Session 50

General Summary

• The party needs to devise a new plan to deal with Baxton, now that it's clear that it's going to take quite a while to unite the gnolls under one banner.
• Dazki, Kesmet, and Grogery went to the Undermart to buy some information from Alfalfa.
• The Tall Man and the Short Man travel around healing people. The people are well and truly healed, though the methods are "unusual".
• Baxton is "practically a shoe-in" for leadership of the House of Crystal at this point, and the party seems to have helped a lot in getting him there.
• The firelord hardly does anything himself, preferring to delegate everything to the leaders of the four houses.
• There doesn't seem to be a viable "sneaky" way to get into the House of Crystal, though it apparently has services to help you navigate around once you're inside.
• Oskar LaVista had infiltrated The Hounds Guild, thinking that they were still probably the main underworld group. Rubic wound up rescuing him in the end.
• Dennis is on a boat to some islands in the Waterscar. If things go badly enough for the Hounds Guild here, though, it might force him inland.
• Grogery's address was actually a room number in the previous firelord's palace. Today, that location is the exact center of The Spire of Beasts. Alfalfa brushed it off, clearly believing that there's nothing there. Of course, the party knows otherwise.
• Meanwhile, Dwardazik spent that time mourning the loss of his keg of ale, working on reinforcing the defenses around the house. He managed to get up the front gate and start a makeshift barricade / chokepoint to limit access through the front door.
• When the party got back together, they brainstormed some more plans for taking care of Baxton. The two main ideas on the table right now (not mutually exclusive) are to try to stall his ascent to leadership of the House of Crystal by making the other houses doubt him, and to just kill him outright.

 

Full Recap

Over to the Undermart

Dazki lets everyone know he's heading to Undermart to see if he can buy information on both Baxton and Annu. Grogery and Kesmet agree to go with him, but Dwardazik has other plans. He wants to fortify the house against potential attackers.   Kesmet changes into his normal traveling clothes for the journey, which leads Grogery to wonder:

Grogery: Hey Dazki, is it bad form to go to the Undermart in full shining armor?   Dazki: Well, you'd definitely stick out, but they wouldn't kick you out or anything. I would suggest at least putting a cloak over your armor so it's not quite as conspicuous.   Grogery: The last one I had got fireballed off... Dazki hands Grogery his cloak oh, thank you!   Dazki: It's going to be a little big, but it will help hide the armor.   Grogery: Sure, plus, the armor gives it lots of places where I could just tuck stuff in, to keep it from being too big.   Dazki: Also: no real names, and don't start any fights. If a fight starts on you, you can finish it, just don't start it.

  Kesmet cuts a cloak out of a piece of muddy red canvas on the ground and a bit of rope lying around.  

Dazki: It's not too far from here, hopefully you guys don't mind hoofing it instead of taking a carriage.   Grogery: It's not that far, so we probably don't have to worry about guards.

  They make it there without incident. Kesmet and Dazki have been there before, but Grogery has not, so Dazki gives him the rundown: no fighting, no attacking anyone else, no stealing anything, you didn't see anybody, you didn't go anywhere, you didn't do anything, all that. You were never here.   As they travel down, Grogery sees not a grungy dark shadowy area of sketchy folks that he has come to expect. Rather, it's a well-lit large area, almost like a warehouse. Stalls are arranged in neat aisles, people mulling around casually. They are even greeted by a tiefling who welcomes them to the Undermart. An odd place, indeed, to be doing shadowy business.   Dazki starts towards the information brokers. The others follow. He spots Alfalfa, the halfling broker who gave him information about Biali before, standing on her desk of various papers and forgeries. She seems to have a handle on bureaucracy and is usually deep into paperwork, so she ought to know a thing or two about this, and her information checked out before, so she's probably good for some more. They approach, and Alfalfa waves excitedly at them as soon as she sees.  

