Journal #63: The Five Stages

We slipped inside the Castle quite easily, Sigrun being one hell of a distraction for the people fighting outside. Ghost and all, with those Silver Orb priests healing those people no matter the side. The Castle itself was of typical dwarven from the pillar to the broken ceiling and a nice rug, a single golden hammer on the carpet. While the others pondered the golden hammer, Kraia, and I were more interested in the carpet.
 
The hammer itself was clearly magical, my question was where were the others. They had gotten here, and where the Shard was. I half expected some distortion once we entered the castle but it seemed very plain. By dwarven standards at least, it was still a castle. Despite its shabby state.
 
It was only once that hammer was touched that everything began. The previous guardian in the incorporeal state appeared. Dwarven as expected, however, he was far larger than any dwarf I had ever seen. Even larger than Burdyr once he channeled some of that divine power to increase his size. Pretentious prick that ghost, the artifact is never just sitting there at the end of the altar. Of course, there were challenges by the gods. Or lies created from the harp. I know that another group is in here somewhere, the question is are we going to face them at some point. I wonder what Licia will do? A better question is what are we going to do with Sonja. What is her connection with Jinne, the dreamers? Or is Jinne one of them? She seemed like such a nice person, but that future? How could she have known? Too many questions left unanswered, and I might like the answer once we get them.
 
The previous guardian dwarf essentially yelled at us, Burdyr for being pointy-eared people here, and was the definition of a stereotypical dwarf. Just more ethereal. We explained the reasoning for being there, the same as the previous group. Burdyr was told to keep the Golden Hammer till the trail is over. I wonder if it does anything? Commands authority of this castle? Regardless I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, as whatever I had mouthed off to the thing. You would think I would have learned from my training with Pharasma’s Herald but no. I was just annoyed at this spectral ghost telling it to just get on with it. Or another phrase similar to that one. The ethereal ghost did not take kindly to that, smashing the ghost battle ax into the ground. Shattering the stonework under our feet, crumbling away as we fell into the dark under the castle of Torag.
 
Quick thinking and a few words later, I had control of my fall with the spell Fly. Attempting to find Celu, who was walking through the air. I breathed a sigh of relief as she had just as quickly created a safe way to fall. In our descent, we were split from the others. I sent in a small room for the first of the challenges. A single bowl was in the room with the dwarven god Magrim’s symbol. That dwarven god of the afterlife. The ghostly guardian spoke of a trail of single combat. We could check on our opponent, or simply deal with it and open the door.
 
I opened the door, wanting to get over with. Some Wolfman, not a werewolf but something close, stood there watching me. I kept out of the combatant reach especially as I did not have time to get hit. Luckily I still could fly so that was made quite simple as I shot scorching rays at the wolfman. I had a moment of thought, given the shard's influence in events that this person might be real. It was only a moment as I apologized for this. Killing them with another volley of spells.
 
Celuriel was in trouble, that mental bond through the rings we shared told me. So real or not, I did not have the time to pity the creature attacking me. Or even figure out what was happening. I was not going to let Celuriel get more hurt than we had.
The door unlocked, leading into a much larger room with several other doors. That mental bond also told me in a roundabout way where she was. I knew the door and sprinted like a madman but as I attempted to find some way to open the dreaded thing. My panic was quilled as the door opened, Celuriel stood victorious. I hushed in becoming rather protective of her. She had healed herself, which might have explained she did not seem as in pain.
 
Once Celuirel was taken care of, we started deciphering each of the doors. The Dwarven Pantheon or some of the symbols lay on their surface. We need to find which god it was, then attempt to perform some action close to that god. Or wait till they finish fighting the creature they fight. We unlocked some doors, others they finished fighting. That was not the important part, we spent a lot of our resources but we still needed to press on.
 
Which left leaving this stupid room, the only notable things were an altar and three tombs.
 
