It Takes Time <To Be Properly Taken Apart> - Chapter 37
Chapter 37
Chapter Length: 8,000~ wordsCentre of the Forest
The Heartwood Grove
It had all taken place in a single instant. Raqi had understood immediately what was being asked of her: She was to create a place deep within the core of her self, which would serve as a fortress whose walls no outside influence could breach. She had known, on an instinctual level, how to accomplish such a thing. She did not believe herself as skilled as Straessa at manipulating their mind, and would normally have hesitated to think herself capable of such a feat; but when the order came for an external source, it did not matter what she believed. All she had to do was trust in Punica and do as she was told, and it would work. That, she had had no trouble believing in. So, for a few moments, she let her thoughts be guided by automatic processes she barely understood; her mind's eye weaving and ducking through glimpses of colours and feelings of distance, all the while equally unidentifiable sensations ran across the surface of her awareness. And then, she was a person again. Her senses returned to her with the same abruptness as when waking from a dream, and it was a few seconds before she was able to orient herself and get used to existing consciously once more. At the same time, she also noticed that a short set of words had been all-but branded into her consciousness; tied inseparably to the environment in which she now found herself. Before she had time to remark upon the words or the environment, however, her brain recalled the way her consciousness had just been spread out as if across a table a few seconds ago, and it decided that she ought to respond to this by feeling as if she had just survived a very near-death experience. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. She let out a strained laugh. Okay, so that was absolutely fucking horrifying and uh, I am probably now going to be scarred for life. <unnerved; shaken; amused> Without even really consciously thinking about it, she made it clear through the emotions she imbued in the thought that she was being at least partially sarcastic; in the sense that while she probably was going to be stuck with that memory forever, she didn't think it was likely to upset her overmuch in the long run. Ah, I apologise for that. I should perhaps have considered that presenting you with such a visual might have been somewhat overwhelming. /apologetic-genuine/ Yeah, it's just got that kind of like, vaguely-existentially-invalidating feel to it, y'know. Like I just looked some kind of outer god in the face and got to understand how cosmically small I am. Fortunately in this case, that does not appear to have caused me to go immediately insane.<nonchalant; scared; uncomfortable; amused> /amusement-mild-guilt/ This is a phenomenon I am somewhat familiar with, yes. I have heard many xenosophonts describe affini as somewhat 'eldritch.' Perhaps on account of being one myself, I struggle to understand what causes such feelings. /intrigued-speculative/ If I had to guess, my assumption would be that: Various xenosophont species, when presented with the unmasked depth of an affini biorhythm, respond by unconsciously perceiving it as a threat; one which their mind deems to be so overwhelming and impossible to defend against, that their mind concludes the only method to ensure their safety is immediate and unconditional submission. /speculative-unconcerned/ It was well understood within the Compact that many xeno species tended to react instinctively with fear when first exposed to the sensory profiles of affini. It was an unfortunate quirk of evolutionary neurology that little could be done about; the affini did after all bear many resemblances to predators- at least to an untrained vine. Of course, they were the farthest thing the universe held from beings with actual predatory intent; but the xenosophonts of the universe could not be expected to know this, and so Punica did not find the thought of them finding her terrifying particularly troublesome. So basically, affini are so *much* on a biological level that just looking directly at the whole of one of them is so terrifying that it can mindbreak people into instant submission? <curiosity; light-arousal> 'Mindbreaking' is perhaps a somewhat exaggerated way of putting it, but the essence of what you are describing is correct, yes. /amusement-light-predatory/ Raqi was now back in tune enough with her real body - largely on account of how fast her heart was beating - that she could feel her cheeks turning red. T-that's, uh- equal parts terrifying and, um, hot. There was a sensation, then; something that her mind characterised as being akin to her own ears pricking up and her eyes widening expectantly. S-so does that mean I just survived looking at something that could have broken other sophonts, and came out of it intact? <excitement; wanting-praise> Hmm... If it had been my intention to break you, I could have made that experience much more unnerving than it was. I suppose, however, that even such a brief glimpse could have unsettled other sophonts much more deeply than you yourself seem to have been affected by it. /amusement/ Punica's words of praise, while somewhat gratifying, still left Raqi wanting more. Well, I *have* had to deal with a lot of spooky eldritch stuff before inside of my own head, so I have gotten pretty resilient towards that kind of thing. <proud; wanting-praise> You indeed are a very durable sophont mentally. That much is certainly to be commended. /strong-amusement-affection-pride/ If Raqi had a tail, she would have been wagging it as fast as she could right then. She was, as she had been so many times before in her life, immensely disappointed that she did not. Thank you M- uhhhhhh- LOUD COUGHING SOUNDS For the first time, she heard what she thought was Punica laughing through their mental connection. Ah, fully capitalised 'loud coughing sounds.' You have such a fascinating internal monologue, Raqi. /strong-amusement-genuine-affectionate/ At this, Raqi would have needed to install a second tail in order to allow for even faster wagging. I- look, I've spent most of my time talking to people via text okay, that's just how I think now. <; shy; pleased> There was a moment of silence.
