PM1 pt.24} RED miles

redCardinal played by Roj, carcinoGeneticist played by Link, divineConvergence played by Dodo, flavoredVaporist played by Kiki, turntechGodhead played by Kiwi, gallowsCalibrator played by Jiro, notoriousVisionary played by Leng, dioramicSpectacle played by Orange, stupidIdiot played by SoperPlanet, origamiChamber played by Leng
 
RC: w h a t
CG: OH GOD. NOT AGAIN.
DC: im SO fucking CONFUSED
RC: HES TRYING TO FUCK A TREE?
CG: IT'S COMPLICATED. JUST... DON'T ASK.
RC: WHERE IS THE PLEASURE IN THAT
RC: DILDOS EXIST FOR A REASON MAN
DC: i HATE this
DC: and NOT in THE sexy WAY either
RC: theres a sexy way to hate stuff?
CG: YES, DIPSHIT.
FV: ~(why are you yelling)~
CG: WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN STUPID LITTLE BULGE BRACKETS?
FV: ~(it's okay to be quiet sometimes)~
CG: YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY, THEN.
RC: kar-bro is always yelling
RC: think its one of those quirks yall have ???
FV: ~(that's a good question actually i don't know why i do this)~
FV: ~(it looks cool)~
DC: yes ITS their TYPING quirk WHAT did YOU think IT was
DC: them JUST typing IN full CAPS for NO fucking REASON???
FV: ~(wait is your bulge really that small)~
FV: ~(hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha)~
CG: WHAT? NO, I
CG: NO, FUCK YOU.
CG: STOP LAUGHING. SHUT UP.
RC: all this talk about bulges is making me feel gross
FV: ~(ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)~
CG: YOU'RE LAUGHING.
CG: YOU INSINUATED THAT MY BULGE IS THE SIZE OF A TILDE, AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
CG: THAT'S REALLY ALL IT FUCKING TAKES?
FV: ~(you didnt even defend yourself i know i'm right hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)~
RC: this is hilarious
RC: idk yelling all the time is kinda small dick energy man
RC: ironic, i know
CG: I SAID NO. MULTIPLE TIMES.
CG: MY BULGE IS LIKE, HUGE.
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW COLOSSALLY FUCKING MONUMENTAL IT IS.
CG: IT'S LIKE A MIGHTY MYTHOLOGICAL CRIMSON SERPENT.
CG: SHUT UP.
DC: hey ITS okay ITS not THE size OF the BULGE that MATTERS
DC: okay WELL it SORT of DOES but NOT that MUCH that YOU wont EVER get A matesprit
DC: im SURE that WHOEVER you FIND love WITH will APPRECIATE you REGARDLESS
FV: ~(i know there are plenty of trolls out there that will still love you)~
RC: OMFG BRO YOURE TALKING ABOUT HOW BIG YOUR DICK IS I CANT
RC: I CANT BREATH
turntechGodhead [TG] has started responding to the memo
TG: sup dudes
RC: sup man
CG: FUCK YOU ALL, SHUT UP. MY BULGE IS *NOT* SMALL. LEAVE ME ALONE.
CG: IT'S FUCKING MASSIVE AND PLEASURES EVERYONE WHO EVEN *LOOKS* AT IT.
CG: SHIT
CG: HELLO, DAVE.
TG: .....Karkat
FV: ~(ugh is this another human)~
RC: this is amazing
RC: i love this
TG: karkat why the fuck
TG: why are you talking about your fucking dick
RC: someone said that yelling has small dick energy
RC: ironic
TG: on the *memo*
FV: ~(i said it was small)~
FV: ~(it turns out i was right)~
DC: oh LOOK its THE slam POET
DC: or WAIT rapper I guess
DC: i STILL dont SEE the DIFFERENCE here BUT ill RESPECT your TERMINOLOGY on THE matter I guess
DC: also THAT mental IMAGREY is GREAT thank YOU grother
CG: THEY STARTED IT.
FV: ~(he's mad)~
TG: oh my fucking got
TG: dude i dont wanna think about your fucking dick
TG: oh my god
FV: ~(too bad, now we all have to)~
FV: ~(microscopic)~
RC: stop
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has started responding to the memo.
GC: OK4Y 3R1D4N W4STNT P41L1NG MY TR33
RC: lets stop talking about penises
CG: THEN DON'T, YOU FUCKING PERV.
CG: NO ONE THINK ABOUT IT. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED. UNLESS YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HOW BIG IT IS. BECAUSE IT IS BIG. FUCK YOU.
