This room is the most comfortable place I have ever been to the point it feels too decadent, too much to really take on without it somehow being wrong. The simple lodgings I have had up until this point - either at the monastery or at New Cyre - seem to pale in comparison. It did give me a good time to attune to the Wand of Great Mercies which is good. It will be of great use on the road and at the clinic. I am not sure when I will return to the clinic, if I am honest as I am loathe to leave the group I have. I am sure they would be fine without me. Warden can heal and they can all fight brilliantly. Still, I like being around them. Sometimes - as ridiculous as it is - I feel alone at New Cyre. I would feel very differently if we all managed to make it to New Cyre. But...dwelling on things I cannot change helps no one. I didn't come all this way to feel sorry for myself. I am here to help and I need to keep focus on that. We were invited to dine with the King (I had some seared spider, quite nice) which I would guess is a big deal since not a lot of people were there. The closest thing we had to a king was the Abbot and well...everyone ate with the Abbot. There was one room to eat in.
The King is a difficult person. He is affable, pleasant and is likely a good ruler but seems to be rather ignorant - as many people are - of the threat of Riedrans and the Dreaming Dark. It is one thing to apply the metaphysical nature of good and evil to people who can change but to apply this to Quori? To Dal Quor? I know the stories of my ancestors, of Taratai and the sixty six who left Dal Quor to escape persecution and forged with the humans to become kalashtar. In my dreams, I see my ancestor's Shana's memories. I see Dal Quor, I see il-Lashtavar and their follows do terrible things, I see a place I know well but have never stepped foot in; longing to return to a place I have never been to. Perhaps I shouldn't judge them too harshly in their ignorance as Riedra seems to be regarded with a bland pleasantness. They apparently carry out charitable goods here which must to be to particularly unpleasant ends - likely to make them think they are good when they are not. Using charity and kindness as a cloak for darkness is the most appalling lie I can conceive of. When I trained, I thought it would be attacks on the monastery, an invasion. But this, making us seem either absent entirely or useless, to make us seem like the liars from straight out the gate against the so-called noble acts. It pains me and in turn, proves to perhaps be the point. Is that what they want? A response? What sort of response will change minds? Anger makes us look too emotional. Being calm would likely make us look like liars. It's a trap. Perhaps the best thing would be to ignore it and show exactly the true goodness that can arise from Adar; from the kalashtar.
Dax was surprisingly very much on my side. I hadn't known much about Dax up until this point but it seems her people are dealing with something rather similar, if a different type of threat. I am not sure what Masvirik is exactly but if it is evil then it makes absolute sense that her people would be fighting it, to stop it from emerging. She mentioned she had been exiled because her people think she is evil which is rather bizarre. She doesn't come across as evil and is ardently attempting to do as much good as she can. If she needs assistance in this, I think I will lend a hand. I might not be a lizardfolk but evil is evil. It needs vanquished, regardless of the source.
Warden spoke more of the Daelkyr and the other Gatekeepers of seals. He also relates deeply to the story Dax advised and believes that this may be related or similar in a way. The number of sources of evil in this place astound me and concerns me if even one start to raise its head. The fact that the birds are being seen again is disquieting. I am sure its not their fault - poor things - but they are certainly tied together...somehow. If these aberrations mean that these seals are becoming undone. Uncomfortable indeed. Perhaps if the people of this world stop fighting over crowns and other such daft things, it would get on better.
Terfel kept quiet about his war stories, perhaps in part to the fact that he was fighting directly against the King. I know that it must be difficult, especially since later discussions with the Prince hinted at a level of...blame for the other royals who perished. It struck me that I had never really seen the Prince as a tragic figure before. A bit too talky but otherwise fairly nice but never tragic. I had never really thought that his family must have died in this war, perhaps in the Mourning itself. I am not sure what the people here believe in terms of the afterlife but I sincerely hope that it goes well for them.
Terfel also surprised us by summoning some sort of ghostly puppet of himself at breakfast. That was...very unexpected but I assume since it can swing about its weapons that it can fight as well. He also seems to be able to switch places with it which is hard to get my head around, if I am honest but if he uses this ability more, I will get used to it.
We once again are headed for the lightning rail but are headed to Sharn. I remember myself and Warden briefly passed through on route to New Cyre and its artificial brightness and abundance of people and lack of the ability to see the sky is...I am ambivalent on the matter. It is important to attend, of course, but huge chunks of places that are outdoors but you cannot see the sky is unpleasant. The sky is always there. Bright or dark, ribboned with colours in the dawn to murky rain clouds. To not see it when outdoors is...strange and I am glad that I do not need to get used to that as a concept.
I think I will need to spend more time in meditation when I have the chance. Being on the road ill affords time to do so and I am getting too...easily pulled into emotions. I know it is part of my human heritage but when you spend your life surrounded by people who are mostly calm to be thrown into somewhere where people can be calm...or joyous or miserable or whatever and it is seen as normal instead of something to be challenged as it clouds the judgement...I would suppose it leads to that. Some meditation is required, I think.