Oh Inos this is unbearable, I want her to fuck with me so bad, aaaaaaaa hhhhnnnnngg.
She is so adorable; why oh why do I still have to wait?! Agh, I want her in my vines so frosting badly...
Both were too caught up in their own momentary fantasizing to notice the other's thoughts, and as soon as she was done daydreaming, Raqi turned her attention back to the situation at hand. Okay, so, uh- When Punica had taken control of her awareness to show her the biorhythm visualisation, her mind had not been completely inactive. While her consciousness had been entirely frozen, other parts of her brain seemed to have still been functioning, and had worked to interpret the images into a series of instructions. She had an instinctual understanding of what each one of them had meant that felt as if it came right from her own self: The first two had been her own biorhythm, and the third had been hers contrasted against Punica's. Punica had then closed the space that she had up to then been politely keeping between them - at which point Raqi had momentarily thought she was about to die - but then stopped before actually overwhelming Raqi's rhythm. She had then constructed a wall around Raqi's rhythm that kept her own at bay, which she now understood that Punica's rhythm would not be able to cross unless she let it. It was interesting to her that she had seemed to interpret some parts of what had happened as being her own actions, and others as Punica doing things to her. The wall, for example, was most definitely something Punica had created; even if she was the one who had given it a form and a location. It felt, on an internal level, like it belonged to the affini, and Raqi did not feel as if she would be able to do or change anything about it without her permission. The visual representation of what the wall looked like, however, was all hers; and so was the space inside it. It was that space which she had been thinking of when the words had popped into her mind after she returned to awareness. She knew somehow that the place she now found herself in was
Heartwood Grove
Center of the Forest
which, for some reason, was conveyed as an image rather than actual words. While she was used to naming bits and pieces of her wonderland, it was relatively unusual for them to spontaneously generate names all on their own, and she supposed this was likely indicative of her brain recognising the significance of this place. It was also kind of funny that it had gone about it as if the area were a location in a video game, but that was far less surprising to her. The name also carried within it an emotional component, consisting of a sense of peace; slight happiness; and a familiar, almost childhood comfort. It was hard to describe how she knew it, but she sensed at once that this was the sort of place she felt the most at home.
At that moment, her internal camera shifted, and- oh, she was back to having a camera now rather than being in a half-dream state, that was interesting- and she found herself staring up at Punica; the affini flanked by what appeared to be part of a grove of trees. I am rather curious to see what you have come up with to represent the construct which we have designed, Punica spoke, voice radiating /eagerness/ and /excitement/, as well as no small hint of /pride/ directed at her work. Would you mind taking some time to explore this place, in order to confirm that everything is functioning as intended? /inquiry/
Oh, sure! <accepting> Raqi had no problems with that. It had been quite a while since she'd had a new place in wonderland to explore, and she was excited as well. Normally, automatic generation only functioned properly when she was on the verge of sleep, and her mind rarely came up with anything particularly interesting or significant for her to look at. This time, though, it was all but guaranteed that whatever she found in the Heartwood Grove was likely to be very worth seeing.
Knowing my brain, there's probably something at the very centre. I'll save that for when I'm done here first, though.
That her mind would choose a forest to represent her innermost self is somewhat fascinating. Why this choice of scenery, I wonder?
