Goatersnipe

Names: Goatersnipe, Guttersnouts, The Bleating Blight, Noblegoat (derogatory)

Appearance: Goatersnipes are scruffy, horned goat-like beasts with coarse, wiry fur in blotchy shades of grey, brown, and bile-yellow. Their twisted horns spiral in irregular directions, often weaponized in fits of rage, and their hooves are oversized, splayed, and somehow always muddy. Most unsettling of all are their eyes: vaguely human in shape, watery, and unnervingly expressive, as if silently plotting your downfall.

Ecology: Goatersnipes are primarily bred in the Goaterspires of Emburn by House Sheer, who raise them for their valuable but hard-won milk, meat, and fur. Though technically domesticated, Goatersnipes display little actual obedience and require constant supervision, a job usualy dedicated to Serf. They’re known to gnaw through fences, mimic being wounded to lure caretakers, and once reportedly chewed through a dozen serfs.

Highly adaptable, they thrive in damp hill regions and overgrown thickets, often escaping into nearby towns or rival farms where they wreak havoc before being recaptured (or bribed with fermented root vegetables). It’s rumored that particularly old Goatersnipes can remember insults and hold grudges for years, launching sneak attacks on unsuspecting former handlers.

Their milk is rich in fat and oddly spicy, used in hard cheeses and pungent soaps. Their hides, once tanned, are nearly waterproof and highly durable.

Cultural Impact: To the serfs of Emburn, Goatersnipes are a symbol of misfortune and resilience. Ugly, angry, but too stubborn to die. They appear in dozens of folktales, usually as mischievous villains, vengeful spirits, or metaphors for stubborn nobles. “Bleat at your betters like a Goatersnipe” is a common phrase among sarcastic servants.

Among Commoners, Goatersnipe herders are seen as a special breed of mad or desperate, and Goatersnipe cheese is a status item in some circles. Equal parts bravery test and delicacy.

Some radical The Serf-Pipeline sympathizers have even jokingly adopted the Goatersnipe as a mascot: a beast that cannot be tamed, only endured, and never forgets mistreatment.

Certain hedge-wizards claim Goatersnipes were originally the failed product of a drunken spell to make “the perfect livestock.” If so, they succeeded in making something unforgettable.

And perhaps unforgivable.