Session 12: The Law of Equivelent Exchange
General Summary
So as everybody does a little shopping and day drinking after turning in our dinosaur to our sugar daddy, I go off to pull a scam on some poor, unsuspecting fool. Somebody who looks downtrodden in a financial sense is obviously not a great victim, so I go after the emotionally poor looking man standing over a tombstone in the cemetery. Side note, the DM warned me about this being a moral dilemma, but there’s no room for morals here, children. I take some flowers from a different grave to place them on this other grave and when this dude’s suspicious of me, I tell him I’m from the church.
This works cuz thankfully his departed mother was a religious woman and he doesn’t bother to question anything I say here, not even when I start shilling some product to him. I weave a tale about how the magical rod I got as well as the formerly cursed diamond are actually powerful, religious artifacts from an elven cleric and when he asks why they’re not in the church then, I tell him that our kindly church thinks these artifacts would be better in the hands of the people. He eats this shit up and after naming my price, he goes home to fetch the coin, and when he meets up to do the deal; I get to walk away with a hefty coin purse and he walks away with items that are virtually worthless to him and a false blessing.
Meanwhile, Owkbanok is at the bar and checking out the notice board, perusing for jobs and apparently whores as he pockets a notice that calls some girl named Carrie out for being a lying slutbucket. Carrie should join our crew then cuz that could sum up a vast majority of us! But another notice catches his interest. A noble girl who’s been missing for five years and is tied to a heavy crime; the murder of her father who’s a king in the nearby town of Carlo Rossi. It goes on to describe her appearance as blue eyes, blonde hair, you know; typical noble. The reward to finding her isn’t much compared to what we just made, but a job’s a job. Owkbanok finds out from the bartender that should someone find her and prove she was involved with the murder, the reward would be much higher. So once we all arrive, he fills us in on this and Amelia is very hesitant to accept this job, which is pretty suspicious. We get word that Eustace might know more, so we head back to question him. But of course, things don’t go according to plan cuz a rival gang of pirates has decided to attack Jacksonville, so we grab Eustace and head on down to defend our territory.
The place is even more of a mess than it already was when we arrive. These pirates have killed much of our guards and some of the civilians, so TT suggests we go after their captain first so they surrender. Owkbanok and Amelia decide to deal with the pirates in the streets though while me and TT move forward with the plan to attack the captain directly. Things in the streets don’t go so well at first because while Amelia manages to blind some of the other pirates with some magic, she also successfully blinds herself in the process. The one skeleton she manages to raise from the dead immediately gets its ass kicked, but with Owkbanok cutting through these pirates, the skeleton gets to live another day. With a final diamond spray from Amelia, the other pirates flee and poor Owkbanok is hit with it too as she’s still blind, but he’s not too mad about it. She properly names the skeleton as he will literally live forever now and she decides to name him Romero, not realizing that hey, that’s my last name.
Meanwhile, the raid on the ship me and TT are doing goes off surprisingly well at first, but all good things must come to an end. With arrows and bolts being rained upon me, I go into raven form to find a safer perch which leaves all our enemies baffled. TT and Cayde try to fight off some of the people on deck while I take care of what later turns out to be a very awkward alchemist. In an effort to probably look cool, TT ends up slipping off the edge of the boat and smacks right into the deck, getting smacked around by one guy in particular. She tries to go for a low blow and fucks up terribly, her dagger getting snagged on his pants and pulling them right down. TT, which if you haven’t been reading these, stands for Twenty-Two…but now it stands for Terribly-Traumatized as she gets a face full of dirty dick and leaves this man beyond embarrassed by the current situation. After some more back and forth between all of us, the alchemist tosses a bomb out onto the deck, promptly setting Cayde and TT ablaze. My poor leopard says “fuck this” internally and jumps into the ocean and with us failing to get the upper-hand, things finally die down as TT convinces them to try and make a deal with us.
But instead of this deal, we head back to our ship with the alchemist and once everybody’s reunited, we decide to welcome him to our crew via kidnapping (don’t worry, it was consensual. he agreed to this after some “convincing”) and we learn his name is Nathan. So now we have an alchemist we desperately need and with the other pirates retreating cuz things didn’t go exactly as planned for them either, we decide to camp out in Jacksonville to figure out where to go from here. We pour some money into the town to get better security as well as improve the docks to kickstart the Jacksonville renovation. We make a space on the ship for Amelia’s zombies, as well as animal cages so we can start selling live animals which means we now need an animal caretaker. I have TT’s parrot deliver a letter to my sister to join our crew to help us with that and since we have a few days to kill while we wait for Zoey to arrive, we decide it’s time to start looking for the missing noble. We question Eustace about that and he tells us there were signs of necromancy at the scene of the crime and then gives us a list of people vying for power of Carlo Rossi so we can go and interrogate them to make sure they weren’t involved.
Amelia is still against going after Elizabeth, the noble girl, and when we tell her to take some time to think about it; she decides to steal away in the night on our enemies ship without telling anyone. Come morning, we all assume she’s busy with some friends, if you catch my drift; but as the hours clock by and we still haven’t seen her, we set out to look for her. With Cayde leading us to where the rival ship used to be, we realize Amelia’s gone and I start thinking that she might be more personally involved with this case. After all, I help her dye her hair and have seen the blonde roots coming in. Maybe she’s a relative of Elizabeth? But Owkbanok pieces together the rest and realizes that Amelia most likely is the missing princess and we all have a collective and loud “oh shit” moment. We have no idea what we’re going to do with Amelia now, but first things first, we have to actually find her now that she’s run off. After some convincing, our captain agrees that we should chase her down and so the hunt for Amelia begins.
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