She began by casting her attention around, causing the space she was in to immediately begin solidifying. The picture quality was relatively high; presumably an indication that whatever part of her brain was responsible for generating graphics in dreams had helped out with making this. As its name suggested, the Heartwood Grove did indeed seem to be at at the centre of a forest. Raqi and Punica found themselves standing in a small green clearing, surrounded by trees on almost all sides. Curiously, there was almost something akin to a note attached to the area name, specifying that the secondary title could be read two separate ways. It could be read as referring to the fact that the grove existed at the centre of Punica - whose form could easily be described as akin to a forest - but the same was also true of Raqi; who was a forest in her own right, albeit a very different type of one. The thought surprised her a little. She wasn't really one for woodland imagery most of the time, generally preferring birds when it came to herself, and ancient ruins when it came to locations, but there had been exceptions. Hmm... The vibe kind of reminds me of something, but... Whatever it was, she couldn't quite put her finger on it right now, and so she decided to turn back to her primary task of exploring; casting her attention around the immediate vicinity. Beyond the small clearing that she and Punica were standing in, Raqi could sense that the actual full size of the 'walled garden' they were presently residing in was not much bigger. Her mind instinctively constructed a bird's-eye view of the entire area, and she was interested to find it was roughly the same size as the park near her home back on the Gliese. Wonder if my brain used that for inspiration? She and Punica were located at what her mind had also decided was the southernmost portion of the enclosure. They were hemmed in on three sides by the cluster of trees that covered the rest of the space in the garden, and then by what seemed like a large, ornate stone wall behind her; which she could immediately tell marked the edge of the area. This struck her as the most interesting place to start with, and so she switched back to first-person and turned around to get a closer look. The wall was one single curved formation, identical in both the colour of the brickwork and the shape to the one Raqi had seen Punica placing around her core in her mind. She was delighted to see that, despite its age being able to be measured in the minutes, her mind had opted to cover the inside of the bricks in thin layers of moss, ivy, and various other creepers; giving the entire thing the 'long-forgotten ruin' aesthetic which she so enjoyed. Perhaps picking up on the <delight> which she was emanating, she felt Punica's form slither- oh that was kind of a weird tactile sensation, but she didn't have legs under the dress so Raqi supposed that made sense- up to her side, radiating /amusement-pleasure-approval/. You have excellent taste in architecture, Raqi. Her head lit up with excitement and satisfaction at the praise. Oh! You like this kind of thing, too? <eagerness; happiness> I do indeed. While mixing flora with constructions is a design element present in almost every affini architectural style, the specific choice to make use of 'old-looking' or damaged materials is much less common. There were large parts of the Longbough which were constructed in a similar style, and I believe the ship Actual was quite fond of the aesthetic; though I do not know for sure, seeing as I have not met her and therefore never had the chance to ask. /informative-explanatory/ Mid-way through Punica's explanation, Raqi had started spacing out while looking at the ivy, and she barely heard the remainder of what the plant said, as she was busy thinking:
...I wonder what it'd be like if she wrapped me up in ivy the same way that wall is...
She would look so adorable covered head to toe in class-A-producing poison ivy.
When Punica finished speaking, Raqi realised she had been daydreaming, and quickly attempted to recall any of what Punica had just said. The only thing she could really remember was the word 'actual', and it took her several seconds to realise why her brain had fixated upon that in particular. It was, she remembered, the term used by affini in Domestication Guide stories to refer to an affini whose consciousness had been transferred into a spacecraft. Autonomous ships didn't turn up very often in Domestication Guide stories, but it had stuck with Raqi nonetheless on account of how cool the idea was conceptually. Oh, shit. So you really do the whole turning people into ships thing? <curiosity; excitement> We do indeed. Autonomous ships are quite uncommon, though, on account of the prohibitive amount of effort required to ascend to become one; as well as the fact that, simply put, relatively few affini wish to become one. It commonly takes multiple blooms for a would-be ascendant to master their new form, and the training required for the added responsibility of caring for sophonts on board is also multiple blooms long on its own. /affirmative-explanatory/ Yeah, I guess that makes sense. She snickered. You think transing your gender is hard, try transitioning from a person into a spaceship. A strong sense of /amusement/ pulsed out from Punica's presence in her mind. I would say it is perhaps a little more difficult; if only slightly, depending on one's civilisation. This elicited a bout of hearty mental