the power of the snake gods. She says if we release her, she'll be on her way and not try to eat us. She's pretty sure we have to destroy all four pillars, and naturally fight the Gazers and the Spectators. I feel bad for her and worry she might be hungry, so Nak'Cue gives her an extra goodberry. It takes a while, but we finally defeat all the Beholderkin, and destroy a pillar. Apparently one was enough to let Anssy out, and true to her word, she went on her way. I still don't like the thought of being here, but we've got a job to do and I don't want to let the others down.
Sarcophagi, Statues, and Sisters
So, we're still making our way through the temple catacombs, looking for this Damn Watcher. Mostly there's a whole lotta nothing. Lots of sarcophagi, but that's to be expected. Some are shattered, but most of them are intact. Freaking Lanmin and Amy try to open some of them, but luckily are unsuccessful. Let the dead rest, I think. When you start fucking with dead things, they sometimes start fucking back. Wait... not like that... I mean... Aw fuck it. Anyway some of the rooms have funeral niches instead of sarcophagi. Munin manages to find a necklace in one of them. It'll look good on her. Or get her some gold, either way it made that little bird happy. I always like it when she gets excited. Her little bird eyes go wide, she does a little hop, and makes a happy chirp.
One of the sarcophagi we see is circled with salt and has the name, "Demitra Elizabet," or something like that. Anyway there's a rumor that she was a vampire so I was happy to see her resting place was still sealed. Last thing we need is a freaking vampire on top of Beholders.
We eventually come to a big room with a Beholder hole. The others have never seen one, but I knew right off the bat what it was. We decided to leave that one for later and explore more of the catacombs first.
Well that turned out to be an asinine idea. The next room we came to had two zombie beholders and a Death Tyrant. The Damn Death Tyrant did something to me that made me scared for my life. That didn't stop me from doing my best to take it down. At one point Munnin says in my head, "I'm not gonna leave Hugin again. I'm coming back." The little bitch Death Tyrant also turned Na'kue into stone! So here we are fighting these things and one of our friends is a statue! Eventually Amy/Avery takes down one zombie beholder. Freya, the frickin' bad ass takes out the other one. Freya and Lanmin both seem to land the killing blow on the Death Tyrant.
After the fight, Freya tells us she thinks she's noble. She ran away as a little tyke, so she can't remember anything about her family 'cept they were raising her to be an asshole dickwad. She didn't want that so she took off and never looked back. She said this city and the Mitropolitis seem familiar so maybe she's from around here. I hope she can find the answers she wants.
We decide to go to the surface to find some diamond dust to fix Na'kue. But before we can leave the guards stop us and go get the MItropolitis. She happened to have some diamond dust in her back pocket, so she just gives it to us right out.
On our way back, I pull Munnin aside and ask her about Hugin. Turns out it's her sister. Turns out they were living on the streets, then taken in as littles by a halfling gentleman. He taught them how to work a crowd and do seedy work. Apparently, one of the jobs got a little to sticky and the halfling made Munnin leave her sister behind so Hugin got caught and was arrested. Munin has felt awful ever since. I tell her I will help her find her sister if she wants. We can bail her out, or break her out. Doesn't much matter to me. I just want to help her in any way she needs. Also, this halfling is the one that named Munnin and Hugin. Before that, Munin used to go by the sound of a clanging sword. She's so cool.
The Watcher
So we discover there's a thing called The Watcher and these people want us to kill if for them. I don't know why their problem is our problem, but whatever. Apparently itcan be found in the deep, and it's a minion of something darker nd more powerful. They describe it as a giant eye, surrounded by eyes. I tell the others is sounds like a Beholder, which is bad fucking news for us. I warn or magicy boys that tey might need to find another way to fight this thing. When we find the thing, we find out it's not a Beholder but a Death Kiss. They aren't as bad s beholders, but still pretty deadly. The Death Kiss has long stalks that seem to have about a 20 foot reach each, and the stalks have sort of like hands on the ends. When the thing attacks, it seems to heal itself. Well Freya and I are doing our thing, dealing and taking lots of damage, trying to keep the others safe while they do their things. We're both getting pretty beat up, but that's OK, it's our job right? Plus we were doing a pretty good job of taking this thing out. Great right? Well then fucking Ozzy casts a spell that doesn't do anything to Kissyface, but it puts ME to sleep! Why he thought taking out his own team would be a good idea, I'll never know, but I guess it is kind of on brand for him. Apparently, someone managed to kill it while I was napping. Then they woke me up, AFTER all of the excitement. Oh well. At least the thing is dead I guess. I have a feeling I won't have to wait long to kick some ass on something else. Hopefully we won't all die.
The Smell of Things
Well, I've been traveling with some new people for a little while now. Strange group. Most of 'em smell OK though, so I'll stick with them for now. They look at me weird when I smell things, but how else am I going to know what to expect. Some of 'em assume it means I stink. Rude. Why would someone so in tune with scents and what they mean stink? Some people make no sense at all. What are ya gonna do? I really like this Moonin. She's a bird like creature that can't fly, only she CAN fly 'cuz of this fancy cape thing. She likes things that are shiny, and when she see something she likes, she takes it. Even if it's from a dragon. She's a hoot! She smells like copper. Then there's Nak'Cue. He's this sort of bovine looking fella. I think he said he's called a Furryblog. He's a real good guy. Always giving away his money to the poor. Of course Moonin usually follows behind and steals it back. She cracks me up. Anyway, Na'Cue smells like oak and animal. Not in a bad way. Then there's Ozzy. He's a real son of a bitch. Joined up about the same time as me, and promptly screwed us all over. He's real sorry though. I think he's gonna turn out to be a good egg. He keeps tryin' to get everyone to sign these funny parchments. Not me. Hell no. Dick me over once, you're the dick. Dick me over again, and I've got dick for brains. I'm not falling for it. Anyway, he smells of ink and parchment. Lanmin and Kavothe are brother and sister. She's a gnome, and he's a dwarf, so I don't really know how that math works, but whatever. I guess their family really like the gods cuz their both Clerics. They don' do much healing, but that's what they say they are. She smells like an apple. He smells like ale. He left for some reason. Said it was to go help his mom, but then he and his sister started fighting about if they even have a mom. Weird. Freya is kinda new. She's a real bad-ass, ass-kicker. One of the first things she did was start a huge bar fight with some pretty intense people. We almost died. It was hilarious. She smells like sweat and blood. Not obnoxious BO sweat, though. Now we've got a new guy. Avery, or Amy, or something. I don't really know what to think of him yet. He smells like pond water.
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