Sun, Mar 31st 2024 11:30   Edited on Mon, Mar 17th 2025 12:59

Coming Clean is Half the Battle

Brimstone Whammy by Synthography by CB Ash
 
It took only moments before the Street Judges could haul a battered Karakas and his wounded co-workers out of the cantina. The Death Watch commando took longer as he took offense to being manhandled.
 
Heavy stun at point blank range made for excellent diplomacy.
 
Meanwhile, smoke was cleared out of the cantina in no time. Despite new blaster marks on the walls and more than a few broken tables, the establishment was none the worse for wear. Despite the combat, and new battle decorations, Olee Pindol’s mood remained as upbeat as ever.
 
She even treated Dizzy and Iwa to a new round of burgers and drinks on the house for no hard feelings. There was even an offer of jobs as bouncers if the ladies ever wanted it.
 
That is, all of which came after Iwa’s rage subsided. Leaving her far less likely to tear up nearby patrons as fun-time confetti or a Corellian piñata. Aches and pains from the fight with Karakas began to slowly make themselves known to Iwa.
 
Judge Drifter located an intact table and righted it back on its feet. After which he sat across the table from Iwa and Dizzy. He pulled off his helmet to reveal the easily recognizable features of a clone trooper that shared all too many facial features as Dizzy.
 
“Now, before we get into the ‘impersonating a Street Judge’ bit… really, off the record. What are you two doing on world?” Drifter asked.
Tue, Apr 2nd 2024 04:58

I groan a LOT and accept the burger and fries from Olee with a lovely Dagobah Slug Slinger from Dizzy and settle down to refuel. Rage is not my preferred method to handle conflict, but sometimes it is better diplomacy. I notice Judge Drifter plop down across from us. I study him while I am ostensibly eating. He is an obvious 'sibling' to Dizzy, but he somehow lacks her effervescent spirit. She has fun and you can tell it just by looking at her while he does not give off that vibe at all.   I seem to recall hearing the same sarcastic wit from comms chatter during the early part of the fight before things got blurry, so that is encouraging. It would be very helpful to have someone on our side on this planet. Now, what was I supposed to be doing??? Oh, that's right. Find some medallions to pay for my armor and help Dizzy plan her wedding. I really wish she was more excited about NOT wearing armor for her wedding dress. Something light and gauzy............I flip back to the conversation when I hear, “Now, before we get into the ‘impersonating a Street Judge’ bit… really, off the record. What are you two doing on world?” Drifter asked.   "Me? I'm just picking up some goods and paying for them with a bit of service. You?" I causally respond.
Tue, Apr 2nd 2024 02:28

I nod in agreement with Iwa's summary. "Scouting out the tailoring contractors is just a happenstance bonus," I add. "Got samples and sales pitch from one. Maybe we'll get a few more before our return flight. Tell us a little about the Judges being so very present today. Is this all over the whole city of Nelden? Or something particular about the Urmbrek Market?"
 
Because this is the second Judge we've noticed within less than two hours. And my understanding is that they usually operate in pairs. And Judge Vos jumped on the chance to volunteer me as a pro tem bailiff.
And it is probably not a coincidence that this is also the second firefight to trip over us in the same amount of time.
I suspect there's a faction war in progress. That it's tied into Irrit Deeneru stealing something from an Imperial Moff to sell to the representatives of a Hutt.
I can't help thinking that the Order of Solicitors are out in force to disrupt some big conflict while it's still building.
 
I wonder if I ought to be shuffling Iwa off-planet.
I wonder if this city is counting down to a literal explosion.
Sun, Apr 14th 2024 05:43   Edited on Sun, Apr 14th 2024 06:50

Drifter rubbed his eyes, as if trying to wipe away a shadow of lost sleep that haunted them. After that, he raised an eyebrow at Iwa before he cut a glance at Dizzy. Then, with a sigh, he tapped a com-channel switch inside his black, Street Judge helmet. A faint glow inside registered ‘on break’.
 
“I shouldn’t say anything,” Drifter replied while he nodded at Dizzy. “But she’s family, and that means ‘trust’. So if Dizzy trusts you, then you’ve got a lot of people that also trust you. Dizzy can explain just how many some other time.”
 