TG: dude for fucks sake stop talking about how big your fucking dick is
RC: ^^^
TG: in fact everyone stop fucking talking about it
FV: ~(are u jealous)~
RC: no please
GC: WH4T H4V3 1 COM3 B4CK TO
GC: H1 D4V1D
CG: I'LL STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW BIG IT IS ONCE THEY STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW SMALL IT IS.
CG: I MEAN, HOW SMALL IT *ISN'T*. FUCK.
FV: ~(haha your name is david)~
RC: oh my god
TG: karkat
TG: ...................
RC: jfc
DC: dont WORRY karkat I will ONLY ever IMAGINE you IN my HEAD with A colossal FUCKING donger BETWEEN your LEGS
DC: they PROBABLY call IT the RED miles BECAUSE its MILES long PFFT
TG: why
RC: oH my god shut the fuck up
TG: why
TG: why
CG: YEAH, THEY DO CALL IT THAT. THANKS, GROTHER.
CG: GOD, WE'RE TOO DEEP IN IT NOW.
RC: why
CG: NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE RED MILES.
TG: stop please stop
CG: THE MILES, DAVID.
GC: OH MY FUCK1NG GOD
RC: oh my god
NV: shiit maan whaat haapeeneed iin heeree?
TG: both of you, its fucking Dave
RC: someone get me out im about to fucking feel my damn brain smooth out
TG: stop fucking calling me that
FV: ~(lol david)~
CG: NO, MY MILES ARE *NOT* FUCKING DAVE, DAVID.
TG: fuck you guys
GC: WH4TS WRONG, D4V1D >:?
RC: i
TG: i'm leaving
RC: i feel like if i said my name people would make fun of me
DC: my GOD
DC: this IS the FUNNIEST shit IVE ever SEEN my AIR sacs ARE going TO fucking IMPLODE from THE sheer AMOUNT of LAUGHTER im EMITTING
DC: the FUCKING
DC: mile LONG bulge
DC: just CRUSHING the SHIT out OF everything AHAHAHAHA
FV: ~(bye david)~
FV: ~(i am going to make fun of your name what is it)~
GC: NO D4V1D DONT GO
RC: ah shit i forgot to wash the dishes
RC: my old man will be pissed
RC: brb
TG: okay look I am serious, fucking please stop
FV: ~(what the fuck is your name god damn it)~
FV: ~(come back)~
TG: i hate david it makes me unconformable
RC: if it makes him uncomfortable stfu
NV: saamee
RC: god respect boundaries n shit guys
FV: ~(i was gonna say sorry but then rc told me to shut up so now i can't apologize)~
FV: ~(so just accept that as an apology)~
RC: i will eat you
CG: AS LONG AS YOUR NAME ISN'T "RED" OR SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT, YOU'RE FINE.
CG: SERIOUSLY, WHO WOULD NAME THEIR HUMAN CHILD "RED"? OR *ANYTHING* "RED", FOR THAT MATTER. TERRIBLE NAME FOR TERRIBLE PEOPLE.
FV: ~(try me human)~
RC: my name is Owen lol
NV: fvs goot aa pooiint
FV: ~(lmao your name is owen)~
FV: ~(looooooooool)~
FV: ~(fucking owen)~
NV: duudee caan wee noot taalk aaboouut eeaatiing peeooplee?
RC: yeah i was named after my dead dad
FV: ~(lol his name was owen)~
CG: OWEN? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN *PRONOUNCE* THAT?
CG: OW-EEEN? THAT'S DUMB. NO OFFENSE.
RC: yea
RC: “o-when”
CG: OH GOD DAMN IT. I ALREADY HAD THAT TYPED OUT WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS YOUR DEAD DAD'S NAME. NOW I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
FV: ~(oween)~
CG: I MEAN, I *AM* AN ASSHOLE, BUT STILL.
RC: nah its fine man
GC: Y34H, YOU 4R3
DC: hey MAN red ISNT that BAD of A color
DC: honestly THOUGH i THINK this IS the MOST deliciously CHAOTIC ive EVER seen A chat AND im LIVING and OR dying FOR it
DC: you IDIOTS are THE best OF the BEST
DC: at LEAST when IT comes TO being FUCKING batshit INSANE which IS nonetheless NOTEWORTHY
RC: he was an ass anyways so
FV: ~(hey dc)~
RC: RED IS THE BEST FUCKING COLOR NO ARGUMENTS
FV: ~(whats your name)~
CG: OKAY, GOOD.
CG: I MEAN, *NOT* GOOD FOR YOU, BUT GOOD IN THIS ONE CASE.
CG: THE CASE BEING, LIKE, ME BEING AN ASSHOLE.
