Loss
Same story different day. Buta, I couldn't do enough, in the end. You were so strong, always there, always helping however you can, and now, we will never see your smile again. We will never converse again, or share a meal or adventure for the kisjan. Reading your note that Hilde found, seeing how awful the hands were that life gave you, time and time again, makes my heart grow cold. Being abandoned by your family, and then exiled from the people who took you in, left with no options but to seek the patronage of a presumed infernal, how do the masters accept this world. How do the kingdoms and armies sit there, hands under their asses, while good innocent people are dying, suffering, left to their own devices against the massive sweeping influence of the infernals. Worst of all, how did I not learn, I should have done more, I should have supported him better. One would think, after seeing a close friend subjected to the horrors of the infernal influence, they would be more vigilant than this, they would try to be there for others, be more aware, know the signs. I failed Sholeth then, and I failed Buta now, not strong enough, not aware enough.
What can I offer, standing so high above my classmates, when I cannot help Buta. I need to do more, I need to be able to provide something, Hilde has said, find yourself. What self, what am I? Sure I can help people, or, thought I could, but that apparently both isn't enough, and I can't do it anyway. People like Kilgore, Hilde, Ohva, they bring joy to peoples lives, they make them smile, they make people feel included, they come up with amazing ideas for things to contribute. I just stand there, and look big. Maybe I spend more time in the trees, the groves in the ring, they calm me, fewer people to let down too.
I certainly cannot return to my tribe like this, a failure of the goals I set out to achieve, the number of people who I would lead to their deaths, miss some important sign, not do enough. They would be better off with someone else, someone better. Perhaps I enlist into a rebel force, then at least I die trying to make a change, as opposed to living and doing nothing.
I hope Untermauler pulls his head out of his ass, either here, or somewhere else, because as much as I failed Buta, he did too, and he needs to atone for it.
Should start preparing for the rest of the exams, probably will fail those too.
I am sorry, both Buta, and Sholeth.
Megale's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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My second home, the library
04 Dec 2021 06:35:00
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Crafting the gem
04 Dec 2021 06:55:41
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Casting magic
07 Dec 2021 07:55:59
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Off to the ring (also summary of years past)
09 Dec 2021 05:16:36
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Finding a roommate
09 Dec 2021 11:50:09
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The Nightmares
20 Dec 2021 06:48:21
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Meeting the genasi
16 Jan 2022 02:45:38
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Feelings on Others
17 Jan 2022 09:56:04
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Year 5 Midterms
20 Jan 2022 01:13:48
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Loss
25 Jan 2022 01:50:38
04 Dec 2021 06:35:00
04 Dec 2021 06:55:41
07 Dec 2021 07:55:59
09 Dec 2021 05:16:36
09 Dec 2021 11:50:09
20 Dec 2021 06:48:21
16 Jan 2022 02:45:38
17 Jan 2022 09:56:04
20 Jan 2022 01:13:48
25 Jan 2022 01:50:38
The major events and journals in Megale's history, from the beginning to today.
My second home, the library
When I set out to make gems that would allow for multiple elements to be contained within, I did not expect that I would be spending so much time in the library, I thought there would be more actual making of gems, carving them properly, carefully craftin...
06:35 am - 04.12.2021Crafting the gem
My first attempts at making the gem itself, were a little rough. I didn't realize just how hard it would be to channel both a fire spell matrix, and an earth spell matrix in short time, but I needed to in order to not have the gem fully attune to one elem...
06:55 am - 04.12.2021Casting magic
Casting magic is an interesting feeling, Fire comes easiest, and casting it, I can feel the excitement in the magic, it flows up, and it wants to do things, it wants to have impact, it wants to warm and illuminate and burn and destroy. Tapping into it is ...
07:55 pm - 07.12.2021Off to the ring (also summary of years past)
Well, here we are, time to leave the grove. I will miss this place, it's not home, but in many ways it was similar, the wind blowing through, the sun beating down. The trees were nice, if initially confusing, I certainly spent more time with them for the ...
05:52 am - 09.12.2021Finding a roommate
Moving into the ring resulted in a new way of working living arrangements. I now reside in a very large house, castle looking to me, that has rooms of one, or two. I ended up with a lovely hillfolk halfling named Aoife. She's very relaxed, and enjoyable t...
11:50 pm - 09.12.2021Feelings on Others
Aoife Enjoyable to be around, a very nice roommate to have, I like how she chooses to decorate things. Updated: Beginning of Year 5 Kilgore A kindred spirit in many ways, her cooking reminds me of home. Updated: Beginning of Year 5 Hilde She se...
07:31 pm - 11.12.2021Extracurricular activities.
I look forward to continue to helping Sventisko, and dueling to continue to improve myself will be very enjoyable.
09:08 pm - 17.12.2021The Nightmares
I thought I was past this, waking up, cold sweat, seeing your face in terror getting dragged away from me as the last vestiges of this nightmare haunt me. What day is it today? Oh, makes sense, 8 years to the day, since I last saw you, I saw the p...
06:48 am - 20.12.2021Year 5 Midterms
Oh great, the part of this that I don't get, I use the magic, why do I need to know how many points there are in a matrix, or what parts of my body I use to cast them....sigh Numerology: I hate this course, and I failed the exam. That's all....
12:34 am - 14.01.2022Meeting the genasi
Terberisa is.... interesting. I get the impression her sense of self is in flux right now. Getting to talk with her, to meet her, and sit there and understand where she came from and what she wants, I felt some sense of kinship. She wants the people with ...
10:30 pm - 15.01.2022Loss
Same story different day. Buta, I couldn't do enough, in the end. You were so strong, always there, always helping however you can, and now, we will never see your smile again. We will never converse again, or share a meal or adventure for the kisjan. Rea...
01:50 am - 25.01.2022The list of amazing people following the adventures of Megale.
Social
Family Ties
Very very close to her tribe, cares immensely for all of them, who she views with the same love as her family.
Social Aptitude
Average social aptitude, can be a bit blunt.
Hobbies & Pets
Kisjan, Competitive Dueling