Drifter idly waved a hand. “I’m part of a task force sent by the Order of Solicitors. The organization I work for as a Street Judge. We’re tracking down a couple of big problems but trying to do it quietly.”
 
He smiled at Olee when she appeared with a dark drink with ice, a layer of white foam thick enough to take a nap on, dotted with what looked to be chocolate puff balls.
 
“Thanks, Olee.”
 
“No, thank you, Judge. Just holler if you need anything, suga’.”
 
He took a sip then picked up where he left off once the cantina owner hurried off to deal with another patron.
 
“Firefek, that’s good. Anyway, first there’s a faction war about to erupt. Three sides are about to go at it. Rogga and her people, the Pyke Sindicate, and a Moff Porth Cabale and his people. Rogga and the Pykes have been at it for some time but it’s getting real hot right now.”
 
“Believe it or not, it’s not spice or anything of the kind, but antiques. Art stolen during the Civil War. Statues, holopaintings, you name it. Cultural pieces. They are selling for stupid amounts of credits on the black market to high end buyers.” Drifter shrugged. “Rumors say Rogga plans to use the art market as a way to traffic illegal weapons. The Pykes? Spice of course. As for Moff Porth Cabale? That slimebag traffics in stolen art, but so far nothing comes close to sticking to put him away.”
 
Drifter pulls out a small datapad and turns it on. An image of Irrit Deeneru appears on the holoscreen.
 
“Enter Irrit Deeneru. High end thief with a record of theft longer than a Star Destroyer. It’d be nice to arrest her, but really she’s got an art piece that is real important. It belongs to the Cragmoloid people, which it needs to go back to. But, there’s something else about it that makes it even more important which gets into the second problem.”
 
Drifter took another sip from his drink then glanced at the ladies.
 
“There’s a data chip hidden on that relic with partial coordinates to a cache of stolen Street Judge weapons, armor, and other things that both Rogga and the Pykes want. Rumor has it that Porth Cabale arranged it. If Rogga or the Pykes get it, they could use it to impersonate Judges and make it stick long enough to cause some ugly problems. The other half the coordinates? Not sure. Rumor is that a deep dive miner stumbled over them, but no one can confirm it.”
 
Slowly he tapped the table lightly as if bleeding off honest stress that showed in his eyes.
 
“We tracked the stash of Street Judge gear this world. Specifically this city, either in or just outside it. Where? No idea.”
 
Worry mingled with stress in his expression.
 
“If that’s not bad enough, I’ve noticed some… discrepancies… in Judge activity. Rulings and such. Nothing big, but little things that don’t add up.” Drifter toyed with his cup then glanced first at Dizzy, then at Iwa.
 
“I’m convinced that either Rogga or the Pykes have someone on the inside of the Solicitor task force. Someone on staff altering records, a traitor Street Judge, or even a fake Street Judge.” He met Dizzy’s eyes. “I can’t tell any of our siblings, like Razak. Sure, he’s blood family, but if he got anyone involved, it’d fast-jump the blaster fire. Which means, slow burn, stealth runs at all this while keeping the blaster-play to a minimum.”
 
At that, Drifter took another drink to let that sink in.
 
“So, there you have it. That’s why I’m here, bustin’ my shebs to not let this turn gang war while rooting out the rot. The locals here in Nelden city don’t need to ever experience any sort of gang war.”
 
After another drink he squinted at Dizzy with obvious mock-scorn.
 
