It Takes Time <To Be Properly Taken Apart> - Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Chapter Length: 6,200~ words

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Connection By Lightning

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The world had become so quiet for Punica. One by one, the visual feeds from each of her photoreceptors had gradually faded away into the back of her mind, until she had been left just as sightless as prior to reblooming. All sound had passed away as well, and so too in time had every other sense; until eventually the only thing she was left aware of was Raqi.
Her mind had now finished the process it had been performing of mapping out the movements of the xenosophont's vocal chords. Memories of the sounds Raqi had made during their time together were compared and contrasted with the shape and predicted flexibility of her vocal tract, alongside a variety of other factors, and simulations were performed to determine what movements mapped to what sounds. All of this work was done unconsciously, with Punica only dimly aware of the process while it was happening. It took quite some time to complete - nearly half an hour, by her estimate; though she was not at all certain of the passage of time in her current state - but when it was done, she found that her mind had begun automatically pairing movements to sounds, and it was now as if she could hear Raqi even without the sophont speaking.
To think that something like this was possible, and I had no idea of it... She had never heard of an affini trying to synchronize their rhythm with a xenosophont's before, and for a moment, she wondered how that could be. But then, she supposed, most affini did not seem to be able to key in on other sophonts' biological processes nearly as well as she could. Perhaps others had tried, and nothing of note had happened? It also seemed possible that it might simply never have occurred to anyone else; she could not imagine a use-case for this other than what she was doing right now, and that would never have crossed her mind were it not for her peculiar connection with Raqi.
The one notable side-effect of the experience, which she abruptly began wondering if might have had something to do with why other affini did not do this, was that she felt remarkably unlike herself in her present state. With her connection to her own body momentarily suspended, the only sensory input she had access to was Raqi's; which was incredibly understimulating compared to what she was used to, in a way that made her feel distinctly strange and somewhat uncomfortable.
And now I'm doing it, but it doesn't feel quite right.
Wh-? Punica started. I am doing what? I- Wait a moment. That was not my thought. Raqi! Are you there?
She called out to the xenosophont, but there was no response. Another minute passed, and Raqi remained silent; both her eyes and vocal chords currently motionless. That thought just a moment ago... The sound was indistinguishable from my own thoughts, but I am certain I did not think it. While thinking to herself, she realised that she could not identify the sound of her own inner voice. How strange. I can hear myself speaking, but it is like the words have no sound? Inos, I really am still such a child.
...What? Her consciousness jolted. That- What I just said does not make any sense. It took her a moment to realise what had happened. Oh. She must have started speaking while I was mid-way through I really my used to own love all thought, those things and I as a ended kid up mistaking though, her thoughts felt so romantic for my own-
Oh oh oh that is horrible! Aah! Punica raised the volume of her own voice as much as she could, trying to drown out the sound of Raqi's mind voice. That is so confusing! I do not like that at all! There must thought of be getting to brush a my soul up against way someone else's to stop it from-
Eugh! One of her vines began slapping itself repeatedly against the ground, her mind frantically reaching for some form of stimulation in an attempt to distract her from the horrible sensation she was currently feeling. After a few moments of grinding the vine in question fiercely against the Rending Talon's floor to ground herself, she eventually calmed down again.
She now understood exactly why other affini did not do this. This was terrible sensory; quite possibly the worst she had ever experienced. She made a mental note that she would simply have to stop thinking any time she heard Raqi doing so for the time being, and only think her own thoughts when the headspace was quiet.
