Session 130

General Summary

• The party spent some time at their house discussing what had happened over the past day or so, and planning their next moves.
• They went to the House of Crystal and delivered their report to Annu.
• Annu disapproves of their decision to let Theran tag along, but he ultimately allowed Theran to hear the classified information as long as he doesn't compromise the party's objectives.
• During Dazki's report, he omitted any mention of Baxton's posthumous involvement, leaving Annu less-than-satisfied with their explanation of why Grogery did what he did at the end of that final battle with Pendel.
• After the report was over, Annu made another "joke" that was much shorter ("I've lost my mind, can I have yours?"), and then he suddenly snapped into a completely different mood, speaking rapidly and more freely than usual. He cryptically claimed that he has deduced the location of his body and soul, but not his mind, believing this to mean that "they" have lost it. He also stated that his "current state of servitude is voluntary, as per an agreement".
• The next stop was the Cathedral of Light, to discuss with Isaiah Loprair what can be done about bringing Grogery back.
• Isaiah stated that, though he was initially hesitant to play this card, he was able to use his relationship with members of the government to get permission to use the necromantic spell necessary to bring Grogery back, should all the spell's other conditions be met.
• In preparation for this, however, he could not find Grogery's soul. Dazki worries that it was scooped up by Mirage Prime as collateral damage.
• Isaiah said he won't get involved with Turmoil "again", but he implored the party to get to the bottom of this for him. He agreed to lead a remembrance for Grogery at sunrise the following morning.
• They intended to visit Morn'Tharur in The Spire of Beasts next, but they ran into The Queen of Hearts and Ten of Hearts on the way.
• Dazki negotiated with Queen the terms for delivering her Dennis Donahue's head as proof of his death. She didn't seem to have a problem with the idea of settling their debt to her, but she was offended by his idea to use this as leverage with Jack to keep Li'l Joker from getting mixed up in the family business.
• Queen's counteroffer was to agree to keep Jack from learning of Dennis's death for a while, which she will be able to spin into getting a "longer leash" for herself. Dazki added the condition that she treat the party as "friends" / "allies" — no more of her power plays of "debt", "blackmail", etc. She agreed, in her own way.

Full Recap

Marvin: That sounds bad! ...at least, based on your reaction, that is...   Dazki: Yeah, probably. He basically said "hey, news of your fuck-ups has reached me, I'm going to get you out of the problems that you got yourself into, because I don't trust you. Oh, and I might have business stuff to do, because at least you're getting our name out there".   Marvin: "Fuck-ups"?! We didn't fuck up anything!   Dazki: I mean... all of us (except for you) were sort-of guilty of a lot of "terrorism"...   Marvin: Oh. Yeah, that. But, the pardon? Does that not count for anything? Does he not care about that?   Dazki: I mean... yeah, but there's still blowback that would look bad on his name, so he has to come and fix it.   Marvin: Well, um... so we have a lot of cleanup to... how long do we have?   Dazki: Three days, but actually, you know what? Fuck it. Let him. We have more important stuff to do. We'll do what we can, but we have other priorities right now, right?   Marvin: Yeah! Fuck yeah! I'm all about that "zero-accountability" lifestyle!   Dazki: It's not "zero-accountability", it's just "I have other things that are more important than you. I'm an adult now, so fuck you and your expectations".   Marvin: Yeah, let's stick it to 'im! ...so, we're not cleaning up the place?   Dazki: I mean, we're still behaving like we have guests, and we're still being reasonable adults about it, but we have other priorities that have to come first. Like seeing what we can do about Grogery and reporting to Annu, and there's a discussion that I think we need to have as a group based on what happened with Pendel. So, we have other things that matter more than my dad coming and being... himself.   Marvin: Right. OK. So...   Dazki: Speaking of which, how are you holding up?   Marvin: I've definitely been better. I need to have a... talk... with Dwardazik, though I do not blame him.   Dazki: Well, you're a better man than me.   Marvin: Pendel killed her.   Dazki: I mean, yes, you're not wrong there. But, yeah. All right. My temporary panic aside, we should go and let everyone know, and figure out what our plans actually are.   Marvin: Oh yeah, I'm sure everyone else will just love this news about house guests.   Kesmet, approaching with a rock from the fireplace: Hey, guys. Ihavea rock.   Dazki: That's great. Um, tell you what, why don't we go back to the dining hall. A couple more things we need to talk about, then we need to go see Annu.   Marvin: Yeah, we haven't really been checking in with him...   Dazki: Couldn't really communicate through The Wall™ very well. He got a hold of me as soon as we got back.   Marvin: ...of course he did. Wait, he knew?   Dazki: Yeah, he's probably tracking the spike on our Bag of Holding, remember?   Marvin: Clever bastard.   Dazki: So I told him to give us a few hours we needed to recuperate a little bit. We've got a little time, but we should head to the House of Crystal as soon as we can.   Marvin: He's not really a "person" who should be kept waiting, based on what I have gathered. But I also agree, we need a minute — or several.   Dazki: Like you said, "zero-accountability" lifestyle.   Marvin: Hell yeah!   They head back to the dining room with the others.   Dwardazik: Ah, did you find 'im?   Marvin: Oh boy, did I! He's in one of those fervors.   Theran: Does he do that often?   Marvin: Yes.   Dazki: ...thanks, I appreciate it. I had a moment of temporary panic.   Dwardazik: Oh. What now, huh?   Dazki: We're going to have house guests. (He puts the letter on the table.) My father is coming to get me out of whatever "problems" I have gotten myself into, because he has heard rumors of what we have been up to, way up north, and thinks I am incapable of taking care of myself.   Theran: He's coming up here in person?! Not just sending someone to spy on you, or a trusted advisor, or anything?   Dazki: Nope. He's coming here in person.   Theran: Wow, he seems to be taking this pretty seriously!   Dwardazik: What's the problem? Who's your father, and what is he, anyway?   Marvin: Do you not remember the —   Dazki: My father's a viscount.   Dwardazik: But, I mean, it's not like this is some kind of formal business affair? If he's just visiting, then... that's just that, right?   Dazki: With my dad, everything is a formal business affair.   Dwardazik: ...ugh.   Theran: So, quick question about this. You recognized me by name. I'm presuming your father would as well?   Dazki: Possibly. He would certainly know your name, though I don't know if he's ever seen you. We knew you by name because of Grogery. But you are definitely well-known enough that he'll know your name.   Theran: I don't think it needs much saying that if my parents knew I was over here, uh... it would make your dad's visit look like a nice calm afternoon tea among the roses.   Dazki: That's fair... I was thinking if we could figure out a way to return Grogery, he might be a good way for you to get home, should that be what you desire.   Theran: I mean, I'm still... I still don't know if I should even be going home.   Dazki: OK. It's your choice to make. I don't want to force anything on you. I just wanted to mention that if we can bring Grogery back before then, and if you should decide to return, I'm sure he would be able to assist.   Theran: Yeah...   Dazki: But, beyond that, we've gotta go deal with Annu, and I think we also need to talk about what happened with Pendel, and some choices that everybody made.   Dwardazik, head still face down on the table: I ain't gonna be movin'...   Marvin: Can't keep a lich waiting.   Dazki: Archlich.   Theran: ...you guys know an archlich?   Marvin: Yep! That's the kind of people you're rolling with at the moment!   Kesmet: He... he-um, he doesn't like jokes.   Marvin: He's got a few.   Kesmet: Er... forks. He doesn't like forks, because he doesn't eat.   Marvin: He does not eat. That is correct.   Dazki: I was hoping to talk with Pendel about him. They were both alive and active in the government during the same period. Pendel probably would've known some stuff.   Theran: I mean, how long ago was it?   Dazki: 90 years, give or take.   Theran: There's a lot of elves that were around for that.   Dazki: Yeah, but the two of them would've worked together during that time, I believe. So, he might know a little bit know about the archlich who has had a lot of his history actively obfuscated.   Dwardazik: So, what are we gonna do to prepare for your father? Or should we just prepare for Annu.   Dazki: Clean the place up and deal with things as we normally would. I think we should get to the House of Crystal for Annu, after we talk about what happened with Pendel, be it all of our pasts or the decisions that were made when we were fighting him.   Dwardazik: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Let's get this over with, then. Well, lass, do you need any money to hire some servants or something to help clean up this place and get it sorted?   Rosalin: Um... see, I already have the funds for that, um... I just haven't really... found anybody that's... um... up to your snuff! That's it.   Theran: I have some magic that should be able to help?   Rosalin: But I'm... I'm willing to work through the night, if it's important?   Dazki: If you're working through the night, then we're all working through the night. You live here too, you're a member of this household, we're not going to make you do everything.   Rosalin: Yeah, but I was supposed to hire more people, so it's my responsibility.   Dazki: We'll talk about it in the morning, then, and we won't worry about it until then.   Rosalin: Um, OK. OK, sure.   Dwardazik: We're gonna need servants and whatnot who are actually trustworthy.   Rosalin: OK, I know! You don't have to keep bringing it up!   Dazki: You've got this, Rosalin. We trust you, we have faith in you, it's all good. OK? No worries.   Rosalin: ...OK. Sure.   Dazki: Hey, you found Jersey, and he's a good guy! So far, you have a 100% track record.   Rosalin: It's not like I haven't been trying, it's just none of 'em are... right, you know?   Dazki: I trust your judgment. If you say none of 'em are right, then none of 'em are right. Do you think you might be able to get references from a certain relative of yours?   Rosalin: I don't... this, like... it's not really her problem, so... I think... you know, I can do it! I think I just need more time.   Dazki: Is everything OK?   Rosalin: ... ... ...yeah! I mean, you know, everything's great!

