The Knight of Cups

Tales of The Black Tower Barista

---

Morning Brew

It starts like any other morning, really, a little way's past the middle of the night. Fluff begins his rounds in the kitchen, feeding the starter, preparing the dough, chopping the fruit, sorting out the extra ingredients; powdered sugar, nuts, the previously mentioned fruit, and so on. Frequently dusting and re-dusting his arms as he does so. He hums to himself as he kneads, a song he and Shen had known since childhood, taking care to not be too loud but knowing he'd be down there within the hour. He's so sure of this he's already set aside a cinnamon roll with a honey drizzle fresh out the oven, Shen's favorite.

As expected, Shen follows suit not too long after. With gratitude and his morning dessert in hand he begins damn near militantly cleaning and brushing the floor, the ovens, the tables, and anywhere Fluff had been in the past 10 minutes; likely annoying for anyone else, but his own form of meditation. In the downtime he'd be making the morning deliveries, but Coffee was the only one of the four who really knew how to package the goods. Alternatively he'd be making the two of them coffee, but Bean was the only one who really knew how to brew something drinkable. The two resort to relaxing by the fireplace, though Fluff takes care to not accidentally bake himself like he did last winter.

But Coffee always wakes up eventually, and luckily for them it's usually before the sun even peaks above the horizon; no doubt to the scent of pastries and fresh bread wafting up the tower. She's groggy as she shuffles down the stairs, her tail dragging behind and thudding against the hardwood steps one by one, but she's swift and efficient at organizing all the baked goods that had finished so far. Making sure the shelves are stocked and pretty and the goods intended for early morning delivery are neatly wrapped with love and care. Joining Shen in the deliveries is the only thing that would keep her awake afterwards.

Bean is always last, sometimes even minutes before the morning rush. Deeply ironic for someone of his affinity but not very surprising for those who've known him for more than 10 seconds. He's hyperactive the moment he enters the kitchen, already helping himself to the pastries Fluff set aside with waggling fingers and a sly "Don't mind if I do~". An absolute menace he is, but a welcome one. After all, his awakening actually means peace for the rest of them, if you can believe it; means they get to have a shot of that special brew of his. A lifeline for the busier days.

---

We Brew a Little Trolling

It was a Troll, that much was certain, but whether or not they should make a run for it was still a subject of fierce debate.

"I cannot believe you talked me into this shit." Bean scoffed, kicking a few stray pebbles and watching them tumble across the cave floor.

"It was hardly 'talking you into it', more like you following me into the woods at the mere mention of something interesting."

---

It hadn't even gotten to midday when Shen returned to The Black Tower Barista earlier than expected, as far as Coffee and Bean knew he had taken up a hunting quest and would be gone until late in the evening if everything went well. It was rare for him to go on quests in general, being retired and all that, so it was clear to everyone that this job must've been serious business.

Shen interjected before they could even ask, making his way to the storage to retrieve some equipment as he did so, "The folks over at Odds n' Ends said they noticed some adventurers going missing, was going to chalk it up to kobolds or bandits, but the little one stumbled on their abandoned campsite with signs of something much more dangerous."

Coffee recoiled at the last bit, worry plastered over her face, "Oh dear, and they asked for your help? Did they find whatever they were lookin for? A-are they alright?"

A pause followed as Shen inspected his blade, peering over its edge and running his fingers along the inscribed runes that rippled like freshly disturbed water. Deciding it was good enough, he sheathed it and slung it over his shoulder before addressing the two again on his way out.

"I'm the one who offered, business has been slow for them lately and we frankly don't have time to wait and hope a qualified group waltzes into town any time soon. It wasn't hard to find where it was hiding, anyway, it's a troll."

The two baristas gasped, Coffee at a loss for words and Bean letting out an immediate "Holy shit" as per usual.

"Since I'm here anyway. Bean, I got a good look at the troll before coming back, I think you'd get a kick out of seeing it." Shen didn't wait for a response, and the door closed behind him not even a second after the last word.

---

"Okay, wise guy, we can sit 'ere arguin semantics-"

"Pedantics."

"-arguin pedantics all you want, doesn't change that we're stuck 'ere now."

"Well I was right, wasn't I?"

Bean sighed. He was. And he hated that he was. The realization that their target was a Troll that looked like that would probably be the funniest thing he'd experience that week; so funny to him, in fact, that it was still funny even after being trapped in that same troll's cave surrounded by the corpses of the missing adventurers. Or at least they might've been the missing adventurers, it was mostly their equipment, and any similarities the bodies had to anything humanoid was, at that point, purely coincidental.

"Is it still there?"

"Oh gee I don't know why don't I just ask the fuggin guy huh?" Bean was never one to understand what an inside voice was, and never one to ignore an opportunity to be overly sarcastic, making a show of turning his head round the corner before yelling out, "Hey you still there big guy!?!"

"Yep!" replied a voice, faint at first but echoing inside the cave soon after, thick in accent and somewhat muffled as if it had been in the middle of eating.

