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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ l o c a t e d
I D : : a f t e r m a t h
T Y P E: : E X P E R I E N T I A L
Raqi tossed and turned in bed, still tired despite having already rested an unknown length of time. Her body felt unpleasantly warm, and she was hyperaware of the sensation of the bed pres
afjkndghkjfghasjzxcnbbnlkp
N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ l o c a t e d
I D : : a f t e r m a t h
T Y P E: E X P E R I E N T I A L
sing against her skin. She tried to push it away, but her focus kept wandering. Her attention traced down the various points of contact, eventually finding its way to all the ones where Punica had been touching her earlier.
When she realised what she was doing, a lurch ran through her stomach.
No, she told herself firmly,
stop. Stop that right now. I do not want to think about that. Just shut up- stop doing that- and let me go to sleep.
She flipped over onto her other side, opening her eyes momentarily to reset her visualisations, then shutting them even tighter than before and willing herself to go to sleep.
. . .
She felt herself relaxing a bit. Her attention began to wander, images playing out across her mind's eye as they always did at these times. Flashes of random memories; the hallway outside her bedroom, some plants in the garden, the stage for her play, Punica, the way Punica had caught her after she'd fallen, the way Punica had held her tight in her vines and how good it had felt on her skin, the way Punica had stared down at her while her eyes
pulsed-
Oh, for fucksakes, stop it! Raqi tried to push the image from her mind, but this time it wasn't working.
I don't want to think about this! Just let me sleep! I- I am not- I am *not* going to do that! A hiss of anger ran through her mindspace.
I have not in my entire life done *that* to- to thoughts of another person! It's disgusting to even consider, and nothing about the present situation changes that in any way! Just fuck OFF already, and let me go to sleep!
She tossed and turned again, but it didn't help at all. The image of Punica's golden eyes was stuck in her mind's eye, and she couldn't get it out.
The memory alone was doing things to her. She could remember in vivid, pristine detail the way that they had
pulsed with a light unlike anything else she had ever seen. She had been able to sense exactly what emotions the display had been intended to convey, and there had been nothing in the slightest bit sexual about it. Dominant, certainly; but not in that way. But oh, had Raqi
interpreted it that way. That jarring cognitive dissonance had been a good two thirds of why she had been able to snap out of it in the end; the horror at how inappropriate her feelings for the plant were having grown so strong that they were able to snap her out of enthrallment. Her own disgust for herself, and the terror at what unforgivable thoughts she might produce did she not stop herself, had been what had fuelled the visualisation of that pillar.
It's wrong, and I shouldn't feel this way. I don't *want* to feel this way. Feeling this way is disgusting, and-
A hand was brushing over the front of her trousers. Little shivers were running down her body, and her lip and jaw were both trembling.
No, no, stop- stop. Stop. Don't do this. I need to not do this. I can't- I cannot do this. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's-
Her hand slid under her own garments. All of her thoughts fell silent, her breath catching in her throat, as a moment later fingers touched against much softer skin. They found purchase, and then-
h- hh.
Raqi's entire perspective shifted. Her lips pressed together, the quivering abating only momentarily as her entire body began to arch. The disgust and fear seemed to be obliterated all at once, as a familiar altered state settled in over her mind.
She always got like this, any time she started touching herself. No matter how much she wanted to hate it, it physically was not possible for her to do so. She had spent
years of her life trying to, and she had never once been able to do it. The feeling of touch- the pressure that slowly started building, the
warmth that ran throughout her entire body in a tight and pleasant burning that set her skin alight, the breathlessness- and most of all, the way her mind seemed to suddenly grow so sedate and calm, focused on only one thing to the exclusion of all else.
Her breath caught, and a realisation dawned on her. She
did want to feel this way. She wanted to feel this way very, very,
very badly, and now that she was, there was nothing that was going to stop her from continuing to feel that way.
Her mind turned almost desperately back to the image of Punica's eyes.
Fuck, why were they so pretty? Why did they look s-so- so nice? Her hand moved a bit faster, pressing more firmly against her more sensitive spots in line with her visualising; almost as if she were coordinating the pleasure to come in time with how well she imagined Punica's eyes.
I- Oh, Inos, *fuck*- I wanted to get lost in them so fucking badly, Inos- Inos, fuck, I wanted her to brainwash me with those so fucking badly hhhhahhnhn-
It felt good. It felt good and she liked it. She wanted Punica to do this to her. She
needed Punica to do this to her.
Fuck, please- please please, fuck, please please hypnotise me please please hypnotise me I want you to do this to me so badly please please please I need this I need to get hypnotised by you please I wanna- I wanna get lost in those fucking eyes I want to get so lost in those eyes- I want t-to get s-s-stuck inside of them and- and have them eat me and- and go inside me and just fucking take me over and-
The higher the crescendo of pleasure, the stupider it felt like she became. Rational thought melted away into a delirious desire for more pleasure, and it was impossible to stop the babbling that she was producing.
please please please please fuck please I need it I need it so bad I need you to control me I need you to mould me I need you to change me I need to be broken I need to be broken I need to be broken ineedtobebrokenineedtobebrokenineedtobebroken breakmebreakmebreakmebreakmepleasebreakmebreakmepleasepleasepLEASE-
Just as she was at the edge, she imagined something Punica had said.
"Everything that you have to show me, I would witness."
"All that, and more."
She came
hard. Teeth bit down on her lip as she pushed down a whimper, body rocking back and forth under her covers as she spasmed and convulsed. More wordless, animal noises of ecstasy played out across her mind - the one place she could sound the way she wanted to without the fear that her voice would betray her - for several long moments, before finally the pleasure began to subside, and her head sank into her pillow.
She fell asleep within minutes.
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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ t e r m i n a t e d