DC: none OF your BUSINESS
CG: RED IS A TERRIBLE COLOUR.
RC: Kar no it isnttt
GC: R3D 1S GR34T, K1TK4T >;|
RC: ^^^
CG: NO.
CG: SHOOSH.
FV: ~(red is the color of tghegehe most gorgeous troll ive ever seen)~
FV: ~(ill try that again later)~
DC: red IS pretty GREAT
DC: like I was SAYING before MY magic IS mostly RED and ITS cool AS shit
DC: i WOULD show YOU but I also WILL not
DC: nothing PERSONAL i JUST dont WANT to GET myself FUCKED
RC: yall i hear my neighbors “Pailing” or whatever yall call it
RC: free me from this flesh prison
FV: ~(i'd like to get myself fucked but here we are, talking about colors)~
CG: WHAT
CG: THE FUCK?
CG: STOP, OH MY GOG.
RC: i dont see the pleasure in “pailing”
TG: dear god
NV: aand peeooplee aact liikee iim thee peerv seeeesh
RC: yall want some cursed shit
TG: why the fuck is this memo always go to sex
CG: YOU ARE *ALL* PERVS. OH MY FUCKING GOD.
GC: 1 DONT KNOW, D4V3
CG: NOT "FUCKING GOD" IN THAT WAY. AGH.
FV: ~(must suck being a virgin)~
FV: ~(wouldnt know)~
redCardinal [RC] sent a file.
TG: you were the one talking about your *DICK* karkat
FV: ~(how the fuck did you do that god damn it)~
TG: holy shit that was cursed
RC: yall want more?
FV: ~(im pissed)~
GC: 1T T4ST3S GROSS
CG: I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT MY *DICK*, I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY *BULGE*. AND, AGAIN, THEY STARTED IT.
CG: I HAD TO DEFEND MY TOWERING HONOUR.
CG: MY GIRTHY EMINENCE DEMANDED AN ATTORNEY.
DC: this MEMO is PRETTY perverted YEAH but IT is ALSO pretty FUNNY in THAT regard
DC: who DOESNT like A fun LITTLE chat ABOUT dick AND ba OKAY i CANT type THAT with A straight FACE oh MY god
NV: shiit maan caareefuul ii heeaard theerees liike aa aa kiid thaats liike threeee sweeeeps oor soomee shiit thaat coomees oon heeree
FV: ~(who the fuck lets a kid come on here)~
redCardinal [RC] sent a file.
NV: fuuck iif ii knoow
TG: ugh
GC: TH4T ON3 T4ST3S WORS3
RC: its art
TG: I hate it here
dioramicSpectacle [DS] has joined the memo!
NV: seelf poortraaiit?
RC: oop
DS: SO, how's everything been going.
turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased responding to the memo
DC: what STUPID ass LUSUS would LET their THREE sweep OLD wriggler ON a MEMO like THIS
DC: like SERIOUSLY man YOU should BE at LEAST six SWEEPS before YOURE even VENTURING on TO the INTERNET
DC: i GUESS not ALL guardians ARE created EQUAL though
RC: yo some guardians are shit
NV: iikr?
DC: yeah I didnt EVEN really KNOW mine VERY well
DC: honestly I dont THINK it WAS ever VERY interested IN me
DC: which KIND of SUCKS but ALSO its WHATEVER im DOING fine ON my OWN
NV: soorry maan (:{
RC: my dad never really was around and my mom got sick
RC: thats why im with my older cousin
RC: hes cool
CG: GOD. THIS IS DEPRESSING. CAN WE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT MY PROTRACTED BULGE?
NV: muust bee niicee haaviing baackuup luusuus maan
RC: never again
CG: NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE MILES, OWEEN.
GC: WH4T
RC: oh god
RC: did you just call me by my real name
NV: lool deespeereet too taalk aaboouut yoouu stuuf theeree shoouuty?
DC: yeah SURE lets GET into THE deep MORAL implications OF your BULGE
DC: what GRIPPING philosophical CONNOTATIONS are CONTAINED within THE knotted FOLDS of YOUR miles LONG dick
FV: ~(lol your name is oween)~
RC: no i read it wrong
FV: ~(elbow skin ass mf)~
RC: can someone say theyre proud of me real quick for no apparent reason
FV: ~(no)~
NV: lool ooh maan yoouur muuch fuuniieer wheen ii oonly reeaad thee loouud woords
FV: ~(sure get the moral of bulge gripping connotations contained the folds your long)~
CG: THAT'S... DEEP.
RC: imagine having a dick
RC: cant relate, sadly
CG: NEITHER CAN I.