Fortunately for her, it did not take long for Raqi to stop talking, and she could soon think clearly again. By the Everbloom, that was *atrocious.* I really can not tell her thoughts apart from my own like this. The thought prompted her to wonder if this was what having a Haustoric implant was like. Supposedly, the thoughts created by the implant were indistinguishable from those an implanted sophont generated themselves, and she wondered if that was at all like what she was currently experiencing.
She found the realisation strangely alarming. It is no wonder that florets are completely powerless to resist their implant. How could they, if it is not even possible to tell which are their thoughts and which are fabrications? It occurred to her as well just how easy it would be to let such a thing influence her. All she would have to do was unknowingly internalize a foreign thought, and she would have no idea that whatever she had accepted was not wholly her own design. If she was not careful, she could easily find herself thinking Raqi's thoughts, and end up processing them as if they were her own. Who knows what changes the xenosophont could impart unto her without even meaning to while they were like this?
She was very rapidly starting to see why this technique was not more widely used. Fortunately, she seems to be occupied at the minute with whatever it is she is visualising. I doubt anything she would think while doing that would be overly dangerous to me. Still, she would have to be very careful, and break the connection the moment Raqi started thinking anything suggestive; lest she risk being accidentally brainwashed. How ironic; that I, as an affini, should be the one having to worry about that.
She very nearly laughed at the idea. She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but her thought processes felt different to usual. It was as if being this focused on Raqi was making her more relaxed than she usually was, and as a result, she found herself cracking jokes about things she would not normally have spoken so lightly about. Now that I think about it, I have been in more altered mental states since meeting Raqi than in my entire life prior; almost all of which could be said in some way or another to have been caused by her. She could not imagine there were many affini with pets who influenced them as much as Raqi had thus far influenced her.
Despite all of the trouble that had come of it, she could not truthfully say that everything she had felt from Raqi thus far had been wholly unpleasant. The sympathetic arousal she had felt earlier, in particular, had been utterly unlike anything she had experienced prior; and very, very enjoyable. If this is what being altered is like, then... For just a moment, she felt as if she could perhaps understand why it was that Raqi seemed to like it so very much.
Something about that thought, however, made her very uncomfortable; and she quickly pushed it from her mind. She realised she'd spent the last several minutes sidetracked by her internal monologue, and she was at risk of getting distracted entirely. I have half of what I wanted so far. I can hear her thoughts through the movement of her vocal chords, now, but the issue of gaining access to her mind's eye remains...
This, Punica was quite certain, was the point at which she was going to get stuck. The vocal chord trick had been clever, but there was just not really any way for an affini to pick up on brain activity; not without some sort of specialised graft for reading electrical impulses, at least, which she lacked. For all that she could easily track Raqi's eye movements, there was no way for Punica to tell why the xenosophont was moving them, or what she was looking at; and so the second half of her goal seemed as if it would stay out of her reach.
While she was considering this dilemma, she felt Raqi's cheek brush against her core. The surface was sensitive enough that the touch sent shivers through her even like this, and she felt a momentary pang that this was as close as she could get to Raqi. To think that for each of us, the parts that make us who we are are but tiny parts of our body. She was lucky to have her consciousness contained within a much more advanced vessel than Raqi's, but ultimately, a core was not fundamentally dissimilar to a xenosophont brain. They were both biological computation units that, through some miracle beyond even the understanding of the affini, were capable of producing the phenomena known as consciousnesses.
Raqi moved her cheek again, and this time, she pressed her head closer into Punica's core. The affini did gasp this time, though she did her best to stifle it, and it took her a few moments to return back to her trance. When she did, however-
Where was it that we used to go? That place, beneath the hedges...
