Tale of Lost Love
The misty vodka bottle, an ancient relic from a bygone era, washed ashore on the sandy beach along the Wildflower Meadows, carried by the relentless tides of the Death Wave Sea. Its delicate glass bore weathered marks, a testament to its long and tumultuous journey through treacherous waters. The once clear glass now held a faint green hue, as if imbued with the spirit of the sea itself. As fate would have it, the bottle settled upon the shore just as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, casting a fiery glow that beckoned passersby to uncover its secrets.
A keen-eyed wanderer, drawn by the bottle's ethereal allure, stumbled upon the aged relic during a solitary walk along the Wildflower Meadows. Curiosity piqued, they held the misty vessel in their hands, feeling the weight of forgotten history. Recognizing the significance of their discovery, the wanderer brought the treasure to Miba Pirus, a shamanistic cultural city renowned for its reverence for ancient artifacts and mystical relics. The trinket store's proprietor, an enigmatic shaman, instantly recognized the bottle's significance and realized that the symbols etched upon its surface told a tale of lost love, pirate kings, and the fabled Scarlet Tide.
Now displayed as a long-lost relic in the trinket store, the misty vodka bottle captivates the hearts of those who lay eyes upon it. Tourists and locals alike marvel at its enchanting aura, wondering about the hands that once held it and the love that lingered within its fragile walls. As whispers of its origins spread like a soft breeze, the misty vodka bottle becomes a cherished piece of history, embodying the legends of the Death Wave Sea and the enduring love between Samuel "Ironheart" Rodriguez and Adira "The Crimson" Blackwood.
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Vellum / Skin
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Signatories (Organizations)
I thought this was super sweet, and I really enjoy your style of writing. Very poetic and beautiful, but not overly so. However, this section in the letter, "It was a burden, my love, to give them up to the orphanage, but the threats to our family's life and prosperity weighed heavily upon us. We could not risk their safety, and so we made a sacrifice that haunts me still. But know this, my love, every moment away from them is a shard of my soul drifting in the abyss." Those first two sentences feel very much forced. Since the wife clearly knows this ("we made a sacrifice" implying she was in on the decision), it feels weird to be telling her that. Since that's obviously for the readers sake it kind of pulls me out of it a little. I think it would be better if it was maybe rephrased or just cut entirely and something else about their kids was placed there. Maybe how he thinks of them everyday, and that he doesn't regret that decision because he believes it was the right thing to do. This could add one mystery and intrigue to what he and his wife did with their children. Another thing was the description of the children Samuel gives Adira. And it makes me wonder if she's ever met her kids, but I know that she has. There's nothing wrong with describing their personalities, but maybe if you tweaked the wording slightly it would make it seem less like he's telling a stranger about his kids. Something along the lines of "With your fierce spirit and my unwavering determination, they will be just fine. Theron with your fiery nature and Lyra with my spark of heart, I know we'll be together again." Or something like that. Just so it feels more like he's comforting her than telling her about their kids. But other than those two little things I really liked this article. I loved the poetic like prose with the repetition of the "misty vodka bottle", and the wonderful description of the glass bottle. I like that we can see how much Samuel loves his wife, and how it seems he's willing to do almost anything to be together with his family. And overall very nicely written. Good job!
Thank you! It's also to be a device for my players to know the character's depth of emotion in a time where they are confessing their flaws and love one last time as he wasn't sure he was going to get out of the Death Wave Sea Alive. When I go back to fully clean these up before this campaign starts, I will reread your thoughts on this and see if it is truly how I want this character to be portrayed as.