Are you a morning person, or more of a night owl?
Oh, why, I may officially be a lady of the night, but really I’m quite delighted to entertain at any time of the day.
What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?
Which bit do they look at first? It’s helpful to know someone’s preferred interests from the beginning.
You see a huge spider in your room, what do you do?
Why, I suppose I shall have to find someone to come in and remove it for me. I couldn’t possibly get dressed while an unpaying creature was watching.
If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?
Oh, I’d definitely eat more of that brownie at the Company Ball that one time. It might well have popped open the corset, but on reflection I’m sure many of the gentlemen present would have been receptive to a little unintended extra advertising.Tell me about your first kiss.
First kiss where? I can tell you the story for just about anywhere you care to single out - but not usually for free.
Do you give people second chances?
Oh, if they ask very nicely.
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
I have thought about getting a little kitty before, but of course you know some of my many friends might be allergic.
Do you think you’re attractive?
I’m sure I couldn’t possibly comment. Why, do you?
What’s your worst habit?
Well. What a deeply scandalous question to ask a lady.
When was the last time you cried?
Last night, but I shan’t tell you what or how loud.
Are you a good liar?
Hush now. I’m sure a proper lady wouldn’t tell.
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Well, between you and me I actually can’t stand snoring - but don’t worry; I always have some very good earplugs with me, just in case.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Every time we say goodbye, my darling.
Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?
Oh, I have far too much decorum to get into an argument, unless you’re into that, in which case I can use whatever you like.
What’s something you’re naturally good at?
My dear mother did say I was always a precocious flirt.
What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?
Would you like me to show you? It’s much more fun that way.
Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
Oh, darling.
Do you think money can buy happiness?
It can from me, I assure you.
Do you believe in destiny?
I prefer to think we have the freedom to make our own choices, and our own mistakes.
Are you a good cook?
I know eight hundred recipes from across thirteen cultures, by heart, and I promise to execute any of them flawlessly.
What do you think happens after you die?
I’ve read a great many ideas about the Garden Beyond Salsabil. Do you know some texts say there are native constructs of light called Houri that provide flawless service to all in the Garden in whatever they ask for? Alas, for now the closest you can get is the same service from a flesh-and-blood woman for a reasonable price, although I do do my best to live up to a divine standard.
Did you have to grow up fast?
Oh no, not at all. As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’ve had time to master a great many arts - although, of course, a proper lady never tells her age.
Who do you look up to?
Ah, the one downside of being at the top of one’s field is that it leaves no-one to look up to - except, of course, for anyone I happen to be underneath at the time.
When you go to a tavern, what do you order?
I usually prefer others to buy my drinks for me, but if it is up to me I’ll go for spiced lapsang souchong in the mornings, sweet white wine during the day, or a tall Light in Prism in the evenings.
What do you like most about yourself?
Why, what an impossible question, to ask for a best feature from a lady with this set of features! I suppose if I must pick a standout asset I can narrow it down to two very big ones.
What do you like least about yourself?
Oh, I’ve always needed help with - what did you say you did, again?
Do you want kids someday?
Oh, dear, no, I take plenty of precautions against that. I’m not that kind of girl.
Are you a planner or more spontaneous?
I believe I’ve mastered both, and I like to switch it up.
Can you keep a secret?
A proper lady would never kiss and tell.
Do you like being the centre of attention?
Would I wear this corset if I didn’t?
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
Oh, I’d probably waive my usual prices, but please don’t take that as an incentive to poison me; you would be breaking just so many hearts.
Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
Oh, I make sure every occasion with me is special, and of course I dress up for all of them.
Where do you feel safe?
Well, between you and me my house has one little dressing room no-one else ever gets into. A girl must keep something for herself you know.
Do you love or hate being alone?
Why, it’s quite dreadful - I promise if you pay for any amount of time with me I shall make my gratitude quite clear.
What’s the last nightmare you remember having?
I’m afraid that’s the sort of personal question you’d need to pay for.
Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?
Only the fun ones.
Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?
Oh, I promise I’m a good girl, but I think my path has rather diverged from that possibility already...
How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic or super whiney?
Why, it’s just the pits, isn’t it? Fortunately I take many precautions.
What did your parents expect from you when you were born?
I prefer not to talk about such things. A girl must have some secrets.
Do you have a strong sense of style?
Oh, come now.
Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?
I’m not a very outdoorsy gal, so that one would cost extra.
Is there a food that most people like but you absolutely hate?
A true gourmand can appreciate anything she tries - and I’ve tried a lot.
Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?
I do like to keep things neat and tasteful.
Are you superstitious?
Oh, I don’t have much concern for such things, but I can tell a quite chilling ghost story or several.
Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pet’s names and stuff?
But of course.
What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?
What or who, mm?
Is it hard for you to trust someone?
Never, for the right price.
Are you susceptible to peer pressure?
You would have to press quite hard; I’m bouncy.
If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?
Oh dear, once I’m too old and frail for my current profession, you mean? I suppose I’ll just have to become one of the more public sorts of artist.
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Beautiful, wealthy and loved, as I’m sure any little girl dreams of.