"D'you believe this guy, Shen? The fuckin nerve, the chutzpah I tell ya. Bro is sittin out there criss cross applesawce absolutely MUNCHIN on some guy's arm like a fuggin breadstick over there. He's CHILLIN'. Damn. Watch, watch he's gonna threaten us again I can see him lookin up from his lunch-"

"Y'know, fellas! I reckon I could use that funny lit'le bowl heada' yers as a bedpan!!! Thoughts on that???"

"What the f- is'he talkin about me?"

"I'm not even going to acknowledge that you felt the need to ask."

"Oh wait y'know what actually I do have thoughts on that hold on-" Bean turned the corner again, "-that a threat for before or after you kill us? I'm assumin after, right?"

An agonizing pause followed.

"Y'know it WAS for afta' but you've raised a rather captivating point so I sup'ose I must-"

"Shen we gotta get the hell outta 'ere NOW"

---

By all accounts, the way they got trapped in the cave was so excruciatingly embarrassing they probably deserved to join those adventurers. Gods know how much they wanted to in the moment.

It was actually quite a ways into the woods, about an hour long trek if they were to guess, and the cave that Shen finally stopped near seemed pretty unassuming. Surely the troll must've been sleeping somewhere inside, they thought. Surely this would be as easy as going in and getting the jump on it before it even knew what was going on, they thought. Surely the troll wasn't waiting just outside the entrance for the explicit purpose of letting them go inside and then sitting right smack in the middle of the cave's only entrance and exit, they thought.

At least it was funny, if nothing else.

"So my eyes ain't decievin me right? That guy looks like he's made a' cawffee."

"Told you you were going to get a kick out of it."

It was almost too good to be true. Too on brand. The troll had all the usual symptoms: size, a hunched back, tusks, freakishly large arms and freakishly stubby legs, that all was normal. Though they probably would've mistook it for some kind of shark troll if it weren't for the large channel running through the top of its head, revealing it to be some kind of big ass coffee bean laid flat on the troll's shoulders, that and the overpowering smell of burnt dark roast. Its mane of steam and coarse coffee grounds was the only thing breaking up its silhouette (which was otherwise just a big rectangle blocking out the light from the entrance), and it extended down its arms like tree roots finding and burrowing its way into rock and stone.

The metallic scrape was what alerted them to the troll in the first place, revealing itself to be the armor of some adventurer once their eyes adjusted to the change in light. Or at least what was left of them, dragged in by the chestplate and set aside as the troll sat down in the entrance as if to taunt them.

---

"I-i-it's so over man! We're done! Finished! Cooked!"

"Why's that?"

"Well shit, man, I don't know lemme think. Oh yeah! We're stuck in a troll cave complete with the troll and we don't even have a way to BEAT the-"

"Bean."

"-'cause like in order to beat a troll you need that somethin somethin to do the thing to stop it from healin-"

"Bean."

"-but its a CAWFFEE troll and cawffee is like a plant or some shit I don't know I've only ever seen it in bean mode but that means the somethin somethin we need is fire and we don't HAVE any fire dude we're so fuc-"

"BEAN."

"..."

Shen, after taking a moment to appreciate the fresh silence, took in a breath. "What do you need in order to make coffee."

"...love...?"

"Okay, that's precious of you, but actually."

"Cawffee beans?"

"By themselves? Right out the box?"

"The hell you talkin about obviously you gotta roast em first and then you gotta get some hot water and start pouring but only a little bit at first cause you gotta let it bloom a lil' then you-"

Shen wordlessly pointed the hilt of his blade to the corpse closest to them.

Surprisingly, with a closer look it was actually pretty obvious they weren't stabbed or dismembered or anything like that. No, the few areas of exposed flesh were horribly, and recently, scarred as if the poor guy was burned to death. Or rather, they were blasted with a metric shit-ton of scalding hot water. This was, if you can believe it, a spark of hope. For it meant that this troll turned out to be weak to everything.

"Oh. Okay. So you knew this the entire time when you coulda-"

"I implore you to consider that the troll can hear us."

"-ah shit, you might be right hold on-" Bean turned the corner yet again, "-ay can you hear us?"

"Yep!"

Bean turned to Shen, dusting off his apron and only mimicking the cracking of knuckles on account of his limbs being made of glassware. The coffee swirling around inside him now visibly bubbling.

"So we'll just wing it?"

"As always." Shen said with the ghost of a smile as he stepped around the corner, one hand on the sheath of his blade and the other resting firmly around the hilt.

It didn't matter how long he'd been retired from the demon hunting life, Shen remained just as capable as he always was. The speed at which he went from walking, to crouched, to suddenly sprinting towards their foe would've been hard to anticipate even for someone fully expecting it. The fluidity of drawing his sword, slicing runes into the air in front of him as he did so, mirroring the Watershaping he had long since trained to perfection. The trailing water behind him like calligraphy.

Shape of Water: Constant Flux. A raging vortex now poured from the runes along his blade; he was never one to save his strongest moves for last.

The troll tanked the cuts and slashes and, as expected, healed almost instantaneously. But it staggered back once the waves had come crashing down. Not a second passed before the troll gave off a burst of light, blue in color, and nearly collapsed. Shen slid to a stop in front of it, blade sheathed once more.

Bean made a show of jogging close behind, despite moving slower than walking pace, and stopped in front of the two.