sniggering from Raqi; who was also very surprised that Punica knew how to make good trans jokes. She wondered briefly if that was included in the '{Racenames} are adorable!' classes, but ended up feeling too silly to actually pose the question. A moment later, Raqi skipped over to the steps and began making her way up them. She was surprised by how easy it was to move around here; this part of the area seemed to be fully depth-mapped, and she had no trouble getting her legs to move in front of her. She climbed the steps one at a time, enjoying the sound and the phantom tactile feedback of her feet tapping against stone. Upon making her way to the top of the wall, she was greeted with a breathtaking view. Beyond the small islet of trees within which she was safely ensconced was a vast ocean of swirling green mist. It pulsed with faint multi-coloured lights- a mixture between greens and occasionally pale yellows- and continually roiled like the depths of a storm. It stretched on and on as far as her perception continued, and she knew somehow that it went on far beyond that. Santraz akk akqcho, she murmured. So this is... you. <awestruck> Your mind's representation of me, yes. /affirmative/ She turned her head towards the Punica stood next to her, then frowned. How does that work if you're standing right next to me? /inquiring/ I presume that you are simply capable of differentiating between the overall idea of my presence - which is represented by the sea of mist before us - and my actual 'self', which is stood besides you right now. /calm-explanatory/ That explanation made sense to Raqi. She supposed that this also meant that Punica would be capable of entering into this place and changing anything that was there, if she wanted to. The thought sent a small thrill through her; though in truth it was barely any more exciting than already having another person walking around in the literal inside of her mind. She peered down over the edge into the swirling mist. ...I wonder what'd happen if I fell into it. <nervousness; curiosity> Almost immediately, a vine curled around the back hem of her shirt, and pulled her away from the edge. I would advise against trying to find out. /cautioning/ Yeah, uh- I have enough common sense that I wasn't planning on it. <> She straightened back up. Anyway, that's beautiful- if maybe just a little bit terrifying. She supposed that description was quite an accurate summary of the affini as a whole.
She totally could have pushed me over the edge there. ...I wonder if she thought about it.
It would be so easy... Just one little nudge, and she would go tumbling down- No, stop. I do not want that.
Something else Raqi had noticed was that the wall seemed to lack any sort of a gate, or other entrance-exit point. There was no way, even if she had wanted to, for her to let Punica's influence into her core. This was a necessary precaution in order to avoid you being unconsciously convinced to let me inside. /explanatory/ Ah. She nodded quickly. Good idea, yeah. <approving> She wasn't entirely convinced that her mind couldn't come up with a way to let the mist in if it wanted, but hopefully she'd never have reason to find out. A quick glance around the top of the wall suggested there was nothing of further interest to observe, and so Raqi made her way back down the steps and to the clearing where they had started. She had seen no other points of interest on the outskirts that while observing the area from up-above, and that meant the last place to visit was the centre of the grove. Right. Next stop: the middle. At the moment she settled on her destination, a path made out of stepping stones appeared in the grass, leading in to the trees up ahead. Raqi immediately willed herself to begin following it, but she realised at once that it was not going to be as easy as last time. The moment she arrived at the edge of the trees, her vision got 'stuck', and she found that she could not move any further forwards. Shit. Yeah, I figured it'd do this. Is something the matter? /curiosity/ I don't have a lot of experience with forest interiors, and they're hell from a depth perception stand point. For that reason, this tree here might as well be a flat wall for all I can move through it. It's okay, though; I know a trick to deal with this. <explanatory> Raqi continued to imagine herself moving forwards, even as her mind's eye failed to update. She kept careful track of the feeling of her legs moving, imagining taking step after step down the path. Gradually, a sense akin to a type of pressure began to build in a part of her head, and eventually, she felt satisfied that she would have walked far enough. Instantly, she found herself having switched place to a different part of the grove. She had made her way all the way through the trees, and now was in a larger, still-circular clearing in the middle of it. Hm! What a clever solution to overcome that problem. /firm-approval/ Thank you! I don't know when I first came up with it, but me and Straessa had this problem back when we were still together; and it's been a pain in the ass for years. Had to find some way of dealing with it. <pleased; happy>
I really hope we get to spend more time together like this... There are so many things I still haven't gotten the chance to show her yet, and I want her to see all of them.
What a joy it would be to map out each and every one of the quirks of her mindspace like this. It would be delightful to be able to assist her in overcoming them.
