spinning by Blossom | World Anvil

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23 August 1349

spinning

by Blossom Of the Hidden Oasis

part of me feels bad for lashing out, for giving into the past of anger and threats
 
but a larger part of me does not care
 
but i should care right?
 
i wanted to be better, but i feel like i am becoming worse. . .
 
i care for Sanna, Grim, Blue, and Bud
 
this is far more than i have ever cared for in my life at one time
 
i fear that caring for any more will break me
 
i can already feel myself breaking
 
there is a spiraling storm inside me, it started with Sparkos, it has increased with Enrora and i can feel it growing even now
 
like a whirlpool i feel myself being sucked into this torrent of feelings
 
i am too heartsick to have any empathy for those in power who sit back and let those under them die
 
i am too angry to care about the concerns of strangers
 
i am too disgusted to see anything than the death of a child who did not deserve it
 
i am -
 
too much, i am feeling too much
 
 
 
how can any one person feel so much and not wish to feel nothing at all?

Continue reading...

  1. strong and shiny
  2. i should have run
    19 March 1349
  3. allies?
    8 June 1349
  4. i feel. . .
    9 June 1349
  5. the race begins in earnest
    12 & 13 june 1349
  6. Sanna
    15 June 1349
  7. i am right in this
    17 June 1349
  8. Sparkos
    18 june 1349
  9. Grim
    19 June 1349
  10. i hate the rain
    27 june 1349
  11. we have an understanding
    24 july 1349
  12. i hate this
    24 july 1349
  13. knowledge is power
    25 July 1349
  14. the truth is painful
    26 July 1349
  15. i am conflicted
    27 July 1349
  16. I LOST MY ARM
    28 july 1349
  17. everything has gone to fucking shit
    29 july 1349
  18. growth and change?
    3 august 1349
  19. freedom?
    5 august 1349
  20. people are difficult
    3 august 1349
  21. i am trying
    17 august 1349
  22. a quest for friendship and adventure
    18 August 1349
  23. my fucking leg
    19 August 1349
  24. friendship and fire
    21 August 1349
  25. a girl and her horse
    22 august 1349
  26. spinning
    23 August 1349
  27. she deserved better
    25 August 1349
  28. with purpose now
    2 September 1349
  29. to thieves and tools
    2 September 1349
  30. happiness?????
    3 September 1349
  31. crushing
    4 September 1349
  32. "knowledge is power, always"
    5 September 1349
  33. the truth feels overrated
    7 September 1349
  34. they will be the death of me
    8 September 1349
  35. the gods have a sick sense of humor
    9 September 1349
  36. questionable at best
    10 September 1349
  37. point of progress
    16 September 1349
  38. the same cloth
    22 September 1349
  39. a new fear
    23 September 1349
  40. Lives over loot
    24 Sept 1349