Hooligans

“It doesn’t eat to kill. It eats to piss you off.” -Dockmaster Fil Rennan, after pulling one out of his boot

Vivid as a festival ribbon and ten times more annoying, the Hooligan is a small, reefbound menace of Everwealth’s coastal shallows. With scales gleaming electric blue, marked with erratic blood-red patches and bold white stripes, it resembles a cross between a snapper and a bluefish, but carries the temperament of a drunken knife-fighter. It is named not for its taxonomy, but for its behavior; This fish doesn’t hunt so much as harass. Instead of preying on plankton or chasing bait schools, the Hooligan charges larger fish, not to kill them, but to pluck scales, bite chunks of mucus tissue, or even gouge soft fin-skin with a precision unmatched by other fish its size. Griefscales, Shinefins, and other mid-tier predators can often be seen flinching and swatting at the water in frustration, unable to retaliate against these nimble, gleeful parasites. Where Hooligans swarm, peace unravels.

Basic Information

Anatomy

The Hooligan averages 12-16 inches in length, its frame lean and torpedo-like with a tapered snout and serrated jaws. Its scales shimmer a saturated, oceanic blue, broken by jagged white streaks down its sides and irregular splotches of crimson along the gills and dorsal fin. Its caudal fin is deeply forked for speed, and its pectoral fins are unusually large, allowing for sudden darting maneuvers and tight turns. The most distinct feature is its recurved lower teeth, evolved not for piercing but scraping and wrenching, perfect for stripping scales and soft flesh from larger targets. The gills are armored with dense cartilage to survive retaliation, and its skull is slightly sloped, giving it a perpetually smug expression.

Genetics and Reproduction

Hooligans reproduce rapidly through external spawning, releasing massive clouds of gametes during heat tides or warm moon-pulls. Spawning frenzies resemble bloodied whirlpools as hundreds of Hooligans swarm together in a maelstrom of violence and breeding. Their young hatch quickly, developing into scale-nippers within a week, already attacking smaller fish in a manner that seems instinctive rather than learned.

Growth Rate & Stages

• Hatchling (0-1 week): Plankton-sized, prey for everything.

• Juvenile (1 week-1 month): Begins swarm behavior, scale-plucking begins.

• Adult (1 month+): Fully formed harasser, joins hunting packs.

Lifespan: 2-3 years on average, though most die violently by predator retaliation.

Ecology and Habitats

Hooligans dwell in reef cracks, shallow estuaries, and the inner kelp forests near coastal areas such as Wardsea and Gullsperch, as well as the subtropical currents of northern Kibonoji. They prefer warm, well-lit waters where larger prey gather, often trailing predator species like Griefscales or even juvenile Ship-Snap Turtles in hopes of leeching off their bulk. Their swarms are disruptive but critical to ecosystem turnover, clearing necrotic tissue from injured fish, controlling excess mucus growth, and accelerating the food web’s recycling.

Dietary Needs and Habits

Hooligans are micropredatory grazers, feeding primarily on the living tissue of larger fish without killing them. Their preferred meal includes:

• Loose or shedding scales.

• Fresh mucus film.

• Fungal-infected or injured fin-tissue.

• Parasites hiding in the gill folds of slower prey.

While they do consume plankton and reef scrap, this accounts for less than 20% of their diet. Most of their energy comes from scale and slime-harvesting behavior, an act that does not kill the host but deeply agitates it, especially when performed in groups. Fisherfolk report that large gatherings of Shinefins or Griefscales are often abandoned if a Hooligan swarm moves in. The fish simply cannot eat or mate in peace.

Biological Cycle

Active year-round, Hooligans increase their aggression during late spring and early summer, when spawning events escalate their numbers and hostility. During this time, even sharks have been seen bolting from reefs after repeated irritation. In colder months, they become more solitary, striking less frequently and hiding in wreck crevices. It is during this quieter phase that they are most often caught, dried, and sold as high-salt tavern fare.

Behaviour

Hooligans exhibit what scholars call “targeted harassment behavior.” They are not indiscriminate hunters, they fixate on the most vulnerable or irritated fish in the vicinity. They taunt, poke, nip, and dodge with uncanny timing, seeming to understand frustration on an almost malicious level. Groups of 3-5 often work in tandem, attacking a single large fish repeatedly while keeping out of range. If the target lashes out, the group splits and reforms like a well-rehearsed mob. Despite this, they are not malevolent. Their behavior is opportunistic and territorial, not cruel, though few larger fish would agree with that assessment.

Scientific Name

Loricarius irritans.

Origin/Ancestry

Believed to be a native reef-harasser dating back to the Lost Age. Some speculate they are a magickally corrupted offshoot of smaller reef snappers exposed to something during The Great Schism

Conservation Status

Abundant, but Managed. While numerous and widely dispersed, Hooligan populations are culled aggressively near aquaculture zones and seaweed farms. Their presence aggravates livestock fish and inhibits spawning behavior in commercial Shinefins and Griefscale pens. Despite this, they are an important part of the reef’s self-cleaning system, and some druids defend their role as “the reef’s rude nurses.”