"Well looky here! I'd say the turns here have tabled pretty fuggin quick ay big guy? AH SHI-" was all he managed to get out before the troll punched him directly in what would've been his sternum. The sound of shattering glass followed as he tumbled across the ground.

Shen closed his eyes as if in preparation.

"AAAAOH GOD OH FUCK MY ARM MY ARM IS GONE HOLY SHIT THE PAIN IS INDESCRIBABLE-" he whined, clutching his freshly shattered hand and throwing himself over the cave floor this way and that with the same panache of a theater kid acting out his death, before rolling his way to the now confused troll's side, "-is what I WOULD say if this actually meant anything."

There wasn't much the troll could do at that point, especially with Bean punching it with the business end of his shattered arm now dealing complimentary puncture damage. Shen drew his sword, raising it above his head and waiting patiently for Bean to finish his performance.

"I just want you to know, my man, that karma's a bitch," he said, hand on the troll's shoulder as if giving a pep talk, "I have every intention of drinkin ya after this."

---

The abandoned campsite wasn't too far from the cave, that alone was all the reason they needed to take a much needed break after whatever the hell just happened. The smell of coffee, albeit overpowering and unpleasantly burnt, soon wafting around them not long after once Bean had finally finished the mystery brew they collected from the troll. Both of them ignoring how he apparently knew how to start a fire.

Lamenting the fact that troll material doesn't keep for long without a proper way to store it, Bean delicately lifted the one cup they managed to get out of what was left by then. Shen nodded, signaling for Bean to take the first sip.

After a minute of hyping himself up, backing down, and hyping himself up again he finally dredged up the courage, valor, and no small amount of chutzpah, to take the sip. Silence followed, Bean's expression unreadable.

It was coffee, that much was certain, but whether or not it was drinkable was still a subject of fierce debate-

"Mm. Tastes like shit."

---

A Watched Dough Never Rises

"And you're absolutely sure you'll be alright on your own, hun?"

Coffee leaned against the stone archway leading into the kitchen, a worried look, albeit a poorly stifled one, over her face. Fluff paid no mind as he continued kneading dough, humming as he did so; not that he had much mind to spend in the first place. That was actually part of the problem, if you could believe it.

"Mmmmmmhm," he slowly hummed with a nod, as well as that big 'ol perpetual smile on his face, "...I'll just be here, kneading, and baking, and kneading, and glazing, and baking-"

"If you say so, hun, I'll be back as soon as I can!" she interrupted before he had a chance to zone out, which wasn't all too difficult given how slowly he tended to speak in the mornings. Honestly it was probably more akin to picking up a snail, turning it toward a different direction, a new goal if you will, and then watching it continue forward as if nothing had happened. He waved back and continued to knead.

Fluff was seldom left alone in the café for terribly long. One might assume it was because he wasn't particularly the brightest, (which was only correct to an extent) though it usually ceases to be an issue once he's baking; alternatively because he was just too damn chill, sometimes to the point where he'll forget he's lounging by the fire and end up half-baked on accident. But those mishaps they could deal with.

The real issue, the one that never fails to break Coffee's heart especially, was his very apparent separation anxiety. He'll deny it all he wants but the others knew firsthand he had quite a nasty case of it, even for a Knight. But today was one of those days, she had errands to take care of while Shen and Bean were gone, and to make matters worse she couldn't bring him along.

---

Fluff dusted his arms as he finished kneading this batch of dough. He was made of the stuff, you see, and the arms in particular had the tendency to become terribly sticky if left unhindered. Though, as one could probably imagine, the act of haphazardly covering oneself with flour in a room almost exclusively defined by having multiple different open flames was always a risky business.

The plan for today was Coffee's favorite, on account of today being her birthday and all that, Bread Puddin' Bowls. Step one was to prepare the dough, bread dough, which he had just finished. Step two was-

...Creak...

He jumped a bit at the sudden noise, but figured it was simply the house settling. Anyways, step two was-

Click-Clack

Step two was-

Clang!

He waited a moment, figuring the house might've been more uncomfortable than usual, before feigning the thought of what step 2 was.

...

That was more like it. Anyways, step-

HISS!

He whirled around towards the window, now realizing that something was sure to be out there. In fact, now that he was paying attention he could most definitely make out the sounds of rummaging outside, in the supply shed to be precise; sounds of clicking, chirping, and hissing intermixed between them. Something, or somethings from the sound of it, was out there. But Fluff was no coward. With a gesture resembling the rolling up of his sleeves he barged out the backdoor to give 'em what for.

"Oi! Wot's all this then?"

Two Kobolds, each coming up to about Bean's chest in height from the looks of it, stared back with unblinking eyes. One cocked it's head to the side while the other took a cautious step towards him, all the while they both kept clacking their distinctive claw against the wooden patio.

"Can...uh...can I help you...?"

The first Kobold, the one that had stepped closer, chirped in response; or at least he assumed it was in response, he did just ask them a question after all. The second, still locked in place, just licked its eye and continued to stare.

They didn't appear to be armed but, judging from the tattered cloths they both wore, even Fluff could reason that whatever den they came from was advanced enough for it to still be a possibility. What was strange, however, was the abundance of trinkets and charms adorning them; not because they had them, (Kobolds are particularly loot obsessed after all) but because they were all made from bones. Though Fluff didn't give it much thought after that, seemed to him like this wasn't going anywhere.