“Which, by the way, vod’ika, why didn't I get an invite to this party you’re setting up? I mean, c’mon! You know I’d be good for the party favors.”
Mon, Apr 15th 2024 11:54   Edited on Mon, Apr 15th 2024 11:55

"One does not script the formal invitations," I tell Drifter in my snootiest Vor Bore impression, "until one has locked down the precise venue and date. Of course you're going to be invited, you knob!"
That settled, I turn to Iwa. "We're going to need duct tape, clown shoes and a one-size-fits-most ruffled collar that fastens in the back, and a couple spray cans of skin-safe day glow chartreuse paint. Maybe three cans. You want to look up costume supply stores while I look up twi'lek fashion model supply warehouses? Or other way around?
Fri, Apr 26th 2024 07:14

I start to nod and then stop. What the absolute farfek!?!?!? I stare at Dizzy and then shake my head slowly, trying to clear the sic-six's webbing from the head as I am obviously missing more than half of this conversation.   I try to replay it in my head and yet it still does not match with Dizzy's response. I am old, I am a grandmother, but the mental gymnastics that I just observed makes me feel completely ancient.   "Why do you always go for the wrong color scheme? You do know this is why planning your wedding is taking so very long as I do not want you to be unhappy with the holographic images after the fact. Chartreuse is certainly eye-catching and will probably make the point you are working on, but why not a simple dreamwort yellow to send the message?" I grouse
Drifter pursed his lips then arched an eyebrow at Dizzy with a half-smile. After that he gave Iwa the same look.
 
“If you ask her sisters why, they’ll say she was dropped on her head once too often as a child. A few of her brothers say that, too. My own theory is that she’s got a secret collection of ‘Irritated Officials of the Galaxy’ trading card collection and she’s going for the full set.”  
A heartbeat of silence passes while Drifter squints in light concentration. An eerie feeling passes around the table.
 
“But… I can tell you’ve traveled with her for a bit now. Especially, since it seems you’re here to help her not run head first into a fashion disaster, since most of us know a bantha’s butt worth about fashion and too much about armor, weapons, and the like.”
 
He extended a hand to Iwa.
 
“Just to observe the proprieties, they call me Drifter. Yes, I’m a Street Judge, but that’s just the job right now? You?”
Mon, Jun 24th 2024 01:33

"Please just call me Iwa."   "It does sound like there are some solid problems facing you here on this planet. We also keep running into problems - even ignoring the horrible color selections of Dizzy here", and I turn to smirk at her.   "As Dizzy mentioned, this is the second firefight today alone and we still haven't been able to work on finding the art objects we are looking for, Yes, we are also looking for something in the art line that has been stolen and needs to be returned to the natives it was taken from. In fact, it might be the very same things you are looking to return to the Cragmoloid people."   "Bottom line, we are happy to help as there might come a time when we might need your help as well since we appear to be working at least tangentially with each other." I take another long drink from the Slug Slinger and begin to think seriously about another burger. That fight took a lot out of me.
“Bright suns, then, Iwa.”
 
Drifter chuckled at the joke about Dizzy’s fashion sense.
 
“Some of her brothers are worse,” he added then took a sip of his drink.
 
“Dorella has it’s fair share of gunfights, but it’s no Outer Rim settlement with almost no order outside a warlord. But still, two in one day is way over the limit.”
 
The judge frowned for a moment, wrestling with a thought.
 
“Cragmaloids? They suffered a lot under the old Emperor of the Star Empire. Corrupt Imperials targeted them more times than not. Do you have any leads on this piece of art? Cragmaloids tend to stay to themselves so their art will hit a high price on the shadow market. Hutts will be interested as well.”
Sun, Jul 14th 2024 08:28

"At least I have some fashion sense," I mutter. "I score better on that one than all the Roughnecks put together."
“Especially since you know that ‘cologne’ or ‘perfume’ isn’t just another way to say ‘blaster pistol oil’ or ‘armor oil’,” Drifter replied with a casual smirk at the end.
 
The clone Street Judge took another sip of his drink while he glanced back at Iwa.
Fri, Oct 4th 2024 10:51

*I sigh heavily and then shrug my shoulders in acceptance* "All cards on the table then." I quickly fill him in on the art objects we were asked to find, the reason why we are willing to do this favor (I really do want that armor fully functioning!), the information we pulled from the microchip about the clandestine meeting for the buyer, the rumors we have gathered from here and there about where various interested parties are, the weirdness with the attacks on the street judges, and the struggles with getting Dizzy to try on anything that doesn't have at least 10% armor.   I give him time to mull over all of that and turn to Dizzy, "Dearest Dizzy, you do have some fashion sense. I just wish we could find a better color scheme that made you happy and your groom would find devasting in the most romantice way possible."
Drifter nodded at times through the story, then sat back when it was done.
 
