I stopped keeping track of the days, sue me

I’m so fucking **mad* at everyone. What the **fuck**!?!?!??!!!!
 
My mother taught me the importance of being quiet. I learned it from the best. I’m not that great at it but they’re just shooting off really **loud** weapons and kicking down doors, just **announcing** ourselves to **everyone**. We’re lucky they didn’t take out Ryleigh when we walked into that room.
 
Do they not care about us?
 
I’m going to fucking destroy them if they get you hurt.

**and you** I… I’m… I don’t like being mad at you. **but I am**.
 
~*~*~
 
After 2nd keep
 
I don't know why this has to hurt so much. Why I let it hurt me.
 
I should have known…
I'm not wanted here
I'm not wanted anywhere
 
I thought they were different
I thought… I thought they liked me.
All I have is you and Stool
And I'm okay with that
I just wanted…
I guess I wanted too much
 
I think maybe Ryleigh too but sometimes… Sometimes I just think she's placating me.
 
They seem okay with Brimeia, so I know it's not
 
I guess it's just me.
 
I shouldn't have yelled at them. They ignored me anyway… I still feel bad about it but they… they could have gotten you killed.
 
They could have gotten any of us killed and they don't seem to care. I don't want them to mess up like I did. To fuck up so bad that you realize you need to change…
 
Because that means that one of us has to die before they change…
 
I guess it won't matter if we leave first.
 
“leave”
 
I like Bellbury.
 
Or… At least what's around it. I know the one Lin definitely isn't a fan of most of us, the other one is okay. I like her.
 
why do they ignore me? Am I that bad? Even my own mother didn't come back
 
I'll skip out the next time they do something I think… they don't want me anyway.