"Alright, buddy ol' pals, time for y'all to shoo-" he said, nonchalantly waving his arm as if sweeping them away, but recoiled when they both hissed in response. He stepped towards them, his waving now more deliberate, "-go on! Git!"

The Kobolds did indeed git, but not without their hissing protestations.

With the back door closed behind him, Fluff dusted his arms once more as he returned to the patiently waiting rolls of dough. Step 2 was- he paused and turned around, waiting for something to happen, before turning back satisfied when nothing did -to put the rolls in the oven.

Bread Puddin' Bowls was a simple enough dessert to make. Technically it was two different recipes mixed together for no other reason than their snug fit. The first was to make normal bread bowls, large ones, about the size of a full loaf, baked 'til just about done and allowed to cool before cutting the top off and scooping out the innards; the second was to chop the harvested bread, toast it, (the recipe calls for the bread to be stale but he was up against a wee bit of a ticking clock) and then make Bread Pudding for filling up the aforementioned bread bowls.

It was a delightfully uneventful and uninterrupted time between baking the bread, smelling the bread, taking out the bread, scooping the bread, chopping the bread, as well as toasting the bread. At this pace the surprise would absolutely be fresh out the oven by the time Coffee and the others had returned. All he needed to do now was to gather the ingredients for the puddi-

Scratch

"Oh, bother-" he sighed, already making his way to the backdoor, those Kobolds must've smelled the bread baking.

Only he didn't see the Kobolds outside, in fact, there wasn't much of anything or anyone outside except for what was supposed to be outside. He stepped out further, lest he be duped by the Kobolds hiding in any blind-spots near the door. Nothing. Alright then, back to the kitchen.

"Hhhh, okay, now where was I-"

He froze after closing the door and turning around, staring back at him were the Kobolds, now in the kitchen, and considerably less tense, less on-guard, and more ...chill? As if they now owned the place or something. With a heavy sigh, Fluff, now resigning himself to the situation, just returned to gathering ingredients.

They weren't nearly as disruptive as he first expected, what he thought would be an hour of fidgeting and shooing away turned out to be just a normal day of baking. Only now with two Kobolds just curiously wandering around the kitchen, inspecting the infrastructure, the implements, the instruments, the ingredients, and the bread. Though there were certainly moments, especially when they realized Fluff was quite literally edible, that required a stern warning.

The Bread Puddin' was by far the easiest bit of the process, just dumping all the ingredients into a bowl and mixing, as he would put it; in went the butter, eggs, irresponsible amounts of sugar and cinnamon and vanilla, and milk-

One of the Kobolds perked up at the sight of Fluff pouring the milk in, immediately scurrying to his side and reaching up with grabby hands. Now this was strange, even to Fluff, as far as he knew any and all reptiles of the sort had absolutely no need nor want for it...except for this one evidently.

"Uhm....alright then, lad." he muttered as he handed the little bit he had yet to pour in.

It inspected the milk, bringing the container to its companion to do the same, as if it was trying to confirm what it actually was. To Fluff's surprise and further confusion it even gagged (read: like a cat or something) as it took a whiff of the stuff, and now they were both smelling the air, no doubt searching for more. Honestly the whole situation was making him rather nervous and debating if he should shoo them off right about now.

His final verdict was decided however, when one of them, after the other evidently found the icebox, rushed back over to open the door and call out to something; the piercing, repetitive swirl of shrieking and barking continuously bashing into his head the overwhelmingly anxious feeling of "Okay I might've fucked up".

"A-alright...alright! Time for y'all t'leave!"

He made a move towards the Kobold by the door, but backed away with a flinch as it snapped at him. Fluff was by no means the fluffiest roll of the dozen (Smart), but he could certainly recognize through context clues such as the little guy's violent hissing, bared teeth, tense posture, as well as the knife it was now holding...that he might've been tricked. Fooled. Had, even. Duped, if you will. This was bad. The Kobolds played the long game and now he wouldn't even be able to finish the Bread Puddin'-

Ding!

With the sudden ringing of the bell above the front door, as well as the relieving, damn near angelic sound of Shen's "Hey Fluff we're back. Everything alrig- what the hell is that-", and of course the heavy footsteps rushing towards the kitchen door, Fluff let out a barely stifled "...oh thank god" with his hand held tenderly over his chest.

Shen rushed to his side, a protective arm held up and shielding him from the snapping Kobold, and the duo immediately got to work yelling threats. Just a big cacophony of "Scrams", "Gits", and "Skedaddles".

"Where're the others? There's always a pack." Shen half-yelled, a stern but reassuring edge to his voice.

Fluff immediately turned to the pantry, only to be met with the other Kobold lunging directly for his face, or at least it would've been had Shen not immediately caught and fanangled it into a headlock.

"Alright, out with you!" He said as he unceremoniously tossed it out the door.

From the window Fluff could see the group recollecting themselves...a group, four of them, with the two previously unaccounted for with large sacks from which he could no doubt hear the...clinking of glass bottles?

