Session 10: Monster Hunter Worlds
General Summary
As we set sail for Jurassic Park, I mean, Antira; our journey is fraught with hardships. TT has stolen the ship’s cheese supply which nearly causes a riot. Our cook, Stabby, is seconds away from snapping and ordering a hit on somebody over this, but when Owkbanok tries to speak the truth, TT flips it on him instead. I cover both their asses by accusing Amelia’s ex and Stabby is satisfied with this and has the boy brought over to be punished for his crimes. TT manages to plant some cheese on him to implicate him further and with that, Stabby sets me and Owk loose on the poor guy. He gets stabbed in the stomach and loses a finger before he’s rushed to the medic after learning his lesson. The lesson probably being “don’t trust pirates” or “double check any cruises you sign up for in the future cuz it’s probably not actually a cruise and now you’re missing a finger and your sense of adventure because somebody’s always threatening to stab you over cheese”. Was it worth it, Tommy?
With some ominous sea fog over the next few days, we find a merchant ship that’s terribly lost and in need of aid. Perfect score for us, so we board under the guise that we’re going to help them before TT kicks off the battle by randomly stabbing the captain because our dumbasses still haven’t figured out a sign to let everyone know shit’s about to go down. But even with some fumbles and mishaps, we manage to kill most of the crew and loot their goods. We take their survivors into our crew, head on back to our ship, and burn the merchant ship down which ends up keeping us from getting lost. Over this time, we also learn that Amelia sucks at her job as lookout because she spots Antira in the distance before losing it and accusing the island of moving. Baffled by her poor perception, we end up crashing and getting stuck rocky, shallow waters, but come morning; our crew’s wizard sets us loose and we eventually make it to our destination.
The island is vast and uncharted, so we all break off into groups to explore. TT, Antic, and Inami focus on documenting and crafting a map for us. Me, Cayde, Tonari, and sometimes Stabby (we’re bros now) head out to explore the island as much as we can. And Amelia, Owkbanok, and some nameless redhead go searching for any specific points of interest. While we were under the impression that we wouldn’t actually see any dinosaurs, there’s actually many on this island and as we execute some of them, I start to become profusely uncomfortable with these crimes committed against the master race.
But ultimately, the crew comes first and my firm childhood beliefs about dinosaurs have to come second as we’re in desperate need of food that isn’t potatoes or peaches we looted from the merchant ship. We manage to kill a big ass dinosaur that’ll feed our crew for the time we’re here and as the weeks clock by, we manage to find some valuable treasures and a couple of waypoints. Such as an ancient city that looked like stepping into goddamn Pompeii, some hot springs where Amelia proceeds to give Owkbanok a show by making out with the redhead, a volcano, a mountain region, and some volcanic caverns.
The waypoint group nearly loses their lives once they stumble upon an angry ass dinosaur. There isn’t enough glitterdust in the world to keep this thing down, but luckily they manage not to die and we finish this session off by watching this dino die after Owkbanok literally lights a fire under its ass. Oh, and then we collect a random humanoid corpse we find because of course we do. Our corpse collecting ways apparently extends beyond the crusades game and into every game we play.
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Report Date
28 Jun 2021
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