Session 20: Gnome one's Home (listen, I'm doing my best here, but I didn't have a lot to work with pun or reference wise)
General Summary
With our goods gathered, we ride back to Valimar. Owkbanok’s been spending the day lounging on deck with a nice bottle of rum. With how he spent the past week training our new crew, the man deserves a break. We get the drugs and alcohol we acquired packed away on the ship, having to scold Tonari on the way as he tries to sneak off with some of the opium. Afterwards, Amelia heads out with TT to get her new magical crop top, I spoil Cayde with a new collar that’ll eventually make him smarter than some of us, and Owkbanok spends the rest of his day treating himself with fancy things.
When we catch up with one another, we make the unfortunate mistake of talking about my flesh map in public, making everyone within a mile radius very uncomfortable. It’s only worsened when I loudly announce to everyone that I won’t do that to them…but hey, y'all know about any treasure? Immediately people throw gold at me to secure their safety and to shoo us off, so we go back to the ship and go over the map once more. With TT’s help, we find the “perfect” path to the treasure. There’s three routes we could take. The main road which is direct and to the point, but also incredibly boring so that’s a no from us. A middle path that winds through an unfamiliar forest which may lead to some great camping moments or a convoluted path that’ll take much longer but help us skip anywhere law enforcement might be.
Of course, TT wants the convoluted path, but convinces us all that we’re right in our decision to go on the middle path. While the others grab Inami and fill her in, I go to get my daily harassment of Stabby out of the way and on the way out, get my fill of harassing Nathan as well. Our trip has a great start with Amelia and Owkbanok getting into a physical altercation (that’s just foreplay for this group, no worries) and once the lovebirds have settled their quarrel, TT leads us into the forest. All to keep up the rouse and throw us off of her master plan to drag us down the third path, of course. We step into the forest and are treated to some zombie mayhem, except these aren’t ordinary zombies. They’re created by a fungus somewhere deep within the forest and as such, Amelia has no control over them.
Nothing to worry about as we cut them down fairly easily, but the thought of camping out and running into more of them isn’t a very appealing one. We manage to find the plant causing the mayhem in the first place and in a surprising change of events, we decide to promptly ignore it and be on our way. A small cabin sits before us now and after Cayde scouts it out and returns to alert us to somebody’s presence, TT decides we should rob the place. But the minute we reach the door and make conversation with the anti-social gnome inside, we realize there’s nothing of value in here. We have him lead us out of the forest, bid him farewell, and camp out beside the pond he speaks fondly of fishing at.
With my magic, I can have me and Cayde keep watch over the camp without needing sleep and when I tell everyone, they immediately set up for bed to escape the same fate. All except Amelia, so I spare her from my bullshit as I rush into Owkbanok and Inami’s tents to slap them both and cast the same spell on them. The spell fails, but my efforts to wake them up does not and neither of them are able to catch me and kick my ass for it. A few hours after everyone settles in, a carriage rides up with two tired drivers and even more exhausted horses. The humans are Thomas and Jim and their nervous mannerisms tell me something’s wrong with these two, but as they ask to rest here for a short while, I let them.
In thanks, they give me a single pearl and it’s then I realize we have another treasure to take off with on Valimar. I don’t alert the others to their presence yet, letting them ride off safely as I’ll have no problems following their tracks come morning. But not even an hour later, the guards that were on their tail arrive and accuse us all of being the jewel thieves. We try and explain our way through it, but the minute they pat me down and find the pearl, all bets are off. We kill the guards, but not before one of them lights off a flare to signal to the others that shit went bad for them. We don’t have much time now, so we quickly loot them, tear down our camp, and make a break for it.
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