In the centre of the clearing was exactly what Raqi had expected to see: Sprouting up from the ground and spreading its roots for dozens of feet in all directions was a massive, ancient tree that dimly resembled a Terran willow. It was covered in hundreds of branches that draped long, trailing fronds of thin leaves that all swayed gently in in the wind. The stepping stone path continued all the way up to the edge of its trunk, at which point the ground started sloping noticeably downwards towards it. Oh! It's just what I hoped it would be! /glee; excitement/ Oh? /strong-curiosity-interest/ Raqi did not reply. Instead, she set off at a jog down the path and towards the dip in the ground. It took her only a few seconds to close the distance, and with every step she took, a familiar warmth and comfort started to fill her mind. Upon reaching the edge of the tree's trunk, it became possible to see past the edge of the ground. The dirt continued to slope downwards into a large open hollow beneath the tree, carved out into what was essentially a circular ditch within the ground. The interior of the ditch was in turn filled with dried grasses that had been piled up over all of the surfaces, and stacked higher at the edges in such a way that it resembled a bird's nest. Without even a moment's hesitation, Raqi got down onto her knees and crawled under the low opening leading into the den. The moment she was inside, she stood back up, then switched position and slid the rest of the way down, until she landed with a faint rustling sound in the centre of the dried grass enclave. The instant the sound and texture hit her mind, a wave of happiness and safety flooded through her consciousness, and she collapsed into the centre of the ditch like it was her bed. Oh, she thought, a dreamy smile forming both within her mind, and on her real face. I missed this place... <nostalgia; longing> Shortly afterwards, her focus was drawn to the hollow that she had just entered through. Upon looking up, Raqi noticed a single vine poking inquisitively through the entryway. This is interesting. I do not find that I can move my presence in here with you. Something in your mind is rejecting my attempts to do so. /intrigued-surprised-curious/ At the same time... I feel as if I recognise this place. Is this- Oh! I remember now! It is not visually the same, but there is a feeling here which is identical to that of the place which you came to when I first subjected you to my full rhythm. /surprise-confusion/ Yep! Raqi nodded. I think I know why my brain isn't letting you come in right now. It's almost certainly because of what this place is. Do tell. /strong-curiosity/ Raqi's focus on the den itself waned momentarily, as her awareness sunk back into memories of a time long past. When I was a kid, the primary school I went to - before I got taken out of it - had a really nice open play area in it. It was split into two halves; one a really big field, the other this much less interesting concrete-y area. But there was one cool thing about the concrete bit, which was that it had a little grove of trees at the back. As she described it, Raqi was remembering exactly what the area had looked like. I used to love going there, any time we were allowed out of the classroom. I'd run up there straight away, and when I got there, a bunch of the trees were kinda small and shrub-y. Dense leaf cover, but not that many branches. Because of that, and the fact that I was just a small kid, I could push through to get into the middle of them; or, in some cases, go *under* them. <warmth; nostalgia> She could still remember how she had been drawn to those places; dens, she had called them back then. Something about being ensconsed within a tree or bush and hidden away from the outside world had filled her with a sensation that she had never been able to replicate as an adult. I used to go crawl underneath the low-laying branches and stick my head in the grass, then just lay there and watch all the other kids. She could remember the absolute delight that had filled her when she found a small, covered hollow in the ground; where the grass was just high enough that she would not be visible from the outside while laying down. We had this one tree at home, as well. Our family was lucky enough that we had a garden, and there was this giant tree in it as well that had a canopy that cut off fairly low down. I remember, this one time, it was raining and I was still just barely not too tall to go and hide underneath it. I put down a picnic blanket and just lay down on it, watching everything other than me get wet while I stayed dry... <strong-comfort; relaxation; safety> She recalled the soft crunch of fallen pine needles under her hands; the texture of tiny twigs moving around under the blanket; the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the outside. She had had a book with her, and she could recall the disappointment when she'd noticed droplets starting to fall onto it, and realised it was time to go. I always felt so safe when it was raining, as well. ..Ah, yeah, another thing: Our portion of Gliese was well-off enough that we actually had simulated weather. The sense-memory of rain pitter-pattering against her bedroom window was enough to send her consciousness floating softly away from reality. I tend to get pretty anxious around bedtime, nowadays. But I've always had this belief that, if it was raining, then I'd be okay and I didn't need to worry. It always felt so comforting... <relaxed; light-trance; calm> Without her realising, it had begun raining outside of the den. She turned her attention back to the wonderland. So, yeah. I guess you could say this is... my little hidey-hole. I've had a version of this place since I was a kid; the old one used to be inside of a hedge just down the road from my house, then at some point I moved it under a tree. It's, uhm... For all that she normally felt ashamed speaking of such things, the comfort of the situation was enough to null even her anxiety. It's the one place I feel safe. So, I guess the reason it's not letting you in is because, well... you're still a little scary, and I'm, uhm, vulnerable in here. <; bashful; apologetic; nervousness> That is... completely