Dazki: Good evening, Alfalfa, it's a pleasure to see you again!   Alfalfa: Oh, it's ever so good to see you again! She turns to Kesmet Oh, and you too! She excitedly hops down off her desk to meet the new person, quickly darting all around Grogery to examine him. Oh, and who do we have here? Just look at this cute little puppy! Look at you, so well equipt, cute as a pigeon! Hey, what's your favorite color, little guy?   Grogery: Um... I'm not a dog. Yellow, I suppose? The name is Silver Galleon.   Alfalfa: Ohmigosh. So, like, your armor is so good, and what is this, like, mithril?   Grogery: Orichalcum.   Alfalfa, turning to Dazki: And just how did you meet this little cutie, ... Corvan, was it? I just have to know!   Dazki: We actually traveled into the city together. He was just otherwise occupied last time I came to speak with you.   Alfalfa, turning back to Grogery: So what does that make you, an honored guest? Bird of a feather? Tinkerer?   Grogery: A traveling companion, I suppose. A brother in arms, so to speak.   Dazki: Mmm... Grogery, your favorite color is white.   Grogery: Oh, OK...   Kesmet: What's the 'favorite color' thing?   Dazki: You know how The Hounds Guild would speak in various codes? You know, some things that wouldn't... make sense, occasionally   Kesmet: Yeah...   Dazki: It's like that.   Kesmet: Oh, of course. I totally know what you're talking about. I figured.   Dazki: I'm looking for information on a couple of important people and those that they associate with. Information on Baxton Mandrim and Annu Adabra in particular, but also a tall man and a short man that are seen together and associate with Baxton.   Alfalfa: Well, like, before we discuss business and stuff, I wouldn't want our little cull here to be bored! It's going to be so droll and boring.   Grogery has started to realize that a lot of this is probably code, so he has been hesitating to respond, in fear of saying the wrong thing.   Grogery: Er... if you think there's someplace that I would be more... at home... then...   Dazki: Oh, no, he certainly wouldn't be bored discussing this. He came here understanding entirely what we were looking for. You don't need to worry your head about it.   Alfalfa: OK, it's your funeral, y'know.   Dazki: Is it OK to speak out here, or should we go to a side room?   Alfalfa: I don't care, I don't have any skin in this game at all, y'know! We can just let the money and our mutual friendship do the talking, y'know! Hey, speaking of which, do you have any connections to any decent smugglers? I'm still short one!   Dazki: Unfortunately not, but we did find out what happened to your smuggler.   Alfalfa: Oh, I'm well aware... so now you're lookin' for information on the bloke, eh?   Dazki: Yep. He got mixed up in our business, or we got mixed up in his... somethin' like that.   Alfalfa: Well I can't just give you any old information, you have to request it, y'know?   Dazki, taking out 15 gold coins and opening his pouch enough to show that there's plenty more: First things first, we need information on the tall man and the short man that he associates with. Only one of them speaks, the other is a simulacrum.   Alfalfa: Oh, that's new information! A simulacrum?   Dazki: Yeah, just like all those Monks of Imagination in the city.   Alfalfa: Well, you're just full of juicy details, aren't ya?   Dazki: Yeah... so, you haven't heard any reports of him associating with people like that?   Alfalfa: Well, I know who you're talking about, of course. He's all the rage, y'know... in a lot of the smaller towns, although, he wanders around a lot. He doesn't have, like, a home base or anything like that.   Dazki: Really? He takes out some more gold. Has he been seen around here recently?   Alfalfa: Yeah, he's showed up here a few times! Well, not down here, of course.   Dazki: No, of course... in the city? Past few days, or anything?   Alfalfa: I know he's got the family all in a tizzy that he's nearer by than normal.   Dazki: Yeah, I spoke with the Queen of Hearts, and she was a bit concerned as well.   Alfalfa: I mean, he's just a wandering doctor, although I hear that his healing methods are a little... unusual.   Dazki: Do you know where he takes his appointments in the city?   Alfalfa: I don't think he takes any appointments in the city, he just kinda shows up in a small town, heals a bunch of people, and then moves on. Hard to track an individual like that. I mean, you could always follow in his footsteps, but you don't know where he's gonna go next, y'know!   Dazki: Yeah, but what he's doing is definitely not healing.   Alfalfa: Well, I mean, it's some kind of healing...   Dazki: OK, it's a kind of healing. It's a bit more... chaotic... than normal healing, if you catch my drift.   Alfalfa: I saw this guy, he had, like, one arm, and then, like, the next day... BAM! New arm! Brand new arm!   Dazki: Was he missing an eye afterwards, though?   Alfalfa: Nah, I don't think so! Normal... normal number of eyes! I mean, that's gotta be either some powerful magic or some really good doctoring!   Dazki: It's some powerful magic that he's getting from very... irregular... sources. I would certainly advise you and all of yours not to deal with this gentleman.   Alfalfa: Well, I mean, if he gives the family the heebie-jeebies, I really don't have much interest in going to him at all. I mean, unless he comes down here at my desk looking for information... gold can buy you pretty much anything!   Dazki: Fair point. In that case, he takes out another 15 gold what do you know about Baxton's plans for getting leadership of House of Crystal?   Alfalfa: Omigod, he's practically a shoe-in at this point. I mean, think about it. The only way you can get one of those things if if you're appointed by, like, the firelord himself, right? Well, the firelord, since he doesn't, like, do anything around here (he puts that stuff on the other four houses, right?), so, imagine if you're the firelord, and you've got, like, a bunch of other guys coming to you, like, this one guy, he's not doing his job, and now you're, like, an annoyed firelord, right? So then, like, as long as the other 3 houses are like, "this guy's gonna do a better job", like, then of course the firelord's gonna just, like, appoint the new guy!   Dazki: So... this might be an unusual question... has anyone seen the firelord in, you know, the past 10 years or so?   Alfalfa: Yeah, yeah, we see the firelord. He comes out for, like, celebrations and stuff, but I don't think he does any actual jobs. He pretty much just delegates everything to everybody else, you know? I mean, he does... nothing. It's pretty much all delegation. He just sits in his cool throne in his cool palace and he just lets everybody else do everything else for him. As long as the whole city doesn't go up in flames, I guess he's doin' his job right.   Dazki: Yeah, the problem is, the whole city's... pretty close to goin' up in flames. Kesmet interjects with a loud cough. No, not you, Matchstick.   Alfalfa: I mean, think about it, like, Annu's, like, really unpopular with everybody else right now, especially because Baxton's got 'em all, like, whipped up that, like, Baxton is, like, a good guy and with Annu, it's like, "oh, he's so spooky because he can't, like, have sympathies for other people and stuff", and then with Baxton, it's like, "oh, he could save puppies from burning buildings and stuff like that, and we couldn't love him more", and now that all three of the houses are with him too, there's just no way he doesn't get that job.   Dazki: Yeah, but... Baxton's not the good person that everybody thinks he is, which I'm sure you know.   Alfalfa: Well, sure, I know that and you know that, but it's politics. It's not really based on who's good and who's evil, it's based on who's the most popular.   Dazki: Yeah. So, who has proof that they can bring forward on some of the things he's done?   Alfalfa: Oh man, if anyone had something like that, it would definitely be worth a lot of money! I don't think I have any proof... I haven't really gone looking for it, though.   Dazki: And if I were to ask you to send your sources out for that? He takes out 50 gold pieces.   Alfalfa: Well, what are you looking for, though? Proof that he's a bad guy? Who's gonna believe you even if you had the proof? It would have to be pretty irrefutable.   Dazki: Something irrefutable and scandalous enough that he doesn't get that seat.   Alfalfa: I mean, you'd have to convince the other three houses, though! It would have to be pretty good... I mean, particularly the House of Steel. That's not gonna be easy. Those two have been pals for ages.   Grogery: You don't need all three, you just need two.   Alfalfa: Well, I mean, Annu is obviously gonna vote to stay in.   Kesmet: I'm a bit lost. Is there an election that happens, or something? I thought Annu has been there, like, forever.   Dazki: No, Annu was appointed. What she's saying is, the firelord doesn't really care what happened, so he just leaves it up to the heads of the other houses to decide if Annu should stay or not.   Kesmet: So nothing's going to trigger another appointment except if someone campaigns and says, "hey, let's have an election", or something, and then the other houses say, "all right, we vote for this guy". Is that it? The candidate has to initiate a vote or some sort of appointment?   