Dazki: All right, well, let's not worry about it for the rest of the day, at least. We can talk about things in the morning. We've all had a really long past couple of days, and although we trust your decisions, I think our decisions might be a bit flawed at the moment. Let's not worry about it right now. Is that OK with you?   Rosalin: You're the lords of the house. So, if that's what you think.   Dazki: Sure.   Dwardazik, banging his fist on the table (startling Rosalin): Let's just get this over with. Marvin, you wanted to say somethin'?   Marvin, standing up quickly: Oh, so you know what I wanted to bring up, Dwardazik? I was going to wait until we could talk in private, but apparently, he just wants to get everything out on the table, now, don't you?   Dwardazik: It's been a long day, and I don't want to drag this out longer than it needs to be. If you want to go out back and we talk about this, that's fine.   Marvin: Pendel killed our friends, OK? I will never think otherwise. But we are trying to protect people, are we not?   Dwardazik: How can we complete the mission if we can't make choices in the heat of the moment?   Marvin: It was the heat of the moment, yes.   Dwardazik: If, all of a sudden, I decided to take those blows, then... I saw it in all of your eyes. In your bodies. In your muscles. I could see the weakness in you, even when you just tried to move. If more of you had gone down, I might not have been able to handle it alone, and then we all might've been lost. I'm not happy about this. Maybe we could've done things a little bit differently — in fact, we probably could've done things a lot differently, but I'd rather not get told off by Dazki again.   Rosalin: Um... ... ... ... ...I'm gonna go... check on the... supplies.   Dazki gives her a silent thumbs-up.   Marvin: Dwardazik...

Marvin walks over to the dwarf and puts a hand on his shoulder, looking angry but hugging him. Dwardazik starts crying.

Dwardazik: I miss Grogery!   Marvin: I miss him too, man!   Theran also starts crying.   Kesmet joins in.   Dazki: None of us are here to be angry or to yell at each other. I'm sorry that I went overboard earlier, Dwardazik. I miss Grogery, and I'm stressed too, and it got the better of me. We just need to get these things out in the open so that they don't fester into insurmountable anger or resentment or hatred. Because I don't want to have those feelings for any of my friends.   Dwardazik: ...apology accepted, but if you tell anyone about this, you're not getting any free drinks!   Dazki: Oh, I'm going to make sure Marvin puts it into song!   Marvin: I've got plenty in the works, don't you worry!   Dwardazik: ...it's gonna be water for you...   Marvin: Water?!   Kesmet: The greatest of dwarven insults!   Theran: So wait, is it true what I hear about dwarves, that the biggest insult isn't to spit in someone's drink, but to water it down?   Kesmet: Yeah, because their spit is highly alcoholic. That's, like, you know, just neutral. (Deception 24)   Dwardazik: Spitting in someone's drink is barbaric. The real trick is to simply take their drink, finish it yourself, and slam the empty mug in front of them, looking them dead in the eyes.   Kesmet: I thought that was flirting?   Dwardazik: Well, I mean... um... well, it's...   Theran: I'm presuming it's one of those situations where context is very subtle.   Dwardazik: Kesmet, you don't understand. You see, it's — ugh.   Kesmet: I've never felt more connected with my dwarven side than I do right now! Also, there's, like, three of each of you.   Theran: Also, there's a series of insults that you can technically exchange with people across the table, like purposely incorrectly using a specific fork for a specific course... it's soooo boring.   Dwardazik: ... ...huh?   Dazki: Table manners, and being rude using table manners. It's a whole thing. Elven culture is full of very odd, slight insults like that.   Kesmet: Elven insults aren't good.   Dwardazik: Oh, oh! So that would be, like, when you get out your large mug for yourself, and then you get your small mug and give that to your guest? Kind of like that?   Theran: I think so, but make it needlessly and frustratingly complicated, to the point where you could accidentally not insult them if you're not careful. Or insult them way too much and then get in trouble.   Kesmet: Like, I imagine, if you also had a medium-sized mug?   Theran: It would be like if drinking out of a different side of a mug has context depending on what the mug is holding, and also what season it is, and if anybody from their family is married to anyone from your family.   Dwardazik: You're aware that a dwarf mug is actually four human pints, whereas a small dwarf mug is actually one human pint, so... he's getting less. You don't get that?   Theran: I'm not even sure I got elven table manners entirely correct.   Dazki: I don't think anyone gets elven table manners entirely correct. Even the people who pretend they know all of them.   Kesmet: Do elves get elven table manners correct?   Dwardazik: Wait a minute, do we have to practice elven table manners for your father? Nuh-uh. (He pushes his chair out and stands up.) Ain't happening. No chance.   Theran: Is this wood elf table manners, high elf table manners, mixed, or is there something else entirely because we're in more human territ— you know what, I'm not doing the entire "table manners" thing either, unless I have to.   Dazki: No one is doing elven table manners. I couldn't teach you enough in three days to make you appropriate to my father's standards. So we're not even gonna try.   Dwardazik: Wait a minute, Lord Sylroris, right? Why don't we simply fill the entire dining room with wine, ale, and other things, and then when he comes here, he'll forget he even made it into this room after he leaves? Because he'll be drunk!   Dazki: We'll see.   Kesmet: What if we, like, disguise as other people? And then he won't know it's us. And then he'll leave.   Theran: No, unfortunately it's a compliment in elven table manners to get buzzed before business discussions. And his dad would never do that, judging by what Dazki is saying.   Dazki: Anyway, we need to go talk to Annu, ... if everyone here is okay enough to do that? (He looks at Kesmet.)   Dwardazik: UGH. Do we have to? You didn't tell him we were coming, did you?   Dazki: I said we would report to him in person in a few hours.   Dwardazik: The longest dwarven sigh.   Dazki: Look, if you don't want to deal with him, you can just stay here and I'll just say you were not feeling able to make it.   Dwardazik: No, I've gotta make sure you don't get the story wrong... (He starts shuffling his way out, but stops when nobody follows.) ...you guys coming?   Theran: Were you going to say something about Kesmet?   Dazki: Yeah, I was going to ask if Kesmet would let you sober him up a little bit before we go?   Kesmet: I have alittlebitof silver, but there's no werewolves.   Theran: Sober. Sober! SOBER! Sobering you up. I take it Annu is not a man who appreciates drunkenness in his presence? Ultimate Sneeze-Stopper! (He casts a spell again.)   Kesmet: Huh? What? I feel... way better, and... where? Oh, hey, we're back.   Theran: So what is our relation with this "Annu" archlich guy?   Kesmet: ...what's this rock?   Theran: Are you working for him? Are you """working""" for him?   Dazki: We are off-the-books "special advisors".   Theran: Does he, like, know everything?   Kesmet: He likes to think he does.   Theran: Is this like a political relationship, or do we actually trust him?   Dwardazik: A little bit of A, a little bit of B. And, frankly, we've said so much and admitted so much that it's hard to even keep track.   Dazki: We're sort of beyond the point of keeping secrets, because he'd be able to figure them out anyway.   Dwardazik: Frankly, he's more-or-less been an assistant anyway. How do I explain this... honestly, I think he wants to help us, but he's been a real stickler for the rules. And you're gonna find that out.   Dazki: And by that, we mean he is bound to the rules and cannot disobey them. Dwardazik: Even if he would like to. And I have a suspicion that he might, based on his last "joke".   Theran: So, is this one of those situations where it's a good idea to try to enter his mind (with permission) or a bad idea?   Marvin:

