Synthisaurus Rex

A genetically engineered killing machine, now on sale

Written by Ademal

  Are you tired of having to watch your back on every mission? Does going on a Dead Drop not even wake you up in the morning anymore?   It sounds like you need a  
GOD.
DAMNED.
SYN.
REX.
   
Hold the fuck up!
What?!
  That's right kiddoes, you heard it here first. We at Abominable Creations Inc, the company that brought you the absolutely insane Violentoraptor, are back at it, hitting the charts with this utterly suicidal follow up:

The SYNTHISAURUS REX.  
BUY NOW.
 
If you don't someone else will.
Do you really want that?
 


It wasn't long after the invention of Synthisaur that the market for them exploded. The smaller varieties are popular with the families, while rougher crowds keep the carnivore market afloat.

No matter where you're from, you can't deny how cool a goddamn Rex is... I'm getting one.
— Aspiring Synthisaur owner

Made to Order

Syn-Rex's are owned and produced by Abominable Creations, a company dedicated to eccentric Synthisaur designs tailored-to-order for their wealthy clientele.   The Syn-Rex comes stock with bioluminescence, Visual Mesmer capabilities, extreme strength, and remarkably acute senses, all of which band together to make them a horrifying apex predator. They are imprinted onto their owner for life (~20 Years), and are extremely loyal.
Aw hell yeah, I got my Syn-Rex with all the features.
— A new Syn-Rex owner

Legality

Syn-Rex are illegal on most worlds. They are considered dangerous predators and a threat to society. They are mostly found on Lux Worlds and Meteor Yachts.
Remembered to buy everything but food. Turns out people are food. My maid shall be missed.
— A 4-star review from a Syn-Rex owner


Genetic Ancestor(s)
Scientific Name
Synthisaurine Tyrannosaurinae

Optional Features

Stealth Mode Click here to see. Get this option and your Syn-Rex will come with the ability to release clouds of vapor and engage in active camouflage. Spooky!
 
Fire Breathing Do we really need to justify this one? You can have an apex, FIRE BREATHING predator.
 
Advanced Manipulators Longer arms and 6-Fingered hands! Syn-Rex with this option will be able to learn how to use tools and weapons. Purchase with caution!
 
Armor Plating Combine this with the last two and you've basically got a fucking dragon, what more could you ask for?
 
Mini-Fridge Wanna kick back, crack open a cold one, and enjoy the hell you've caused? You'll have to look else-where because we don't really offer this. Sorry. Not.

Further Reading


Syn-Rexes are far from the only genetically engineered life forms in Ethnis, and not all Synthisaurs are used in such an indulgent and extravagant way. Synthisaurs form the backbone of building an ecosystem on many settled worlds.   Check out the science behind Genestruction and read about Synthisaurs as a whole here!



Cover image: Apex Barney by Ademal

Comments

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9 Jul, 2018 01:19

YOU WANT YOUR TREX TO COOK ITS OWN FOOD? GET THE FIREBREATH!
  Seriously though, I want one.

9 Jul, 2018 01:20

I have spent about 5 hours on this damn article, that was the cathartic ending for it I needed.   Charizard, I choose you!

Admin of the World Anvil Codex & Discord | Director of Ethnis | My Ko-Fi | My Twitter
10 Jul, 2018 10:30

I want one. No, scratch that. I want THREE!   Well-written and funny!

10 Jul, 2018 14:59

Thank you!

Admin of the World Anvil Codex & Discord | Director of Ethnis | My Ko-Fi | My Twitter
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