Alfalfa: Yeah, now you're gettin' it! I mean, he's been wanting this position for ages, but, the problem is you kinda need a lot of people on your side in order to get that part, I mean, Annu's had that job for so long, you know, and it's not like that much ever goes wrong. He's incorruptible! That's a pretty good thing to have if you're a good guy looking for another politician.   Dazki: Yeah, but he's also inflexible.   Alfalfa: Who better to uphold rules than somebody who won't break 'em? Now, you and I both know that that's the worst option, but if you're looking at it from a lazy firelord's perspective, and you want to make sure everybody follows the rules, there's no reason you would even need to look into this guy! You know he's gonna follow the rules.   Dazki: Does he have any other known associates who might have opinions on his thoughts and deeds?   Alfalfa: Well, most of the people that he hangs out with are either high up in the politics, or they seem to mysteriously go missing.   Dazki: Yeah... "missing"... definitely. Speaking of missing persons (this one is tangentially related, we'll say), you know how Sol DeWork "disappeared" a day or so, right?   Alfalfa: Yeah, he went out on a fishing boat.   Dazki: Yeah... how long until that boat returns? Typically, of course.   Alfalfa takes one leap back on top of her desk and rifles through a big basket full of books and papers.   Alfalfa: That ship? I mean, it's usually only out there for a few days, it doesn't go that far out. It's not a deep sea trawler or some sort of merchant ship or anything.   Dazki: That's what I figured... I was just curious, because we have some stuff to get done before he comes back.   Alfalfa: Oh, I bet.   Dazki, taking out another 35 gold: Last thing... any ways into the House of Crystal or Steel that would be... less noticeable?   Alfalfa: Ooh... I mean, you do seem like the sneakin' type...   Dazki: I certainly like to avoid getting seen.   Alfalfa: Why do you want to be in the House of Crystal? You can usually just walk in the front door of that.   Dazki: Let's just say it's to my advantage if Annu and Baxton are fighting with each other.   Alfalfa: I mean, they're already against each other, you're not gonna make the problem worse.   Dazki: By evening up the score. Baxton definitely has the advantage right now, so just drop in a bit of ammunition that might help Annu and some things that he can actively go after.   Alfalfa: I thought you wanted to get a bunch of stuff done before that Sol fella comes back, right? You need to move faster than politics for that, my dude.   Dazki: The rumor wheel moves very fast, so just starting a rumor that something might be happening would make everyone else move faster, they're more likely to make mistakes the quicker they move, you know how it is. Get people careless.   Alfalfa: I don't think there's any way into the building sneakily. You can usually just go through the front, though.   Dazki: OK, and it's typically fireguard through the front?   Alfalfa: There's a bunch of fireguard through there and a bunch of cool magic stuff. It's so cool! There's this cool little, like, illusion hologram lady, and she, like, tells you where, like, all the stuff is. It's the easiest place to get in ever.   Dazki: Well, thank you! Silver Galleon, do you have anything that you think would be useful to ask?   Grogery: Do you know if anybody else in the past few years has looked like they're going to make a play for the House of Crystal?   Alfalfa: Baxton does this stuff all the time, it's just, usually, he's not gotten that much ground. I mean, he's made so much progress in such a short amount of time. It's frankly quite impressive.   Grogery: What seems to be different this time, though?   Alfalfa: He's accomplishing things that he usually can't do on his own. Usually he's either stealing my smugglers or, like, hiring thieves and stuff, but now it seems like he's got some sort of connections that get everything done way faster!   Dazki: Yeah... the traveling doctor is his connection.   Alfalfa: Oh God no!   Dazki: Of course it is! It's got to be the stuff he got from the traveling doctor.   Alfalfa: It's not.   Dazki: Why do you say that?   Alfalfa, pausing for a beat: Think of all the stuff that's just happened recently. I mean, he got rid of those nasty cultists that he was trying to get rid of, then he sabotaged Annu's fun little caravan, and that made Annu so mad that it was so easy for Baxton to then, like, get the common folks on his side because Annu was getting so paranoid and short-tempered, you know? Annu was sitting here, like, blowing up libraries, arresting high priests... I think that was the final straw, like, I can't believe he would just go out there all by himself without any provocation! She gives a big wink.   Dazki: Oh. Well, you know, Annu... he follows the rules to a tee. Maybe he had some information that something was there that shouldn't have been. You know, he's... a very suspicious and a very paranoid man, as you said.   Alfalfa: I'm just saying, I think Baxton found an angle and he just really went for it.   Dazki: I think you're right.   Alfalfa: He's been into this deeper and darker stuff for a while, now, but he usually just keeps that close, puts on a friendly face. Well... what's left of his face.   Dazki: Thank you very much for the information.   Alfalfa: I'm pretty much always here, so...   Dazki: Matchstick, did you have any questions about your friends?   Alfalfa: Ooh, yeah, how are ya doin' with the, uh, hound fellas? You're still part of that gang? ...no, you're not anymore, now the gang's mad at you. I remember, you were pretty paranoid about 'em the last time you came down here.   Kesmet: You know what they say. The only difference between paranoia and wisdom is experience.   Alfalfa: Well, I'll say, you've certainly increased the price of certain illegal substances down here, that's for sure.   Kesmet: What do you mean?   Dazki: The dust, Matchstick. The dust.   Kesmet: Oh. Yeah.   Alfalfa: Yeah, we have a few dealers down here who would probably want to shake your hand, at this point. They've never done better!   Kesmet: You think that, along with that handshake, they might pass along a piece of paper with information about the whereabouts of a single certain... individual?   Alfalfa: You still lookin' for the big guy?   Kesmet, squinting his eyes trying to figure out if she's joking: ...yes. The big guy.   Alfalfa: Well you're still gonna have to do a lot more to get the attention of somebody that high up. I mean, we fuck with their caravans all the time, and he's never come after us personally.   Kesmet: Are we still talking about the same person? Sorry, I've had a rough morning, and the whole doublespeak thing is not working for me.   Grogery: Oh man, last I heard, Oskar LaVista was hanging around Matchstick's past acquaintances.   Alfalfa: Oh yeah, that was funny, I heard of that. That guy's whole life is basically a comic strip.   Grogery: That was a while ago, I wonder what could have happened with that? 15 gold pieces on the table.   Alfalfa: It's a great story. So, now, keep in mind this is all second- or third-hand... the story goes, like, he was like, "we gotta go into the underworld so we can root out the corruption in the overworld", and then he's like, "well, the only people I know that used to run this city is the Hounds Guild", so, like he doesn't know that the Hounds Guild doesn't run this city anymore, old guys are so cute sometimes.   Alfalfa (cont'd): Anyways, so, like, he put on this super cool disguise and stuff, and then he's like, "I'm gonna infiltrate the guild and I'm gonna work my way all the way up, and I'm gonna sort out the corruption!" But it turns out he's really bad at dealing drugs, so, um... eventually, you know that cute little emo kid? Yeah, he just, like, fucked up three dudes and, like, apparently they're just fine now. I know it's not as good an ending, but... it was funny in the meantime.   Kesmet: Hilarious. Where did he try to infiltrate them? How far did he get?   Alfalfa: Not very far before the emo guy got 'im.   Kesmet then pushes some papers out of the way on her desk and gets up to stand on her desk with her. He squats down, getting as close as possible to her face. Looking her dead in the eye, he takes out 100 gold. He's prepared to part with it, but he holds onto it until he hears what she has to say.   Kesmet: Plain and simple. Where. Is. Dennis? His longitude and latitude. His elevation from sea level, if you have it. What he had for breakfast would be nice.   Alfalfa, taken somewhat aback: ...wow. Um... you're very... forward!   Kesmet: Like I said, rough morning. The doublespeak thing isn't for me.   Alfalfa: Look. It's not like he's here right now, OK? It's, like... he's not even in the country yet, he's still on the boat!   Kesmet: Huh?   Alfalfa: OK... let me back up a little bit. So, like, there's a thing with the family. The Hounds Guild used to own this spot. Then the family existed, now there's the House of Cards. Right? And now the House of Cards owns, like, a vast majority of this whole area, and they kicked a lot of the Hounds Guild out, and they're just whelps now, right? They just cling onto this petty little existence over here, and they do, like, a lot of their other work in, like, other countries. However, that doesn't mean that they're totally cool with this new arrangement.   