  Dazki: Don't even ask permission. Don't do it. No. No mind reading. None whatsoever.   Marvin: Yeah, I'd want nothing to do with that. I'll leave it at that. I don't want to know what sort of eldritch horrors I'd see inside that mind.   Theran: Well, he's an archlich. He used to be a person, right?   Marvin: He acts more like a machine.   Kesmet: A very boring person. Wait, didn't he used to be an elf?   Dazki: Yeah, he did used to be an elf.   Kesmet: That explains so much!   Marvin, looking between Kesmet, Dazki, and Theran: What's THAT supposed to mean?!   Kesmet: He has no sense of humor.   A slightly uncomfortable silence.   Dazki: ...I'm going to take that as a compliment and move on. Let's go, Dwardazik already has a good headstart. Theran, I don't know if you need to come, but you can.   Theran: I am an heir to a throne, in a city that is entirely unfamiliar to me. The only thing I'd be doing is walking around the house and seeing all the things that Grogery left behind when he went off to die. I think I would prefer to come with you guys and be distracted.   Dazki: That's a rather grim way to put it. He went off to save people.   Marvin: And ironically enough, this archlich is actually the engine to help us do so.   Theran: If he is an archlich, and you guys actually had a positive association with him, then I'm presuming he's trustworthy. If Grogery thought he was.   Marvin: "Positive" is a strong word.   Kesmet: "Not negatively neutral" would be more accurate.   Marvin: "Not negatively"... what?!   Kesmet: Or "neutrally not negative".   Dazki: It started very bad, and has recently gotten much better. How's that?   Theran: OK.   Marvin: He's not actively trying to kill us. So that's a good thing.   Kesmet: ...actively.   Dazki: ...anymore.   Dwardazik: I would also not call him a particularly good """person""". As has been said before, let's not forget the fact that he fireballed some civilians.   Marvin: Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that.   Theran: So, wait, how is he on all of your good sides again? Oh, right, that's the political thing. Never mind, that answers everything.   Dazki: That, and he is actively trying to help us stop the same thing that we went to stop, where Grogery was killed.   Kesmet: Mutual enemies, and all that jazz.   Theran: Well, if he's an enemy of the forces that got my brother killed, then maybe I need to meet this man. Lich. Elf. Thing.   Kesmet: Robot.   Dazki: All right. One question to my companions who know about this... (He raises up Baxton's Ring of Mind Shielding)   Kesmet: Fuck that guy.   Marvin: Is he still there?   Dazki: Yeah.   Dwardazik: Destroy it, Dazki!   Marvin: Wait, he is still there?!   Dwardazik: Cast it into the fire!   Dazki: He hasn't spoken much, and I wanted to speak with him about what he told Grogery first before making any decisions.   Kesmet: Sounds reasonable.   Dazki: I'll admit, at one point I was terrified, but I have moved beyond that, I'd like to think. Because I know myself better, now. Oddly enough, in no small part, thanks to him.   Marvin: Yeah, and you've got his sick drip, too.   Dazki: So, I say we put this in the Bag of Holding and not mention it to him.   Marvin: Oh yeah, we're not telling Annu about this shit.   Dwardazik: You know, I frankly would rather see Baxton's ring destroyed. However, in the interest of... his previous contributions... I'd rather at least hear his side of the story before it. Although I can almost guarantee he's trying to manipulate us. And you'd best not be getting manipulated, Dazki! We'll hear what he has to say. If it's defensible, it's defensible.   Dazki: I don't want to prevent him from having that chance, though. All I'm saying.   Dwardazik: Just keep it in mind, my position's quite clear: I want that ring destroyed.   Dazki: I understand.   Dwardazik: Well then. Do we at least try and wash up, or are we just going to go straight for a cab?   Dazki: Uh... up to you guys.   Dwardazik: Can we maybe spend an hour to not be a complete mess? I mean, we're also going to the, ahem, House of Crystal. It's not exactly the back alleys.   Theran: I wasn't going to say anything, but there's a reason I slept in the tent and not next to any of you...   Dwardazik, with a confused look on his face, looks back and forth between Theran and Marvin and shrugs.   Marvin: I mean, it's OK that you don't swing that way.   Theran: No, it's just... — I... — ... ... you guys need to bathe. Please. Especially before Dazki's father gets here.   Marvin: Hey, hey! Traveling across The Phantasmagoria is no simple task!   Theran: I mean, obviously you were all traveling, and that... causes... baths to... not happen... ...but we're back in civilization now!   Dazki: Yep. Time to clean up.   Theran: Um, also... (oh man, I feel so awkward asking for this)... um, I... might have left, without getting my typical allowance from my parents... and there are some spell reagents for new spells I'd like to try out...   Marvin: ..."allowance"...?   Theran: You know, the money that you get to spend on stuff, so that you learn how to spend money, but it's never actually enough to matter?   Marvin: I would cast aside the ridiculous idea of us giving you an allowance, however, I believe that if Grogery's belongings should go to anybody, it should be you.   Dazki: I agree.   Theran: I don't want to take his stuff, but if he was any healer worth his salt, he would've carried a lot of the reagents that I would need to help you guys, if something bad were to happen. And I might need a few other things besides.   Dwardazik: Do we have anyone here who can cast a truth spell?   Dazki: Grogery was the one.   DM: You know of exactly one individual capable of seeing truth.   Dazki: Oh yeah, we do know one individual capable of that. (He seems amused by this.)   Dwardazik: I would rather confirm that Theran is in fact Grogery's relative.   Marvin: Well, I mean, they're not related by blood, if that's what you're asking.   Dwardazik: Theran, I am 99 gold coins of 100 certain that you are who you say you are. But something... it's just too soon, OK? I just need to confirm.   Theran: That's fine, I had literally a glimpse into somebody's firsthand account of what happened, and you just have the words out of my mouth. There's no spell I can cast that would verify the truth of my words, so I don't really mind, as long as it's not an invasion of privacy.   Dwardazik: I just want to hear it from your mouth with a third party there. I dunno. It's stupid, but it irks me, OK?   Marvin: Think about it this way, Dwardazik. We did all see him exactly as he was when we all went to the Red Desert. I'm pretty sure no illusion or ethereal manifestation would've been able to come with us.   Theran: That one "knight in shining armor" saw us as these weird "star people"...   Dwardazik: Theran is an elf. Theran's here. Theran is probably Grogery's brother. I'm just saying, I want to have it confirmed, OK? I want to hear it from his mouth, with a truth spell or something, OK? This is everything Grogery had!   Dazki: Is that all right with you, Theran?   Theran: This is fine.   Dazki: There we go. All right, then, Annu should be able to assist us with that.   Marvin, sarcastically: Oh, for sure, that's —   Dwardazik: And I can promise you, my only question is basically going to be, "Are you Grogery's brother?".   Theran: To which my answer will always be, "yes".

