Hope
10th Month of Winds, 854ME
I am exhausted. Emotionally wrecked. Beaten. Bruised. Broken.
Only one thing is really holding me together. The fact that the pieces have finally fallen, the puzzle completed. I can see the whole picture and it is an ugly sight. From where I am standing at this moment it seems that there is no good ending, for anyone. I thought that once I had all the answers that this would become easier but I was horribly mistaken. Now I can see more clearly the paths have multiplied and a single wrong turn can lead to devastating conclusions.
For the past months I've been blinded. Driven mostly by the anger and fear in my heart, I lost my way. I lost the reason why I was doing this in the first place. Ever since Desseray, ever since I died in that pit I haven't felt like myself. It was like I was an empty husk and nothing particularly mattered anymore. The ruins only cemented this notion, steering me to a darker place. But now I have new hope, as little as it may be. I am going to stop being the pawn within this wicked game of fates, its time to take control. I am not the same person that left Ba Sing Se all that time ago. I am not the same scared little girl setting out on her first adventure. I control my own destiny, not the gods, not Na'keks or the host. I have finally take the reigns and it feels...exhilarating.
People died to get us here, heroes that I will remember forever and I will make sure are immortalised in history, the real history. I will make sure they did not die in vain. I will change this world for the better. I will set us on the right path... I have to.
Sundered Ruins: Entry 4
9th, Month of Winds, 854ME
Helo left today.
The one person I felt I could wholeheartedly trust has just deserted me. Honestly though she had the best reason anyone could have to abandon us, when family is in trouble you have to help, I of all people should understand that. But we're close to something special here, I know it. Especially with the news that Talie is also in the ruins. We just need to make it to that tower. It became activated when I touched that wall maybe now is the time...
This need I have to reach that tower has been slowly growing in me, but I can feel its finally got its claws into me. That fucking rune floating atop the tower has begun to pulse, taunting me. Tomorrow we're planning to make it at least half way but I don't know how much a blow Helo's departure will be. I just hope she's safe and that she finds what she's looking for. I'm going to miss her.
At least Helo has purpose in what she's doing, she knows where she needs to be. I'm not so sure anymore. The only thing I can think about is that tower and what it might mean, how it might be an end to this horrible story. Although I feel so lost with everything swirling around in my head. I doubt myself more and more everyday. I just really need help from someone more capable then me. I feel like a misplaced piece on this game board, like I was accidentally thrown into this mess and now I can't find a way out.
I pray to the gods almost everyday for help and yet I get no answer, not even a sign that I'm doing the right thing or that I am on the right path. The best I can do now is just to keep moving forward and to trust in myself and in my own ability. Hopefully it's enough.
Sundered Ruins: Entry 3
8th, Month of Winds, 854ME
As I am writing this down the hag, Ginevera, is only mere feet away from the hut wall starring daggers in our direction. It's unnerving to have the attention of such a dark and shifty creature, but there's nothing we can do now. We'll just have to wait and see when she'll make her move for the shard and be prepared for her when she does. In all honesty though, we owe her thanks for saving the lives of our party members and for also showing us the real danger these ruins posses. Subduing those Chasme was a challenge, one that we barely escaped from. However, that fight also dredged up a lot of unanswered questions. The demon spoke of Tharizdun before we ran, nothing of importance but now i wonder what draws this war here instead of more populated places in Drass. Why not fight for the land that lies beneath the darkness?
Although there are many shrouded areas on the path ahead, things have begun to clear ever so slightly. We meet a blacksmith, an elf who seemed wise beyond his years. He was kind but spoke of such complex notions, he briefly mentioned how the gods treat us like pawns in their great games. This sparked an idea within me; what if it wasn't Na'Keks that killed my mother but he is merely a piece in someone else's scheme. The blue dragon mentioned it before but I brushed it aside, now I wonder if maybe she was telling the truth seeing what I have seen.
The stories of Na'Keks before and of what I have seen of him now don't match either; someone doesn't change like that, not all of a sudden. Maybe I've been wrong this entire time.
Sundered Ruins: Entry 2
8th, Month of Winds, 854ME
The rune flared again today, this time it appeared floating above the central tower of the ruins. There's something there, something important, I can feel it. Although I realise now that coming here was a mistake, but leaving seems like it will be an even bigger one.
After touching that wall I saw some amazing sights, things that I'd never seen before. The city was alive and beautiful, I saw children playing, people in fine clothes, even the guards wore jewelled armour. The main thing that caught my eye were the metal men wandering amongst the people. They were so life like, their movements felt calculated and deliberate. I would love to find one, maybe even get some sketches for Hawk. But touching the wall also instilled in me a need to reach that tower. Like it's calling to me. Only one other team was able to reach the tower and at a great cost most likely. Maybe there'll be a way to follow in their footsteps and ease our burden.
Recently though it's begun to feel a little like the old times, right now we're sat in a tavern laughing and drinking. Helo is dancing with strangers in a drunken stupor as the other are sat together watching. It's nice to have a reminder of why we are doing this, even in little things like this. It's beginning to feel a little like an actual group of friends again, we just need to try look after each other in there.