CG: SERIOUSLY. BULGES AND HUMAN DICKS ARE *VERY* DIFFERENT.
GC: WH4T 4M 1 R34D1NG
NV: aall thiis mooraal buulgee griipiing
FV: ~(lol imagine having a bulge)~
GC: K4RK4T HOW DO YOY KNOW TH4T
GC: *YOU
RC: about me wishing i was a biological guy and Karkat talking about how notoriously huge his bulge is
FV: ~(anyone with a bulge is boring facts)~
CG: BUT-
CG: DON'T *YOU* HAVE A BULGE? YOU'RE A TROLL.
RC: i shall remove thine titty
DC: yeah I cant IMAGINE having A dick EITHER it WOULD probably BE weird
DC: i HEAR theyre LIKE really FLOPPY but THEN when ITS time TO go THEY get SOLID instead OF getting SLIMEY like A bulge
DC: human REPRODUCTION is PRETTY gross TOO its BASICALLY like IMPLANTING a PARASITE into EACHOTHER
GC: K4RK4T HOW DO YOU KNOW WH4T HUM4N D1CKS 4R3 L1K3
FV: ~(i lost my bulge 3 years ago)~
RC: yes human reproduction is gross
RC: i agree
CG: OH. SORRY. I GUESS.
CG: LET'S, LIKE, NOT TALK ABOUT REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ANY MORE.
FV: ~( :"( )~
GC: 4NSW3R M3, CLUCKB34ST
DC: awh FINE whatever
DC: i DONT really KNOW what ELSE to TALK about THOUGH so ILL leave IT up TO you GUYS
RC: can we talk about how i want to fkin strife right now
RC: like, im craving action
CG: SO LIKE, THAT NEW SBAHJ MOVIE. PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?
FV: ~(yall ever tried human food)~
RC: human food is okay
GC: K4RK4T 1 SW34R
FV: ~(humans do not talk to me)~
FV: ~(has anyone tried human food)~
DS: FUck SBaHJ, who even watches that crap?
CG: I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING, BUT THE ENDING REALLY GOT TO ME. PRETTY BIG TWIST THAT I WASN'T EXPECTING.
FV: ~(what is sbahj)~
RC: i like, uh
RC: anime
DC: i DONT watch MOVIES i LIVE in A dark CAVE
DC: also HUMAN food IS alright I guess I dont REALLY eat MUCH food I dont CATCH myself THOUGH so I wouldnt KNOW that MUCH
CG: IF YOU DON'T *LIKE* SBAHJ, YOU DON'T *GET* IT. SIMPLE AS.
NV: maakee uup yoouur miind maan deemaandiing wee taalk aaboouut iit theen deemaandiing wee doont
FV: ~(lol anime)~
DS: I Get it perfectly fine, it's just ass.
CG: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF. PRETTY SPECTACULAR MOVIE SERIES FROM ONE OF THE EARTHS. IT'S FOR INTELLECTUALS.
FV: ~(you guys watch stuff from earth? i dont even talk to people from earth)~
FV: ~(earthians dni)~
RC: oh yeaaah, i thought those were pretty good
FV: ~(the only acceptable racism is if they are from earth)~
DS: I'Ve met, like, one good human.
FV: ~(they don't exist don't lie)~
RC: i
RC: im human so im technically from earth
RC: as a human i can confirm that humans are shit
CG: "EARTHIANS"? THEY'RE CALLED *HUMANS*, GLOBETROTTER.
DS: ADmittedly he was drunk as shit so that could have affected things.
DC: what IS it ABOUT i HAVENT heard THAT much ABOUT it
DC: also I dont REALLY know MUCH about HUMANS ive SEEN a FEW but OTHER then ONLINE i DONT interact WITH them VERY often
DC: they SEEM sort OF similar TO us IN the WAYS they ACT but ALSO pretty FUCKING different
RC: ah alcohol
RC: never really been a fan
FV: ~(motherfucker have you ever seen a cat)~
FV: ~(those things are horrifying)~
FV: ~(those are from earth)~
FV: ~(earthians)~
DS: CAts are absolutely terrifying, man.
RC: dont you guys call them meowbeasts or purrbeasts?
DS: EVer seen one yawn?
FV: ~(those are different)~
FV: ~(those are so sweet)~
FV: ~(cat yawns)~
CG: WHAT THE FUCK? YOU TWO ARE AFRAID OF *CATS*? SURE, THEY'RE A LITTLE UNCANNY, BUT MY *LUSUS* IS SCARIER THAN A FUCKING CAT.
DS: DOn't even compare cats to meowbeasts.