"You alright? Nothing broken?" he said that last bit with a smile creeping up his face and a teasing smack, or perhaps a wallop, upon Fluff's shoulder.

A wholesome laugh followed between them as Fluff resumed his Bread Puddin' and Shen began to make his rounds in the now disheveled kitchen. It hadn't been five minutes before Fluff heard a hearty laugh bellowing out of the pantry.

"I gotta say, getting robbed by Kobolds is a new one for you."

"I-in my defense I was tricked!"

"Fooled?"

"Had, even!"

"Duped, if you will?"

"...Yes that would be correct."

They shared a laugh once more, at least until Shen, holding an empty crate, walked out of the pantry a tad more confused than when he walked in.

"The hell do Kobolds need milk for?"

They both shrugged off the thought, after all, surely nothing would come of this.

---

The Knight of Cups

With the beans roasting, the syrups simmering in their saucepans, Fluff mixing dough in the kitchen, the dishes washed and the few tables strewn about the place thoroughly wiped down, Coffee continued restlessly tapping her fingers along the bar counter. It was certainly a quiet day today, the last patron having left about, say, half an hour ago. But in all honesty this was to be expected for a café at midday right smack in the middle of the week.

"Shen, dear, do you have the tim-"

"Noon. It was noon the last time you asked, it is still noon, and it will continue to be noon when you inevitably ask again five minutes from now," he interjected, not even looking up from his sweeping, "the lunch rush won't be here for another hour, you'll live."

She sighed, slumping against the counter.

"You could always do what managers do best and give yourself some work to do."

"Everything's already accounted for, I'm afraid, not really much else to do at the moment."

Shen's ears perked up, "Not even helping whoever's about to walk in?"

"Huh?-"

DING!

The ringing of the bell above the door cut off her confusion, followed by a cheerful humming and the heavy thuds of leather boots on hardwood.

"Why, hello there! I do hope this fine day has treated you well!"

The man, at least by the sound of their voice, that just entered was certainly a character by Littlekeep standards. A bit on the taller side, wearing simple travelling clothes underneath a thick, warm looking cloak and an irresponsibly large gauntlet, masked by a visor with its plume framing him in a great big mane almost half his height. Despite the appearance, or perhaps because of it, the warmth he gave off was palpable.

"Aw, right back 'atcha, darlin!" Coffee's eyes lit up at the stranger, her tail waving just a touch faster, "Welcome to The Black Tower Barista, can I getcha' anything?"

The Knight scratched his head, or helmet rather, while walking up to the counter; sharing a polite nod with Shen as he did so. "I trust that you can! But uh. Hm. I'm not quite sure what that 'anything' is at the moment. You see, this is my first time venturing into this town, er, Littlekeep, yes? Though I am familiar with this establishment so I do believe I'm fairly just in the assumption that you serve coffee and other such beverages?"

"You'd be right, hun. No worries, day's been quiet so far so take your time."

Shen exhaled, ever so slightly, in amusement at her clear attempt to ration out the social interaction.

"Hm, yes. I do believe I will, it's a rather lovely little establishment you have here I do say. Yes. I could find myself lounging by the fire for hours indeed!" the Knight accepted, gesturing towards the lounge area set up around the crackling fireplace; no doubt wanting to sink into the plush seats and abundance of pillows and blankets.

"So, you said it's your first time in Littlekeep, I reckon you the adventurin' type?"

With a pleasant hum the Knight selected a seat at the bar and sat down with gusto, gently thumping his hand onto the counter as he did so. "Ha! Indeed I am! Or rather, I'm a bit of a Wanderer, you see. No real destination in mind, seeing the sights, surviving the perils, helping those in need, endeavors of that sort, you understand."

Coffee held a hand to her chest, "Oh bless your heart, you didn't have much trouble getting here, did ya? Travellin all by yourself?"

"No worries here! Hm. The only event that comes to mind was a bit of a scuffle I had with a rather nefarious, dastardly alchemist back in Dawngrove. Yes. I'd say it was about 2, perhaps 3 months ago?" Just before he finished his thought his 'face' lit up, "In fact, now that you mention it I haven't been travelling alone as of recently. It wasn't always that way, you see, but I've had the good fortune of befriending a fellow adventurer on my way here!"

If her heart was any warmer hearing this she'd probably start crying, "That's wonderful! Are they still with you now?"

"Yes! I believe they're somewhere in town seeking supplies, or was it for gear maintenance? Or magic related? I don't quite recall, but I'm sure they'd love to meet you! Hm, yes. Anyways, pardon me for stalling, I suppose it's about time to place my order. Yes. I think I'd quite like to try-"

"Ay Cawf, remind me to double the milk order next time we needa' restock I think that asshole got into the supply again last night. Been doin this shit for days man the guys are tellin' me it's kobolds but I ain't buying it I'll tell ya that much-"

The doorway into the tower opened abruptly, followed by the clinking of cups, jars, and silverware against Bean's glass arms. Neither sound raising above the damn near rapid fire yelling that was his 'indoor voice'. He, having looked up from the counter for just a second once realizing there was a customer, made the closest thing he could get to a pleasantly shocked expression before circling the counter and spreading his arms out wide.

"AYYY HOW YA DOIN' BIG GUY!!!"

