Stick Picker-upper
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to pick up sticks before 11:00?
No. Despite common misconceptions, sticks may be picked up at all hours. In fact, due to eruptions and sublimation on the The Far Side of Chellok creating a thin ring of frozen gasses along with Sekora's many moons, both Humans and Sugrans find that there is often enough reflected light during Chellokan nights to locate and pick up sticks without the aid of low-light or night vision goggles or other augmented reality visual supports or implants.
That being said, some of the "most-picked" picker uppers were sticklers for picking the early morning hours as the most productive for picking up the choicest sticks.
What is the policy for employees with facial hair? (Applies to Humans only.)
A clean shaven appearance is preferred. Beards, moustaches, and sideburns are allowed, but longer facial hair runs the risk of coming into direct contact with picked-up sticks, which are often home to parasitic lifeforms.
A human family enjoying the bounties of sticks.
At what age can you start an apprenticeship?
Our apprenticeship program is open to all current employees and even to those who don't currently pick up sticks. If you have the ability to pick up sticks, either through your own musculature (for organic-based lifeforms), the translation of your brain's neuro-chemical signals into a mechanized body's reaction (for organic-cybernetic hybrid lifeforms), or just the primitive programming of a robotic body (for machines), then we have good news: YOU CAN BECOME A STICK PICKER-UPPER APPRENTICE!
What should I wear to work?
One of the benefits of picking up sticks is that you don't have to worry about what to wear to work. No shoes? No problem. That's right: NO DRESS CODE. Picker-uppers picking up sticks in extreme environments may be asked to wear warm or other protective clothing.
"A forest is a long detour after which you might finally arrive at maybe five or six really good sticks." — Sikram Kusum, stick picker-upper.
Career
Qualifications
Generally stick picker-uppers earn their positions based on qualities NOT qualifications; anybody with the right attitude and commitment to picking up the best sticks is welcome to elevate sticks from a lower position towards some undetermined greater height.
Career Progression
Equality is at the forefront of our mission. In our eyes, all picker-uppers are the same, even if each stick is different. Some picker-uppers challenge each other to "picks," wherein they attempt to pick up as many sticks as possible within a set time. These are just for fun, however. There's no need to worry about progression. Simply by picking up your first stick you enter the same ranks as the great all-time picker-uppers.
Payment & Reimbursement
This is just one more of the great benefits of picking up sticks: the payment is STICKS. You get paid instantly and as many times as you want. When you're a stick picker-upper, money literally grows on trees.
Other Benefits
Aside from being able to choose your own hours and being your own boss? We think it goes without saying, but... it's the sticks.
Sticks that have been picked up
Alternative Names
picker, upper, grabber, selector, re-elevator, de-aborealized cylinder contra-gravity positive altitude mobilizer, unclaimed sticks elevation adjuster
Type
Raw Materials Gathering
This? I adore this article. Thank you for writing something so delightful! :D
Haha, thanks for the kind comment. The idea spawned from an off-handed comment about what type of heroic character NOT to create when getting ready for our current campaign, and somehow the joke hasn't died...