The Staff of High Comedy

One of the 144 Artifacts of Skaldor, the Staff of High Comedy is the only relic of the Sylvan War to have been crafted on another continent. It was a gift to Skaldor from the Fujiyaman goddess of trickery, Nuadem Meduan. The staff is about six feet in length, rainbow striped, and just a little bit sticky. It is capped with a ruby shaped like the laughing head of whoever owns the staff, and it makes a jingling sound as the user walks (and fart sounds at random intervals). The staff holds a random amount of charges and can only be recharged by genuine mirth. The staff does not allow itself to be used unless the bearer is actively in a hostile situation. 
The bearer of the staff can utilize one of it's charges to produce a random effect. 

Result	Effect
1	Staff bearer becomes a gorilla for one minute
2	Target creature shits themselves (-2 penalty on all rolls and movement reduced by half)
3	Summon dire clown
4	Randomly swap position of all creatures within 60 feet
5	Target creature must pass a DC 16 Will save or be polymorphed into a headless chicken for 1d6 rounds
6	Banana peels rain from the sky until current encounter is over. Each round, exponential tiles become difficult terrian.
7	The staff-bearer's allies regain their hit dice in hit points every time they miss an attack roll for the duration of the encounter.
8	The staff explodes, dealing 3d6 piercing damage in a 20 foot radius. A DC 16 Reflex save halves this damage. It reforms next round.
9	All creatures within 60 feet of the staff are affected by Unnatural Lust for 1d6 rounds. DC 16 Will save negates.
10	The next natural 20 rolled is instead a natural 1 (lasts for duration of current encounter)
11	All creatures within 60 feet of the staff fall prone, even if that is literally impossible. Flying creatures hit the ground hard with no saving throw.
12	The strongest enemy creature in an encounter regains all of it's hit points.
13	An ally designated by the staff-bearer is polymorphed into an equivalent CR dinosaur. They retain all abilities but gain the physical statistics of the dinosaur.
14	The staff-bearer and all of their allies are teleported to the closest settlement. The enemy are made aware of their location and driven to destroy the staff-bearer.
15	The staff becomes a pie launcher for the duration of the encounter and loses all other abilities. This is a ranged touch attack that deals 1d3 untyped damage. A creature struck by a pie is blinded for one round unless they pass a DC 16 Fortitude save. A critical hit with the pie permanently blinds the target with no saving throw.
16	The staff conjures an angry wolf adjacent to the staff-bearer every time a 1 or 20 is rolled for the duration of the encounter. These grant experience points unlike other summoned creatures.
17	The staff conjures the ToonRealm equivalent of a randomly determined creature on the battlefield.
18	All weapons become non-lethal squeaky toys for the duration of the encounter, including natural weapons and spells.
19	The next spell cast by the staff-bearer or allies become a randomly determined metamagic equivalent.
20	The staffbearer adds a new effect to this list that remains permanent across all future games, timelines, etc. Then they roll again.

Item type

Unique Artifact