Alfalfa (cont'd): Deals are constantly being made, and I do foresee there will be a big deal at some point soon, but the boss man... he's a very cautious individual. Something has really shaken him. Right now, he's on a boat. He's traveling, you see.   Kesmet: To the city?   Alfalfa: There's no way he was going to travel here! I mean, the head of the House of Cards lives here, that would be ridiculous! It would be social, political, and physical suicide! He's meeting in a different location with... something else. The reason why I don't want to bring it up so readily is because, uh, this is information I kinda know and the family doesn't, so...   Kesmet: Is "the boat" code? A metaphor? Or is it just literally a boat?   Alfalfa: No, don't worry, I speak straight with you.   Kesmet: Do you know where he's going?   Alfalfa: There's a little island. It's an old part of the Waterscar, but it borders the waters to Exignis here. A bunch of people left on boats to go secure the area, that's why the Hounds Guild pressure is particularly low right now. Well, he's certainly going to one of the islands there first, but he's going to have to eventually break land. Islands and stuff are safe, and all that, but you don't really make progress staying safe the whole time, you know? Especially if somebody keeps killing all the other people that he's relying on to do the job over here. He's gonna eventually have to move inland.   Kesmet, squinting further: So what you're saying is, if there was some external force that causes resources to be depleted, then he himself might have to come in, despite the dangers to him that are in the city?   Alfalfa: Well, once again, it would be awfully difficult for him to get into the city, but, I mean... there's a lot of other parts of the country and the coastland, pretty much anywhere! Think about it from his perspective, if, like, all of his income here, like, kinda goes away, then he's gonna have to eventually solve that problem. I mean, what's he gonna do, just let the House of Cards just win everything? I mean, he's not that kind of guy! If anybody slights the head of the Hounds Guild, he kinda makes it his mission to wreck that dude's life and anything he owns, right? So eventually he's gonna have to try to make a move somehow.   Kesmet, becoming visibly enraged: So... he's heading towards these islands, and he might be... persuaded... to come back inland. Thank you. You've been... most illuminating. He gives her the full 100 gold.   Alfalfa: I think you guys are going to quickly become some of my favorite customers.   Kesmet carefully hops off of her desk.   Dazki: Well, if you keep having good information for us, then you'll quickly become our favorite information broker.   Kesmet: Just curious, because I'm not super familiar with the game yet... what is the significance of standing on the desk? It's rather uncomfortable, squatting down like that.   Alfalfa: I have a hard time seeing everybody, and, uh, my chair's not as good. It kinda wobbles a bit. It's just a thing I've done.   Kesmet: Oh. So I didn't need to. Oh, I'm sorry.   Alfalfa: No, I mean... it's quite all right for... you know... if that's how you get your rocks off, I mean... frankly, I've dealt with worse men.   Kesmet: No, I... I thought it was a thing! I thought it was a thing!   Alfalfa: Well, some people like to be dominant, so it's fine. As long as I get my gold, I really don't care.   Kesmet: Ugh, now people are going to be spreading that about me, that I like to stand on desks... wait, that's right! One last question. We ran into a couple of people that work for Dennis. They had some weird rumors about me. Have you heard anything about that, like, why those are spreading?   Alfalfa: What, that you cooked your whole family in a blazing inferno? That your name's actually The Baker and not... Matchstick? And that you fly into a murderous rage and you kill everybody in sight? I haven't heard any of these rumors!   Kesmet: I was expecting at least one of them to be at least close to true! ...that my actual name is "The Baker"? Who the hell is named "The Baker"?   Alfalfa: Well, I mean, I think it's a really clever name! Because, like, you, like, bake people?   Kesmet: I've done nothing of the sort!   Alfalfa: I know for a fact that you've at least baked some people... I mean, I don't know if the rumors are true that you baked your whole family, and that you've baked anybody that goes against you, but I know you've baked some people.   Kesmet, grabbing Alfalfa and screaming at her: I did not hurt my family!   Dazki, moving to get between the two of them: All right, Matchstick. I think we need to take a deep breath, thank Alfalfa for her help, and go take care of some other things.   Grogery: That Dennis feels the need to spread such outrageous rumors just shows how much he actually hates you.   Alfalfa: Well it certainly does a good job of spreading fear and hatred. I mean, nobody wants to really murder just a normal baker. I mean, I see a lot less hatred from even the drug pushers!   Kesmet: I mean... that's not... even... ever... a code name that I ever used!   Dazki: It's fine, Matchstick. It's fine.   Alfalfa: I didn't say you did it, you just asked for rumors, you know? You just wanted to know what the rumors were! You didn't need to get all hotheaded about it...   Kesmet: That's not funny!   Dazki: It's kinda funny.   Kesmet: We're discussing the untimely and horrible demise of my family. There's nothing about the situation I find humorous.   Alfalfa: He's got a point there. They did die in the fire, then?   Kesmet: Well, not as serious, but still quite egregious.   Alfalfa: It's still an update to my information... I strive for accuracy.   Kesmet, giving her 15 more gold for telling him about the rumors: Well, I know those rumors are prolific now. At least in the Hounds Guild.   Alfalfa: Oh yeah, gosh, you're practically infamous, and it makes you really easy to track.   Kesmet: How's that?   Alfalfa: If everybody in the Hounds Guild is so worried about running into somebody that burns people to death, and then a bunch of people show up burned to death, they're going to tell everybody else where you are. Just out of sheer fear.   Kesmet: Oh joy.   Dazki: Well, thank you very much for your assistance.   Alfalfa: Are you sure there's nothing I can do for your little fella here?   Grogery: It's some information that might be a little outside your circle, perhaps... but I can give it a shot. So... there is an address in The Spire of Beasts that I'm trying to find... but, of course, addresses in that place come and go, things fall down, new things get put up...   Alfalfa: I thought you were a goblin from out of town?   Grogery: Oh, I am, but I was given this address to find and deliver something to.   Alfalfa: Oh yeah?   Grogery: There are reasons to believe in its veracity, there are reasons to believe that this was all a wild goose chase, but I would like to put that to rest if I could. If you could figure out where this is for me (he gives her the address), I would be (he puts 50 gold on the table) very appreciative.   Alfalfa hops off of her desk and goes into a drawer on the side of it, flinging it open and rifling through a bunch of loose papers and parchment. She eventually pulls out a large, older map of the city that has gone yellow from age, sections have been loosely repaired.   Alfalfa: See? Right there! I knew I recognized it from somewhere! Alfalfa points at the exact middle of the map. It's not a house address, it's a room number!   Grogery: Oh, a room number? In the Spire itself?   Alfalfa: Well, back when it had room numbers, it wasn't really a spire. It's odd. The room is almost exactly in the middle... why would you need to be in the middle of the spire? It doesn't really exist anymore, it's mostly just a shanty town. You've got some really old news here, I'm sorry to say, a place like that probably doesn't even exist anymore.   Grogery: Hmm... I can look into that.   Alfalfa: Whoever gave you this address, they must not know how things changed. Numbers don't really stick around forever, everything's always changing all the time.   Grogery: How old would this be?   Alfalfa: This map here? I think it's close to... at least a century.   Grogery: So that building hasn't really had tenants, so to speak, for...   Alfalfa: Well it wasn't the Spire of Beasts back then. That's where the old firelord used to live.   Grogery: So that's at least a hundred years since then, and since the firelord moved to his current residence.   Alfalfa: Well, I mean, he didn't move. It's the new firelord... oh, I forget, you're out of town, aren't you? About 80 years ago, there was a change of firelords. The new firelord didn't really like the digs that the old firelord had, so he built his own one just over there. Bigger, fancier. Classic firelords. New firelord, old firelord. Well, the old one met with an unfortunate end, but... that's neither here nor there. The point is, the information you're looking for is... bam, right there. Right in the middle. Doesn't exist, so, uh... good luck on the quest.   Dazki: Well, that'll be it for us, I think.   Alfalfa: Please, do bring many more well equipt friends!   Dazki: Absolutely! I tend to keep that kind of company.