"Ha! Well I'll be a goblin's Affinity! Hello, hello! Yes! So good to see you, old sport!!!" the Knight rose from his seat, meeting Bean halfway and sweeping him into a valkyrian hug, both of them laughing up a storm.

"Oh! Wasn't expectin y'all to know each other!"

"Ah you don't know the 'alf of it Cawf, I'm tellin ya, me and this guy? We go WAY back!" Bean gave the Knights shoulder a hearty smack, "I'd invite this sunava bitch to my weddin if I actually cared about that sorta thing eh?"

With a smile tugging the corner of her mouth, Coffee leaned forward against the counter, the look on her face less of confusion and more of a smug curiosity. "Bean, darlin', we grew up together. You been hidin someone from me?"

"Brother if you weren't payin attention that ain't on me I'll tellya that much"

"Ha! Well, better to be acquainted late than not at all I do say!"

"So what brings you to lit'le ol' Littlekeep, eh? Still got that broth on ya? Need more of them jars?"

The Knight, laughing heartily, reached into his bag; out from which he procured a rather pristine glass jar with a beautifully clear and rich amber liquid swirling inside. "Ah just the usual travels, my friend. Yes. And I'm surprisingly still well stocked on jars for the moment. Lucky for you this batch here is still fresh! Go ahead! On the house I say!"

"Well well well don't mind if I do!~" Bean replied, plucking the jar from the Knight's hand with waggling fingers. "I've been doin some brainstormin recently, I think I gotta recipe that might work."

"Recipe?" Coffee slipped in, side eyeing the jar.

"A funny story, really. You see, Bean here is rather determined to uncover a way to unite my broth with his coffee. Hm. I can't say I see the appeal, but I will admit it becomes slightly more drinkable with each attempt!"

"...Bean, hun, why?"

"You tellin me you're surprised by this?"

Coffee sighed, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

"Not only am I not surprised, I also wanna know if it could work."

"Ha! I'd expect no less from two dedicated baristas!" the Knight made a move to sit back down, "Now, before I forget, I do believe I would like to have-"

CLANG!!!

The chaotic rattling of the bell cut off his order, followed by multiple sets of thudding leather boots on hardwood and the door slamming closed again. A group of four had skulked their way into the building, single file, all while snapping their fingers in unison. All of them Knights, four different variations of "Rat" from the looks of it. The sheer impossibility of looking any more nefarious, dastardly even, was something to marvel.

The three at the counter exchanged looks; Shen turned to the next page of his book without so much as a glance or equivalent sign of recognition.

The rat in the lead, who also looked to be the skrunkliest of the bunch, turned to face them; with the confidence and grace of a drunken rogue he made his way towards the counter, the rest of his gang still snapping in unison. The Knight cleared his throat.

"Well, hello there! I do hope this fine day has-"

"Shut'yer trap, old man!" the rat cackled.

"Old m- old man? I'm in my 30s."

The skrunkly little rat stopped just in front of the three, his back hunched forward and hand laying lax on his belt buckle, before looking around; feigning interest in his surroundings.

"Huh, nice place ya got 'ere. Real cozy lookin' and all that. Yeeaah. Be a real shame if a little somethin somethin happened to-it, huh?"

Bean blinked to process what was happening, which was rare for him, before turning to Coffee; pointing at the rat as he did so.

"Okay so that was totally a threat or somethin, right?"

"Don't 'ave to be, long as everyone 'ere plays nice, eh?" the rats behind him chuckled in unison, the snapping finally ceased, "So lemme axe youse a question, who's the bloke runnin this joint?"

"Bloke? Brother, pick a struggle-"

"That would be me, hun," Coffee crossed her arms, brow raised, with a downright irresponsible amount of disapproval and unamusement radiating from her eyes, "and as the 'bloke runnin this joint' I'd say it's in y'alls best interest to get out. Now."

All four rats chuckled in response, with the leader whipping out an appropriately nefarious looking dagger from his belt. Although hard to see, a layer of schmutz coated the dagger and dripped off the pointy end, no doubt a chemical of some kind.

"Heheheheh. So 'eres whats gonna 'appen, toots, you're gonna take all the moolah in that jar over there and you're gonna put it in my goon's sack over 'ere."

"...the tip jar?"

One of the three, the large burly one to be precise, stepped forward. The sack they held up clinked as it moved around, probably around halfway full, and it looked as if the symbol for Marks was crudely painted onto the burlap material.

Bean threw his hands up, exasperated, and said with a tone almost of concern, "You really doin this? Broad daylight? Four people in the building and one in the kitchen? You- brother- you realize that big guy sittin at the fire back there was one of them demon slaya's, right?"

"Leave me out of this." Shen adjusted in his seat and flipped to the next page.

"Don't care, didn't axe, plus I bet I could take all youse by myself!"

The Knight stepped forward, chin up in recognition and holding an arm in front of Bean, "Hm. Really now?"

"Yeeeaaah. So what'sit gonna be?"

"Hm. You raise a respectable point, I trust that you've accomplished a great many feats to lend credence to this declaration of prowess?"

"Heheheh oh I'll lend some credence to-ya alright." the rat waved his dagger around, "this baby right 'eres named 'credence' now"

"Ha! Very well, villain!" the Knight stepped forward once more and brandished his fists, "Finally, a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!"

