I will be brief as it is getting very late and we will likely have much to do in the morning and if I am truly honest, I would rather see this day end rather than have to stretch it out even further. My faith has not been shattered but my ego has certainly taken a bit of a brusing. As well as my body. I took on a couple of painful injuries whilst we captured K'zzal, much of which could have been avoided if I had acted like Warden, staying out of the way and causing damage from afar and only getting close when absolutely necessary. However, I did not do this and got quite injured for my hubris. I suppose it is less hubris and more...sensibilty. I have been trained how to fight and how to keep calm in such frantic situations and yet, in the midst of battle, I lose myself in its own logic. Determination to fell the enemy takes precedence over all other things, regardless of the cost to the self.
Still, it is damn well painful.
Dax did ask why I fought like that when we made the climb up with him, after the fight. I tried to explain this viewpoint but no one could really grasp why I was like that. Terfel and Warden, both who have been soldiers in their time, emphasise that using tactics in the heat of the battle is important but so is self-preservation. I am not of use dead. Indeed, given there are so few kalashtar in the world compared to Riedrans and Inspired, it was a childish attitude to take. It is something to work on and I can only thank my compatriots for their assistance in such matters.
I would think on this further but I am exhausted - it has been a long day and sleep is very appealing right now.