Every year, the members of the many churches in Acropolis join together to celebrate their gods as one group in an event known as The Church Picnic. There are games, prayers, and festivities for all the members and their families to enjoy, and every year, a church gets to take home the ultimate prize: the Blessing of the Queen. The Blessing of the Queen is both endorsement by the royal family themselves for the year and The Royal Book of Exalted Deeds. The Royal Book of Exalted Deeds is the prize jewel of whatever church gets possession of it for the year and has been proven time and again to return to the Queen’s vault after its use by the church that wins it at the picnic. Each church picks a primary and secondary representative to represent them in the trials ahead, and only one church may find themselves the holder of the book.
PCs of "Oops! All Clerics"
NPCs: Oops! All Clerics NPCs
Synopsis
Rules for the Festival
- The use of magic is not permitted throughout the competition for the Queen’s Blessing. However, it’s not regulated aside from a referee, so there is potential for cheating to occur. In order to cheat by using magic, the clerics who have been asked to be representatives of their churches can make a deception roll against the referee and their opponent’s insight in order to cheat. In order to cheat otherwise, it’ll be up to the DM to determine what kind of roll needs to be made.
- The games are chosen randomly by crowd’s favorite, so after initial introductions (where a performance check will be needed), the participants choose the game that will be played by picking a piece of paper out of a glass sphere. Mechanically, the DM will have you roll a die to determine what game is played, and the order will descend from those with the highest performance check.
- Each year, the games are different and as such, there’s no telling what sort of games will be present this year at the Festival.
- If you want to have a private conversation conspiring with each other during the 10-15 min between each games’ setup and take down, let me know and we’ll pop into another voice channel while that’s happening. Feel free to DM me for anything you want to ask without others knowing.
- More rules will be added as necessary (and upon questions).
Before the Event
Everyone has come to the fairgrounds outside of the city of Acropolis where large festivities such as today’s Church Picnic occur. In fact, so few of the party have ever seen the fairgrounds
not populated with hundreds of people and food stalls and game stalls. Panning through the bustling crowds of people, the center of the festivities is where a stage has been set up for the main event. Crowds have begun to gather around the stage as the clock ticks closer to the start of the competition.
The competitors have a little bit of time before the games begin as they stand in a curtained waiting area at the bottom of the stairs to the stage. Fern has made gifts for the other competitors before the event, and he runs around to give everyone a metal flowers. Corda gives his to Vinia, and Zebulon gives his to his sentient plant Mary before sending her off to go get pork sandwiches from his wife Effie's pork stand across the way.
Sanctity, Truthhammer, and Lainey stand on the stage, all members of the Church of Hecate in some way. There's acolytes running around and putting finishing touches on the stages. Sanctity is the High Priestess of the Church of Hecate, a tiefling woman with eyes that have multiple pupils and no iris. She has long, straight black hair that falls down her back and her horns curl precariously upward for about 2 feet (think like a kudu). The goliath man, Truthhammer, is beefy and watching intently over the people scurrying around him. Lainey is a very nervous looking human acolyte of Hecate who will act as a stand-in when necessary in the event to come. As they stand around the podium at the stage where a glass bowl sits atop with slips of paper in it, the curtains part and the festivities begin.
Introduction Performances
Sanctity introduces herself to the crowd, indicating that it is the 26th Annual Church Picnic. There's some lore dropping about the Church of Hecate being endorsed by Queen Everly Lavandin and the royal family. The year is 228 AL and the competition to determine which church receives the Blessing of the Queen this year will soon by underway. Then, she introduces each of the contestants.
Corda and Vinia, representing the Church of Azuth, go first. Corda uses thaumaturgy to make Vinia's footsteps louder and more imposing. The crowd enjoys the theatrics relatively well.
The next pair of representatives is Fern and Dalorini of the Church of Moradin. Fern uses thaumaturgy to make it sound like hammer hitting metal as they make their way on the stage and the crowd really enjoys that as well.
Next is Pius and Flynn of the Church of Myrkul. They do the "classic" approach of just being regular people in order to get the crowd to like them! It actually works really well, considering they decided not to showboat.
Before Orre and Adalene of the Church of Kelemvor go onstage, Neumara leans forward and uses Enhance Ability to give Orre advantage on charisma checks before he heads out. While on stage, he plays his instrument and creates images of spooky ghosts around them as they walk on.