They clean up and hail a cart.

Home is Where the Cart is That Takes You Around to Places so You Don't Have to Walk

Driver: Hey, long time no see! I'll bet you guys have been up to a lot of cool stuff!   Dazki: Yeah, we've been away on business. It's been a lot. A whole lot.   Marvin: Glad to see you're doin' all right.   Driver: Oh, I'm doing more than OK!   Dwardazik: So, I just have to ask, hypothetically speaking — oh, by the way, go to the House of Crystal — hypothetically speaking, did you have any sense of imminent death? Any inkling of it at all?   Driver, after thinking long and hard: No, no, can't say that I have, although it's been such a drain without my favorite customers!   Marvin: Oh, you charmer, you.   Driver: And, speaking of favorite customers, ...could you do me a little favor, maybe?   Kesmet: If it's illegal, ...maybe.   Dazki: Depends. What do you need?   Driver: I feel like I'm kind of, like, a personal acquaintance at this point? With, like, the famous adventurers, right? I'm, like, part of the story?   Kesmet: ...we don't do autographs.   Dwardazik: Just spit it out, man!   Driver: OK, you know what? Never mind. Never mind.   Dwardazik: Nuh-uh, no. I want to hear it! This is probably the most entertaining thing I've heard all day.   Kesmet: It was autographs, wasn't it?   Driver: I'm just saying, if you guys happen to have a few songs or ballads, maybe you could... you know, 'cause I feel like this is important too! Because we've got, like, a rapport?   Kesmet: You want us to share MP3s?   Dwardazik, looking at Marvin: Uh, this is your forte, isn't it? Unless Kesmet's going to start performing...   Kesmet: No, I drink and blow things up.   Marvin: Oh, a song or ballad, you say? If we could take a step back for a second, ...just how famous did you say we were?   Driver: Oh, I mean, everybody's talking about Grogery the Great and his band of merry men!   Dwardazik: Yep...   Theran buries his face in the front of his shirt.   Driver: You can't even walk into a bar or tavern (or a barber, if you're into that sort of — ...I know a guy, if... because your hair... — anyway)... so many stories! I can't believe you guys do all this cool stuff! With the help of, of me!   Marvin: I'm gonna have to know how you want to be known, in said song. A title, perhaps? How would you like to be remembered?   Driver: ohmigosh... like, seriously?   Marvin: I mean, after everything that Grogery did (rest his soul) —   Driver: ...what do you mean?   Marvin: Don't worry about it. After everything that Grogery did, we did agree to give him the name Grogery the Great, since alliteration is —   Kesmet: Wasn't it "Grogery the Mighty"?   Marvin: He has many titles. But anyway, when I write these songs, it would be best if I take the opinion of the subject into account, in how they wish to be remembered.   Dwardazik: I've got a name for 'im! I just thought of it with my clever dwarven mind.   Marvin: Well, tell me! Tell me what your clever dwarven brain came up with!   Dwardazik: His name is Kasper, with a K. Because he's always in front of our house, and he always appears when we're least expecting it!   Driver: I'm not always... I service The Pearl District, you see, there's always... there's familiar... there's roads... there's... ...um...   Marvin, singing: Oh, Kasper was a fine young lad, with words he'd not knew well. We drive on the road, with his trusty steed, oh yes he did that well! (Performance 16)   Marvin: It's a work in progress, how does that sound so far?   Driver: I... it's... yeah, yeah, I could really see it! It's going places! You know, we're partners, you guys and I!   Marvin: But a name, lad! A name! A title!   Dwardazik: It's Kasper.   Driver: A title? I don't have a title, or a cool nickname. We're, like, friends now, right? You can call me Miles.   Marvin: Miles.   Dwardazik: Kasper? I like Kasper.   Driver: Me too!   Dwardazik: You look like a Kasper.   Kesmet: I was gonna say "Cartholomew".   Driver: That's absolutely ridiculous.   Dwardazik: Maybe it can be all three of 'em!   Driver: Oh look, it's The Palace.   Kesmet: "Kasper Cartholomew Miles".   Theran: "Kasper of the Thousand Miles", for that is how many miles he is destined to take you all.   Dazki: We're being expected. Come on, guys.   Marvin: Thanks, Miles! May your journeys be eventful, but not horribly long.   Driver: Yeah, that makes sense for a short-distance cart driver.   Marvin: Yeah, that's why I said it. Get with the picture, man.   They exit the cart at the palace gates. Guards look on with a combination of suspicion and curiosity.   Theran: You guys didn't tell me Grogery was famous!!!   Kesmet: You didn't hear any of the ballads?   Theran: No!   Marvin: I guess they didn't spread fast enough out of the city yet.   Dazki: It was kind-of a new thing.   Marvin: Yeah. It was a true story about him killing a Beholder. He did kill a Beholder, and I did sing about it. Might've embellished a little bit, but the people of the city latched onto it.   Theran: I should feel so happy about this, but part of my feels so disappointed and angry.   Marvin: Angry?   Dazki: Why?   Theran: I dunno, about how my parents treated him and would never let him leave the house or... it's like, all he needed was to get out and do things on his own, and everybody loved him. But they didn't even want any of the important royalty or anyone to see him!   Marvin: I can understand how that would make you angry. It would make me angry too.   Theran: I am happy for him, but it's like... "really? this is all needed to...?"   Marvin: I don't think he would want you to stay angry, though.   Theran: I know, and I'm trying to stay positive about all this. It's like... everything is constantly reminding me that... yeah. I'll be fine. I'll handle it.   Dazki: If you need help, if you need to talk, if you need time, it's OK. Process your emotions however you need to, don't let anyone else tell you to be ready before you are.   Marvin: Speaking of being ready, are you ready to meet an archlich?   Theran: No, but it sounds like we have to be, so I will be.

Dazki waves flippantly at the onlooking guards and attempts to use the cellstone to let Annu know that they're "approaching the House of Crystal and will be there in moments", forgetting that it can only send one message per day in that direction. They walk towards the House of Crystal, Marvin with an air of confidence and Dwardazik dragging his feet.

Marvin: Dwardazik, the key to success is —   Kesmet: Not being us. We know.   Marvin: ...that... well, ... ...hmm... you've got me there... but! If you walk like you're supposed to be where you are, no one's going to question you.   Dwardazik: I know, I would just really like to be in a tavern right now. Hell, I couldn't even get into all my finery!   Dazki: Tell you what, tonight, you can go into whatever tavern you want, and we can all take an evening for ourselves. So the sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can get to that tavern.   Dwardazik: Yup. Let's go.   Kesmet: Weren't you also interested in being here to truth-check Theran?   Dwardazik: I know, I know, you don't have to remind me, Kesmet. Doesn't mean I can't have another goal in mind, like a giant big frosty glass of ale.

They walk in.

Annu Dilemma

Dwardazik approaches the desk.

Dwardazik: Hey, lass.   GIST, appearing inside the crystal: ♫Looking to assist, Just Ask GIST™!♫ ...I'm still working on it. Hi, welcome to the House of Crystal, how can I help you today?   Marvin: I think your jingle's sounding lovely.   Dazki: Annu Adabra is expecting us.   GIST: Oh, that's right! I'll send you right there!   Dazki: Thank you.

They follow.

