Jerlooms: Down the Clown Hole

General Summary

Our Cast of Characters

• Kentaro Tamagotchi, Tiefling (Oni) Samurai (Shogun Archetype), portrayed by Jerry
• Raphael Harper, Aasimar (Azata) Oracle (Pei Zen Practitioner Archetype), portrayed by Derp
• Nodi Earthfall, Human Wizard (Evocation-Admixture School), portrayed by Toasted
• Chuffy Toesmasher, Goblin Unchained Monk (Master of Many Styles), portrayed by Dr. Feems
• Cricket, Human Witch (Rot Patron), NPC intern. She vomits suspiciously evil black liquid at random intervals. 
• Melia, Cecaelia Classless, NPC companion. She lives in a pool in a wagon. 
• Huugin, Nodi's raven familiar. His voice matches the person he last spoke to. Also, sometimes he steals their mannerisms. 
• Salem, Cricket's cat familiar. This thing is super evil. And seems totally chill with the death vomit. 
• Emilio, the party's faithful donkey companion. He was once a human student of Farangenor's who fucked up at transmutation so badly not even the master wizard can fix him. He's also the portal by which the Artifacts are sent back to Farangenor for destruction. 
• Sleppnir and Horsey McHorseface, the two light horses the party bought back in Brightlake Downing. They haven't been assigned arbitrary horse personalities yet. 
• Chuffy's hundred plus unhatched mystery reptile eggs. 

A Brief Overview

So basically, 2000 years ago this guy called Skaldor the Conqueror commissioned 144 magical artifacts that helped him conquer shit, and thus become the first Emperor of Evermore. Most were lost to time, and some cool dudes like the master wizard Farangenor and the immortal samurai Bushidoworked on a grand enchantment that would cause those who sought the artifacts to forget them. Now, the enchantment unravels with time, and several factions have sent hunters to find the artifacts by magically tracing "free radicals" that the things emit. Farangenor enlisted the party under the leadership of Kentaro to find them before others can, so that the powerful magic can be cast out of the world before someone uses them for evil ever again. Thus far, the party has found The Reaper's Staff, the Moonmist, The Advisor, and the Titan's Hammer (and sent all back to the wizard save the hammer). Along the way, they have met other hunters of the artifacts, made deals with devils, and fucked a shark person. Many and more adventures are in their future, but for now, we continue...

On The Road Again

The party departed The Shackles in high spirits. Jerry rolled the world event, we got 770 (The Agent). Which meant that once the party was setting up camp, they noticed a fey spy- a Redcap. With several shenanigans and a solid asswhooping, Chuffy got himself some big ol boots and a nice red hat to go with his new gatorskin outfit. Then in the morning, onward to Puerto Majesta!

Puerto Majesta

Ah, the failed site of an ancient Lisbethan colony, Puerto Majesta is a beautiful shining city of canals and islands. Forgot to mention that Rafi went unconscious at the same time the Redcap showed up and was glowing uncontrollably. Party took his soulless body to the Temple of Earthly Pleasures, a holy site of Lyrica. They were met by the sleepless Brother Befuddled who gladly took his "Blessed Brother" to safety in the Lazy River of Holy Relaxation, and gave the party a much-needed rest in the Chambers of Good Vibes (and for Nodi, the Office of Necessary Bureaucracy). B.B. explained that Rafi's soul was temporarily in Lyrica's realm for some sort of cosmic celebration and he would likely be there for some time, and offered to babysit the "Chosen Vessel" for the duration of his celestial siesta. That sorted (and leaving the B team behind to make sure that the Befuddled Brother Befuddled wouldn't accidentally let him drown in the lazy river), they headed out to hunt some clowns. 

The Clown Cult

Compass and mirror identified the closest Artifact- the Staff of High Comedy. Tracked it down to a group of clowns that worshipped Attinae. Chuffy invisibly snuck in and a hilarious fight ensued. It got dark real fucking fast. Turns out, the clowns can't die! Chuffy made a deal with Attinae, receiving a boon in exchange for the blood of her followers. They got the staff, and Chuffy completed a dark ritual on accident. Without the rest of the party knowing, Attinae froze time and upgraded the compass and gave Chuffy a permanent fix on the location of his family's killer. He might have some regrets. Anyway, now she's loose doing god of madness stuff. Mostly some devious licks and a lot of freelance murder. 

Report Date

21 Nov 2022