Neumara and Clanire of the Church of Sune go next. Neumara walks hand in hand with a begruding Clanire and then tries to lift Clanire up and fly over everyone. Clanire slips from her grip and stays firmly on the ground, ruffled and irritated, while Neumara goes ahead. Orre plays "Ride of the Valkyries" as she flies overhead before she lands and takes her place beside Clanire.
Finally, Zebulon walks on stage with Mary and Old Man Joe. Mary's playing with her flower, and Zebulon is using magic to make it change colors. The crowd goes insane for this as well. Zebulon actually "wins" the initial pick for the game to be played. He grabs a piece of paper from the crystal bowl and it's Greased Pig Catching.
Greased Pig Catching
Throughout the Greased Pig Catching, everyone goes out to look for it and Neumara finds it first. It slips out of their hands. After that, Pius finds the pig, catches it, and is holding it making his way back to the stage. While doing so, Zebulon talks to people around to find the pig and then sends some kids over to scare the pig and hope it runs his way. They do, and the pig falls to the ground and runs off in the opposite direction of Zeb. After that, Corda finds the pig, takes it, and carries it back to the stage. Orre sees this and readies an action to basically fend off Pius if he tries to take it from Corda. Pius makes his way back to the stage, sees Corda with the pig, and tries to convince him to share in the glory. This triggers Orre's held action and he tries to restrain Pius. Truthhammer, nearby, steps in, ruling in favor of Pius's pleads of "Hey, shouldn't this be cheating?" Ultimately, Corda wins by making it to the stage with the pig.
Magic Tricks Contest
The second event is pulled by Pius and is a magic tricks contest. It's effectively the same as the original performances to determine who gets to choose the first event. Neumara gets disqualified for using a magic item and being found out. Orre did the Hymn of the Doomguide (see:
The Mysta of Kelemvor). Corda forfeited this one by thaumaturgy-ing his voice and saying, "Magic shouldn't be used in trivial ways." Zebulon does a whole thing with Mary and the metal flower where she's flipping it in a frying pan. They win by the power of cuteness, Corda somehow close behind.
Storytelling Contest
The next event, chosen by Orre, is a storytelling contest. Highlights of this contest include Orre telling the story of Lux Bellator (see:
The Mysta of Kelemvor). Pius does a little boy scout storytelling session about how Myrkul is not actually a bad guy and is just a recycling god through necromancy (which irritates Orre). Fern tells the story of his sister Loom's creation (see:
Warforged). Ultimately, Orre wins this event.
Insulting Contest
The next event is chosen by Neumara and is an insulting contest. The first pairing is Pius and Orre, and they go back and forth insulting one another's religion and their relationship to their religion until Orre wins. Corda and Neumara go next, and Corda forfeits this competition as well. Zebulon and Fern go next, and Zebulon wins by insulting Fern's lack of shoes. Orre and Neumara are then paired up, and they jokingly insult each other until Neumara's jokes fall flat. Zebulon faces off with stand-in Lainey and stuns her with a comment about how she doesn't have a hat. Finally, Zebulon and Orre face off, and Orre wins this competition.
Ale Drinking Contest
The next event is chosen by Fern and is an ale drinking contest. Half of the competition is knocked out in the first round, including Fern who actually can't consume ale. After that, Zebulon, Orre, and Corda face off until only Corda is left. Corda wins this round.
Barrel Roll Race
The final event is chosen by Corda and is a barrel roll race. Pius is the first to fall and not make it to the end. Neumara's the next to fall when she's about halfway there. Corda crosses the finish line first, then Fern, then Orre, and then Zebulon. Corda takes the final point for Azuth.
Final Results
Corda wins for the Church of Azuth with 3 points, Orre taking second place for the Church of Kelemvor with 2 points, and Zebulon taking third for the Church of Lathander with 1 point.
The queen personally thanks everyone for joining, presents the Royal Book of Exalted Deeds to Corda, and the festivities end with the Church of Azuth winning the favor of the Queen for the year to come.
NPCs
High Priestess Sanctity
Sanctity is the high priestess of the Church of Hecate. She is a tiefling woman with eyes that have multiple pupils and no iris. She has long straight black hair that falls down her back and her horns curl precariously upward for somewhere between 2-3 feet (think like a kudu). She’s wearing all white with bright red accents that belt at her waist and is incredibly composed. Her skin is a dark pinky-red and smooth like stone. She's the announcer the Church Picnic and official representative hostess of the Church of Hecate.