understandable. /soft-warmth-delight-happiness/ She was surprised to find that Punica wasn't upset. She had expected the affini to be offended by the idea that she still didn't feel completely safe around her, but there was no hint whatsoever of that in Punica's voice or presence. Likely picking up on her confusion, the affini continued a moment later: Raqi, the fact that you have a place in which you are able to feel safe is a source of great happiness for me. For all that what you have shown me of the inside of your mind has been amazing so far, I did not fully expect you to have anywhere like this; on account of how insecure you have spoken to me of feeling much of the time. That you do is therefore as much of a surprise as it is a relief. /warmth-joy/ Oh. She felt her nervousness easing somewhat. Mhm. To that end, I would never wish to intrude in such a place if it would in any way impinge upon its functionality. /warm-genuine/ There was a pause, and then she added: I will not pretend that I do not hope that a day comes when you will feel comfortable allowing me in there, however. /nervous/ Another, even shorter pause. And to be clear: It is something that I would absolutely never force upon you, under any circumstances. /nervous-concerned/ The corner's of Raqi's lips curled upwards, in a mixture of surprise and happiness. Seeing Punica openly worry about breaking her boundaries was somehow immensely reassuring, and part of her wanted to reach out and pull the plant in on the spot after hearing that. Ultimately, she didn't quite go that far. Thank you. I, uhm- yeah, that may be possible, eventually. <earnest; happy> She immediately felt Punica's presence relaxing, and it quickly returned to its usual baseline. She would have had a lot more thoughts about the experience, but they were the kinds of reflections she wanted to have when the subject of them would not be there to hear them, and so she decided to save them for later. A comfortable silence fell over the two. While Raqi enjoyed basking in the comfort of her childhood safe place, Punica was content to simply watch her do so. I have never seen her quite like this, the affini thought, marveling at the simplistic joy and comfort which she felt radiating out from the xenosophont. It was different to how it had been when she had brought together her rhythms; that had been similar, but far, far more intense and ecstatic, on account of the heightened emotions at play in that situation for both of them. Her emotions now, on the other hand, were much calmer, and contained a sense of unguarded innocence, as well as a contentment that contrasted starkly against the intense desire she had shown before. By the Everbloom's boughs, she is the most precious thing... Not the most precious thing that Punica had ever seen; the most precious thing, period. There would never be something more so than Raqi, she was absolutely certain of it. She had already begun working on a body configuration that would allow her to closely mimic the style of 'den' that Raqi had spoken of. It would likely take a few days to finish- maybe a week, if she obsessed over it; which she was definitely going to- but when it was done, she had every intention of turning herself into the same kind of safe place that this represented for the xenosophont. I want her to come to me every time she is the slightest bit nervous or afraid, and for her to bury her face in my leaves. I want to feel her heartrate slow and her breathing relax, and watch her eyes flutter closed... She did not normally verbalise her thoughts quite like this, but for some reason, it felt better to say the words this time around than to simply think the concepts as she normally did. As more time passed, she felt Raqi's focus drifting briefly away from the nest to other subjects that interested her. She had begun noticing over the course of the day that the xenosophont really did seem to have something of a short attention span. She had mentioned it some days ago, but Punica had thought little of that fact beforehand. Now that she could see it herself, however, it was rather endearing the way that the landamaeri could barely keep her focus on a given subject for more than ten seconds without constant stimulation. It made it all the more endearing when the inverse occurred, and she so easily got lost in any hypnotic stimulus that Punica presented to her. She wondered if part of the reason the girl was so susceptible to enthrallment was that her mind craved stimulation, and the flickering lights of affini hypnotic centres as well as the impossibly complex patterns of their biorhythms were perfectly configured to provide that. It would explain why so many Terran florets seem to have what the Accord thought of as attention deficit conditions, she mused. When viewed through the lens of domestication, their need for constant stimulation made them uniquely drawn towards the various types of enticement that the affini could offer; and it could therefore be said that those with such conditions were naturally predisposed towards becoming pets. While she was planning out a way to tease Raqi about that at some time in the future, something that the girl's attention passed over caught her interest. It had only been for a moment, but she had caught sight of a mental image of what looked like a space-ship door; sealed shut and covered in vines. It was a somewhat odd visual; not the kind of thing that she would expect to see on an affini vessel on account of the vines' positioning to block the door, and she could not imagine where else the sight might have come from. She sent a gentle impulse towards Raqi, consisting of an emotion of /curiosity/ combined with /inquiry/, and the stated subject matter of the door she had just visualised. Hm? The xeno quickly acknowledged the communication, and Punica felt her presence clarifying for a moment; presumably a sign that she was focusing. Oh, uh... Yeah, dunno where that's from. Might've just been something my brain cooked up; I was daydreaming a little bit there. <unconcerned; disinterested> Punica's core rumbled faintly. She supposed that was as likely an explanation as any, and she sent a short burst of /acknowledgement/ back to her. The conversation then fell silent once again.