 

Back at Home

While those three are at the Undermart, Dwardazik has been busy fortifying the house. First, he installs the front gate. He originally intends to fortify it, but once it's up, it's clear that it doesn't need any. It's a combination of Dwarven and Human design, the best of both worlds. He moves on to make a barricaded chokepoint in front of the front door out of dirt-filled boxes.   Before he can finish cleaning up all the dirt from his project, Dwardazik spots the rest of the party in the distance. He grabs the keys for the gate and rushes out to greet them all.  

Dwardazik: Oi, what do ye think of the gate, eh?   Dazki: I think you did a pretty damn good job!   Dwardazik unlocks it and distributes the keys to everyone, including Barry. They all move inside the front door, where he proudly shows off his second bit of handiwork.   Dwardazik, tapping a box: Ain't no lads gonna be gettin' into here without a fight! So, did ye learn anything interesting?   Dazki: Yeah, we got some stuff. Not everything I would have liked, but enough to be helpful.   Dwardazik: Regardless, why don't we have something to eat? I am thirsty and hungry! You can tell me all about the things you've discovered!

  Grogery casts the spell to create food and water for the party, and they prepare to eat on some boxes throughout the unfinished house. When Barry comes in:  

Barry: Hey, did you guys save the whole world yet?   Dazki: No, not yet. Saving the world is a lot harder than we thought. Takes a lot of time, just like fighting all the bears.   Barry: Oh gosh, I know, right? So many, all the time, as soon as you leave!   Dwardazik: Do ya ever think that maybe we should try and... not... save the world? And maybe just save ourselves? You know, start with the basics and move on from there?   Dazki: Every day.

  The three share with the rest of the party what they learned from Alfalfa.  

