You’ve all heard of him. The cat. The myth. The legend. Tickles McGee. Head of Kauvet’s notorious feline mafia family, The Litter, and fiercest of all the local mob bosses. With a territory that reaches from one end of Kauvet to the other and a reputation for cunningly punishing those who cross him as lavishly as he rewards those who devote their loyalties to The Litter and his leadership, this bald and tatted-out lil fucker has finally met his match in rival mob boss Patrick the Cat Trick. Where Tickles slices, Patty Catty slams. Where Tickles sneaks, Pat thunders. What Tickles wants, Patty gets. And now, for his 75th birthday, and 60 years after they parted ways from their united humble beginnings, Tickles has had enough. Time to prove that The Litter is superior in cunning, ability, and power meows, once and for all.
After months of planning, Tickles has tasked you—his prized task force and hench men—to retrieve the [crown? Book? *treasured item*] from the most difficult place yet, and one they had not previously dared to trifle with: the Royal Acropolis. There will be traps, hidden puzzles, tests of will and feats of strength, but every member of the Litter will have to reckon with themselves. Being caught in the act and captured by Royal Knights could mean capital punishment, or decades in prison. But is that really worse than coming home to Tickles empty handed, should you escape… and fail?
The PCs
Miranda Disseminates Magic Items
- Pocket shark (Mad Katya)
- 3 healing brews (Star)
- Ring of loon noises (sending stones/ear pieces)
- Dipping stone (return to drawn pentagram)
- Ring of anti-gravity (Klep)
- Breathing bubble
- Bag of holding (Snow)
Summary
A wild adventure where our group of highly skilled professional thieves, under the wing of the one and only Tickle’s McGee, go to find a crown. After being briefed by Tickles in his plush study in the underground lair of The Litter, the party embarks on their quest: it’s not just a crown they seek, but a chess piece, hidden in King Diacon Lavandin’s legendary hoard of gold buried underneath the castle. They are dropped off by Mafia grunts, and sneak up on the fortress that is the Obsidian Castle, distracting minotaur archers looking down from the battlements with some barrels, a pocket shark, telepathy, and some sneakery.
Moving down to the lower level, they encounter a guard who may or may not be reading smutty romance novels and two guards down the other hallway. Klep sneaks into the office at the bottom of the hallway, while the rest of the party huddles by the stairs. After reaching the office, Klep finds a sourly focused bureaucrat who looks oddly similar to the Prime Minister of Russia. After an initial interaction which yielded nothing but the mere promise of shinies, the bureaucrat was irritated into his true form: a werecrab. A low alarm begins to sound, alerting the two guards and their angler-fish dog creatures down the hallway, who begin to encroach on the party. Eventually the guards are dealt with, and the party meanders to another chamber.
On the walls are weapons with strange glowing runes, which immediately entice Klep, who enters the chamber. Almost immediately, she is thrown into a pool of unending darkness, where a soft-spoken manatee-like creature, called The Unspoken One. The Unspoken One informs Klep that she is about to die, and better just accept it, and would she like some tea? It’s all a very calming experience, overall. Fortunately, her crew wasn’t far behind, and jumped in after her, after seeing Klep completely still and unmoving in the armory chamber. Eventually, after a couple ins and outs, the whole party is able to leave the death void and return to reality.
The party traverses further into the fortress, into the basement. A disgruntled receptionist greets them, and is wildly unhelpful. There are two enormous gelatinous cubes, hugging every possible surface down the two hallways that the party can see. More guards dot the basement, all wearing some kind of shiny armor— the party surmises that this armor allows the guards to walk through the death jelly unharmed. After the disgruntled receptionist has been thoroughly disgruntled by the party and pulled a level, a low alarm sound begins to ring, and the gelatinous cubes begin moving slowly around the circular hallways, trapping the party if they do not move quickly enough. Our cat snatchers are savvy and quick, however, and mow through the guards and deftly avoid the wham jam, reaching the final door.
They head down a staircase leading to an enormous cavern, sneaking so as to be undetected by the two guards. They are easily dispatched however. Hanging above a giant underground lake is a safe, held up by a hefty chain. At last, the party’s bounty is in sight. Unfortunately, before the guards left, they were able to trigger the failsafe, releasing the safe into the dark waters below. Unbeknownst to the party (although soon to be unbeknownst), a mythically large albino alligator roams the depths—and he hasn’t had his merienda yet. Klep bravely dives into the water, eventually followed by Snow, while Katya and Star keep watch above water. After picking the lock to the safe and opening it, narrowly avoiding the giant alligator, half the party finds a world of mountains and mountains of gold and riches. In the center:
Diacon Lavandin's Chess Piece, as large as they are. The party manages again to evade the toothed monster, and escape the castle with their prize. Notably, the party also ends up stealing
The Royal Book of Exalted Deeds and
The Rosethorn.
Upon returning to The Litter’s Box (lair), Tickles eagerly awaits their return. The party brings the giant chess piece to their leader, whose lips curl in a gleeful snarl. He traces the runes on the back of the chess piece, which begin to glow. They watch as slowly the white marble begins to melt and take on a lifelike color and texture, the carved robes flooding with rich royal hues and expensive sheen. Suddenly, a king stands before them, and he looks around confusedly at the people around him asking, “Where am I? What year is it? And who is on my throne?”
Tickles McGee
See: Tickles McGee
Leader of the Litter
Escapee of the Acropolis Prison
Diacon Lavandin(?)
At the very least mentioned
See: Age of Lavandin
Possibly the one in the chess piece; alternatively, that could be the person he couped
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