What do I do?

NOT IN MY FUCKING PHONE
So there's two paths ahead for me to go.
 
1) I slowly regrow a new heart, not worrying about my old one.
 
2) I find my heartless, and Kaen's nobody, and kill both of them, which will release my heart and restore me.
 
From what I know, as I already have all my old memories (thanks to Namine), technically there isn't a need for me to get my heart back. I'll double check that with Namine or Roxas. But, even if that is true, something about all this just doesn't sit right with me.
 
This boy stole 4 years of my life away from me. I abandoned my brother because of him. It's likely that he's the reason why my home was destroyed and why my dad died. This kid screwed with my life, with no regard for my say in all this, and for WHAT? What does he need my heart for?! I know it's all coincidence... but why did it have to be ME? Why couldn't it have been someone else... no. I shouldn't say that.
 
It's just... every bone in my body is screaming at me to kill him, to take back what's mine. My little brother's voice is especially haunting in my head right now, to get back at whoever killed our dad. Seeing him with my hair and eye color sickens me to my core, but... it also gives me a strange empathy for him. Namine also told me that if I do kill him, I'll be taking in all his memories and emotions too, as he's been using my heart all this time. I'll be overcome with all the emotions he's gone through. All his hopes, his dreams. It'll be a lot to handle.
 
In fact, the more I think about it, Kaen's nobody is EXPECTING me to try to kill him, to take it back. That's why he's talking with Maleficent to capture me, possibly even kill me before I can kill him.
He's... scared. All he wants to do is find his parents, just like Kaen. Whoever can help him with that, will be in his company, even if it's this so called "Boy in White" rumored to be behind the attack on Midgar. While I don't approve of his actions against me in ANY way... I understand where they're coming from. Hell, if I was desperate enough, I'd probably do something similar if it was a plausible route.
 
Namine and Roxas want me to keep this a secret from Kaen right now, so that he doesn't have to think about a Nobody that's out there trying to find his parents, replace him with his real family, while he's still here. He'd be bound to run off, regardless of the threat of expulsion. So right now, this is riding on me, and those I trust. It's funny, even though Namine and Roxas are here for me... I feel more alone than ever in this fight.
 
I... I need to find a way to talk with Kaen's nobody. If not in person, through mind and memory. Roxas mentioned that I should keep a close eye on my memories, pointing out that I could be subconsciously experiencing his memories, and vice versa for him. I want to show him that I'm not a threat to him yet, and just ask questions, try to understand. I need to know why he needs my heart, or why he'd need me "transacted" to him (if I'm missing something). Maybe... I can help him, find a way to help both Kaen's nobody AND Kaen in this endeavor... or there may be more to it that I'm not aware of. After I hear him out, I'll decide whether to be angry or not.
 
I need to get stronger, learn more, and make sure I can protect myself and fight, to prepare for the day I meet Kaen's nobody face to face, or seek him out. I don't want to have to drag anyone into this that doesn't need to be. Maybe I can find someone to teach me more combat techniques or advanced offensive magic, or better ways to defend myself couldn't hurt either.