Dwardazik: So, based on what you've told me, we've got some issues with the four houses. Are going to try and manipulate them to assist us, or are we going to just go straight to Baxton or Annu? What's our angle, here?   Grogery: If we're going to go for one of the houses, then we need to go to at least two, since that's how we would stop Baxton from taking over the House of Crystal.   Barry: Yeah, I mean, they keep sayin' how Annu existed for a long time, right? And it didn't explode then, so maybe it won't explode now.   Dazki: Another option to reinforce their favor... not one that I particularly like... but we could bring the box to Annu?   Dwardazik: Wasn't it us who stole it from Annu?   Barry: Yeah, wait, no, I think this just immediately gets us all arrested. Can I just stay home for that adventure?   Dazki: Yeah... it does immediately get us all arrested.   Dwardazik: Yeah, I'm with Barry on this one.   Kesmet: What if we bring the box to... someplace... and then simply inform him of where it is?   Dwardazik: Did we not already bring the box to... someplace?   Kesmet: Someplace that we don't actually give a shit about. I don't know about you, but I've grown somewhat attached to our dragon friend that we've found. He was very interested in the story that we told him about our life.   Dwardazik: Excuse me, but do ya really think you can just take the box away from the dragon that we set guarding it?   Dazki: Fair point. Forget the box.   Dwardazik: Why do we even want the box now? What in the world was that going to help us with? I thought we had to either get rid of Annu, Baxton, or both, or neither?   Grogery: Well, Baxton hired us to take this from Annu to make him look bad, so if we go, "here's the box"... I don't know.   Dwardazik: I don't think playing tattle-dwarf is really going to help, but that's just my observation. I guess we could use it as evidence, but... do you really want to?   Grogery: Isaiah is an eyewitness.   Dazki: Isaiah doesn't want to get involved, and I don't think he 100% believes us anyway. He believes that we believe what we said.   Grogery: Yeah, he knows we're not lying, but he won't overturn all his history with Baxton on the say-so of five out-of-towners.   Barry: Wait, so, he's going to, like, do really bad stuff if he gets into office?   Dazki: Baxton? Yeah, absolutely.   Grogery: OK, so the House of Steel is pretty much in Baxton's pocket. The House of Stone is getting there, with what happened to Sol. But the House of Gold is sorta half-in / half-out? We might be able to make some progress there.   Dazki: Hm. Dwardazik, do you mind if I take a blank sheet of paper out of your journal? Dwardazik gives him a piece. So I'm going to copy down my conspiracy web that I still have, update it to mark Sol as corrupted, and try to get it to Annu. Preferably, without getting arrested in the process. If we got this to Annu, then I think he would at least partially believe us.   Grogery: And he would probably take action on the findings.   Kesmet: He's got to have, like, a tip box, right? What if we tie it to an arrow and shoot it into his bedroom?   Dazki: I don't think he sleeps...   Kesmet: What if we tie it to an arrow and shoot it... somewhere close to him, and then run away?   Dazki: I'd prefer to go with a plan that involves less shooting, just in case it gets misconstrued.   Kesmet: What if we tie it to a rock and throw it close to him?   Barry: Can't you just go... like... mail it?   Grogery: How fast is the mail in this city?   Barry: I mean, it's run by gnomes? They're pretty quick. They have to be... I don't think they live long?   Dazki: They can actually live quite a long time. Gnomes live almost 500 years on average...   Barry: Oh, so they do live long. But, not as long as us, right? ...right?   Dazki: We're getting ourselves into some troubles, so... we might not end up living as long as that.   Barry: Do you think my lifespan is lower now that I'm part fish? How long do fish live?   Grogery: I guess it would depend on the fish. If it's, like, a really big fish, then it probably lives longer.   Barry: ...can we go to the library?   Dazki: Unfortunately, the library is still... pretty damaged.   Grogery: Still at least a little bit... blown up.   Barry: Ahh shit, right.   Dazki: That was a very good idea, though, Barry, we could mail it to him! We'll just have to get a carriage to the nearest post office, first thing tomorrow morning.   Grogery: So. Baxton was led into the palace grounds the last we saw him. He is probably still there?   Barry: What, is he gonna just, like, sleep there? Wait... can you sleep there? WAIT, where do all the politicians go when they're not being politicians?   Grogery: They probably have... does Baxton, like, have a house?   Dazki: I'm sure he does. Realistically, he's probably at the Red Lady right now, which... I was considering heading over there.   Grogery: Why would you be considering heading over there?   Dazki: To see if I can't talk any more information out of him.   Barry: I... we... I thought we were supposed to be saving the world from this guy! If you go over and talk to him, then what if he, like, mind puppets you again?   Dazki: That's why I have not already done it.   Grogery: Besides, it feels like a lot of the ground that Baxton has been able to make in the past few weeks has been indirectly caused by us, so I'm not inclined to want to give him further information by interacting with him.   Barry: Wait... if he's there... why don't we just go, like, murder him? Well... you guys. I can stay here.   Grogery: I'm not 100% sure if we could take him?   Dwardazik: Are you sayin' I couldn't break that twig in half? As long as he didn't get the jump on me with his mind... breaking... stuff.   Grogery: Exactly! All he needs is one good spell on one of us and then we're fighting each other.   Dwardazik: Well, I could take ya.   Grogery: You've already swung your axe at me a few times, so I know I can take you.   Dazki: But here's the thing. He takes control of one of us, gets us to stop that one, then OK fine... he'll take control of the next one, until there's none of us left.   Grogery: Plus, he doesn't even need to end us. He just needs to cause enough of a diversion to get away and then say, "look, Annu sent these mercenaries after me! this is dire, we need to get rid of him immediately!"   Barry: WAIT, YEAH, he just, like... poofs away! Guys. He just poofs away!   Dazki: Fair point, heading there is not the best idea. Oh, and by the way... Grogery, calling you "little puppy" just meant you were one of the small races and a goblin or something like that.   Kesmet: Oh, what did the "favorite color" thing mean?   Dazki: White = an actual cleric / paladin, Grey = imposter, Black = black guard.   Grogery: Good to know...   Dazki: A "well equipt cute pigeon" meant you were rich, and you looked like you might be easy to steal from.   Grogery: Well, I did get stolen from by a kobold, like, one of the first days we were here.   Dazki: When they called you a "cull" and that they were worried about you getting "bored", they were saying that you were an honest man, and that you were a risk. Again, all of this is context-dependent. The words could be different later.   Dwardazik: I dunno, all that seems a little unnecessary. Why don't you just say what ya mean?   Grogery: What if you don't want other people to know what you're saying?   Dwardazik: Then don't speak around those people.   Grogery: What if you need to speak around 'em?   Dwardazik: Then speak what you mean anyway, and if they don't like it, then use your fists!   