Episode notes:immortal woman
Just want to give a shout to my friend Old Pat, i missed you this morning you weren’t at your usual spot man I hope everything’s ok with you brother. If anyone see’s him give him a few dollars for me!
With all this crazy shit going down we have to remember to take care of each other people. That’s what the Black Report is all about people! You think the governments gonna take care of you? The fat cats up in Winegarden? The only way to protect yourself is to arm yourself with the truth! Well, or maybe a gun or something. Anyway! Sorry I got a little off track
Todays episode is a doozy. I’m calling it “the Immortal woman”. so the basic story is this, there’s a woman who has popped up many times throughout this city’s history at very strange and unexplained events. We’ve done a lot of legwork and appears to me all of these sightings are the same person. Let’s get to th...
Sorry to interrupt but this story just got a lot more interesting! I’ve got a tip that just came in this morning that places this woman in the city very recently! So stay tuned to the end of the show, you’ll hear more about it.
Let’s get back to the sightings?
The sightings
1844 - police circulate sketches of individuals wanted in connection to a series of Winegarden stagecoach robberies, in which seemingly random and worthless items are stolen; among the reported thieves is a woman with dark hair and striking features, described as ‘wearing vibrant scarlet and hues of crimson’
1898 - we have 3 separate sightings here, #1. in a newspaper photograph of Mayor Brinks giving a speech we see a tall, dark haired woman in the crowd.
#2 another newspaper photograph detailing the booming success of Mercy’s Hat Shoppe, the same tall, dark haired woman can be seen in the background, seeming to watch the celebrated new milliner, Michael WuTang. Within the next two months, Michael becomes a recluse, and eventually vanishes.
#3 It was reported in the tabloids that Michael WuTang and a dark-haired associate were suspects in the murder of a high ranking official in the Ecalibur Trading Co. We don’t have a photo in this case, but what makes this case interesting is we have a name. Delia
1905- Archaelogist find 5,000 year old drawings that depict a tall dark haired woman with light skin and strange clothing, holding some sort magical cup, and the word translated as “qahwa” or “dark one” was written underneath. Experts are divided as to whether it refers to the woman or the magical cup.
1919 - Ester Goodly, known for historic portraiture such as ‘Lantern in the Storms’ (an image of Claudette Dumont) begins her infamous surrealistic period with ‘Figure in the Doorway’, a haunting image of a dark-haired woman emerging from the dark. Ester goes on to struggle with mental and social disorders for the rest of her life
1933 - an amateur photographer snaps a shot of a ‘figure of light’ at a seance being held at the Belmont Hotel, which is celebrated as ‘proof of ghosts’ for at least a decade. In the grainy image, a tall, dark-haired woman is seen in a crowd of attendees, wearing what could be described as alien and outlandish clothing.
1947 - a ‘weather balloon’ crashes Just Out Of Town, but the ensuing government investigation remains classified for years. Recently declassified photos show a striking, dark-haired woman dressed entirely in black among the officials at the crash site even though there is no record of her listed in the released documents.
1956 - the City’s Lemuria Zoo experiences a string of animal deaths over a six month period, resulting in a temporary closure. Investigative photographs by aspiring detective Mimsy Tooks feature distant shots of two figures, a short person in a hood and a dark-haired woman in a long jacket, removing what appears to be a cage from the exotic animals building. Shortly thereafter, the deaths cease and the Zoo reopens.
1971 - protest songs created by the counterculture movement at Karma U make multiple references to ‘dark-haired star visitors’ and ‘the bloodless among us’. Over the summer, at least two students are independently apprehended by campus police, trying to break into the university’s experimental physics lab. Each claim ‘the star woman told me to’. The lab is shut down permanently at the end of summer.
1985-a dark haired woman jumped onstage and reportedly started dancing in a strange, awkward way during a Talking Heads concert. Security escorted her out the side door but don’t have any memory of doing so. The members of the band have gone on record claiming that they don’t remember any of this event even happening, even though video footage of the concert clearly shows the on stage antics.
1999 - local Truth Seeker and zine curator Harold “Skywalker” Zgutowicz goes missing after publishing several accounts of possible abductions by dark-haired, female-bodied aliens, and his intent to ‘hunt them down’. Security footage secured from his last known location at the docks shows him meeting with a figure with dark hair, and then following that figure to an unknown destination.
2008 - in the hotly debated ‘Monster Autopsy’ video footage leaked to the internet (supposedly recorded in the 1980s), one can see three figures reflected in the glass over the observation room. One of them is a female figure with dark hair and indistinguishable features, who seems to gesture occasionally to the on-screen personnel performing the autopsy, showing that she is in a position of authority.
Ok, so those seem pretty interesting right? But how do we explain this? Well it’s time for Mr Black to connect the dots for you.
let’s get to the theory’s
The Theories:
The Eternal theory: According to the Book Ma Vell, Ancient God’s called the Celestials visited Earth five million years ago and experimented with human beings in order to create “Eternals”. These eternals could live super long life spans and also developed special abilities. The purpose of these Eternals varies. According to the Book of Jack ch 1.v 3 “the Celestials created them to protect humanity from forces of evil called deviants”. But the Gospel according to Neil ch 12. v 7 states that the Eternals were “never meant to protect Humanity as they thought. Instead, they were actually created to "cultivate" them, as the Celestials saw the human population as a useful pathogen” . it also goes on to say that the “deviants” were also created by the celestials when their experiments with humans didn’t go as planned.