Theran: ... ... ...hi?   Annu: The existence of extracurricular activities is not one I wish to attend to today.   Dwardazik: Is that your way of saying you'd rather get straight down to business?   Annu: I am very busy, and I do not wish to meet with other noble people at this time.   Kesmet: He's with us.   Dazki: There is a purpose behind that, which we will get to in our report. Is this acceptable?   Annu: I do not condone the presence of an unauthorized individual during these discussions.   Marvin: So, uh, what do we gotta do to make him "authorized", then?   Dwardazik: Before that, Annu, could you cast a truth spell so that we could ask a few questions to Theran?   Annu: I believe the nature of our relationship is that you are an advisor to me and my council.   Kesmet: ...so, is that a "yes"?   Annu: You will not direct me how to use my abilities.   Dwardazik: Annu, would you please provide a truth spell so that we can clarify if we should have Theran given authorization to be here?   Annu: Others may appreciate your sudden change to a familial tone, but it will not work on me.   Dwardazik: Annu, I require your assistance. What do you need in exchange?   Annu: I wish to know the nature of your relationship with this new and very important small child.   Theran: I am just as tall as a normal elf!   Dazki: He is Grogery's adopted brother.   Annu: I am aware of the supposed interaction between the small goblinoid known as Grogery and this child here, Theran Daointa'ar. I am also quite aware that it would be very unlikely for him to have permission to be out here with a group of individuals such as yourselves.   Dwardazik: So he's Theran?   Kesmet: Fuck you too, Annu.   Dazki: Well, we found him in the Phantasmagoria.   Annu: You will consult his parents at once as to his current location.   Theran: Why is it so important that my parents know I'm here?   Marvin: Yeah, did you — are you close with his parents?   Dazki: Because it could cause a diplomatic incident, that's why.   Marvin: Ah, yes... politics...   Dwardazik: Shouldn't we take Theran's opinion on this?   Annu: Opinions of unauthorized personnel are unwarranted, nor will I be hearing them at this time.   Dwardazik: But it's literally the one in question! It's Theran! And he's the one who's supposed to be the "diplomatic incident". Theran, are you a "diplomatic incident"?   Theran: Um, a "diplomatic incident" would not be able to identify itself as such. Because usually, whatever instigates the "diplomatic incident" has no idea what it's doing. Which is me, sometimes, but I — gaah, I'm tripping over my words again... — regardless, if these folks are your "advisors", I see no reason why I cannot take up a similar role while my brother is... indisposed?   Annu: This is highly irregular, —   Kesmet: But not unheard of?   Theran: What about this group of people is not "highly irregular"?   Marvin: ...yeah!   Annu: — however, (he puts up his gauntlets) these are difficult times, and with the appropriate paperwork, I am willing to grant a temporary allegiance to this individual.   Dwardazik: Does it always have to be so, like, formal? You can't just have it —   Annu: Yes.   Dwardazik: ...OK.   Theran: Unfortunately, yes.   Dazki: Thank you for your understanding.

Annu: Individual who is designated as "Theran Daointa'ar", what is your purpose here with these individuals?   Theran: I was brought here, told by another plane of existence that my brother needed help, and that it could take me to where he was and help me help him, and I accepted, and it teleported me into the Phantasmagoria right next to them, but it's already too late because Grogery is gone and I was too late for it, and, um... yeah!   Annu: Do you have any intent to deceive or betray me or any of my fellow advisors with us here today?   Theran: I have no intent to deceive or betray, unless doing so would help me rescue my brother or getting home, or...   Kesmet: If you gotta, you will.   Theran: But I say truthfully that I haven't had to.   Dwardazik: ...that's a bit more conditionals than I'd thought...   Annu moves his gaze away from Theran and onto Dazki, who willingly accepts the effects of the Zone of Truth.   Annu: What, do you assess, is the danger of having this individual within this room?   Dazki: I assess that the danger would be due to his youth and inexperience, inadvertently allowing classified information to be improperly disseminated. However, I feel that is a small risk and believe, based on how he has handled himself so far and on his upbringing, that it would be a reasonable choice to make.   Annu: Do you wish to instate this individual as a sub-advisor to your advisory council?   Dazki: Yes.   Annu moves his gaze back towards Theran again, who (this time) also willingly accepts the effects of the Zone of Truth. This time, unlike before, he explicitly identifies the criteria in advance.   Annu: Do you agree to show a tendency for cooperation, and be willing to relinquish to me goods that I ask for / information that I require?   Theran, with a little hesitation: I... do?   Annu: Are you capable, without fault, of following the rules of a superior?   Theran, with a lot more hesitation: Except wherein so doing would violate the first request you have had.   Annu: Do you possess a perspective, capability, or knowledge that can be appropriately utilized to advise my advisors?   Theran, without any hesitation: Absolutely!   Annu, stopping his Zone of Truth: This individual is naïve and will no doubt be a hindrance to this group.   Theran: Hey!   Dwardazik: That's a pretty good one.   Annu: But, as you are the ones that will be looking after your advisor, it is of little consequence to me, as long as he is of no consequence to you. Deliver to me the report.   Kesmet: ...did he just "your funeral" us?   Dazki: Yeah, basically.

Dazki delivers a full report of the events that had happened since they left, intentionally leaving out only the parts that concern Baxton and his ring. During this, Annu interrupts to ask incredibly persistent and very specific questions that may not even seem relevant to what Dazki is talking about. Dazki does his best to answer them, referencing his notes where applicable, including Theran's stated suspicions about the goings-on within the Red Desert.   Theran adds that the Red Desert plane seems to be alive in some fashion, and based on his druidic insights, the Red Desert doesn't seem to "want" any of what's going on with the black tentacle-like things that he believes are tethers. Based on the Red Desert's help so far, it would likely be cooperative, if the party had a way to help more directly.   After the conclusion of the report, Annu responds.

Annu: There is a part of your story that does not make sense to me.   Theran: What doesn't make sense?   Annu: The goblin cleric, Grogery. Though the being's motivations seem to be in-line with the character as I know of it, it seems still more likely than not that the whole mission would have failed, and that Grogery would be with us here.   Theran: So, wait, can you please repeat the question? I must have lost my attention somewhere partway through...   Annu: I do request that you do not hold anything back. You will tell me everything I need to know. Without perfect information, a perfect solution will not be found.   Theran: So, what do you think I'm holding back?   Annu: I do not speak to you, small child.   Theran: Oh! Oh, sorry.   Annu: I speak of the motivation of the goblin cleric, Grogery. Though he may be a rather selfless individual, it is a strange intellectual move to make.   Dazki looks back at the rest of the party and shrugs his shoulders. (Deception 16)   Marvin: Annu. Grogery, as you have pointed out, is very selfless. What he did... like you said, we might not have been successful had he not done that. And I would rather not dishonor his sacrifice by putting to question his character or motives.   Annu: Truth is never dishonorable.   Marvin: What more... you keep asking for truth, but you're not asking a question!   Annu: Where did Grogery get the idea that he could manipulate the object, as such, to cause a reaction?   Marvin: We're not mind-readers, and he's not still around for us to ask him.   Theran: Well, I am a mind-reader, but I wasn't there at the time.   Annu: I suppose it's a matter that I will look into, myself, as your compatriot's death is too recent for you to form any coherent information.   Marvin tilts his head, seemingly about to say something.   Annu: Onto more cheerful matters.   Marvin: Of course! Of course.   Annu: I have lost my mind. Can I have yours?   Marvin: What do I get in return?   Dazki: I believe he was telling us another "joke".   Annu, much more slowly and deliberately: I have lost my mind. Can I have yours? (DM: Annu never reiterates himself like this.)   Theran: Are you asking for Marvin's? Mine?   Dwardazik: I volunteer. Frankly, you can have it.   Annu, suddenly panicked and speaking rapidly: They have lost my mind. I can work backwards and deduce the location of the body and soul, but I cannot deduce the location of the mind. It is lost. There are inconsistencies. There should not be inconsistencies.   Dwardazik: ...can I get a repeat on that? That went too fast for...   Marvin, whispering to Dwardazik: Do you know what a phylactery is?   Dwardazik: Oh. I get it.   Marvin: Yeah, that's why he's being... you know, that's why he has his current job position, let's put it that way.   Dazki: That is certainly something we can look into finding for you. I'm afraid that, paltry as it may be, I am using my mind, but I can see if we can try to locate yours. Do you have any idea where you last saw it?   Dwardazik: Wait-wait-wait-wait... are we speaking around something? Am I to believe that we're here to get his mind? Like, his brain?   Annu: I have deduced the location of the body. The body must be within this city.   Marvin: Oh. I was thinking, like, super far away.   Annu: I have deduced the location of the soul. The location of the soul must be bound by somebody who would've been close to the event. It must be within the capital.   Annu: I have lost my mind.   Theran: ...hmm.   Dwardazik: ...umm...   Dazki: ...uh-huh...

