The Deck of Manly Things
"Guy Kruger - step forth. As your fifteenth year ends, it is time to leave childhood behind and take your place as a man. Is your mind prepared for the rigors of manhood?"
"My mind is clear, and ready to serve the clan."
"Is your spirit cleansed, as a man's must be?"
"My spirit is pure, and ready to uplift the clan."
"Is your body robust, to support the burdens of becoming a man?"
"My body is strong, and ready to support the clan."
"Clear mind, pure spirit, strong body. A clear mind to choose wisely, a pure spirit to please the Gods, and a strong body to endure the change. The choice is upon you."
"I choose five."
Mechanics & Inner Workings
The prize possession of the Kruger clan of Goliaths, the Deck of Manly Things is a key part of their coming-of-age ceremony. The deck consists of 26 cards, each depicting a different aspect of manhood. The male children of the clan draw from the deck on their 15th birthday (the female children have a different ceremony). While they can draw any number of cards, most draw three. Less than that is seen as cowardly, while more is seen as egotistical. Those who do draw more and come out with a good result are usually lauded for their bravery, however. The children of the leaders, currently Guy, Hans, and Franz, are expected to take five, and each one did.
Before one draws a card, they must declare how many cards they intend to draw and then draw them randomly. Any cards drawn in excess of this number have no effect, and no one can ever draw from the deck again after their initial draw. As soon as a card is drawn from the deck, its magic takes effect. The user must draw each card no more than 1 hour after the previous draw. If they fail to draw the chosen number, the remaining number of cards fly from the deck on their own and take effect all at once. In the coming-of-age ceremonies, after drawing a card and experiencing the effects, the person drawing the cards ponders the changes to themselves and demonstrates the effects for the onlookers with equipment provided by the clan.
Once a card is drawn, it fades from existence, reappearing somewhere within the Deck. The same card can be drawn multiple times by a single person, and this is considered a particularly important omen when it happens.
The crude artwork on the Cards are a visual representation of the Manly attribute the Card influences. Each Card is also named, in some cases clearly and succinctly, in some cases as a riddle understood by almost no one. Each card and its known effects are listed below:
- All About That Bass: No treble - a man's voice is deep and dulcet, and yours drops to that ideal. The smooth sound puts people at ease, and you get a +2 to all Charisma ability checks that involve speaking.
- The Beard: Nothing is manlier than a good beard. You grow a soft, luxurious beard and corresponding mustache. The beard is eight inches long, and both the beard and mustache are thick and free of grey. If the beard is cut or shaved, it regrows entirely at the next dawn, turning more grey every time. The percentage of grey goes to 1% with the first cut, then doubles each time until the eighth cut grows back in entirely grey. Removing it again causes it to grow back immediately.
- Best Friend: An enormous dog comes bounding up to you. It is now your constant companion, refusing to leave your presence (unless it has a comfortable bed and a lot of treats). The dog is a mastiff that can grow as a warrior sidekick along with you. No other animals will bond with you as long as the dog lives, and its natural life span is 10-12 years beyond when you first meet it.
- Come At Me, Bro: A man knows how to fight when necessary, and some people need to be put in their place. If a fight starts - or looks like it's going to start - you have a 50% chance of taunting the opposing side whether you want to or not. For the duration of the fight, all enemy combatants must make a DC20 Wisdom save to target anyone other than you, and all attacks directed at you are made with advantage.
- Cool Ride, Bro: A man's ride says a lot about him, and yours says you are awesome. Before you appears a magical wagon. The wagon can be towed by up to four horses and can conjure two magic horse constructs to pull it if none are available. A barely-seen servant is permanently enchanted to sit on the driver's seat, although a person taking up the reins can override the chauffeur. The wagon itself is 20' long from the driver's seat to the rearmost span, and it has four independently moving axles. The rear five feet of the wagon is open to the sky with a well-cushioned, deep bench that stretches the entire six-foot width of the wagon. The area between this porch and the driver is fully enclosed, with double doors on either side, and equally well-cushioned benches lining the interior walls. A wet bar is installed on the wall behind the driver's seat and comes fully stocked with whiskey.
- The Cuckold: A man keeps his woman. You are the man who took her. You remember a drunken night and a dark-haired beauty, and thinking back she had some symbol of marriage. Her husband is coming for you.