The Altar had this Scrawled across it in dwarven runes: Give a prayer to the Lord of your Heart and receive of Them their Blessing,
 
To sum this up, we prayed to our god to receive a bottle, fill it with water from our rooms, and place it on the Altar. The contents of the water changed as well as the text on the Altar.
 
Enshrine your Gift upon this Pedestal,
When All are Ready, Indulge in what was Given to be able to Truly See Forward.
Do Not Forget To Take Your Gifts To The Next.
 
Regardless, the tombs on the other side of the room had runes that glowed a soft gold. Each of the castle tombs was, of course, different, listing the years they lived and died, cause of death. Things like that.
 
Azdar Kolmthal (2084 - 2141) - fell in the heat of battle to a blast of sorcery
 
Burin Fadmek (2045 - 2141) - claimed by the molten depths of the forge during the Collapse
 
Veyloh Garandrum ( 2062 - 2141) took down her assassins with a blaze of divine power but perished in the subsequent explosion.
 
With some consideration and a handful of spells we ducked into the rooms we used for single combat. I flung a bright orange bead to the center’s tomb. Burin Fadmek I think. What we hadn’t thought about was the fireball being able to ricochet off the middle tomb flinging the spell to the door behind the altar, tearing open the door. Leaving this little trail finished.
 
Nothing changed besides the door, no voice-guided us so it left us with one real option. Press forward into the next room.
 
Directly in front of us were bowls, each with different symbols. Symbols we saw in each of the bowls in the room began with this trail in. Mine was Magrin the dwarven god after, which I doubt this was a coincidence given my goddess. When did I start calling Pharasma my goddess?
 
I should probably figure that out later.
Tangent aside. I thought of a difficult memory as we were instructed to pour the bottle into the correct symbol. We did as such, and another door flung open continuing our progress.
 
To our left were tables of candles, some unlit others not. While the room was large enough to hold all of us, it was by no means large. The only other thing of note in this room was a fountain. With a simple instruction to drink from it. I walked over to the candle and lit three. Warm against my skin, which lately has only been growing colder.
 
I turned back to the fountain, a hand full of people looking around the fountain. Wondering if they should take a drink. In the middle of the discussion, I chose to join them. It was around this time Kraia chose to drink the normal-looking water. I half expected her to disappear, but she turned translucent almost ethereal looking.
I thought my hand would pass through her given her new form. It didn’t. I heard her. I took my hand off, and silence. Testing this again and I once again heard her. Talking to somebody, was it her brother?
 
A side effect of using too much power from Pharasma.
 
“Why can I touch ghosts” was my immediate response. My brain filled in the gaps rather quickly, I just thought the changes would be more noticeable. The Coldness sure, but this was different. I could touch ghosts.

Licia chimed in with a simple “Champion powers?”
 
“Well add that to the list of champions fuck” I misspoke and meant to say Champion Powers. But gave up and reverted to curses. I was annoyed to say the list, I don’t know how to feel about this change.
 
“Aren’t I the only one you’re supposed to fuck?”
 
I looked at Celu, heat rushing to my face. Any thought in my mind was just lost that quietly. That was rather blatant, she has never really been that forward. Celuriel was smirking but had a glare directed to Licia. Why Licia? Sure there was that unnatural lust spell but that is far as that ever went.
 
Burdyr drank soon after, just disappeared. Talinde became a ghostly figure. I poked him once or twice but learned some things but nothing fancy.
 
Eventually, Celuriel and I stood in front of the fountain, we agreed to drink it together. I think the two of us were putting it off a bit. I knew what was going to happen given the context of what Kraia and Talinde were talking about. They were in another world. A false world based on memories we gave the trail but were changed. Twisted into an illusion of what if’s and could have been.
 
The two of us drank the water.
 
I didn’t make it.
 
Kraia, well Artemis technically, had flung me out of the illusionary world. Cling to illusions I thought were real. I felt them disappear in my arms, heard them screaming.
This world showed me what could have been, a life with Claire, with Alain and Emily. Memories of that life still linger in my head. Emily was scared of thunderstorms, crawling under our sheet burying her head into my chest to hide. I can always remember Alain holding his sister for the first time. Excited to be a big brother and wanting to know her name.
 