Dazki: Interesting. Is there anything else that you need from us?   Dwardazik: Well, then, how are you speaking to us without a mind, huh? How does that work?   Annu: I do not wish to explain it. It would take far too long, and I fear that this state is merely temporary.   Dwardazik: Oh. You do sound a bit different. Your tone, I can tell.   Dazki: Thank you for your time, we'll allow you to get back to, uh... your work.   Annu: You will help me find my mind.   Dazki: We will do our best, yes.   Annu: It was lost to me when I regained this government position. My current state of servitude is voluntary, as per an agreement. The losing of my mind is not.   Dwardazik: So wait, hold up, hold up, hold up. So are you telling me that right now, you're kind-of... "here"? He does sound a little different, doesn't he?   Annu suddenly drops his head and grasps the back of his neck, as if suddenly in pain. He swiftly turns away from the party, as if lost in deep concentration.   Dwardazik: Annu, remember these words, OK? Bones are always so calm. Nothing ever gets under their skin.   Marvin: I like that.   Annu: REDACTED.   Dazki: Come on, guys. Let's step outside. I think I've figured out what's... and it would be redacted.

The party leaves, and Annu does not turn to watch them go. Dazki turns to the others and speaks in a hushed tone.

Dazki: Whoever's controlling his phylactery kind-of let their grip go a little bit. So he was able to behave in a slightly less constrained manner. He doesn't have all of his memories, and he's not who he was before he entered this servitude that he is in. He wants us to find out who he was before that. His phylactery is in the capital, his body is obviously in the city. He doesn't have access to the memories of who he used to be.   Marvin: And he needs both, for that?   Dazki: I don't know, he somehow needs to remember who he was. Maybe his journal that Grogery found, which was probably taken from him? We can certainly — if we have time — do more research on him while we're here. Maybe even head to the capital on our way to our next objective, to see if we can find anything out there.   Marvin: Just as a quick recap, ...where did we find that diary? That wasn't in Vicra's Lair, was it?   Dazki: It was in Baxton's.   Marvin: Ah.   Dazki: And we haven't really talked with Baxton about Annu, but I don't really think he'll be forthcoming. Those two were particularly bitter rivals, to put it politely.   Marvin: Yeah, I do remember that part.   Dazki: Yeah. Here's a question, unrelated. Do we talk to Morn'Tharur today, or do we wait until we have a plan on how to return Grogery?   Kesmet:

  Dwardazik: Nah, we stick to the plan. Go to Isaiah Loprair.   Dazki: Well, yeah, yeah. I mean if we can't find a way to return Grogery, he should know.   Dwardazik: You think — oh, OK, you don't think he might have some special way. You just want to spread the news.   Dazki: I want to let people who cared about Grogery know. Morn'Tharur was a very good friend of Grogery's.   Marvin: Oh, yeah, Theran, you're gonna love this.   Theran: Oh?   Dazki: Yeah, your brother was friends with an ancient dragon.   Theran: O... ... ...K...   Dwardazik: You know, now that we talk to "some random person" (Theran) and explain all the things that Grogery's done, he really does sound like a badass, doesn't he?   Marvin: Hell yeah!   Theran: Again, all he really needed to happen was to have him not be treated as a pet. For him to be treated like an equal.   Dazki: Look at it this way: now you have that knowledge and experience, and you are going to be in a position where you're going to be able to do something about that. That is now your goal: make sure your people understand that.   Marvin: Yeah, so, Dwardazik, Annu certainly recognized him immediately by name.   Dwardazik: I am convinced.   Marvin: All right.   Dwardazik: As far as I'm concerned, he is who he says he is.   Dazki: All right, when we get back to our our manor, we have Grogery's things in this Bag of Holding here. We can help you go through them, if you would like.   Theran: I would like some help with it.   Dazki: Perfect. We'll take care of that tonight. After dinner, if that's OK?   Theran: That's fine by me.   Dazki: All right. So let's go meet someone else who appreciated and respected Grogery: the high priest of the area.   Theran: ...again, this leaves me impressed, but also deeply sad.   Dazki: Look, Grogery knew and got along with important people. He was a good man, and he will be again.   Marvin: Oh yeah, when are we going to go see Queenie-Beanie?   Dazki: I want to talk to Deuce first, see if we can find someone... I'm sure she's got some kind of a rival. They might not be a particularly strong rival, but we might be able to use that to get a better price for our "prize". If she wants the relationship to be all business, then so be it, we're gonna get the best bargain that we can.   Marvin: I like the sound of that!   Dazki: And if that involves a little bit of manipulation and blackmail like she does to us, then so goddamn be it.   Dwardazik: Always this shit, isn't it... whatever it takes to win...   Marvin: We can't sell ourselves short!   Dazki: No, it's not "whatever it takes to win". It's "whatever it takes to bring Grogery back".   Dwardazik: In that case, yes.   Dazki: They are the best access we have to the funds needed to do so.   Marvin: Ah, yes. Good old tax evasion.   Dazki: I'm not saying I condone it, but...   Marvin: Yeah, I know, I know.   Dazki: Grogery deserves our effort.   Marvin: I know, I'm just...   Dazki: I get it.   On their way to the Cathedral of Light...   Dwardazik: Hey, Kesmet, I think there's an orphanage over there on the left.   Kesmet: I can't adopt anybody right now. We've gotta get Grogery back!   Marvin: Well, at least you've got your priorities straight.   Dwardazik: It looks like it's an old abandoned wooden structure.   Marvin: Highly flammable.   Kesmet: It is pretty run-down. Somebody from the city should probably take a look at that. We're more the "self-defense" crew. We don't really do carpentry.

Theran: I don't even recognize that god. How powerful must that church be in order to have this many followers?   Marvin: Didn't Grogery — he gave the impression that he cast Sending back and forth with you pretty frequently.   Theran: Twenty-five. Words. Per. Spell.   Marvin: OK, fair.   Theran: Maybe a hundred words per night, maximum.   Dazki: He didn't tell him about the fake profit god of money and "give me money and that will bring fortune to you".   Theran: He did tell me about The Order of Imagination.   Dazki: Yeah, this other place, that's just a scam for foolish and easily manipulated people. That's why Grogery didn't bother to bring it up: because it doesn't matter.   Theran: Huh. Fair.

A Bit of Light Religion

Dazki: I guess Miles was right: we're getting pretty famous around these parts.   Marvin: How many weeks have we been gone for?   Dazki: Yeah, but rumors spread, and you told a pretty good story about Grogery the Great.   Kesmet: "Grogery the Mighty".   Marvin: OK, yes, and buttering me up does make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, however, is there nothing else interesting that's going on in this city that they can't move onto the next thing?   Kesmet: We cured a "plague", blew things up, got pardoned for it, and we blew things up too (...). We're probably the most interesting thing that's happened to them in a while.

Isaiah: I'm so glad you guys were able to stop by. I've heard the news.   Dazki: Which news, the bad news which you come to speak with you about?   Isaiah: Yes, I know precisely why you've come here, as you have... ... ... ...told me.   Dazki: Yes, do you mind if we sit down somewhere to discuss it?   Isaiah: Yes. Yes, yes, sure.