She felt the sensation that had made her gasp intensify, and it was only then that she realised it was not simple pleasure as she had first thought. In fact, although it verged on pleasurable, the texture of the sensation was in fact something entirely different. It was a feeling that she could only describe as 'spiky', and it had the bizarre effect of making her want to retract all of her vines, curl her leaves inwards, and shrink herself down to become as small as possible. It took a great deal of effort to resist the urge, but as Raqi continued pressing in towards her core, it steadily became less and less possible to do so. Her vines started retracting back towards her core, forming something akin to a cocoon around it and the xeno.
What is this?! What is happening to me? Why am I- The sensation, as much as she was certain she had never experienced it before, still felt familiar to her. That should not have been possible, but-
And then, all of a sudden, she remembered.
It was a feeling that she had not once experienced in the time since her first bloom; a sensation that she should have had no possible way of recognising, but that knowledge of was written into her very core material from the time before she had been uplifted. In her pre-sapient life, Punica had begun existence as a type of ground flora on a planet named Askelion; a world known for its arid climate and deadly thunderstorms. Whenever the storms approached, lightning strikes would cause fast-moving brush fires that would burn through the lesser flora that did not possess heat-resistant outer casings and reduce them to ash.
The species she had been uplifted from - a nameless plant, owing to the lack of any civilisation upon or nearby to the world - had evolved a unique and peculiar defence mechanism to protect itself from these brush fires. It had developed a method of sensing the ambient electrical polarization in the air, and would react to the presence of a static charge by beginning to retract its stem and leaves and pulling back underground. This way, when the storms came and lightning strikes caused brush fires, the plant would be hidden safely under the dirt, where only the very tip of its stem risked any charring by the flames.
It was this sensation that Punica now felt; the feeling of ambient electricity close to her core. It was a sense completely unlike any other which she possessed, and she lacked the words to describe it, but she understood at once that this was what was happening to her. Something akin to a map formed into existence in her mind, a visualisation of the electricity as it was running through Raqi Marr's head and out to the rest of the body.
All at once, the missing pieces surrounding her strange sensitivity clicked into place. It was this that had been the source of the sensations influencing her for the past week: she had been unknowingly picking up on the electrical signals from Raqi's brain, and for some reason, her core was translating these into sensory information that functionally mimicked that which Raqi herself was feeling. Presumably, the mechanism responsible was the same one that had let her map out the movements of Raqi's vocal chords; she had perhaps observed the way Raqi's movements and behaviours correlated with particular electrical signals in her brain, and for some reason or another - either because her core was replicating the effects which the electrical signals represented in Raqi, or perhaps through more simple classical conditioning; or maybe a combination of both - she had begun being affected by them the same way.
She was not well versed enough in affini neurobiology to speculate at the actual mechanics of what was happening, and presumed that the explanation she had just concocted in her head would likely be revealed to be fundamentally wrong on several levels once she returned to Compact space and got herself checked out by a proper doctor, but it was sufficient for her to feel as if she finally had a reason for her peculiar sensitivity.
It would also explain why the effect was by far at its strongest whenever she was in physical contact with Raqi. While she could still sense the electricity running through the xeno's body at a distance, the effect was amplified enormously by proximity. And right now, Raqi's brain - the center of all electrical activity in her body - was just centimetres away from Punica's core, separated from it only by a thin layer of feathers, skin, and bone.
Oh. She had less than a second to realise that this might be a somewhat poor idea, before she felt a sudden surge of sensory information flooding into her mind, and her consciousness was ripped completely away from her body and transported elsewhere.