- Drink Like a Man: You're a man, so drink like one. You cannot drink wine or liqueurs. When drinking beer, spirits, or heavy spirits, the impact of the alcohol is cut in half. In addition, addiction points are doubled, Drunken Charm uses a d6, and Feel No Pain runs from levels 3 through 7.
- Fatal Attraction: Sometimes a man is just too much. You recall a drunken night and a beautiful but unstable woman. She's coming for you.
- Fashionable Male: A fashionable male has no respect for people with no shopping agenda. You have one - ensuring that you always have the most current fashion in any situation, from your hat to your socks. You must spend at least 20% of your income on clothing, and refuse to wear anything older than 6 months.
- The Fire Within: When a man loves a woman, he can't keep his mind on nothing else. You recall a drunken night and a red-haired beauty that haunts your dreams. You must find her and make her yours. If you concentrate, you know where she is. But you can't concentrate on anything else. If you can convince her to declare her love for you within a year, you gain a permanent +1 to charisma; otherwise, you permanently reduce your charisma by 1. In either case, the effect ends after one year, or after the declaration of love.
- The Gambler: A man knows when to hold 'em, and knows when to fold 'em. You gain a +4 to deception, insight, and sleight of hand checks related to gambling. In addition, if for any reason you know it's time to run, you get advantage on checks made to escape during a chase. Finally, you are compelled to join any gambling game you come across, although the compulsion fades once you have either lost half of your initial stake, or doubled it.
- Grapple with Fate: All men must grapple with fate, but you get to do so more literally than most. A genie appears, the particular type depending on the environment and luck, and challenges you to a wrestling match. If you accept and win, the genie grants you a single wish within its power. If you lose, the genie spends several minutes gloating over his victory, then heals your wounds and wishes you well. If you refuse, the genie leaves, but you can never again benefit from a wish from any source.
- The Hunter: A man provides. Gain proficiency in Survival and a +2 to any Nature checks directly related to prey animals. Unless you are in an area nearly devoid of animal life, you can provide yourself with food from the land.
- I Smoke My Cigarettes with Style: While it may be an addictive substance and a filthy habit, a man looks good doing it. You gain a case that holds twenty "cigarettes" - a pipe bowl's worth of tobacco wrapped in thin parchment - that refills every dawn. While smoking a cigarette, you gain +4 to all charisma checks. If you go more than 2 hours without smoking, you become jittery and have a -2 to all checks. If you do not smoke all 20 cigarettes by the end of the day, you are unable to long rest.
- I Won't Back Down: A man stands up for what he believes in! Or, for whatever declaration he made without thinking! You cannot reverse any audibly stated position without succeeding at a DC15 Charisma check. If you do succeed in changing your position, you permanently have disadvantage on any charisma checks with anyone in earshot when you changed positions. If you stick to your position, regardless of any evidence or lack thereof, you have advantage on Charisma checks to sway people to your side. If you have stated that you can perform an act, no matter how difficult, you have advantage on attempts to do so. If someone asks you to prove the statement, you must either do it or flee as fast as you can until you are out of sight of the one who asked. If the phrase "double dog dare" comes into play, you get a bonus of +2 to the attempt or take 10d6 psychic damage if you flee.
- Johnny Guitar: A man's music can soothe the savage breast. A strangely shaped lute - flat-backed, straight-necked, and curved like a voluptuous woman - appears before you. You gain proficiency with it, but not with standard lutes. If you visibly carry the instrument, you gain a +2 to all charisma checks. If you incorporate playing it, the gain becomes +4. You must have practiced with the instrument for at least two hours the previous day to gain the bonuses. Not practicing for four straight days, or seven days out of any 30, results in the guitar disappearing.
- King in His Castle: A man's home is his castle, and a man defends it! If you have resided in a building for at least one week, you can designate it as your home. In that home, you are granted a lair action based on the type of building you can use on initiative count 20 in any combat occurring at your home base.
- King of the Road: A man can be a man of means or no means, but he can always be the King of the Road. Your extensive traveling means you know the roads well, including which locks aren't locked when no one's around, but it also means that you are incapable of asking for directions - you are sure you're going the right way. As King of the Road, it's your road, and woe to any who get in the way. If someone does, make a DC20 wisdom save or go into a mindless frenzied rage as you attack the interloper.