“Seems we’re both after Irrit Deeneru, but for different reasons. The auction brings a lot of bad people together in one place. But this meeting at the cantina or the Java Jumppoint seems like a perfect shot.”
 
The judge picked up his drink for another sip.
 
“Here’s what I propose. I want that hidden chip that contains the missing Street Judge gear, and I would love to get a hint as to what Judge has turned traitor or is an impostor. But the chip is way more important. If you two head to that meet at the Java Jumppoint, I’ll linger out of sight as a backup and a spotter.”
 
Drifter gestured at the damaged cantina.
 
“Given all this? It wouldn’t surprise me if the other buyers are on the lookout for a way to get that relic with the old ‘two finger discount’. If I spot anyone looking to make a move while you two are at the Java Jumppoint to defuse, or even swipe this relic, I can keep extra problems from jumping in. If you get into trouble, I’ll come in as Judge and lend a hand.”
 
He paused to give Dizzy a wry look.
 
“Yes, I’m a Street Judge and I said ‘swipe this relic’ with my own mouth.”
 
The Judge took another sip of his drink, before he shrugged at both of them.
 
“So, what do you say?” Then he added with a glance to Dizzy. “Oh, as for fashion, you really might want to have a long talk with Garak. The man’s a space wizard with materials. You know that slick, flowing cape that Razak has to wear to formal whatever? Did you know it’s armor plated? Looks like silk and all but it can repel heavy blaster fire like a beast. Supposedly even has hidden pockets. Garak made that.”
Sun, Nov 10th 2024 07:01

I do not sigh so much as I let my shoulders square up a bit under the Weight of Responsible Action.
"Right, fine. We insert ourselves into the meet at Java Jumppoint. We rescue Irrit Deeneru, retrieval specialist, from the insidious trap set up for her by opportunistic lounge lizard types, because Bipedal Estrogen Solidarity or whatever. Along the way we probably fight, in front of surviving witnesses, a frakking Hutt. Or hopefully 'just' her current designated representative. Maybe we can plant evidence that the ex-Moff set us up for that, maybe not. Doesn't matter. You 'arrest' whoever skitters out of the meet during our chaos. Along the way, we Eminent Domain any objects we find smaller than a Marauder exoskeleton."
I push away my nearly empty plate as I finish, "Subsequently, especially when I'm proven right about who is blackmailing your mole, we take action to solve that too. We paint up the ex-Moff in neon green, dress him the rest of the way in a clownsuit, and use him for a windsock, that's going to send the right message all around the port! Yellow would only demote him to 'commander'. I'd drop him to Troop only I don't think he would understand blank white to be as offensive as it's supposed to be."
Pointing a finger at my sibling, I finish, "And in return, you get all the clerks you suspect of being moles to spend whatever is left of this afternoon in sorting out some halfway decent quarters for the two of us, on the cheap. We were not expecting to have to stay this far away from the spaceport hostel. I'd say you can put us up in your spare bedroom, only I know you ain't got one."
Drifter raised an eyebrow at his clone sibling.
 
“Almost. Except forget the Hutt part. Rogga is way to into being above it all to show up in person. That, and as I understand it, she’s afraid some family member of hers is out to kill her, because she tried to off him first and failed. Some Hutt named Derma.”
 
He waved a hand in the air at that.
 
“But that’s stupid Hutt drama elsewhere, not here. So, you’ll probably have her rep and their guards to beat down. I know you can handle that with one eye closed.” Drifter squinted at Dizzy. “Because unlike some of our other brothers and sisters, I know how sharp you really are… even if you try and hide it.”
 
He sighed.
 
“Anyway, it’s also why I’m sure you’re right about the mole, too. So, yeah, I’ll be right outside to catch whatever skitters out and give you both cover fire. As for that ex-Moff? I’m betting one of those hired help he sent will be way too eager to cover their own shebs and give us something on him. Then we hang the Moff out like a clown windsock.”
 
