Processor Men
"And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
But you go
Well a processor man am I
And I'm tellin' you no lie
I work and toil among the pistons
And never ask why
There's thunder all around me
And there's poison in the air
There's a lousy smell
That smacks of hell
And dust all in me hair
And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
But you go
Well I've worked among the spitters
And I breathe the oily smoke
I've shoveled up the fireplane dust
And it nigh on makes you choke
I've stood knee-deep in sulfur
Got sick with a caustic burn
Been working rough
I've seen enough
To make your stomach turn
And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
But you go
There's overtime and bonus opportunities galore
The young gnomes like their money
And they all come back for more
But soon you're knocking on
And you look older than you should
For every bob
Made on the job
You pay with flesh and blood
And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
But you go
Well a processor man am I
And I'm tellin' you no lie
I work and toil among the pistons
And never ask why
There's thunder all around me
And there's poison in the air
There's a lousy smell
That smacks of hell
And dust all in me hair
And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
And it's go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death
But you go"
~Processor Man Shanty
Career
Payment & Reimbursement
Processor men are paid in gold, and lots of it. Their last pay of their salary is given to their families in the event of their death.
Wealth Salary: 1d8
Other Benefits
Processor men are revered as rugged workmen and considered the backbones of society by Rock Gnomes.
Perception
Purpose
The Processor men operate and maintain the Difference Engine
Social Status
As their nicknames suggest, the Processor men are considered heroes and saints, revered as orcs may revere warriors and dwarves revere master smiths.
Demographics
Almost all Processor Men are Rock Gnomes, though a few dwarves and humans have been attracted by the pay.
Operations
Workplace
The conditions that processor men work in are a nightmarish hellscape of slamming pistons, grinding gears, whirring belts, blasting steam, and toxic materials.
Dangers & Hazards
In short, processoring is dangerous work. Obstructions in the workings of the Difference Engine must be removed, parts must be oiled, repaired, or replaced, and valves must be routed and rerouted during the normal course of the day. Diamond dust, gypsum, sulfur, and Radiant Skystone as well as dangerous materials with thirteen-syllable names harvested from the Edhekadrel are in use at various ports and smelters of the machine. A day without at least one gnome ground into paste or poisoned or burned to death is cause for celebration.
Alternative Names
Innerfagner Tnerd'vligli (Innovation Saints) AKA IT Men, Nerds (short for "Tnerd'vligli", gnomish word for saint or martyr)
Type
Technology
Demand
Without the processor men, the Difference Engine would cease to function in a few hours to a day.
Legality
Processor men are immune to regular gnomish laws for as long as they're in good standing with their overseers. They are sometimes assigned to the task by a judge as a form of penance.
Related Locations
Comments