- Ladies' Man: Women want to be with you! If you can be seen, all charisma-related abilities focused on women use strength instead of charisma for the modifier, and initial attitudes are raised one level. All attempts to persuade or deceive women are made with advantage, and you cannot attempt to intimidate women.
- Mans' Man: Men want to be you! If you can be seen, all charisma-related abilities focused on men use strength instead of charisma for the modifier, and initial attitudes are raised one level. All attempts to persuade, deceive, or intimidate men are made with advantage; attempts to determine a man's intent with insight are made at disadvantage.
- MacGyver: A man knows how to fix things, and a real man can apply that in a lot of ways. You gain a permanent +2 to intelligence, and advantage on any check for fixing something or improvising a solution.
- My Word is My Bond: A man honors his word once given. If you give your word, any charisma check that you could otherwise pass you succeed automatically. You also fall under a permanent geas that requires you to fulfill the letter and spirit of the oath.
- Paternity: Virility is important to a man, but a man also takes responsibility. You have a child. 50% of all of your earnings for the next two decades will be magically redirected to the care of the child.
- Pump You Up: Do not be a girly man! You have perfected the muscle-building workout, and it has allowed you to sculpt your body into a more powerful package. Your strength increases by 2, but you must spend three hours a day working out to maintain it. If you miss this more than one day a month, you lose the bonus strength permanently.
- Self-Reliance: The effects of this card are unclear. Everyone who has drawn it has immediately disappeared, never to be seen again.
- Upper Body Man: A man should understand balance. You skipped leg day too many times. While your upper body physique has become a thing of marble sculptures, the sculptor gave up on the lower body. Your upper body strength, which includes weapon attacks, is increased by 1d4; your lower body strength, which includes jump distances and carrying capacity, is decreased by the same amount.
- Welcome to the Gun Show: A man is proud of his accomplishments. Your arms are a work of art - your biceps bulge, your triceps are triumphant. They are so magnificent that you must ensure that everyone sees them. You are compelled to make sure that everything you wear is sleeveless at all times, and your magnificent limbs do not require armor to protect them as well as a full set. Sleeveless as fashionable or functional is expensive, and the modifications cost half again the standard price for a garment, although magic items respect the guns enough to automatically conform. You gain +2 to strength as long as your arms are uncovered. If you leave your arms covered for over an hour, your strength will waste away, resulting in a permanent -4 to strength.
History
In the aftermath of the Shattering and the death of the Aegrus Occisor, the continent of Helion was a lawless and dangerous land. It was a time of death and opportunity for those willing to seize it, and Berengar Kruger was such a goliath. Most of his clan had been wiped out during the Shattering, so he set out to found a new one.
He left the coastal village he was born in, and headed north into the land that would become known as Conceptia. He traveled across much of the continent, reaching the frozen coast before turning to the east, eventually coming to the World Eye. The Eye was still open to travelers at the time, and Kruger explored it as much as any since the shattering. Much of what he encountered there has been lost to history, but it is clear that he found the Deck somewhere in the region. The most commonly believed tale about his time in the eye was that he made a wager with a dragon with the deck as the prize. The Kruger family tells a different story among themselves, although only fragments have been picked up by others. These tell a tale of a creature from a wild and untamed land, made of red crystal and covered in eyes, who gifted the Deck in exchange for a promise that the family must one day fulfill.
No matter the origin, Berengar held onto the Deck until he reached a plateau in the hills that was perfect for a burgeoning clan. At the clearing that is the center of Krugerburg to this day, he drew from the Deck a dozen times. The Deck bestowed boon after boon, and Kruger used his newfound strength to carve out a new nation for goliaths, a place for the nearly extinct race to rebuild and grow.
Significance
The Deck of Manly Things is an echo of a different magic item, found on other planes of existence and other crystal spheres throughout the phlogiston. The Jewel prevented this insidious magic from working its way into the Terrene, but it could not prevent all traces of it. Somehow, this strange version has supplanted the original's place in the world, although it is unclear if this was the intention of whomever created it.
Comments