Drifter downed the last of his drink.
 
“Now, no, I don’t have a spare bedroom. But,” he grinned, “how does a recently confiscated merchant summer house turned safe house sound? Just been scrubbed for bugs and such. If you’re up for it, I can get the clerks I think are moles busy on that this afternoon. Deal?”
Tue, Dec 31st 2024 12:46

Bed - the glorious thought of being horizontal for a while.   BUT FIRST   Drama, adventure, having to go back to see Garak. The life of a matron of honor is not an easy one, but I really do want Dizzy to be married in a lovely ceremony AND get my armor too. That shouldn't be too much to ask of the universe. Hutts, Moffs, and moles oh my!   I nod my acceptance of the deal the siblings have devised and look around to see if anyone else appears interested in our conversation. We have been talking for a while and not all of it has been light-hearted, but I think we have had enough laughs to appear as either old friends/family - especially if they can see the resemblance between Dizzy and Drifter or maybe new best friends after that fight.   I start a quick check of weapons and ammo - not that I am anticipating trouble, but I am on a girls trip with Dizzy.  
Sun, Jan 12th 2025 12:56

You glance around the cantina but the dust, such as it was, had settled. Maintenance droids had started their tireless work at repairing the cantina. Patch marks you missed before suggested this wasn’t at all the first time for repair work.
 
Muscle memory and training take over and you quickly take stock of your supplies. Snacks, bacta spray are all fine. A quick count of your ammo turns up more than you’d need to deal out a ‘lesson’ or four.
 
Now, no one seems to be looking, or listening, to the conversation. But you know all too well that appearances can be deceiving.
 
… or in some cases, missing?
 
Where did the Pyke enforcers go? You just can’t turn your back on those fish-guys, can you?
Mon, Jan 20th 2025 09:20

Iwa obviously has the post-berzerk sleepies. Food has to help, but I wish I had a place where I could stash the two of us for an hour's nap.
Oh well, first there's this nonsense.
 
I stroll over to one of the maintenance droids and tap it politely on the chassis.
"We're going to get ambushed when we step outside," I explain; "me and her and the Judge. I'd like to pull the ambush a little further away from this building. Could you dim down the exterior lights until they go nearly dark, for as much as this time of day ever gets 'dark' anyway. Count off forty standard seconds. And then flash them at max brightness, coruscating through all wavelengths, for another twenty? And then off again until evening business hours."
 
I don't know that this will bring my bucket's MFTAS into play, but it should sure make any observers see spots.
Mon, Jan 20th 2025 10:23

The squat maintenance droid chirps a short, cheerful, complex reply then bobs its cylindrical body to ‘nod’ back at Dizzy. Without her helmet, the exact translation escapes her but given the tone is opposite of what Charkarr says to Dizzy 90% of the time, it’s obviously droid for “you got it!” with maybe even a smiling emoji.
 
It wheels over to a data panel, then swivels it’s octagonal dome head to aim it’s single visual receptor at Dizzy. The best it can do to indicate the plan is a go on her mark. Two other maintenance droids take up a spot at two other data panels to help.
Mon, Jan 20th 2025 11:37

I take in Dizzy's conversation with the droid and see that they are in position. I groan and grumble to myself about the fact that shopping for a wedding dress and favors should not be a battlefield since there is no mother-in-law around. I also make a mental note to have Charkarr provide me a list of the visual stimuli for the race of the groom - maybe there is a color choice that would look differently to them under direct sunlight that won't make Dizzy look like a clown in armor. Might need to ask if she has set a time for the wedding. Maybe I need to worry about dawn or dusk or nighttime. I have an uneasy feeling that Garak will warrant another visit after this to see if there is something that will make her happy with armor plating, but will still have a bit of flare to make the bride the center of attention.   I pull my mind back to the business at hand as we are apparently about to walk out the front door - no back doors for clonetroopers or street judges. As I am taller, I wait to fall in behind them so I can fire over their head if anyone is crazy enough (or able to see) to shoot towards our location. I contemplate doing a tuck and roll to get behind the thugs, but Dizzy's plan should make that unnecessary. This should be a simple walk out, shoot a few kneecaps, and keep on our merry way to the Java Jumppoint - sans followers.
Fri, Jan 31st 2025 11:38

A silent, short conversation settled between the three before Dizzy, Drifter, and Iwa gathered their gear to leave. One last wave to the cantina owner, then a nod from Dizzy to the maintenance droids, the trio headed for the front door.
 