Several minutes later, Raqi's mental avatar wiggled around to get more comfortable in the den, and something occurred to Punica. Raqi. Is there any particular significance to the inside of your den being filled with dead grass? /curiosity/ The xeno's attention immediately turned towards her. Oh, uh- Yeah, actually. None of the dens I had as a kid were like this; this is a more modern addition. It's meant to resemble a bird's nest. <neutral; explanatory> The reply interested her. Why a bird's nest? // Well, you know. Bird nests are comfy! Birds get to sit in them and look all snug and secure and- and well they're just super nice. <happy; smug; pleased> All of a sudden, Raqi's thoughtspace avatar started wiggling its head from side to side. I wanna be a bird. Birds are cool. <wistful> Instantly, one hundred percent of Punica's attention was fixated on Raqi. Several pieces of memory came together in an instant; she recalled their earlier conversation about transhumanism, in which Raqi had specified she did not want to be landamaeri, but had said she did not specifically wish to be digital either. Next were her two titles; the Simurgh - which Punica had only just now recalled was the name of a Terran mythological bird - and the Firebird; which she was quite sure was an alternative name for a phoenix among certain old-Terran cultures. It was just another part of Raqi's identity that seemed as if it ought to have been blatantly obvious in hindsight, but had somehow taken her this long to figure out. Still, this was interesting. Punica knew just how important identity could be to sophonts; those who identified as or wished to become something other than their original race could often feel equally as strongly about that concept as sophonts who wished to change their gender. If that was the case, there was a great deal of potential for validation here; and that in turn promised new methods to both delight and entice Raqi. She could still remember the reaction that the girl had given that was so akin to that of a starved dog the first time Punica had called her a good girl. For all that it had a deeply tragic and unpleasant cause, there was an immense amount of joy to be extracted from providing someone like Raqi with the validation she had been denied up until now. Equally noteworthy was the way that sophonts who had been starved for positive affirmation in their prior lives had a tendency to bond extremely quickly to anyone who began providing them with it. While it was difficult to view the behaviour in a vacuum from its traumatic cause, it was core-meltingly adorable to see the way that certain sophonts who normally presented as aloof and guarded could perform a complete inversion of their normal behavioural patterns when treated in the right way. This, Punica suspected, played a large part in why so many of the first wave of Terran florets had been gender non-conforming: The affini had been more than happy to provide them with the affirmation that their former society had denied them, and even those who had fallen for propaganda depicting the affini as monstrous or slaving often took only weeks to willingly throw themselves into their vines once confronted with the reality of the situation. She abruptly recalled a statistic she had once seen during a trip to the office of transitional neoxenoveterinary archaeobureaucracy, which stated that an anomalously large portion of gender-non-conforming Terrans were now florets. She could not remember the exact number, but she knew that non-cisgender Terrans were something like ten or twenty times more likely to volunteer to become florets than cisgender Terrans were. The explanation for this, she presumed, was likely a sort of conditioning effect to do with receiving gender affirmation. Terrans that found themselves finally receiving validation after years of being denied it tended to naturally find themselves drawn to the person providing it, as they started to associate them with the pleasure they felt whenever said validation was provided. This in turn would naturally encourage them to spend more time with that person, and to likely become more trusting of, and eventually vulnerable towards them; which almost invariably ended in florethood when a xenosophont did so around an affini. For all that being transgender or trans-species could be very painful for a sophont, Punica was starting to understand why some of her kin on the Longbough had said that such xenos made for absolutely joyous pets. She spent