This should have made me sad and it did.

This world was meant to make me happy, but that's the tragedy of that world. I still outlive all of them.

I dealt with my emotions and found myself in a small room with an odd lantern displaying another world. Lucky Celuriel had made it through and I found himself next to her. Sitting down near her.

She was silent for a while.

“You could always go back”

“I’m fine, I have gotten over it once. I can do it again. I just need a moment.” The words came out slow, it was hard to speak. The emotion’s memories are still clear in my head.
 
“You were happier there”
 
“That's your opinion, not mine. It was a different kind of happiness. Different kinds of families. I’m... happy here.” The words were heavy, not hard to say. I meant every word.
 
I stayed near her for a good portion of time, I didn’t want to go anywhere. The others could deal with their problems and needed a moment. It would have been a lot worse if Celuriel wasn’t there. She reminded me of a different future one I wanted. Even if she doesn’t believe what I said then. I am happy with her, more than happy.
 
Well, well get to that in a moment.
 
As we pulled each other out of these false worlds, our trail was passed. Talinde took a while, as he was being rather stubborn. I still wonder what he was doing with those drows. If they were adults it would have been different but there were kids. I think he’s old enough to have been a part of the purge. Some of us were offered the chance to willingly enter into the false world. As we are being judged during these trials. Burdyr was the only one to attempt it. Talinde brought him back, similar to how Burdyr was the one to bring Talinde to bring Talinde out of his illusionary world.
It seems this trail is placing us through the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But why? What does this have to do with anything? If one of the gods has given us this challenge then to what end. Part of me worries that there is morning going on here. There is always something going on, but I mean something more than that. That harp is affecting this trail but to what extent. When is this no longer just some trail about things relating to the gods?
 
Anger was next, and oddly enough we passed by sleeping Dreamers before we dealt with aggressive fire-based elemental or execution devils. No puzzle required, just lots of smoke, dead bodies, and destruction. However, once our aggression was dealt with quite thoroughly. Which included an execution devil winking at Celuriel. Thankfully that was the most extreme thing to happen. Still, our path was barred, as the only door forward was clearly not bugging.
 
Somebodies were burning with unnatural flames, I approached one. The flame consumed the body, transforming it. Changing the body to somebody I knew. A voice, hardly more than a whisper. Loud enough for me to hear.
 
"Good luck, love. I know you can do this."
 
I picked up the body of Claire, she looked so peaceful. Much like the night after she died. I turned around, the large fire that once held a rather large fire elemental was still blazing. I picked up her body walking over carefully placing her within the fire.
I remained silent, as others approached other bodies. Ten in total for each of us. Celuriel eventually stood near me as I watched the flames devour a facsimile of my late wife.
 
"Never thought I would have to do that again," I said more to myself than to Celu. In response, she held my hand. An attempt at comfort, another reason I am glad she’s here.
 
While the others dealt with other false people, Celuriel and took the time to organize the other corpses in the room. At least they would get some level of respect, in the back of my mind I wondered if these were just constructed by the trails or were they fallen people repurposed for other means.
 
Licia darted around like a panicked bird in a house going from body to body, mostly the ones we didn’t change. I did note that Talinde brought a young drow girl to the centerfire. As did the others. It wasn’t something we needed to do, for the person I
saw. It was a…
 
It’s ironic really, odd that it came full circle in a way.
 
Eventually, I accompanied Celu to her burning body. An ethereal beautiful version of herself, her sister’s voice whispered to her.
 
"If you'd behaved better, we could have ruled together - as much as I love you, Celuriel, this is entirely your fault."
 
It only took a moment before she violently dragged her false self over to the funeral pyre and nearly slammed herself into the fire.
 
Despite the circumstances of being here in this castle I am glad she’s expressing so many emotions. She’s really changed from that silent vetala I knew back on the train.
I’m getting on a tangent again, this happens a lot when I remark on anything regarding Celuriel.
 