Two steps before they reached the front sensor, the maintenance droids chittered at each other. A two second conversation of long dialog meant only for droids. Consoles from the other side of the cantina chimed in tiny tunes of unison seconds before the front door snapped open with a hiss.
 
Dizzy and Drifter walked out first, Iwa a step behind. Outside the cantina, everything had gone off according to plan. At least, they seemed to have.
 
Across the narrow street, between the Cushnip Needy Noodle and the Dark Lord of the Spit food carts, a Pyke Enforcer sat crouched on the ground. Heavy pistol drawn, the Pyke was snarling, rubbing at his eyes as if flash blinded.
 
To the left of the door, four more Pyke Enforcers had been hiding in wait behind a stack of crates, blasters ready. None of them had been prepared for the light show that also blinded them.
 
Other than the Pyke enforcers, the human, Durosian, and Twi’lek locals that wandered by were alarmed, but didn’t seem to be bothered at all. Maybe the timing hadn’t been right, or the maintenance droids had the foresight to target the Pyke visual spectrum
 
Either way, the Pykes were dazed if only for a second.
Sat, Mar 15th 2025 07:23

I see the Pyke Enforcer across the street between the Dark Lord of the Spit and the Cushnip Needy Noodle and I draw out my hunting knife, sight along my extended arm, flex my arm, and throw the knife to hit the stack of condiments that is directly over his head.
Sun, Mar 16th 2025 07:57

"Line up or bunch up, kids!" I crow in my best Shockboxing Fandom Celebration tone. Whether my voice covers up the sound of my Deece powering up to Overpowered Blaster Rifle Stun, or blends with it, does not matter. I keep striding mostly forward, very slightly angled to my own right, so I won't get into a partial flank position between the food cart endangerer and the crates quartet.
Mentally I lock blaster aim at the food cart endangerer. I'm about to shoot him, oh, two to seven times. Depending on how fast he crawls back to the shelter of his innocent food cart hostages. Or how fast Iwa, who will get to him before me, rips one of his ankles off.
But my first actual offensive action, not counting the intimidation check inherent to being a happy fan of shockboxing who is walking out of a cantina, is to crack an ion flare with my left hand.
Which I chuck to land just behind the center of the quartet.
 

 
I did advise them to either line up or bunch up.
They did not follow my advice.
 
Mon, Mar 17th 2025 12:59

Iwa’s knife speared the condiments. A flavorful waterfall of thick fluids cascaded over the enforcer’s face, basting him like a fresh ronto roast.
 
The enforcer between the food carts shouted in mustard and ketchup as Dizzy’s rifle belched in rapid succession. Seven shots gleefully chased the based enforced back between the carts. The first four did the job, but the last three helped for good measure. A second later, Dizzy chucked the live ion flare behind the quartet at the crates.
 
Behind the crates, the four enforcers yowled in surprise when the ion flare erupted behind them. They jerked away from the flare as the black armored Street Judge of Drifter stalked out on the other side of Iwa, pistols drawn. Four blaster shots closed the gap between himself and the four distracted Pyke enforcers. The enforcers dodged a little too late.
 
Everyone lit up by stun bolts dropped like so many bad habits.
 
Drifter’s helmet seemed to scowl at the stunned Pykes. The enforcers appeared either stunned or a newfound interest in the local pavement they wanted to study, up close.
 
Drifter gestured to the food carts then waved for the two ladies to join him.
 
“Frak, that was fun,” Drifter said, then made a gesture at the food carts. “If either of you are hungry, order up something to go. I’ll put it on the Order of Solicitor’s tab. Either way, follow me.”
 
He gave Iwa and Dizzy a nod, obviously avoiding mention of the safe house. Obviously because any mention of it would make a lie out of the name.