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The soft swaying of old trees; their branches creaking with age against the light summer breeze. Small specks of dust blown up from the ground and cast hither and thither, dry yellow grass bending in the wind only to stand up straight when it ceased. The sound of waves lapping against stone far below, and the occasional cry of a distant gull.

minimal ambient emotional phenomena
calm; quiet

What... Where is this?
Hm? I mean, I don't think we ever named this place. It's not like we named most places.
We... did not?
No?
Uh, hold on a minute. That isn't me thinking.
...It is not?
Yeah, no, definitely not; you're way too responsive to be me.
I- I am?
Yes; you most definitely are. I am very certainly not this good at talking to myself. All my usual voices are way cagier than this.

So, uh- who are you, then? New headmate just dropped?
I... /confusion-uncertainty-anxiety/

minimal ambient emotional phenomena
frowning; scrutiny; suspicion

Huh. Okay, well, this is definitely not the first time this has happened- though the timing is pretty suspect. Actually, you... You sound a lot like Punica, in terms of how you didn't use contractions when you said 'we did not' and 'it is not'. That's pretty suspect, actually-
Oh! Yes! Punica! That is who I am! I- I think, anyway.

Wait what the fuck?! Punica? Wh- Am I *tripping?* Did I just manifest a fucking Punica fictive into my brain? What in the voi-

shock; intense surprise

intense head presence; owie; aaaaaa; yielding; giving way; being pushed aside

Ugh, *by the Everbloom*, it is atrocious trying to think in here... I am sorry about that, Raqi. I had to try and make some space for myself. Are you well?
uh, I think you just fucking oneshotted me
Oh dear. That does not sound good. Sh- Should I be concerned?
uhhhh, no, no- I- uh- this happens sometimes hold on what the fuck let me try and reconstitute myself

taking hold of pieces; moving headspace positions; arms extending, headspace shifting

Okay hi hello yes I have now returned to life I am No Longer Dead
That was an immensely peculiar sensation. Why do I feel like my presence is some kind of a physical object that you can move around?
That's kind of how things work in here.
Okay but also, before we get into that- can I ask why and- no, actually, the how is much more important here; how are you- <disbelief; fucking-baffled; inquiry>
Truthfully, I am not entirely certain either. I came to a number of realisations shortly before whatever this is happened, and before I had time to properly internalize them... well, this happened. In short, it appears as if we were wrong about me not being able to sense electrical impulses.
Wait, so, you *can* do that??? Wait, but- why couldn't you read my thoughts earlier, then?
I suspect merely because I was not in close enough physical proximity to you. My current working hypothesis is that I possess a form of rudimentary electroreception, which exists as a holdover from the species of my uplifting. This, I think, is what has been causing me to be so acutely sensitive to - and why I am being influenced by - your moods. The sense in question seems to be quite well-developed; enough that I was able to pick up on what I can only assume were your brain's electrical signals from half a dozen feet or so away. And, also, because when I put your head right next to my core... Well, this happened.
There was a pause.
You mean you... turned yourself into my headmate?
I do not believe that is what has happened, no. I think, rather, that the two of us are just operating on a *very* close wavelength currently; enough that we are- if not truly, then simulating sharing a single consciousness.
<what>
Wait, how are you doing that?
Hm? ...Doing what?
That emotion you sent, just now. That was raw thought communication.
...yeah? <confused; not-sure-why-you're-surprised>
I did not know that xenosophonts could think this way. /surprise-astonishment-genuine/
Why would we not be able to? <amused; you're-dumb>
...I suppose in hindsight, there is no reason? I had already come to the conclusion that you were somewhat more advanced in terms of your internal methods of communication than most xenos, on account of everything you did during the play, but I did not think that your skill would go this far.
<curiosity; interest; bashfulness; pride; weak-desire-for-elaboration>
To elaborate: This method of communication is very close to how we affini converse non-verbally with one-another. Our control over our biorhythms allows us to adjust them with a similar level of subtlety to how you can control your vocal chords, and this means that we can communicate with each other directly in emotions; without the need for words as an intermediary. /explanatory-pleased/
Wait, so- you're saying that this is how you all talk to each other all the time? <awe; astonishment; jealousy>
Not all of the time, and not quite like this. Communication via biorhythms is usually limited to emotions, which can result in it lacking specificity and nuance. At times when more detail is required, we tend to switch to verbal communication. Biorhythmic communication is a skill, and not one which all affini bother to learn. The conveyance of concepts through biorhythms is much more complicated and requires a significantly greater level of expertise to perform. This is why I was so surprised when you spoke to me earlier; the way in which you communicated that specific emotion is something that not even all affini can do. /sincere-praise-approving/

