Vet

I had the most horrible experience some days ago.

The humans threw me into that horrible mobile jail. This usually means one thing. A horrible trip in the noisy metal box, before we arrive at the most inhospitable place in the world.

The vet's office.

Don't worry, I survived. But not without a severe dent into my pride.

— Hugo the Overlord

The vet is a subspecies of humans that seems to thrive in the awful place that is the vet's office.

Torturers

There's a lot of things that can happen at a vet's office, and all of them are bad. As much as the humans say they're against animal cruelty, they sure seem quite okay with taking us cats to the vet. And then they just stand there, watching the vet torturing us with all kinds of needles and devices. They even prevent us from getting away from the nightmarish handling of our persons by holding us in place when we try to escape.

The vet will poke you with needles, which might or might not make you unbelievably sleepy. With the sleep-inducing kind, when you wake up, there's a great chance you'll find yourself in the clutches of the Cone of Shame (see sidebar for information). This is a horrible, horrible fate. Pray that it won't happen to you.

by saulhm

by Mirko Sajkov

Sometimes, the vet will use the Unmentionable Stick. The actual function of the stick is unknown, but seeing how fond the vet seems to torment us, the stick probably has no function other than making us miserable. The Unmentionable Stick is poked into... I can't even say what they do with it. It's so horrible. The audacity.

Okay Fine, Sometimes It's Needed

Sometimes, it's actually important to get to the vet. They do help you when you're hurt. We cats have amazing technology, but as much as it hurts us to admit it, the vets have superior health science.

Another thing to add is that some vets are actually okay. They seem to do their best to make us calm in this horrible situation. True, they do all the atrocious things to us, but those precious few good vets at least seem like they want to try to comfort us in our misery.

But it's still a horrible horrible place.

Scientific Name

Homo sapiens veterinarius

Conservation Status

There are way too many vets in the world, they're definitely not close to extinction

Terms

The vet's office

A horrible place that smells weird where the vets do awful things to you.

Cone of Shame

A plastic device that makes a cat's life miserable. I mean, you are prevented from cleaning yourself! Humans are SO disgusting! Have you ever seen them licking themselves? If they'd been just a bit more sensible and hygienic, they'd NEVER invent anything like this!
Pictured below is Hugo the Overlord wearing a Cone of Shame.

Cone of Shame by Milladamen