The Light Darkens

Not allowed much in my cell, but Kramer was decent enough to retrieve my journal after I egged him on long enough.
I find myself incapable of doing anything right. Despite everyone telling how much of a bad decision I was making, I picked up the bloody hammer.
I thought I could control it, I thought I could harness and master it and subvert to my own strength and will power.
But I failed. I just wasn’t strong enough.
Befallen by my own hubris, I write this in a jail cell with my life slowly and mercilessly being siphoned from me. For I couldn’t live up to the hammers demand to taste blood and combat every waking day.
I nearly drowned myself in the sea trying to show the hammer that I was in control and threatened to leave him at the bottom of the ocean. But the bastard wouldn’t give.
Should’ve let Gob cut off my hand when we had the chance.
Upon my return to shore I became desperate for combat as the shitfuck kept draining my life energy. Finally bumped into a drunk and challenged him to a fight. Him and his friends tried to jump me all at once but fell short when I caved his head in with the hammer.
Took seven fully armed guards to bring me down and wrench the hammer away from me.
The trial to decide my fate will be here soon. Don’t know what will become of me. I can think of multiple possibilities, none of them are really good.
I’ve asked to have Tiberious and if not Elith then Zik to be my legal council for the trial. Hopefully they can figure out something to free me from these shackles, as well as this curse. But if they don’t, well then I guess it’ll just be my time to die.
Getting weaker, it’s becoming harder to draw strength. For all I know I’m already at Deaths door. I’m just waiting to see if the prick answers.
 
Kid if you’re reading this, know that I am sorry that I’ve brought dishonor to the guild. If I am to die, burn my body and scatter my ashes across the sea. You’re a good kid, one of the sharpest and most cunning I’ve ever met. Take it from me, kid; you could hang with the best of them. I’m just sad you got entangled in my own bullshit.
Give the dragon hide shield to someone who is worthy of carrying it, someone who will bring honor to the guild.
Dagni, it appears I have failed to find you on this material plane. If I die, hopefully we can meet again in the afterlife. Though I doubt someone like me will go where you’ll go once you’ve drawn your final breath. On the day I read my final hours. Know that I’ll be thinking of you.
 
Sun is getting real low, losing light and ink. Hopefully this won’t be my last entry. But if it is, then it’s as my father once said.
 
Fuck it.