Gimble's Cattle Armour

GImble, the incredible mind behind Knot Quite Inventions in Daring Heights, was once commissioned to make a suit of armour for a local adventurer. Gimble is widely known as brilliant and gifted, but also a little hard of hearing and not one to ask questions of a customer. The Bag of Folding is a particularly well known device of his, as a result.
So, when he had a customer ask for a fantastic suit of cattle armour, that's exactly what he provided. A few local cows were rented from a confused farmer and a few weeks of measuring and testing saw the delighted gnome present to the expectant warrior a fully armoured and battle-ready bovine. Gimble was confused when the warrior claimed this was not at all what he wanted and left in a huff. This kept happening to him, but he couldn't work out what more to do to satisfy his customers. This cow really was very well armoured.
When the Orcs attacked Daring, Gimble was there too, defending the town as best he could, and he brought out this armour and purchased himself a bovine steed from a fleeing farmer. Few saw Gimble really participate in the battle, and fewer still believed what they saw, but certainly the final vision of many orcs and xvarts that day was of a charging cow, spinning metal horns protruding from its skull and stone pellets being propelled out like a repeating sling from protrusions on its sides. Gimble sat atop the barded beast behind a metal screen, where he frantically turned the cranks which powered both the spinning horns and the repeating pellet shooters. It was a glorious day, and would have been a great advertisement for his work had he been anywhere near anyone else, and had the cow not eventually become frightened and fled, taking Gimble with her.
As Daring was reclaimed and rebuilt, the cattle armour was put aside and forgotten in a dusty shed behind Knot Quite Inventions, amongst so many of the gnome's brilliant but baffling designs. Perhaps that's for the best.