Thirtieth Entry by Lilia | World Anvil

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Tue 29th Dec 2020 09:18

Thirtieth Entry

by Miss Lilia Mordorsk

Mother… do you miss your little girl, do you think about her at all. What would you do if you saw her now, if you’d seen everything she’d done to get to this point.
 
I’m so tired. It feels like a part of me has died. Like… something important has shriveled up inside of me. And it sits there, like a withering fruit. Every time I close my eyes, it shrinks a little more. All the seeds in it are blackened, rotting away.
 
I was led around like a beast.
 
And I couldn’t resist… Stupid, frail, useless thing. My body was no longer my own.
 
My hands are still shaking. The things I did, the thing I almost did.
 
I don’t have enough tears.
 
Philip, Erafel, Jade, Tyre and Kavick.
 
Why didn’t he strike true. Rid the world of me.
 
Now I am nothing more than a burden. I know my skills have left me and I’m weaker than before… They’d be better off without me.
 
Why did he give me this weapon… I’m no champion. Is it out of pity, perhaps.
 
I’ll have to return it to him… then what. Go back to Berdusk maybe.
 
I’ve no purpose and whatever heritage I have… nobody cares to share it with me. Perhaps for the best, if it’s as damaged as the rest of me, perhaps it’s better for the world if it dies with me.
 
So tired… but I’m terrified to sleep. I don’t want sleep to take me.
 
Someone take me away from this…
 
Please