First Asshole
The people of Utnapishtim have come to the conclusion that all political leaders, or heads of state, are “lying, good for nothing, assholes” so they have made the titles of all their politicians “Asshole” with the First Asshole being the head of state. It is a great dishonor to be sentenced to this position and they usually end up homeless and having to beg for their daily bread. Their spouses divorce them and their parents disown them.
Qualifications
Ability to state his opinion without giving a damn what others think of him or her.
Appointment
Sentenced by a court official to serve at least four years as First Asshole, for answering “Yes” to the question “Does this dress make me look fat?”
Grounds for Removal/Dismissal
If proven too polite or indecisive.
Equates to
Prime Minister, President
Source of Authority
Judge who passes the sentence.
Length of Term
Four years, with possible release in two years for good behavior.
Current Holders
Related Locations
Related Organizations
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