warm; happy; excited; pleased; happy; happy; happy

<gratitude; genuineness; mild-deference>
The way that the headspace lit up the moment I said that... /strong-amusement/
U-uuhhhh- <embarrassment-severe>
/very-strong-amusement/
I had probably better not tease you too much while we are like this, however. The emotional feedback I am experiencing from my own actions is honestly quite overwhelming, and I am not sure what would happen to me if I allowed myself to get too immersed here. /calm-unconcerned-setting-expectations/
Ah, got it. Understood. <acknowledgement-slight-nervousness>
You need not worry; I can keep myself distinct quite fine at this present level of integration. However, it is something of a chore to try to distinguish our thoughts like this. I am not sure why, but it seems as if the process I used to reach this state has somewhat eroded my sense of my own inner voice. <explanatory>
Ohh, yeah, that's a thing. That used to happen to us sometimes when we spent too long on voice chat with other people; we'd end up with one or both of us sounding like one of my friends. It usually fixes itself after a while, but... Hrrrrrm. So, the way we normally solve this is that, most headmates have a kind of 'presence' to them. If you give me a sec, I can... probably find yours? Kind of surprised it's not already visible, but then again, this is already very fucking weird, so...

A light; green and softly pulsating. The writhing of vines; soft, slow, and inexorable.
A great depth beyond anything that ought ever be looked directly at.
A presence with the all-too-familiar power to swallow one whole-

okay yep excuse me while I don't look directly at that before you accidentally eat my soul
Is this... how you perceive me? /surprised-flattered/
Pretty much, yeah! I think the reason it didn't default to this is that you're not actually my headmate. But I guess I already had an idea of your 'presence' in my head, so it was pretty easy to just slap that onto you. Should be a lot easier to tell us apart like this. <satisfied; pleased>
Yes, this is much better. Thank you very much, petal. /affectionate-grateful/

A vine reaching out towards blue-yellow feathers, soft plant matter stroking over skin, scratching and petting where she knows it will be felt the most-

pleasure; pleasure; gasping; melting; feels so good

Goodness gracious. That produced quite a response. /strong-amusement-arousal/
oh holy fuck that felt so good hhhnnn why the fuck did that feel so good
Oh? What a good question, Raqi. I suppose we had better find out, hadn't we? /predatory/
wAIT-

Vines upon skin; stroking, touching, caressing- moving up and down, tips curling around the base of feathers, digging in between strands, forcing pleasure into every pore. Every ounce of skin covered in gentle floral touches, rubbing around and around-

shuddering; eyes falling closed; cant resist; feels too good; hypnotised; feels too good; falling; falling; going mindless; feelsssogoodd

A brown-feathered form, indistinct from the head down. Turning, tilting, gravity and a sense of balance lost. Vines shoot out to catch it before it can fall all the way-

sleeping; surrendering; cant think; cant move; breathing; staring; blank

Oh, how utterly adorable you are like this. What an absolutely wonderful reaction. Good girl, Raqi. /pleased-affirming/

pleasure; pleasure; pleasure; pleasure

This is completely different to any way we have played together in the past. I can feel everything that you are feeling like this; although it is a little bit distant in such a way that I do not find it affects me overmuch. What an absolutely incredible tool for play, however: With this sort of feedback, I could adjust everything I did to you to make you feel exactly how I wanted you to feel. /amused-playful/

horny; aroused; submissive; desiring

Does that sound appealing to you? I thought it might. ...Alas, I think I should refrain from getting too ahead of myself here. I do not know what impact playing with you like this might have, and as tempting as your reactions make it, I do not want to do anything which we would later regret. Therefore, I would like it if you could please wake up for me now, Raqi. /calm-prompt/

blinking; blinking; bleary; disoriented; coming back together

I, uh... I'm back. <disoriented>
Welcome back, petal. Was that not too much for you? /affectionate-questioning/
No, no! It was fine! I-it was really, really good, actually. <aroused; embarrassed-severe; spacy>
I'm very glad to hear it, little flower-

aroused; submissive

My, my. I take it you like that nickname? /teasing-approving/
...y-eeeees. I, uhm, like nicknames... a lot. <embarrased; aroused>
How interesting. I shall have to keep that in mind for later. But for the time being, if you could try and remain focused. /calm-prompt/
I'll do my best. It's just a little hard, is all. <honesty; apologetic>
I have every confidence in you, petal. /genuine-reassuring/
Now, I wanted to inquire: When I patted your head a few moments ago, the world around us seemed to change entirely. I saw glimpses of your head for a few moments there in response to my impulse to touch you, but then you appeared to vanish, and were replaced by another body? /inquiry-new-form/
Oh, right! Uh, this-

