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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ l o c a t e d
I D : : S p e a k i n g
T Y P E: : R E C O L L E C T I V E
Okay, so: there's this thing- technique is I guess the right word for it, although I hate that because it makes it sound too fancy- that I picked up a while ago while writing I think.
It has a name, but uhm, I don't want to mention it because it's embarrassing, and also it's probably not
actually called that; like what I mean is, I probably wasn't the first person who figured out how to do this and there probably
is a name for it somewhere and I just don't know it, so the name for it is just one that I made up myself but- Okay look whatever! Moving on!
So, landamaeri emotions are a bit weird to unpack. Emotions get this reputation as mysterious and kind of unknowable, in the sense that people don't usually understand the exact triggers for them, and also that you can't fully control them yourself. They are, in a sense, a thing that happens
to you, rather than something you do yourself. A part of this is that most people, I believe anyway, don't really understand how to induce emotional states in other people. This comes up a lot when someone is upset, and they want to be comforted; a lot of people do not know what actions will be perceived as comforting, and basically don't know how to help that person to stop being upset.
It's kind of amazing how non-innate this kind of information actually is. You might say that knowing to hug someone when they're crying is fairly obvious, and yeah, sure; I think that'd come naturally to most people in-person. But what about over text? If someone is really upset, do you know what to tell them to make them feel better? Most people I've met in my life don't have a clue. The best that 99% of the people I've met have been able to come up with is something like "I'm sorry", or "that sucks", or "*hugs.*" Which to be fair is about all most people do in real life, but our bodies are hardwired to release stop-being-sad chemicals when you get hugged; so that makes it a lot easier to get away with this level of ineptitude in person.
This has lead me to believe that most peoples' understanding of how to influence other landamaeris' emotional states is purely instinctual. Their understanding both starts and stops at the knowledge that hugging people makes them feel better, loud noises and shouting are scary, smiling is friendly, and a few other things like that. I think that as well, a lot of people who only know how to interface emotionally at this level don't actually realise there is more to it than this; they think this is it, that it doesn't go any further beyond that.
Well, I spent a really, really long time thinking about this. I think I first became aware of it when I was thinking about a combination of things; music theory, and literature. It's pretty well understood that music can evoke emotional states in people, and it's possible you've heard a variant on the phrase 'words are magic.' I think people who write or compose music tend to have a more developed understanding and awareness of the fact that you can very much directly induce emotions in people, and that shows in how the best compositions and the best stories both do good jobs of making you feel things.
For my part, though... I think it's on account of just how much time I spend talking to people over text, rather than in a medium where I can hear them, but I've learned to sort of 'keep track' of what the emotions in a person's 'tone of voice' are, even when they're not actually speaking? It only works if you know someone well enough that you can tell when there are small deviations in their normal way of talking, but you can learn to infer emotions just from text. Anyway, my point in saying this is: I tend to experience this sort of 'overlay' in my head any time I'm talking to someone. It manifests usually as an abstract bunch of colours that don't consistently map to any particular emotion, but they always feel appropriate to whatever I register as the feeling in the conversation at the time.
What I eventually realised is that these connections map to words as well. In the end, it became this kind of situation where... I could
see the other person- or, rather, their emotional state- in my head, and also feel it as well. And conversation stopped being simple words, and instead, the words became a medium to communicate emotion. If you wanted to make the other person feel a specific way, then you would type this; if you wanted to make them feel another way, you would type that. It took me so long to notice it, because it seems like I've been doing this for years naturally, and just didn't ever think anything of it.
In the first place, it only works with a willing participant. You have to tone match perfectly with the other person, and if they get at all uncomfortable with what you're doing, the whole thing breaks apart and stops working. It doesn't work without setup, as well: I've only ever used- well, I guess on some level I do it any time I'm talking, but I mean the
proper version of it- when someone was being very open with me. Either when they were feeling vulnerable and I wanted to reassure them and make them feel better, or simply because I wanted to foster a sense of connection with them.
I can't really explain beyond that. It's just... strange, conceptualising interactions between other people in that way. Voices are warm or cold, words are coloured, and the actual sounds and meanings don't matter compared to the emotional undercurrent. I know that this isn't the way most people experience communication, on account of how confused they get when I stop masking and start talking in the way that comes naturally to me. There've been one or two people that found it downright terrifying. I still remember talking to this one girl who couldn't believe how easily I could tell what she was feeling, even when she thought she wasn't indicating it that clearly. The sensation of having someone able to
see you like that frightened her so much that she had to run away; I think because she was worried what I might see or do to her if she stayed. Being known is, well, like that.
...I wish she hadn't been so afraid, though. Most everyone I meet is so scared of having people look inside of them, because they're worried that somebody will see what's there and judge them for it. But how could I, of all people, ever judge anyone for what is inside of their soul? Inos knows it can't be any worse than what's in mine.
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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ t e r m i n a t e d