It may all seem normal for now but I fear this feeling won't last, there is this purple puss seeping out of Helo, Vrael and Dolbeks faces which matches the mushrooms from before. Dolbek hasn't been acting like himself either, he has this slight look of concern but hasn't said much. If this poises a further threat we may be at the mercy of the hag. A position which we would never want to be in.
I hope that there is an easy fix. But if not I'm sure it will turn out alright, for us things normally do.
I just know if they need me I won't leave them, I will not let there be another Ulfgar.
Sundered Ruins: Entry 1
7th, Month of Winds, 854ME
We've finally reached the Ruins. From afar the city looked so majestic easily spanning at least 30 miles across the horizon. Legend states that this was once a metropolis boasting grand buildings and wide thoroughfares, but now only monstrous aberrations and large ravines run through it.
I'm writing this atop of one of the wrecked buildings of the Ruins as the others try and sleep, ignoring the barks and snarls in the distance from the numerous hell hounds. It's a shame to think how this area should be a fountain of knowledge and history, but instead it is a battleground for the devils and demons that run havoc throughout. I just wonder what has brought them here.
I know we've just breached the outer shell of the city but yet I'm feeling quite optimistic about our fortune here. There seems to be a large humanoid presence so far and if they can survive, why can't we? Even if I am confident about our chances, it does not mean I will throw caution to the wind.
I'm not ready to die, not again, not yet.
Wayward Drake
2nd, Month of Winds, 854ME
The nights are cold out in the desert, and the wood of this cart is uncomfortable. I'm just feeling very helpless at the moment, I can still barely move on my own and I don't quite feel all together. I haven't attempted casting any spells yet and I'm quite hesitant to, I'd rather just avoid combat all together but with the world how it is, it seems like an impossible task.
While travelling the other day Garan pointed out another dragon flying overhead. This time heading south. With so many dragons flocking to Peloria I wonder if this one is part of Na'Keks's rank. If so what is his mission? Why head south?
The number of monstrosities answering his "call" amazes me. I just wonder what he has promised them to get these malicious, selfish beings to work together. But then I look at my own party and think the same. I just trust very little at the moment, death taught me that trust is a fools game.
We are half way to the Ruins now and with this show of strength that Na'Kek's has displayed, the light seems even dimmer.
Revelations
1st, Month of Winds, 854ME
We're heading out to the Sundered Ruins later on today, but I'm a bit sceptical of what we might find there. I don't hold out a lot of hope for that place, we have heard so many stories of death and destruction that I don't think we'll be able to explore to the extent the others are thinking. But we'll just have to get there and see, it is the next logical step and the others may surprise me.
Today actually they were a lot more open with one another at our meeting, but I still sense tears between them. It seems as if two distinct groups are forming, one of Helo, Vrael and Dolbek and another of Ember and Garan. I hope that with time this wound may heal but I don't hold out much hope. Our mission is the most important thing right now, I pray this divide doesn't compromise that.
Although I still don't feel like myself, there's this weight in my heart and my head that I can't quite shake. I know its only been a day but I can't have the luxury of taking this time to heal. Time is short especially with Na'Kek's warning. Although I feel as if we've already lost, the light at the end of the tunnel is dwindling quickly. Maybe we are just too late.
The Awakening
30th, Month of Quiet, 853ME
I just woke from the hellish nightmare that was my death. I saw so much. Learnt so much. But right now all I feel is pain, my head is in a mess, that brief period talking to everyone was agony. I can't rest though, not until I understand what I went through.
(The rest of the page is filled with depictions and rough notes of the things Fiey saw, although most of it is illegible and it trails off the page quickly.)
Chaos at the Circus
9th, Month of Storms, 845ME
Tonight was... an eye opener.
Walking through the rustic town, I felt as if I have a grasp on Iograd and its people. It seems like a simple town set in its ways, even a circus really draws a crowd.
However, the circus was where things began to take a darker turn. Astor, the ring leader, was introducing the second act as dark flame burst from the velvet curtain engulfing him and the first row. The image of those people burning will be etched into my mind forever. I keep wondering about their families waiting at home for them. They'll be waiting a long time.
A group of us managed to subdue the attackers, killing one and capturing the other. I've never seen anyone die before, its strange watching the light drain from someones eyes. A million questions jumped into my mind as Garan's Blade butchered the man. Who was he? Would anyone care now he's died?
I've decided to stay with the people that helped me tonight, for a while at least. They seem like good people and that is in short supply nowadays.
Arrival in Iograd
9th, Month of Storms, 845ME
Setting foot on land today was a strange feeling, having spent 6 months at sea it felt as if all I've ever known are the decks of the Subtle Storm and her crew. But it seems nice here in Iograd, so I'm going to try and make the most of it. I've found a half decent inn to stay tonight called the Prancing Piper, it reminds me a little of where Ethan and I would often stay. It's going to be nice to get a quiet night at least, the crew of the Storm are lovely but fuck me do some of them snore, especially Gale.
I'm gonna try and get out tonight and get a feel for the town and her people, lets just hope I don't get into any trouble...
get ur tits out
You don't deserve them