Dazki: Thank you for seeing us on such short notice. As you know why we have come, if we can provide the materials, is there anything you or any of your priests / priestesses may be able to do?   Dwardazik: Can ya bring 'im back?   Isaiah: As I have stated before, there are indeed powerful, benevolent magics that are capable of bringing a willing soul back to the material plane, practically as they were.   Kesmet:

  Dwardazik: Let's do it!   Isaiah: As I have said before, such powerful magics are not in the realm of evocation. They tend towards that of the necromantic.   Dwardazik: What are you saying?   Kesmet: Sounds like he's against it, like, on principle, and that Grogery wouldn't take it if offered the resurrection?   Isaiah: As you well know, the government as a whole has blanketedly banned all necromantic acts, except for those very extreme circumstances, and for research.   Dwardazik: Come on!!! You could revive people! They die, and they've — I'VE died and been brought back, am I a necromantic abomination? (Isaiah raises a finger as Dwardazik says this, but he politely waits for Dwardazik to finish.) This is politics! Don't let politics get between Grogery and us! Come on!   Isaiah: As you know, the eighth of the eight tenets of faith brought to us by Pelor states that rules are secondary. That one should place more emphasis on the actions and less emphasis on the strict adherence to rules. It states that not all who wish to behave in a manner that forbids others will understand every case necessary to show light.   Dwardazik: UGH. Sorry, Isaiah Loprair, but stop it with the sermon and speak plainly.   Isaiah: My apologies. It is true that I am capable of the sought-after necromantic talents that you seek, and being a high-ranking member of the government (unfortunately), I can justify a certain exception.   Kesmet: ...I'm sensing a "but" coming in soon...   Dwardazik: What's the problem?   Isaiah: But, in order for such an advanced act of resurrection to take place, there needs to be a soul willing to return. And in preparation of such an event, I have attempted to reach out to such soul, but — and this is where my condolences lie, not with the fact that your friend is dead, but the fact that — despite his death, I cannot guarantee that his soul was in within the eternal light of Pelor.   Dwardazik: ...wut.   Marvin: Um. Could you speak a little more plainly about that?   Dwardazik: Oh, he was completely plain! Are you telling me that, for all the good that Grogery did, he didn't even get to go to the land of Pelor, or whatever you guys are calling it?   Dazki: Mirage Prime might have snatched Grogery up. I was afraid of that. That's...   Marvin: Oh, he's goin' down.   Dwardazik, standing up: I'm out. (He walks out.) I'll be out front.   Marvin: He took our best boy. No redemption for him. Nope. Nope. Nope. He's — Mirage Prime's goin' down.   Dazki, with a long and heavy sigh: I see. As I said, I was afraid of that. Damnit. Forgive my language.   Isaiah makes a symbol with his hand.   Isaiah: I'm not sure how we wish to proceed here. Though I do wish that we could properly mourn our fallen comrade, I need to speak with you.   Dazki: Absolutely. What can we do for you?   Isaiah: You have been dabbling in far greater evils than the necromantic, have you not?   Marvin: Define "dabbling".   Theran: Define "evils".   Dazki: They have been involved in our lives, yes.   Isaiah: And when you said what you said, ...you believe you know the location of our poor friend's soul?   Dazki: I believe I may have an idea of what plane it is on, but beyond that, I'm not sure I have any more knowledge of the exact location.   Isaiah: It would be odd to ask for a specific location, unless the soul were imprisoned in some sort of magical gem, but... I greatly fear that whatever new or ancient evil you have disturbed, whatever tumultuous anger has happened here, this country — this world we live in — it may be rough, but it is ours. The light shines upon this plane here for a reason. And if this is now capable of taking those brightest stars from us, I do request that I not be a part of it. With all due respect — I am avoiding negativity here — but I grow weak and weary, and I have seen much in my youth.   Dazki: Of course. We would not want to bring such a thing upon you. Honestly, we've been trying to keep it from everyone that we can. I apologize for how heavily we may have been leaning upon you.   Isaiah: I request — no, I NEED — you to stop this dark shadow. I cannot deal with this again.   Dazki: Oh, don't worry. We are not stopping until this shadow has been completely eradicated.   Theran: What do you mean, "again"?   Isaiah: Small child, there have been various wars and violence waged here. Though it is common for humanoid races to bicker and squabble, to cause others pain where no pain is necessary, the true problem lies with what something that has neither an idea nor a conscience would do. And though you see me here in this beautiful temple and well-pressed robes, I was a very important member to drive back those dark forces. To heal those who have... ... ...I mustn't bring up this information with my past. We should rest. You seem weary.

Dwardazik walks back in.

Dazki: Very much so. There is no rest for the weary.   Theran: On the contrary, I feel more determined than I have for a long time.   Dazki: Could you help us perform a remembrance for Grogery?   Isaiah: This, I can do. Though I fear it will not bring him any peace, at least it will help bring hope and bright futures to those who knew him.   Dazki: It's a phrase I've heard once: "funerals are for the living."   Isaiah: I believe sunrise would be most appropriate.   Dwardazik: So that's it, huh? There's no solution? Just a funeral?   Isaiah: There is no solution, unless the darkness is driven away.   Dazki: Basically, we have to finish what we started, and then we might be able to get him back. Until then, no.   Dwardazik: Nothing's changed. That simplifies things.   Dazki: But in preparation for the chance that we might not be able to, and in acknowledgement of his sacrifice and how he helped and protected all of us, I feel it would be appropriate to do this. To thank him.   Isaiah: Do not feel that it is a celebration of loss, but feel it as a seed of hope. A nostalgia, if it were.   Dwardazik: We'd better make sure it's the best sendoff party there ever was.   Marvin: Absolutely.   Isaiah: I must prepare for this evening's rituals.   Dazki: Of course. Is there anything that we can prepare? And should we give you time to prepare for the remembrance?   Isaiah: I am well versed in these at this point. I believe I will be ready by sunrise. If you wish to speak anything, do let me know.   Dazki: I will have something prepared by then.   Theran: As will I.   Marvin: Well, thank you for your time.   Dazki: And I'm sorry we had to bring you such grievous news. Thank you for handling it with such grace.

Isaiah makes a silent slight bow, Dazki bows deeply in return, Dwardazik gives a nod, and they all leave.

Dwardazik: Our mission has not changed. Mirage Prime, you're going down. OK, guys, do we want to just get this Morn'Tharur business squared away, then? I don't know if we should really be going through that district when it's getting dark, but if we hurry, we should be fine.   Dazki: No, it's... we need to tell him.   Dwardazik: I, for one, would be fine with a scrap right around now. Long as I don't have to watch a — well, I'll watch Theran's back, but, you know what I mean...   Theran: If Morn'Tharur was as appreciative of a friend, I don't think it's a good idea to fight him over the grief of Grogery passing. It's not what he would want.   Dazki: Let's just say that the last time we spoke, he said if anything happened to Grogery, it would be our lives.   Dwardazik: Oh, he did say that, didn't he...   Dazki: Yep.   Theran: Well then, let me go in and speak to him first?   Dwardazik: That might be the worst thing you could possibly do?   Theran: What! I introduce myself as Grogery's brother.   Dwardazik: Hold up. Time out. Group meet. OK. Kesmet, Marvin, Dazki, ...Theran..., you realize this is a dragon, right? You walk in there, saying what you just said, we don't know what Morn'Tharur's going to do. The chances that you get smacked / eaten up / gobbled: not zero.   Marvin: He's right.   Dazki: Yeah, I don't disagree with you on that.   Dwardazik: You really want to go in there, to a place you've never seen, to a dragon larger than anything I've ever seen, and just give the bad news — that we just told you he would basically end us for saying that we failed? That is... it just... ...oh boy. Am I wrong in thinking that this is confusing? Why would he volunteer for this?   Kesmet: Maybe we spin it differently? We tell him Grogery sacrificed himself to save us.   Dazki: Yeah, absolutely, but uh, let's hope that's good enough.   Dwardazik: Why don't we just send a letter?   Dazki, chuckling: A letter's not going to get down there.   Marvin: Let's be honest. If Morn'Tharur is as wise as a dragon his age should be, then telling him the truth — how Grogery sacrificed himself for the rest of us — it would be a pretty huge dishonor for him to go and just gulp us and chew us up.   Kesmet: He does live in a basement and has hyenas pick scales off his butt. I don't know how wise he is.   Marvin: That's true. I'd be pretty irritated for all eternity if that was happening to me too. Hadn't considered that part.   Dwardazik: You know what this is? Sorry for stopping us, I've just got the jitters. I'm afraid.   Theran: OK, how about this: all of you go in and stay close to me so that if he does anything to hurt all of you, he'll also have to hurt me. And if Grogery is dead, he wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me.   Dazki: Yeah, I guess... there's no other way around it, because we definitely have to do this. So let's be quick about it.   Dwardazik: All right, let's do it.   Dazki: Sorry to give you this whirlwind introduction to all of your brother's important friends, Theran...   Theran: No, it's really good to know how much of an impact he had. It makes me realize that I could have that sort of impact too, if I have the chance. And now that I do, I'm going to take it.   Marvin: He really did.   Dazki: Glad to hear that.