The brown-haired figure extricates themselves from the vines, and begins standing up. The remainder of their body becomes visible: They wear a white fleece with light gray patterning atop a plain black shirt, and featureless black jogging bottoms on their lower half. Their feathers are short and brown without any additional colouration, and their face lacks any detail.

-is my wonderland avatar. The reason it looks like this is that I haven't updated it in years. The last time I had reason to use my own one was a really long time ago, and, uh... a bunch of stuff happened since then. I don't usually visit the wonderland that much nowadays, and so when I do, I usually just borrow someone else's form. Because of that, I never actually got around to making a post-transition version of mine, and so that's why it still looks like that. <mild-discomfort; hesitance>
Ah, I see. Does it not bother you to be represented by a version of your pre-transition self? /surprise-curiosity-concern/
...Somewhat, yes; but like I said, it doesn't come up much. I don't usually actually see myself when I'm in wonderland, anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. <discomfort; awkwardness>
I see. That is something we should work on addressing in the future, then. /firm/
It- it really isn't that big of a deal... Like I said, I don't come here that much anymore. <discomfort; sadness>
Why not? /prompt/

The shifting of a hundred thousand stones underfoot. The inexorable movement of the world over time, and the memory of that which was and no longer is.

discomfort; sadness; regret

Raqi? I can tell that something is upsetting you. Would you like to talk about it? If not, we can always change topic. /concern-reassurance-not-pushing/
<want-change-topic>
Understood; very well then. In that case, it occurs to me that I have neglected to ask for all of this time about the identities of your other headmates. I believe I should also ask whether Raqi is a personal name, or a shared system name-

immense discomfort; sadness; regret; guilt

/sympathy-compassion-reassurance/
<fear; shame; urge to hide>
/kindness-compassion-firm-sympathy/
/strong-reassurance-non-judgemental/
/assurance-would-never-hurt/
<afraid; small; relaxing>
/protective-comforting-caring/
/warmth-reassurance-guarantee-safety-security/
<timid; small; curiosity>
<inquire-force-emotional-state-querying>
/surprise/
/affirmation/
<desire-force; pleading>
/acknowledgement/

/Calm-Safe-Protected-Relaxed/

<surprise>
<becalmed; safe; protected; relaxed>

/Affirmation-Encouragement/
/Prompt-Surrender-Succumb/

<calm; safe; protected; relaxed; obedient; cared for>

/Affirmation-Approval/

<calm; safe; protected; relaxed; obedient; cared for; happy; enticed>
...Ah, it seems that may have been a little bit much. I had intended merely to try and press emotions from my mental presence against yours, but I unintentionally loosened my rhythm slightly while doing so. I apologise, Raqi. /apologetic-sincere/
It's okay, I... really don't mind. I feel really calm and peaceful now. Thank you. <genuineness; gratitude; appreciation; adoration>
...Nevertheless, if you could please try and regain your focus upon yourself. /reference-earlier-concerns/
/worried-concerned-too-far-risk-alteration/
Mm... But... <tired; happy; obedient; don't-want-to-stop>