FV: ~(one time a cat looked at me wrong and i nearly shit myself)~
DS: MEowbeasts are fucking, adorable.
RC: i dont like dogs
FV: ~(i fucking love meowbeasts)~
FV: shut the fuck up rc dogs are the best)~
RC: dogs are cute but i just dont like em
DS: FUck dogs, too. ALl they do is attack you.
RC: chihuahuas are demons
FV: ~(how did you get attacked by a dog)~
DS: NOt trespassing.
FV: ~(lol imagine trespassing)~
redCardinal [RC] sent a file.
FV: ~(he's just saying hi)~
RC: hes fucking terrifying
DC: i THINK im GONNA go DO some OTHER stuff FOR a LITTLE while
DC: this WAS fun BUT also IM not REALLY interested IN talking ABOUT some RANDOM ass ANIMALS
DC: oh AND you SHOULD totally ADD me OR something GROTHER it WAS great GETTING to FUCK around WITH you SOME more
DC: well NOT like THAT but
DC: okay YOU know WHAT nevermind BYE
divineConvergence [DC] is now idle
DS: ARe you literally just here to spam the memo with pictures?
RC: yes
FV: ~(come back)~
FV: ~(i still dont know how you send pictures)~
NV: iits
FV: ~(pissed off)~
RC: i could DM you on how?
DS: YOu just put them in, man.
DS: IT's not hard.
RC: yeah
NV: heeh heeh heeh
FV: ~(with which button you human fuck)~
RC: you see the one near the send button?
RC: when you click on it, itll pull up your shit
RC: click on one, and then just press send man
CG: WAIT, "SEND MAN"? WHAT?
CG: I DON'T SEE THAT BUTTON, EITHER.
CG: ARE YOU MAKING SHIT UP?
RC: no karkat
RC: OMG BBY
RC: SEND IT AGAIN YOU FUCK
FV: ~(i have no idea)~
FV: ~(what you could possibly be talking about)~
FV: ~(there was nothing there)~
FV: ~(haha)~
dioramicSpectacle [DS] has ceased responding to the memo!
flavoredVaporist [FV] is now idle.
RC: you fucking “nookwhiff” istg
SI: maYBe TheIR VeRsIOn OF TROLLIan Is dIFFeRenT sO The BuTTOn Is sOmewheRe eLse
RC: true
RC: im learning swears hehe
RC: time to bug Levi with em
SI: Oh nO! hOw TeRRIBLe!!!
redCardinal [RC] sent a file.
SI: TO ThInk YOud use this gaIned knOwLedge FOR eVIL Is TO muCh TOO BaRe
CG: GOD. OKAY. I'VE HEARD ENOUGH. *THIS* CHAT IS PISSING ME OFF, AND I'M BEING TROLLED ABOUT SOMETHING I *DON'T* WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
CG: PEACE.
CG: OR, LIKE, WAR. WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FUCKING FANCY. ASSHOLES.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased responding to memo.
RC: lmao by Kar
RC: *bye
RC: anyways imma head out too
RC: bye dudes
Stupid idoto [SI] sent a file
redCardinal [RC] ceased responding to memo.
NV: niicee naamee
NV: yeeaah thaats cooool ii doont waannaa taalk too mee eeiitheer
NV: chaat aalwaays diiees wheen ii geet iin
NV: suuch aa fuuckiing piieecee oof shiit
notoriousVisionary [NV] has ceased responding to memo.
SI: waIt COme BaCk--
redCardinal [RC] started responding to memo.
RC: almost forgot this
redCardinal [RC] sent a file.
RC: thank you for your time
redCardinal [RC] has ceased responding to memo.
origamiChamber [OC] has started responding to memo.
SI:Thank YOu red cardinal, I aPPReCIaTe IT.
OC: fis seems like a PLEASANT memo. is ity NICE and CALM in here today?
SI:I wOuld saY sO, much less heCTIC tMThen IT nORmaLLY Is, ThaT's FOR suRe.
OC: ah isy ity a very harsh memo normally?
SI: weLL, IT Is IF AA Is OnLIne, The TROLL ThaT TYPes In a dIFFeRenT Languege, ITs better IF YOu dont TRansLaTe IT ThOugh
OC: oh ify you say noty to then i won'ty
An hour passes
OC: fis isy very PLEASANT. i will have to fanky my ferapist for suggesting i try.
Several more hours pass
OC: fanky you so so so muchy for fis WONDERFULLY PEACEFUL memo. i APPRECIATE ity. i HOPE everyone hasy a LOVELY day.
origamiChamber [OC] has ceased responding to memo.
 

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