And given what I did during the bargaining stage well…
 
The text on the door changed, instructing us to release our anger. I slipped Silver into the door as if I wanted to slip this blade through somebody's ribs. The motion flung me through the door as if it wasn’t there. Leaving me in a relatively simple room, with a simple cloaked figure. Several different dwarven makes hung off the wall, some paintings, and bookshelves. A desk that the cloaked figure sat at had an open chair on the other side which I sat at. No one else popped up on this side of the door. So we would begin doing this alone.
 
Bargaining stage.
 
Trading something of equal value.
 
It took me a second to think about what I would bargain for. However, most of my thinking was concern about what my companions might bargain for.
 
After placing some level of faith in them. The figure had told me a handful of people finished bargaining.
 
I removed a necklace from around my neck. The ring I had gotten from Claire when she sent me that letter. I pressed it onto the table, making a click against the wood.
 
“Claire told me I would find a better use for this, and I cannot see myself proposing with this ring. As it was made with another woman in mind. As much as this is a memento of somebody I loved, Celuriel convinced me I could love somebody again. Somebody I want to marry. So a bargain for a wedding ring that Celuirel would love, in exchange for a ring that Claire once loved.”
 
It was a rather simple bargain. While it is an important thing to me, I hardly thought this figure could wrap a request that simple.
 
They deemed it as equal in value.

While waiting I struck another deal for a spell scroll. Nothing too fancy, but I needed something for another project.
 
I remained silent for a good long while, looking at the odd trinkets from a painting of dwarfs to barrels of what I assumed was some kind of dwarven ale. Not that I could recognize any of it.
 
My silence was eventually broken, as each of us finished our bargains. I assume the others were placed inside a similar, like a small demiplane. Then once our deals were stuck, the gods or whatever is creating these tests for us to go through. Then stuck us all together, telling us the last thing I personally wanted to hear.
 
All of our deals would be read aloud for everyone to hear.
 
To say I was rather flustered was an understatement, as reading out my bargains left very little interpretation for what I was planning. Most of the time when you plan a lady hand in marriage it’s meant to be secret. However, I knew I didn’t have a say in the matter and just kept silent. I made sure I was standing near Celuriel at least.
 
Nobody wanted to change, even when we were given the choice.
 
The figure even mentions we had to unanimously agree on what was given to all of us for the bargain was.
 
Celuriel started leaning against me when she heard what my bargain was. I couldn’t really hide what I planned to do, so everybody knew eventually I was going to ask for her hand. I would be lying if I said I didn’t blush when the dealmaker read out mine. When the ring appeared in my hand I quickly snuck it into my pocket before she had a chance to see her engagement ring. But just as I had received my deal, she and I received her. She really started to lean on me, a side effect of receiving the information? Well, whatever happened it was passed quickly but she was lost in thought after that. I expected as much given what she learned.
 
Once everyone received their bargain, we were told to leave the door to the south and we would have a night of timeless sleep. Something we really needed, and as we crossed the threshold my stomach growled so I decided to raid the kitchen in this odd multi-roomed building. Others scampered off to deal with new emotions, changes, or memories. Which left me cooking alone for Celuriel.
 
Just some quick notes.
 
Myself: A ring made for Claire for a ring made for Celuriel.
Celuriel: A century of memory stolen, for the location of her sister’s phylactery.
Burdyr: Became physically young again for years of his life, and remove half of Talinde’s champion-ness and place that burden on him.
Kraia: A family lance for a bracelet her little brother lost.
Licia: Why Syrin killed his party and almost Licia, in exchange for all the memories she has with her former party.
Cid: Gold and a Gun for ammunition
Youish: Money for a Night of timeless sleep
Teras: A locket for a photobook.
Talinde: Unlocking memories for always remembering the faces and their last words of everybody he has killed.
Lukas: Full emotions back for all of his protection from positive energy.