Dazki: Some of us aren't as... equipped... as you are. We can't use our fists in every situation.   Dwardazik: It's not like I wanna use 'em, it's just that if somebody's gonna give me lip for something when I'm trying to talk with someone else... I dunno. I understand your need for secrecy, but I don't like it. Whole bunch of twisting words.   Dazki: I can't argue with that one. So. In the morning, we send a letter, and then... I don't know?   Grogery: I still think it could be good to try investigating the House of Gold and see if there's any headway that could be made there. House of Steel is probably a lost cause. The House of Stone, we tried, and Aldrick likes us, but he doesn't exactly trust us, so... process of elimination... if the House of Gold and House of Crystal can say no to Baxton, then they can at least stall the process a little and give us more time to either figure out what the heck is going on in the House of Steel or get Aldrick more in our corner.   Barry: Yeah, but how do you stop him from poofing away, and how long do fish live??? Am I gonna die soon???   Dazki: No...   Barry: HOW DO YOU KNOW???   Dwardazik: I guess I'm not really sure. Actually, a better question... fish usually taste pretty good. Do you taste really good?   Grogery: Some fish are poisonous.   Barry: Yeah, you don't want to eat me. I'm terribly poisonous.   Dwardazik: You need to be careful. Someone might find you and see that you're delicious.   Kesmet: Barry... you could drop dead tomorrow from old age, or you could be immortal for all I know. So, plan like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow. Except if you're seeking revenge. Then you have to just accept that you might die at any day.   Grogery: You know how Muckwater had those fish that they harvested the scales off of? Apparently, those are really slow growing, so probably a pretty long time.   Barry: But... are they poisonous?   Grogery: I don't think they are...   Kesmet: We should definitely test whether or not they are.   Grogery: I'm not going to eat a party member!   Barry: Yeah! We're not going to eat a party member!   Dwardazik: I dunno, I'm feelin' kinda hungry, aren't you?   Barry: How are we going to stop the bad guy from poofing away? How about getting off of the idea about eating me, and moving onto the concept at hand?   Grogery: Hmm. With that poofing-away spell, you only have a limited number, don't you, Kesmet?   Kesmet: Very low number.   Grogery: Baxton's number is probably higher, but if we catch him at a time where he's expended all of that energy, then he might not have the ability to poof away...   Barry: If I could poof away, then I'd always save my energy for poofing away. That shit sounds cool.   Kesmet: It kind of is. If we find out that you are poisonous, well, feeding something poisonous to someone who can poof away makes it much harder for them to poof away. So. If you want to help us keep him from poofing away, then we need to find out whether or not you are poisonous, and there is only one way...   Barry: I have an idea! Do you have a vial? Dazki hands him an empty potion vial, and then Barry hocks the biggest loogie anybody has ever seen into it. You're a cleric, right? If I am poisonous, then we now have poison, boys!   Grogery: This would be an... interesting... poison.   Dazki: No, if you're venomous, then now we have venom.   Kesmet: Wouldn't the non-secreting parts of his body be considered poisonous?   Barry: I'M SO CONFUSED!   Grogery: The same things that will hurt you by getting stuck directly into your body... your stomach is really good at breaking stuff apart, so your stomach might be able to break it apart.   Kesmet: So. One of us bites Barry, and if that person gets sick, then that means Barry is poisonous. Barry then bites a different person, so that we're not mixing experiments, and if that different person becomes sick, then that means Barry is venomous. If they both become sick, then that means he's both poisonous and venomous.   Dazki: What if I bite him, and then you become sick?   Kesmet: That would be witchcraft.   Barry: That would be very good to know, though.   Kesmet: OK, so we need somebody to volunteer to bite Barry, and somebody to volunteer to be bitten by Barry.   Barry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!   Kesmet: Barry, we can accomplish both at the same time! You hold out your arm, gnash your teeth, then someone else holds out their arm, and it's just like a three-person...   Barry: What if I'm the one who gets sick?   Grogery: Actually, the same spell that lets me detect poisons lets me detect poisonous creatures.   Kesmet: Barry. You're not going to get sick, because I'm quite sure that our races, which are not fish, aren't either poisonous or venomous.   Barry: But how do you knoooooooow??? I think everybody should bite everybody else in, like, a circle.   Grogery: That's how diseases spread. Also, Kesmet probably has problems with people biting him.   Kesmet: And if we do that, we won't have any control in the experiment. Barry, don't worry. I'm pretty sure that none of our races (except for you, because you're a fish person) are poisonous. Venomous, I don't think so either. I don't see any fangs or any method to deliver the venom. But I'm pretty confident that poisonous is right out.   Barry: OK, but how do we stop the bad guy from poofing away?   Kesmet: Well, that's simple! We need to figure out if you bite him, or if we need to feed a piece of you to him.   Dazki: No. We need to get him into a situation where poofing away would be disadvantageous for him.   Kesmet: I suppose... that's a little vague.   Grogery: Push him into a situation where he's unwilling to.   Dazki: Or stop magic from working in an area.   Grogery: That's extremely powerful stuff.   Dwardazik: I don't even know how we would do that.   Dazki: All I know is, it can be done. I don't know how to do it, though. So probably put him in a situation where he's unwilling to poof away.   Dwardazik: So we have to make it seem like he can win, even though we have the upper hand?   Dazki: Or at least make it so that if he leaves, he will lose.   Grogery: Try to engineer a situation where he loses either way? Hmm. Just a question, has anyone seen him cast with subtle spell? We've definitely seen him casting magic in a public space, but if we manacle him...   Dwardazik: That's a good point.   Dazki: It does stop most spellcasters.   Grogery: So if we can get his staff away from him, then that locks down a lot of things.   Dwardazik: If I'm close enough, I might be able to disarm him.   Dazki: I'm a pretty decent pickpocket, so that might help...   Kesmet: How do you pickpocket an entire staff?   Dazki: I mean, I'm not saying that I'll necessarily pickpocket it, just that I'm skilled at... getting people to part with their belongings.   Kesmet: Well, when I poof away, I don't need to use my focus, it's just verbal.   Grogery: Oh, well, Silence would take care of that. It's a limited range, though, so he would just need to leave that area and then he would be free to do it.   Kesmet: So we would just need to trap him in an area and make it silent.   Dazki: Yeah, pretty much. Also, I don't think he casts magic the same way you do, Kesmet.   Kesmet: ?   Dazki: I think he's... from what I've gathered from how he talks, I think he's made a deal with some other entity to provide him with his magic.   Barry: Like a cleric?   Dazki: Maybe, kind-of. Maybe not necessarily something... divine.   Dwardazik: Are you telling me he gets his powers from some kind of... other?   Dazki: I think he's getting his powers directly from the Turmoil.   Dwardazik: Ugh. Why am I not surprised.