Truthhammer
Truthhammer is the referee for the competition. He is a goliath man that’s 8’5” tal, which is tall for a goliath, and incredibly buff. He carries a huge war hammer that’s resting easily on his shoulder. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t cajole to the crowds, just stands dutifully by Sanctity. His job is to keep a watchful eye to look out for cheating, although while the participants aren't within his eye sight, he can't do much about it.
Lainey
Lainey is an acolyte of Hecate and the stand-in for bracketed competitions. She is an 18 year old human girl that is very devout to her goddess, and is very polite. She has dark brown hair, tanned skin, and dark eyes. She is very devout to her goddess and very polite. She watches everything intently, sizing up her opponents.
Flynn Teafeet
Flynn is the halfling mentor of
Pius Cosades and the secondary representative of the Church of Myrkul. He's 125 years old, about 4’2” with brown hair and blue eyes, and only is a part of the festival’s main event because as Pius’s religious mentor, he was dragged into it. Although he doesn’t want to be there, he’ll do the minimum to ensure he doesn’t get in trouble with the rest of the church. He kind of just wants a chill, low stress vibe but instead is thrust directly into the middle of the Kelemvor/Myrkul rivalry. He is a very chill person, more focused on enjoying the time they’re living in especially in his older age. He's very close friends with Pius.
Adalene Waterfree
Adalene Waterfree is the secondary representative of the Church of Kelemvor. She is a human woman sent with
Orre Feus to verify his passing of the test. She will do all she can to make sure that the Church of Myrkul does not win, but her main role is to verify that Orre can do it on his own. She will step in where necessary as secondary representative. She’s 6’4 with curly black hair and dark brown eyes and dark skin. Her eyes are often wide like she’s just seen a ghost. She did not know Orre before this and has kept their relationship entirely professional, their mission the only thing on her mind.
Dalorini Bitterforge
Dalorini Bitterforge is the secondary representative of the Church of Moradin. She is a dwarven woman with a dark braid and dark eyes. She's about 65 years old. She’s there both as protection for
Furnace and as a safe person to fall back on if Fern fails. She enjoys Fern’s company and is fascinated by his workings, but she also knows that her role in this is to ensure that the church wins so that’s her main priority. She’s very driven to do the best she can and support Fern in all ways possible.
Joseph "Old Man Joe" Finlay
Old Man Joe is the secondary representative of the Church of Lathander. He is an older archivist that was assigned to
Zebulon to keep him on track with the religious readings. He has been with the church for a long time and will be there for quite a while after. He's a gnomish man that’s about 3’2 with a meticulously kept beard and clothing adorned with shiny yellow jewels that reflect the light of Lathander. He is probably in his early 400s. He’s really not into the festival but does what he must as a representative of the church to win, and as such he’ll never actively throw a game and he can’t be swayed to do so because it is an affront to both him and his opponent.
Clanire Xyrna
Clanire Xyrna is the secondary representative for the Church of Sune. She is a 500 something year old high elf. She’s about 5’5 and has been a member of the Church of Sune for hundreds of years. She has blonde, slicked back hair in a low bun and piercing gold eyes. She is not pleased with the direction the Church of Sune is going under
Neumara, and she is very much “fake nice”. She won’t cause a scene in front of the festival, but it’s clear she is very jealous that Neumara was chosen over her as the first representative.
Vinia
Vinia is the secondary representative for the Church of Azuth. She is an 18 year old research assistant of the Church of Azuth. She's a satyr that’s 5’0 tall and grew up in the church. She has blonde hair and brown eyes, is very energetic and pumped to be a part of the festival at such a young age. She grew up in the Church of Azuth as her family joined it when it was just gaining traction, and she always acts like she’s just drank 3 cups of coffee and an energy drink (and she probably did do the fantasy version of that). She’s very friendly to Corda even if she can be a bit much and she greatly respects him.
Queen Everly Lavandin
See: Age of Lavandin
Queen Everly is a scourge aasimar woman, 61 years old as of 228 AL. She has pupil-less gray eyes and long silver hair that she keeps tied back in a couple of braids. She has pale skin, is 6’2”, and incredibly muscular although she has become more lithe in her older age. She presents the Royal Book of Exalted Deeds to the winner at the end of the competition and thanks everyone for their time.
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