So The Goddamn World Is Ending

Hey journal. Today I almost got to kill Volsaid. Fuckin bitch took it to me, though, almost put me out. That's on me, gotta get better at fightin' close.
 
Let's back the fuck up. It's been a minute since I wrote; not too much time when we was explorin' the Elderlands and discoverin' another goddamn civilization. There's some crazy fuckers living on the other side of the mountains, as it turns out. Didn' get to see the city, fuckin' mist turns you into a plant unless you suck some bitch's dick or somethin'. Which, y'know, not opposed, strictly speakin'...
 
We learned most o' this from this technicolor wearin' fuck, Xirt. Decent enough guy, I guess. Good in a fight. Has a couple of partners. Polyamory is a thing over there, I guess. Good for them. Monogamy's for dickheads, no offense to Keph.
 
What the fuck was I talking about? Shit, right. We came back and headed out again to go talk to the puddlejumpers. They got a pretty sweet place under Mt. Temeros, lava tunnels and shit. Fucked up some elementals, saved the Princess, came home. Turns out Volsaid was outside, layin' claim to their territory. She challenged Crestin to a fight, which if I'da gotten a say I woulda told him not to do that, but big boy's real proud. Got nothin' on a pally, unfortunately. Never run with a paladin, but apparently the gods just get to jizz through their swords or whatever. Fuckin' bullshit, honestly. Not great at range, but they can get round that easy enough. Took her about 20 seconds to floor our friend. We threw down with her team, an' honestly, probably coulda gone either way, except we got interrupted.
 
I'm not a real smart bitch. Spirits what urped outta that turtle said a lotta fancy words that basically amounted to, "So the goddamn world is ending." Those little fuckin' spots we kept finding in the Elderlands have some kinda power in em, sposed to keep the upcoming catastrophe from totally fuckin our shit up. Honestly, most of this is beyond me. I'm just a bitch with a gun. And a rock that's gonna help me save the world, or something.
 
Fuck, man, just ask Keph about this, I'm sure he's been thinkin' about it nonstop. I need a fuckin' lay.
 
Oh, yeah, finally got some one on one time with Xan. That's another journal page. Now fuck off, I need a drink.