Aersday, 21st Shadow 212 EoL
Dear Diary,
I'm still here. I didn't have to go through with my plan. I had everything prepared. My back was packed. Goodbye notes to
Yelena,
Trip and
Drake were written. I was tense the whole day because I knew what may happen at the end of the day.
We waited so very long for the Preatur Primus to arrive. When he finally did, it was surreal. So many security measures were taken. That's how I always imagined my life would be when I was growing up. Needless to say, it remained a dream. Anyways... so he brought us some gifts to thank us for killing the dragon on
Vrinn Island. I got a cool new quiver :)
The Preatur was very interested in Yelena's family history. Which is probably no coincidence. Not sure if that will stand in our way in the future, we shall see. He was kind of pissed when Trip asked about the Emperess. Furthermore, he couldn't answer my questions about the deal the Imperium has with the
Gatekeepers, since the deal was made by the Emperess and not by him. So I'm still not sure how safe it will be for Trip and me to use portals to travel around the Imperium. He couldn't tell us if there is a possibility to find out where the portal
Gwenelle and
Shirel went through took them.
Mainly he came to ask us to work for him. The cult Gullitiklan was part of is much bigger than we thought. It is operating all across the empire. There are pirates involved as well as the Ambergard family. Which means that Drake's uncle is part of it. Without hesitating, Drake took the job. We didn't talk it through, we didn't wait for a life sign of the others. He just decided over all of our heads that this will be our promise. As far as I understood the deal, it is not only that one job, but the Preator Primus can now contact us whenever there is a problem he needs us to solve.
After this conversation, I was for a brief moment sure I had to go through with my plan and find out on my own where Gwen and Shirel were. I didn't want to tell the others about my plan, because I knew they would either try to stop me (then I would not have done everything I could to get them back) or they would want to come with me (which would have endangered them and would have been a death sentence for Trip). I was ready to give up my life for Gwen and Shirel when, all of a sudden, they walked into the Den accompanied by Lykos. I was never so happy in my life for somebody to enter a room. I jump up, ran over to them, and hugged them as tight as I could. They just saved my life, without knowing it. It felt like a heavy weight fell off my shoulders. I was so happy and relieved, my appetite immediately came back, and to be honest I can't even tell you what they were telling us.
Here are the few things I remember: they were somewhere with the creature we were about to fight when they disappeared. Andy was with them. Apparently, he's a giant, not only a dagger. Then there was some guy on a cart, with chains and bodies. And there was another giant, that wrote a weird book Trip told me about. They had to fight the creature, which they did successfully. Afterward, when they asked the giant where they were and how they could get out, he was not a big help. On the other hand, Andy seemed to know how to get back. The only problem was Andy, well the Dagger, was buried deep in the water, so once they teleported back, they were underwater and nearly drowned. This is why they came back soaking.
While Trip accompanied them into the shower to hear everything about that weird giant and Yelena kept drinking coffee (I'm afraid she got addicted to that stuff, might be a coping mechanism to get over Shirel's disappearance and in that case, I think she should be able to get over it soon), Drake and I had a very brief but intense fight. I was so very angry at him for taking the job. A few days ago we wanted to leave this life behind us, once we had killed Gulli, go back to Sedem Lux and create a family. Now... well now it seems that for the rest of my life I will be on the edge because anytime the Preator might call me up. This is no life to have children. All of our plans were thrown overboard in a second. I don't recognize him anymore, Andy is clearly dominating his mind but he never talks about it to me. He keeps his problems from me. We were both keeping secrets. We were both hurting and hurting each other. What kind of a relationship is this? Trust was lost on my side and so I asked him for a break. So... now... we are on a break. We didn't break up, I just need to evaluate my feelings.
Afterward Lykos and Trip got into an argument and Lykos banned Trip from the Wolves Den. I went to get our stuff and we left. I'm not a wolve either and frankly, I didn't want to stay near Drake. This chain of unfortunate events led to something wonderful. Trip and I had a great evening. We drank and got tipsy as servants kept bringing us our favorite liqueur, the one we always stole from father's "secret" stack. We talked and talked. We swore to each other to have our backs again and to not keep secrets from each other anymore. This is why I told him about what I was about to do and showed him the goodbye note I had written to him. He told me that he was impressed by how far I would have gone to save the lives of others. He said that I have grown, that I'm not his naive little sister anymore, and that he's proud of what I've built myself in the last year. I'm so proud of his words, so happy that we found each other again. I got my big brother back. We then fell asleep next to each other, just like old times, just like when we were kids. I feel safe again and confident.
Lumday, 22nd Shadow 212 EoL
So now I'm sitting here waiting for Trip to get up, I still need to tell him that Drake told me yesterday, during our fight, that Andy apparently stole a part of Trip's soul. We don't know exactly what that means for Trip. I need to keep an eye on him.
I'm writing to you because I need to make up my mind. I'm not sure how to handle the situation with Drake. I now realized that he probably took the job because it is a way to get back to his uncle. To reestablish the family name. Maybe he wants to take his place back or avenge his father, but I don't think that that is his main motivation. I guess I need to apologize to him for not realizing that. I still have feelings for him, I do. I'm not sure though if they are strong enough to stay with him, the new him, the disturbed him that keeps secrets from me (not that I am any better). I do want to help him on this personal mission, but I don't want to go any further. This is not the life for me anymore. If he changed his mind on settling down, I guess it's over. For now, I'll just see what the next days will bring.
Oh, there comes my brother, I'll leave you and might get back to you in the evening.
Love, BB <3
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