Thirtieth Entry

First time out of Berdusk in a long time. Saying good-bye to mother and father was difficult. Selmoor just said ‘see you later’ and went off down the pub. Like it was nothing at all. When I left it threatened rain but cleared up nicely. The sun ...

Stopped off at another inn further on the trail. I feel scared to go into the forest alone, ended up hesitating for ages. I wish Velo was here....

I think I’ve found it. Staying overnight in a ramshackled place in the sticks. Tomorrow morning I go there first thing. Get to the root of why I’m this way. Can I even undo it?...

If someone finds this diary my name is Lilia Mordorsk. I don’t know what I did in that temple but before I could figure it out I was captured and have been taken by my will and held in this place. If you find this, tell my family in Berdusk that I...

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die....

e̵̖̽̉ṡ̷̺̱̻̣̪̿c̵͈̺͒̓̕à̵̡͎͙̠̜̮̉̈́̉́̚p̵̠̭͕̐̿̎͜ȩ̸̲̥̄͗̂̚͠...

How long has it been? Months maybe. Temperance, the cook here at Deygoth Manor, took pity on me and hired me. Not long after the Manor’s son came home. He seems like the softest of the lot. And here I thought the youngest always ended up the mo...

Tyre’s going out. He mentioned something about the convicts, I’m pretty certain two of their numbers are those men that saved me. I spotted them being carted away from that… place. Slaver’s Pit. I’ll pursue them from a distance. Fob Temper...

Such power. I looked in its eyes and watched its head explode at my will. Should I feel guilt for violence? I can justify it away with notions of: “they were attacking innocent children” But if that’s the case then why did it give me suc...

I have the brazier and charcoal. Now I just need incense and herbs. I can imagine it. Little thing trotting around in my mind. Would it have eyes like mine. My eyes were red from birth. Like blood. --- I want these children to be safe. I was supp...

Look at this rich, little boy on the floor. Drunk as a skunk. How did Tyre ever survive on his own. Same could be said of Evan half the time....

I’d forgotten how often people eat. Watching it seems so alien to me. All I can think is how tiring it must be to get energy out of a little bread roll. Who puts a bread roll on a stick? It’s like a baby’s rattle, it’s sort of adorable. S...

What was that dream. Was it even a dream, or a vision? Brought on by Kavick's blood or by "praying" (if one can even call it that...) at the altar. I'm exhausted and I've only just got up. Apparently we're "going on patrol" today. Bit nervo...

I was a little sad to leave behind Lil' and Dande, Dande in particular. Such a sweet little boy. I'm glad we were able to help him. Well, I say we. I was less involved with helping him than everyone else with their martial skills. Getting a letter f...

Back at this place. Walking into the basement made bile claw up my throat. Erafel (I hope I've spelt her name right) seemed very sincere. She took away from the ugliness of my memories. Nice to hear things kept in the dark aren't seen as 'monster...

I had a feeling I'd be able to do it, and with the incence Tyre gave me (where does he find things, honestly), I managed it! I will call him Philip! He's a mute, sweet little creature with horns not so unlike mine and an appetite to match it. Hm, wr...

Another dream (vision?). These don't feel benevolent. They're frightening. None of them are 'mine', the thought of owning a creature makes me feel sick. Those fingers in my shoulders make me feel small. Like I can't do anything. Maybe they'll ...

The Lanngolyn Estate makes me uncomfortable. Not for its finery or even its inhabitants. There's something about being there that sets my teeth on edge. When that Zone of Truth was cast there was no way I was going to step into it. Not a chance. ...

I think I met another… person like me today. Her name is Farangis. She was so poise and collected. I felt myself stammering in front of her like a child. Moron. Who would’ve thought that in this condition I would still be so affected by my...

I.. wish the Gods believed in me. I’m so frightened. Do I deserve to die? Was this curse just an extension of my own death. I don’t want to go to sleep tomorrow evening. I don’t want new bite marks on my neck to hide. I wish I could disa...

The very moment I start trusting people they so impeccably remind me why life is nothing more than a set of scales. An offer of sustenance from a butcher is only met moments later with a wild goosechase lie. The person I’m truly angry with is myse...

I suppose I ought to talk about the demonic creature that appeared to attack Jade and the rest of us, or about how bitterly disappointed in his near pathological lying, but strangely enough I’m much more fascinated with the graves’ keeper. The Bone...

I’ve met a dragon! A real, breathing, living dragon! Deep Green of Shadowed Heart is her name and she reminds me of one of those finely bread cats. Delicately trotting around with all the grace of a feline at least. We fought some monstrous fis...

Tyre… I wish there was something I could do for you. Sweet, outgoing, gentle man you were given an impossible choice and you took it with grace and fortitude. I wish I could do something for you......

I’ve not written in here for days. Silly really but I just didn’t have the courage to write extensively in front of Kavick. However! I now have my own little room I can scribble away in peace. I don’t feel anywhere near as frightened here. It see...

Why didn’t he take Jade instead. Why didn’t he take someone USEFUL. How could I have let him down like this, when he’s helped me so many times. What GOOD are these abilities if I don’t use them at the right moment! All my bravado and scar...

Green Holt is pleasant enough, the days have become balmy and the evenings cool. I’ve learnt a lot over the past few days, but as useful as it all seems it feels like I learn more about the people that impart the information than the information itse...

Roses. What was I thinking? Sentimental, pitiful thing that I am. What an infant… And to have once thought that whatever deal I’ve struck might have had gravity or purpose to it. I’m just a moving, breathing skin blood to some far off vampi...

Monstrous. How could I give in like that… Jade. I’m so sorry. I should’ve learnt my lesson… I don’t know what to do. I’m so frightened. What if Tyre and Kavick hadn’t been there. I would’ve killed him. My intatible, remor...

Mother… do you miss your little girl, do you think about her at all. What would you do if you saw her now, if you’d seen everything she’d done to get to this point. I’m so tired. It feels like a part of me has died. Like… something important ...