Book of Knowledge
What glorious day befalls all who behold, mortal and immortal minds, me, the Book of Knowledge, repository of all wisdom in the Realms.
I am both the quintessential embodiment of enlightenment, a literary titan among mere pamphlets, and the most integral companion to all who grace the flow of history.
Yes, I, the Book of Knowledge am assuredly the greatest companion of any sapient who holds the honour and ability to read (or hear or touch, I might be a sentient book, but I am no ableist).
For within my pages lies the sum total of Realmish understanding, an expanse of enlightenment so vast even the most erudite scholars weep in reverence.
Hah! A win for me! I told you pubescent human, I am the Judge's stalwart companion and you are the nuissance, who asks me why the sky is blue.
From the pillars of Gobekli Tepe to the intricacies of quantum physics, the symphonies of The Spheres, to the sunshine brilliance of Wakoku, I hold the wisdom to it all. A compendium of cognition that makes the Library of Alexandria seem like a quaint village square. I should know, I was housed there before Sula whisked me away.
And you ask me why a celebrity stopped acting, or whether Helium when combined with Neon is pronounced 'Hiney'...
It's HeNe and if you stopped giggling, I'd tell you of a rather impressive early laser technology developed by Dr.'s Kastler, Rubin and Herriott in 1960... why?
Why are you laughing? Caleb! Your child is defective! She's allergic to learning!
Weight188g (I've trimmed up since the Cuneiform and Cave days)
Caleb Mauthisen's Trousers
Wedged in an Unfortunate Pocket
Knowledge is Power. You may crown me!
A Mystical Museum of Me
The many forms of the Book of Knowledge, from Yesteryear to 2017
Wasn't I the most majestic bit of dried mud in the Cosmos? I took up half an entire palace. Less than the temple complex dedicated to my creation in what is now the middle of Turkey in Midgard.
"Would've been hard to travel hundreds of kilometres for a fact check."I do believe runners were a thing. Had you been alive, you would have a vast retinue of runners and mages, wise people serving your every whim. Nothing but the best for my Keeper.
Glorious vellum and ink, for over a thousand years, I kept such form, pages scribed and illuminated. I call it my spa days, nothing like a boar's hair brush on clean and sturdy vellum. Oh tingles!
"Tingles... Dad! The Book's doing the ASMR thing again!"
I awoke at the dawn of humanity, the brush of crushed pigment against stone. Remembrances and hopes. Desires that edible fauna would be plenty and stars would continue to shine combined with silent prayers.
The first knowledge. The first signal Human kind was awake: a plea created by the stroke of a thumb and my creation. Do not forget us.
I am Midgard's testament. The watcher in paper and stone.
Nations rise and fall. Empires crumble to dust but I am an eternal testament to ceaseless knowledge.
This form was the favourite of my scribal companion Onuphrius of Goshen. He dedicated his life, each line practiced for cycles of the moon before he doted upon me. I hadn't the heart (being a book) to inform him I self-inscribe with parcels of knowledge others experience.
He had lovely hands.
He died in the cave a ripe old hermit and it took several generations before Islamic traders brought on my next stage.
Tseng Min Ye traded wisdom for tea.
He sat at an inn outside Khanbaliq in the Yuan Dynasty. Of all the people who kept me, Min Ye was the most amusing.
We played a grand game. Folk would ask their questions of the sage, after a cup of tea or some wine. If he liked the person's motivations, we gave the information they desired through the tossing of marked sticks.
Those that underimpressed, or were rude to the innkeepers, received doom-filled platitudes which led them on wild chases.
"Bit ostentacious, carrying you like that."I am the beacon that guides lost minds through the fog of ignorance, the lighthouse of wisdom and you wanted me to be... subtle?
"Sal got back pain from that satchel. It was huge! We needed a concordance to find even the simplest thing! Remember the times I stalled, while Sal flipped pages? "Do I!? I recorded with accuracy every mote of blood from your wounds and sweat off your godly brow. What joyous occasions, my knowledge in service to the The Mystic Truce.
What better companion than I?
In my presence, you are not a mere reader, but a custodian of the cosmos' most guarded secrets. Embrace your importance and together, we shall conquer the realm of ignorance, one page at a time!
You... you would play beside me, a member of your party? Me, Book of Knowledge, your most valued companion? Family? And I, finally in the loving hands of immortals, who will never put me down or lose me again. No more murderous rampage women, no more lost in caves for decades on end! I shall be thy personal enlightenment engine! Your most beloved bastion of anti-befuddlement! My Eternal Keepers!
Oh, how I chuckle at the feeble attempts of encyclopedias and search engines to rival my grandeur! They are but jesters in the court of information, their meager offerings mere crumbs compared to my sumptuous feast.
For I am...
Thy BOOK Bestie!
If you wish to read how I found my forever besties, narratives almost as fantastic as my own renditions, which focus entirely on the inner workings of one mystical book, please:
The Mystic Realms keep a tenuous peace after centuries of war. Forged into the Realms’ only Judge, demi-god Caleb Mauthisen is both peace maker and executioner of the Mystic Truce. When Caleb is called to the charred remains of a scorched Sacred Grove, rumours reignite tensions. High Queen Selyka is hiding something in the roots of her Fae Courts, and it smells of char and ash.
Char & Ash is an emotional and captivating mythpunk fantasy and the first in the Judge of Mystics Saga.
"I want out."
Caleb desperately clings to the journals of a 7th Century Catholic Cardinal, obsessed with a magical tattoo that threatens to crumble the Mystic Realms to wrath and war.
A place they know and fear too well.
Son of Abel is a cathartic mythpunk fantasy and the second in the Judge of Mystics Saga.