He swore he could see a flash of intimidation in the rat's eyes.

"Well, y'know what they say old man-"

"30s"

"-y'know what they say old man, never bring a fist tuah KNIFE FIGHT-"

It was pathetic, honestly. With a scattering of deep red sparks and a reverberating clash of metal, the rat's attempt at a thrusting attack had been parried by the Knight's big meaty gauntlet. And, as if the rat was now stuck in slow motion, the Knight just as casually sent his other, unarmored fist directly into the stomach; strangely enough this also produced a reverberating clash of metal. A mix of groans, oofs, and 'oh mans' followed.

"A-alright, buddy that's it! GOONS! STICK 'EM!!!"

"Hmph. Well that's no way to fight honorably now is it-"

CRASH.

The Knight, startled, whirled around on his heels and was met with...nothing. Nothing except for one of the rats, this one looking rather average, unconscious on the floor; Coffee standing over him, gripping the handle of a now broken bottle, flashed him a cheeky smile.

"Wait, HUH!? NO! MY GOONS! WHAT 'APPENED???"

The two (the last one turned out to be an Elf by the way) that remained by the door laid unconscious as well, Shen sitting atop the large one with his book still in hand. He cleared his throat and turned the page.

"Huh. Well. I'd say we all handled this pretty well! Yes! Now, I'll keep watch over this lot. One of you should best alert the proper authorities, post haste!"

Bean chimed in, walking between him and the rats and setting down a large empty crate. "Authorities? Nah, Littlekeep's too lit'le for that."

"Huh, well, then how do you suppose we teach these rapscallions a lesson?"

"Oh that’s the easy part, we'll just take everything they owns strip em down to their loincloths send em into the woods and see what 'appens."

The Knight stood in silence for a moment, looking down at the skrunkly, looking back up at Bean, and then turning to the bar counter with a shrug.

"Now, I hope you're not thinkin that act a' kindness won't go rewarded, darlin', it's on the house now! Consider it paid for by that fella on the floor there."

"You're too kind, I say! Well then, I do believe I'll take you up on that immediately!"

The Knight stroked what would be his chin.

"Now, I believe I would like-"

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The End

Oniran    Stories & Lore    Stories      The Knight of Cups

Black Tower Barista OST

Cure for the
Common Day

Moment in Time

Melody of a
Resting Wanderer

We're The Rats

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Anthology

Morning Brew

450 words | Brief moments in time, a look into the average morning for the friends running The Black Tower Barista.

We Brew a Little Trolling

2077 words | Shen & Bean find themselves trapped between a Troll and a hard place. Excessive banter ensues.

A Watched Dough
Never Rises

1940 words | It's always unwise to leave Fluff alone in the café for too long. Today it was simply unavoidable, and like clockwork Fluff is greeted with unexpected and rather unconventional visitors.

The Knight of Cups

2300 words | It's a quiet day at The Black Tower Barista, but it quickly takes a turn for the unexpected when a cheerful, downright whimsical Knight wanders through the door.

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Setting

Littlekeep

Littlekeep is an extremely small town, a village really, South of Stonewood and a smidge to the East along the forest's edge. It used to be a lot bigger, but as Stonewood continued to grow more and more people moved out of Littlekeep. Now it's more or less a checkpoint to and from Stonewood. Its citizens apparently don't mind too much, a smaller town means a tighter knit community.

The description of a "checkpoint" isn't exaggeration. There actually aren't a lot of remaining houses and the majority of the town is made up of shops, trades, and other relevant establishments specifically for any and all adventurers passing through. The people there just live where they work. It's for this reason that, despite it's small size, the town is more than well off on its own. You can actually get stuff there that you'd never expect to find in such a "first stop" kind of town.

The Vision

Littlekeep is the logical conclusion of "The First Town", AKA the first place a party gets to visit with the sole purpose of giving them access to shops. So what if that was the entire point?
Almost every building is a shop, everyone who lives there is specialized in a specific trade or craft, it's extremely small which means more focused/developed NPCs and a better sense of cohesion, and because of that it has a handful of options for campaign seeds.
(One of which I totally haven't been foreshadowing for the past 5 months)
In addition, Littlekeep has been this checkpoint for so long and so many adventurers have come through that the town itself has "leveled up" in a sense. Meaning the stuff you can get and find there are a lot more advanced than what you'd expect from what would otherwise be a "low level" town.

The Black Tower Barista

The Black Tower Barista serves as Littlekeep's tavern, despite technically not actually being one. It sits right at the edge of the forest and is very out-of-the-way compared to the rest of town. It's run by the Dawnroast Guild, two pairs of childhood friends who met one day and simply clicked. And while this next bit could be said about many Knight-inclusive establishments in, around, and near Stonewood, this café is a prime example of "the staff are the perfect match for the job in literally every conceivable way".

The place itself is more of a Keep than a single building, it actually consists of multiple, somewhat walled-off but lacking any real form of gates or security. From the outside the café comes off as a tavern jutting out the side of a large tower made from darkened cobblestone, but you'll smell the coffee long before you reach the homestead or even the lush garden surrounding it.