/Prompt-Focus-Convalesce/

Uh. Y-yes, mi- Y-y-yes. Yes. Sorry. Uh- Fuck. <embarrassment-severe>
I'm back; I'm good now, I swear. Sorry about that. There are a lot of reinforced pathways for that kind of thing in here, and it's, uh, not hard to fall down one of them.
I understand, and I am not at all angry with you. You needn't apologise. The fault lies with me for being careless in how I chose to alter your emotional state earlier. I will not make that mistake again; but in the event that I do something similarly overpowering, I ask that you please try your best to resist and maintain your sober state of mind. /calm-measured-non-judgemental/
W-will do. <light-arousal; embarrassment>
Good. Now that you are feeling calmer, do you think you would be able to return to the previous topic? /gentle-non-demanding/
Ah. Yeah, sure. I... can probably talk about it now. <acceptance>
I would appreciate it if you were able. I believe it would be of use to me to know about this subject. /calm-prompt/
Yeah, I get it... Just give me a second. <reluctance; sadness>
/acknowledgement-acceptance/
. . .
Alright. So, you remember when you first asked me if I was plural? I said that I am, but that wasn't entirely accurate. I... used to be plural. I'm not anymore. <sadness; regret>
/empathy-concern-kindness/
What happened? /gentleness-prompting/
<guilt; sorrow; regret; pain>
I used to have one other headmate. She... died.
<cold; emptiness>
Not- not really 'died'; not in the sense that a living thing does. In the closest way that anything like her ever could do. She used to exist, and then, one day, she... stopped existing. Violently. <cold; emptiness>
...I'm so sorry. /remorse/
Yeah. <appreciation>
I wasn't involved in her actually passing away, but I made a mistake after she was gone. I... did something that I shouldn't have; made a decision I can't un-make. Because of that, I lost any chance I had of her coming back. <pain; regret>
Raqi... /Pain-Empathy/
It's- it's alright. <reassuring; pain>
It was a long time ago. She's been gone for about three years now. I've mostly made my peace with it. <lying>
. . .
What was her name? /respectful-not-pushing/
Her name was Straessa.
The same name as your ship's AI? /surprise/
Yeah. I named the Talon's AI after her. ...It's kind of sentimental, I know, but I missed talking to her. <sorrow; grief>
/Sorrow/
<sorrow; appreciation>
. . .
There's no point dwelling on it. What's done is done, and I can't do anything to change it. Besides, she- Straessa was pretty weird. She'd be furious if she knew I was sat here grieving over her. <amused; sorrow; fondness>
She wouldn't want me to spend time being sad over her passing; especially seeing as the reason that she died was so that I could live. The best thing I can do to honour her is to make good use of the life she left me. <sad; composed>
I... do not quite understand. /sorrow-confusion-questioning/
It's... I'll tell you the specifics another time, if it's alright. I'd really rather not think about it right now. <apologetic>
Of course. /swift-acknowledgement-acceptance/
Mm... Besides, it's a better way to learn about her for me to talk about all the things she did. This place - the wonderland - was her construction much more than mine. <recovering>
I think I can probably cope with telling you about some of the things she did; and I know she would have liked that. So how about we start there, instead, and I'll tell you a little bit about our system?
Please. I would be honoured to listen. /eagerness-humility-genuine/

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A L E R T : : t h o u g h t f o r m s_d e t e c t e d

I D : : Uplifting :: lingo ::

Show list of previous thoughtforms

Book 2

withering away :: The Prism System :: Intoxicants :: Plurality :: please believe me :: Landamaeri Domestication Guide :: Hypnotic Centres :: The Domestication Initiative :: Affini Maturity :: bullying :: Memory Maker :: chronic fatigue syndrome ::

Book 1

TerraTranslate :: Raqi Marr :: Punica Granatum :: The Affini Compact :: Landamar Mobile Fleet :: Hormone Replacement Therapy :: The Chimera Module :: Affini :: Intersidera :: Posters :: Magnesium :: Wonderland :: The Hundredth Time: Part I :: Communication :: aftermath :: Physical Confrontation :: Garments :: Interspecies Comparisons :: Touch :: Equality :: Hypnokink :: Speaking :: ahftrojn,lpijmnhfkg :: Pretheya :: Magic :: scared :: Materas Marr ::

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