A Royal Distraction

Be it iron, clay, whiskey stone, throw the bone? No
A fence ruster, an oil duster, oh greasy brother!
Mother of pearl, of ink, a ship to sink?
Something swift? Send a gift or a simple facelift?
Birds of a feather or a new pair of leathers, sewn together a skinned cat
They always say that dogs and lambs, sheeps and goats, points and pits
Can't dance, but why can't we all just get along
They're wrong, but if you don't tell them, then neither will I.

Queen gives Dazki a side eye as she performs this absolutely atrocious line of poetry that would attract nobody to sit and listen. She has a sun hat that she — only half-jokingly — waves to him upside-down, as if to elicit donations for her performance. Dwardazik gives her five coppers, and Theran drops in a gold piece. Dazki blows her a kiss.

Dwardazik: That's an interesting beat.   Dazki (in thieves' cant): We can talk tonight. Other business first. Apologies.   Dwardazik: I've never seen you folks workin' here before.   Queen: We get around. And an apology will not be necessary, as we will be speaking right now. Surely, whatever you're working on is less important than what we have to discuss. I wouldn't want you running around looking for better deals.   Dwardazik: We doin' business? Here? Right now?   Dazki: We have lost someone in the past day. We are notifying friends and relatives.   Queen, stepping forward: Then we'll make it quick, as I'm sure some of these losses might be more important to others. Now, we could either discuss this in the middle, or we can find someplace more discreet nearby, but I am not letting this fish get away.   Dazki: Someplace more discreet it is. I'm sure you have somewhere in mind, so please, lead the way.

Queen swan dives off the bridge. Ten puts down his bongos, sighs, and dejectedly climbs over the edge of the wall to follow.

Dazki, as Ten climbs over: She sure has a flair for the dramatic.   Marvin: Is she expecting us to follow her?   Dazki: Yes.   Dwardazik: How did I get caught up with this family...

Theran gives an Ultra Gravity Warp to some of the party members who ask for it, and they go off.

Queen: It takes a lot of force — a lot of passion — to fully dismember a human corpse. It's back-breaking labor. I didn't think your nimble fingers — or nimbler mind — would have the stamina to pull it off. But I assume that's what you wish to show me?   Dwardazik: Huh? Dazki, I assume you know what's going on?   Dazki: Yes! (His tone clearly indicates that he's irritated at how far behind Dwardazik seems to be, as he pulls out the head of Dennis Donahue.)   Queen: And you are interested in producing leverage with this item? Please, tell me your intent. I'd like to hear it directly from you, instead of being filtered through some sort of bard.   Marvin: Hey!   Dazki: Initially, it had to do with the member of our group that you don't see with us at the moment. The short one, always in the shining plate mail. He has died, and we do not have a body. But we certainly had access to someone who could return his soul to a body, so initially we wanted to use this as leverage for diamonds to do so.   Queen: So, as we had discussed before your disappearing act, you were indeed going to solve a lot of my problems. I'm impressed!   Dazki: I am impressive!   Queen: Indeed, you are. Tell me, then, what is it you seek now? I sense that tone in your voice that means something is futile.   Dazki: Remove all of our debt to you, and use this as leverage with your father to make sure that Li'l Joker gets to choose what she wants to be. I don't want another person forced into positions like I have been. And if I can do something to protect them, to help them, then I will.   Queen, despondent and in half-disgust: What do you know?   Dazki: Surely, you've looked into me and who I am? I have plenty of responsibilities that have been thrust on me, whether I want them or not. Different, yes, but it is very similar in principle. I would assume, based on previous conversations, Jack would get the ultimate decision on whether Li'l Joker would be "joining the family" or not. I want her to be able to have that choice.   Queen: You know nothing about consequences being "thrust" upon you. What, a black sheep in a minor noble family reaching above their pay grade? Just sheltered enough to make bad decisions?   Marvin: Uh... ...it sounds like you don't want to make the deal.   Dazki: I mean, you're not wrong, but I'm trying to do better.   Queen: You're trying to do better, how? By thrusting a different set of situations onto some other individual? Regardless of who is pulling the strings, there is always a puppeteer. If not Jack, then who? You? Some sultry businessman in his late thirties? Some minor noble hitting above his pay grade?   Dazki: What would you have for her, then?   Queen: I've learned to pick my battles. Not all business is good business.   Dazki: That's fair. I guess I was maybe too blinded by my good intentions.   Queen: Intentions are fine. They're a great dream to have, at night, when you're suddenly motivated. Thinking, "this is how I'm going to change the world", and, "when I have it, things will be different", but they never are, are they? No, they're always the same. Every hand of cards, a win, a loss, or a draw.   Dazki: Then play a different game.   Queen: I'm willing to strike a deal.   Dazki: And what deal are you willing to strike? What do you believe is fair?   Queen: What I believe is that, despite our vast differences and conflicting attitudes, we do share something in common. Unfortunately, I will only be able to take partial credit for this... situation. And you know that, as does Jack.   Dazki: Fair enough...   Queen: And though I don't much care for this noble and formal lifestyle, I would like to have a longer leash. (She very subtly flicks her eyes towards Ten.) The same thing you wish for our little tot. Why do you only care for that?   Dazki: I had assumed — clearly, wrongly so — that your lot had already been cast, and that even this would not have been enough to make (what I am to understand is) the heir apparent a longer leash.   Queen: Perhaps I'm willing to play a different game. I say we don't let Jack be involved in this at all. Let him believe his rival's still out there. Just for a little bit longer.   Dazki: And what's in it for you?   Queen: What's in it for me? The puppet of a distracted puppetmaster? Think it through, just a little.   Dazki puts the head on the table.   Dazki: And, if you could come to us as friends. Allies, from now on. No more of this business with "debt", or "blackmail", or anything like that. I want to have a more positive, less "business" relationship. A friendship with you.

Queen suddenly and aggressively draws a dagger and thrusts it straight for Dazki's neck. He instinctively grabs her wrist with one hand and pulls it to the side, using his other hand to pull her towards him. She starts making out with him.

Marvin: You know, I was JUST about to say you two should get a room. As a joke.   Dwardazik: I was about to... so, I'm surprised, but also not-so-surprised. Ugh. (He takes a couple of steps back, grabs a cigarette, and stares into the water.)

Dwardazik: Well. Judging by how many coins are here, that's a hefty sum. Let's split it. (5 platinum pieces to each non-Dazki party member).   Dazki, flustered: Yep, seems fair, for you guys, yep.   Theran: Was the "dragon" a... metaphor for... Dazki's tongue, or something? Also, thanks, I didn't realize I was getting an allowance.   Marvin: Was... was that sarcasm, Theran?   Theran: A little bit. My mind is still just kind-of reeling from what happened.   Marvin: Grogery was just as much a part of the journey to eliminate that man as we were, so...   Dwardazik: Consider this part of Grogery's reward. You're earning the next set.   Theran: Thanks.   Marvin: If you'll help us, that is.   Theran: Oh, of course.