Inside the café is a cozy space with a few scattered tables and a bar counter to your left and a lounge area to the right; the bar counter is on the far end and connects to the tower, which is where the kitchen, the Guild's living quarters, and library are. The lounge area is particularly pleasant, complete with rocking chairs, plush seats, a warm hearth, and an irresponsible amount of pillows and blankets. The interior as a whole is warmly lit by dangling firelights and candles that give off the smell of coffee and baked goods.

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The Staff

Coffee

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Elf

She/Her

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An absolute sweetheart with a bit of an accent who calls pretty much everyone an assortment of pet names, hun being her favorite. She's the owner of the café and the one doing all the important stuff behind the scenes, despite the hefty responsibilities she's very sociable and will immediately try to make conversation with anyone visiting.

Notable Lore

Having grown up with Bean in both Market Town and Southern Stonewood, she adopted the Knight-sounding name after falling in love with coffee at an age where she should not have been given coffee.

You'll often see her at the counter helping Bean with barista stuff, though she doesn't know how to make anything more complicated than a latte; clearly she's just the only one who can reliably keep him in check.

She's the one you wanna go to for gossip, the woman is basically a living breathing file cabinet for everyone who's ever walked into the building. If asked about something particularly scandalous she'll answer in a hushed tone while frequently asking Bean for clarification and input, even if she knows he has no idea what you two are talking about.

She has a habit of leaning on stuff (including people) and is almost always seen chewing on handfuls of coffee beans like it's gum, the latter is hard to notice unless you actually see her putting the beans in her mouth.

Fluff

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Knight,
Magic Type

He/Him

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A humble pastry chef with a strong wholesome vibe and an overwhelmingly chill demeanor. He spends most of the time in the kitchen so if you wanna see him your best bet is on the more quiet days when he has some time to spare, he'll be at the counter or the lounge with whoever he feels like hanging out with. More on the jovial side but excellent at matching energy. Bean almost exclusively calls him "Big Guy".

Notable Lore

Has an obvious habit of dusting his arms in flour from a pouch on his belt. This is because he's kinda sorta literally made of dough and will stick to things if he doesn't dust regularly.

The dough in question is edible and will grow back overnight depending on how much of himself he's used. The "Baker's Special" donuts he makes with it are damn near perfect, but due to the limitations there's only a certain number of batches made per day and they sell quick. Thanks to some divine luck they go even better with the coffee.

He has no discernible accent and the way he talks depends completely on the situation, he's pretty good at reading the room. Like dough, his energy rises as the day progresses.

Bean

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Knight,
Craft Type

He/Him

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About as chaotic as it gets, he's the co-owner along with Coffee and also the only barista in this establishment, but since the town is so small he has no trouble keeping up on his own. Loud, proud, and with a very clear Market Town edge to his voice, he talks as if he's in a race to say as many words as he can in the shortest amount of time.

Notable Lore

He has an extensive knowledge of different drinks to the point where you could probably make up one and he'll immediately know how it's made.

He'll get passionate and/or emotional about literally anything and it usually takes a bit for newcomers to realize he's not actually angry at them. The best way to see this in action is to ask him to settle a silly argument or for his opinion on some obscure thing. He'll engage any topic as if he's an expert.

He gets asked if his coffee is drinkable a lot more than you think. Yes it's drinkable, yes it refills, no it doesn't hurt him, yes you can have some if you give a tip, and yes it's downright irresponsibly strong and will absolutely fuck you up, but it's good. When asked he immediately leans forward and begins talking in a hushed tone as if he's giving you some illegal information, this is purely a bit. He just thinks it's REALLY funny that you asked.

You can always hear a clicking sound when around him; it's coming from a small wooden toy that he's fidgeting with whenever his hands are free, helps him focus. If asked about it, he'll proudly say it was a gift from Coffee after moving to Littlekeep.

Shen

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Elf

He/Him

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The housekeeper who holds himself to a very high standard, the kind of person to aggressively insist that you use a coaster, though in virtually every other aspect is just as chill and easygoing as his dear friend, Fluff. Despite the intimidating presence, or perhaps because of it, he has an air of wisdom to him.

Notable Lore

Those who ask will find out that he's actually a samurai and a veteran demon hunter. He's used to explaining that in Elven tradition ex-samurai don't really exist, once the title is earned it's never lost. His element was Water, and you might even see him using that same magic to clean.

You'd think he'd also be a voice of reason in the café but there's a little nuance. While he does take his and everyone else's responsibilities seriously, he'll absolutely indulge the more chaotic members in their antics when he feels like it. He's the voice of reason only in the sense of making sure no one dies. He's just too old to care otherwise.

Those who're observant will notice that, despite usually being quiet and reserved, he completely opens up around Fluff. It's clear they have history, it's no secret they were childhood friends, but to this day no one truly knows if Fluff was also a demon hunter. And the fact that it's not an automatic no only makes the implication more concerning.

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Just a Heads Up
All of the character lore was written in my notes for TTRPG purposes long before writing the short stories, so even with any changes I end up making there might be a handful of inconsistencies with how they're written vs how I've described them here in the sidebar; it's all canon regardless.

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Manuscript

The Knight of Cups

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