a moment contemplating what series of words might have that kind of an effect on Raqi, and wondered if there was a string of syllables she could produce that would disintegrate the girl's guard the way had happened earlier. What do you like about them? /polite-inquiring/ She carefully manicured her presence while posing the question in order to hide the otherwise very strong /Interest/ that she was feeling. The wave of <excitement> that instantly rose in Raqi's presence in response was exactly what the affini had been hoping for. Everything! Birds are super duper cool. For starters, they are *so* pretty; like, have you *seen* birds? They are undoubtedly the most beautiful type of animal in existence; there is nothing out there that gets to be nearly as gorgeous as them. Some of them are kinda dull and boring, sure- but then you've got stuff like Terran peacocks that you just look at them and go: A) how did you survive natural evolution like this and B) INOS THEY ARE SO FUCKING PRETTY I NEED TO LOOK LIKE THAT AAAAAAHFJKBDSGHJKFDBNHKJD Before Punica could even finish being amused at the mental keyslam, Raqi continued: Like, Punica- you do not understand. I *need* to become a peacock. They are- I've seen videos of the ones they kept at Accord zoos. They are the stupidest, dumbest, smuggest piece of shit animal ever. Their entire existence is just wandering around going 'yeah bitches lap it up, I'm prettier than you and I have evolved to become so gorgeous that I now do not need to do anything to survive and you just give me food because I am so aesthetic.' They *radiate* 'better than you' vibes, which is amazing because they are also completely stupid and will just like, die instantly if confronted with any kind of predator; which is my other favourite contrast, namely 'smug and thinks they're hot shit but can't back it up even remotely' because that's also literally me. Raqi's attention turned momentarily elsewhere. fuck that's such a good vibe I need to get put in my place so ba- It turned abruptly back to Punica. uh can you ignore that I just said that Punica began smirking in the real world. Hmm. I suppose I can let it pass, for now. /strong-amusement/ In the half-second between starting and finishing her sentence, she was reminded of the piece of trivia she had recently learned about how Raqi liked nicknames. She therefore decided to take the opportunity to slip in one small tease before letting Raqi go: Little bird. /teasing/ A fraction of a second later, the headspace abruptly destabilised and then collapsed. Following that, Punica was bombarded with such a high level of emotional feedback with Raqi that she momentarily thought the girl was having a heart attack. Her <excitement> levels, followed promptly by <arousal>, <submissiveness>, and <need> spiked so high that her head started swam for a moment, and the affini felt the xenosophont's real body's fingers abruptly flex while her legs also twitched spontaneously. As seconds passed and the initial spike calmed down, she felt Raqi's presence fixated on hers with all the intensity of a deer in headlights; the swill of emotions finally merging together and seeming to settle primarily on <need>. Punica realised abruptly that, without even meaning to, she had found the string of syllables she had been looking for. I believe we have ensured as much as we are able that our plan to create a barrier around your core self has worked. /desire/ Y- Yeah. M-me too. <eagerness; excitement; need> Well, then. Punica felt her injectors starting to tingle. Shall we make a start on what we discussed earlier? Raqi's mindvoice was barely a whimper. Please. Finally, it was time that they both got what they wanted.
Book 2
withering away :: The Prism System :: Intoxicants :: Plurality :: please believe me :: Landamaeri Domestication Guide :: Hypnotic Centres :: The Domestication Initiative :: Affini Maturity :: bullying :: Memory Maker :: chronic fatigue syndrome :: Uplifting :: lingo :: optimisation :: Digitisation :: Iterations of the Self :: Conflict ::
Book 1
TerraTranslate :: Raqi Marr :: Punica Granatum :: The Affini Compact :: Landamar Mobile Fleet :: Hormone Replacement Therapy :: The Chimera Module :: Affini :: Intersidera :: Posters :: Magnesium :: Wonderland :: The Hundredth Time: Part I :: Communication :: aftermath :: Physical Confrontation :: Garments :: Interspecies Comparisons :: Touch :: Equality :: Hypnokink :: Speaking :: ahftrojn,lpijmnhfkg :: Pretheya :: Magic :: scared :: Materas Marr ::