Comments;
Explains extra long life-
1)In line w/ monster autopsy sighting, - they’re studying us
2)Zoo deaths were caused by a deviant-they’re protecting us
3)excalibur official was a deviant in disguise
-NO, deviants are always described as monstrous or having some deformity.
4)Inventing coffee and amazing hats does seem like something a god-like race would do.
5) ester goodly was experimented on by them and that’s why she went mad
6) weather balloon, figure of light, winegarden stagecoach robbery
So this theory is fairly legit and can be connected to almost all of the sightings
There can be only 1: This folktale is told in the highlands and tells the tales of people who are immortal. They walk amoung us and live normal lives. They can only die if they are beheaded. They are on a constant quest to seek out other immortals and kill them, until there is only 1 left. What happens then? Who the fuck knows? The end of the world? The secret to immortality is revealed? Or maybe some god-like race that simply want to amuse itself.
Comments: 1) Harold skywalker was never seen again,
2) excalibur murder was beheading.
3) Stupid! Fake news Stories like this to give people like us a bad name. That’s why they always laughed at me when I call into Bettys radio show. Some people have seen too many movies.
The Icke theory: tall, blood-drinking, reptilian humanoids from the Alpha Draconis star system, now hiding in underground bases, are the force behind a worldwide conspiracy against humanity.[18] He contends that most of the world's ancient and modern leaders are related to these reptilians, including the Merovingian dynasty, and the Bush family, They have cultivated a skill called “flesh crafting” in which they make skin masks that perfectly hide their appearance from humans. In this theory the woman is not necessarily the same woman, but simply an identical skin mask being made over and over again.
Comments:
1898 assassination and spying on the mayor
Break in at Karma U, they were trying to keep the humans from obtaining too much technology and eventually discovering their secret.
Weather balloon- was actually a ship from Alpha Draconis bringing who knows what- accidentally crashed- cover up
Stage coach robbery,invention of coffee, monster autopsy, skywalker disappearance, Ester goodly all fit this storyline
Pretty good theory but Until we find an actual skin mask, we’ll probably never know for sure
Some say the secret society is not Aliens but actually the Fashion industry. And instead of skin masks to hide their identity they have male models brainwashed and trained as secret assassins.
1898 poisoning as proof. WuTang was mastermind, Delia -male model. They say the Mayor was a possible target but cut a deal at the last moment and Excalibur went down instead
1933 figure of light at the seance - perfect description of a male model
Winegarden stagecoach robbery -”wearing vibrant scarlet and hues of crimson”
Ancient topless woman inventing coffee- definately model
Talking heads concert, some say they sending a message to david Byrne who was about to blow the whistle on the whole industry. Which I guess it worked because he has never commented on the incident. Others say it was a failed attempt to end the fashion monstrosity called the” big suit”. not familiar with the big suit, google “Talking Heads big suit” right now!... Are you there yet… you got it yet?...Yeah, what the hell right? I have nothing to add, that suit speaks for itself.. next...
I know I know I know, there’s one big hole in this theory right. How can a male model be immortal? Well, The answer is simple, The answer is they’re NOT IMMORTAL. I’m gonna tell you a hard truth here folks...when average looking people like us gaze upon a “really, really, really, really good-looking” person. We can’t tell them apart!
I don’t know about you but I think the Fashion industry conspiracy is probably the most likely because it’s been proven in a court of law to be true. If you don’t remember About a decade ago legendary whistleblower and hero Maury Ballstein exposed the industry for what it really was. People went to jail!
But... is it possible that was just a cover for the REAL conspiracy...I don’t know..Maybe the God-like Eternals were attracted to the fashion industry because they’re so incredibly good looking. Or maybe Gisele’s going to rip off her face and reveal her true identity as a lizard at fashion week. I’ve seen enough strange shit in this city to believe that anything’s possible.
Speaking of stra…..
Ok, lets get to the hot tip i got this morning. So, you all know how this works, i put the flyers out before sunrise, they get spread through the city, thanks for your help with that by the way, that way you all know where to go to get the podcast blah blah blah. Well, I get this email just a few hours later this morning that say’s and I quote “ “Hey, I totally just saw one of these women at the Wild Hunt last Thursday night! I swear it was her! She was making out with an octopus! Or maybe that was me? Anyway, pretty sure she was there”. So I’m like, shit, i gotta get that in the show! So, looks like there’s gonna be some more investigating on this story. Don’t worry, Mr Black is already working on part 2. We’re in this together, so Keep the tips coming in and We’ll keep on digging.
...strange shit, it’s not like Old Pat to not be there. Please If anyone has seen him contact me.
Ok,lets wrap this up on an upbeat! . I Hope you liked the show, hope it gave you something to think about. And now it’s time for today’s song . This is very fitting for because this artist was PROOF that aliens are amoung us. There’s no way a human being could do the things he did with a guitar. He’s really, really, really good looking, alien lizard, super human who is definately still alive. also one of Old Pat’s favorite quotes came from this song . “If life is just a dream, call me a dreamer to….
this has been the black report.
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