  Before night, the party splits off to do some tasks.   Dazki spends more time reading his evil book. He finishes reading all the words, but nothing makes sense. He's going to have to go back over that section all over again before anything will click. Then he goes back to trying to figure out how the house's electricity works. The wires seem to carry the energy into the bulbs, OK... when the energy is released into the bulbs, it creates light. OK. But the real question: where do the wires get all the energy from? There seems to be some sort of a routing situation where all the wires converge on the outside of the building, on a little post that sticks up about a foot above the ground. A lot of wires go there, and then disappear underground. He can't see where the energy comes from, but it's fascinating. Dazki makes a note to buy a lock for it, very soon in the future.   Dwardazik is going to try to get things working in the kitchen. He wants to get the stove and plumbing to work. It's been a long day, so he can only get those things that are already in place, but he does manage to work out how it works. Water can come out of the spout now, and the stove seems to work now.   Grogery is going to try to assemble the table. He puts it all together, and... it definitely looks like a table! There are some extra beams left over, not sure why. It... seems OK! They probably just left a couple extras, just in case.   Kesmet is going to find an isolated corner of the house and practice impersonating voices. He got the voices of Lizardtamer and Oskar LaVista down, so he will be able to perfectly impersonate them in the future. He's somewhat better with Baxton, and he can probably fool most people with it, but someone who frequently interacts with Baxton will probably not be fooled over a long conversation. The voice in his head is different from the voice that Baxton uses in person, which is throwing him off.