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USP Fool Battlenauts

Prompt of 12 WA SummerCamp2020: Describe a vehicle in your world that brings joy wherever it arrives.
He got up early, even if he knew the driver of the tram wouldn't pick him up today either. It was always the same guy and he wasn't sure of what he had done to him, but he just couldn't get in there. He would have to walk to work again.

Even breakfast didn't taste great when he thought of having to walk for a whole hour. He put on his raincoat and his boots and set foot on the cold, wet pavement. His kingdom for an euphoria cask from one of those young vandals trucks. He hadn't been able to smile for a long time and deep down, he just wanted to feel happy, even if it was due to chemicals, a part of an illusion.

He heard a faint siren in the distance, getting closer. But it didn't sound normal, the sound trembled and went back and forth like it had been remixed. A second sound then invaded the end of the avenue he traversed on his way to work. Uncontrolled laughter. Thank Rediemo.
  As one of their many ways to mess up with the Coalition, the Unchained Successors like to "borrow" some of the older or less used emergency vehicles, like fire trucks and police vans, and repurpose them to fit their particular likings and messages. Most of these vehicles, when not scrapped into pieces, are turned into Battlenauts of different kinds, sturdy and decently fast vehicles to go in, do their mission fast, and get out. Perhaps none of these is weirder than the Fool variant.

Fool Battlenauts are usually signified by their more bizarre or bright color palettes, given that they're meant to put up a spectacle. When one of these trucks appears, normally one of two things will happen: the driver and crew might start to talk through a megaphone, wishing everyone a great day or telling some jokes to lighten up the mood. However, in the periods when the Successors Patrols feel like more visible action is needed to make their point, the occupants of the Fool will throw casks along their path, which release a special type of gas, that provokes no other symptom than a persistent sensation of euphoria and joy, independent of the current mood of the victim.

Propulsion

Even when the original vehicles usually run on magic radiation and/or refined vegetal oils, the rioters normally rig the engines to be compatible with highly volatile chemical solutions, meant to further increase the speed the vehicle can reach, depending on how effective the combustible is, although this tends to have negative effects on the engine in the long term.

Weapons & Armament

While the vehicle does not possess any weapons on it aside from occasional repurposed water cannon on top of the ensemble, it's normal for the occupants of the Battlenaut to carry some to protect themselves in case the forces of order trouble them.

Of course, the main contents of a Fool Battlenaut tend to be the casks containing the euphoric gas that provokes compulsive sensations of joy and laughter upon those who inhale it, which are thrown by the crew or using the aforementioned water cannon.

Armor and defense

Since scuffles with the authorities are fairly common, it's usual for any kind of Battlenaut to be covered with extra layers of metal to protect it from physical threats and defensive sigils for the occasional spell. These are normally welded or haphazardly stuck onto the original hull, giving a scrappy look to Battlenauts, which is balanced by their detailed painting and decoration.

Additionally, to allow the crew to pull their arms outside to perform any required action, the laterals, which in the original vehicle can be fully opened to allow easier access to the cargo are restricted to specific slits, situated to allow action from the interior while being protected from the exterior.

Communication Tools & Systems

The radio from the original vehicle is reconnected to a USP frequency, normally the one of the headquarter nearest to the intended zone of action for the Battlenaut.

In addition, the original siren is kept, even if its reprogrammed or reworked to send custom messages, making Fool Battlenauts an excellent tool for the USP to communicate on the streets.

Additional & auxiliary systems

In some cases, if the gas does get too out of hand or anyone is particularly affected by it, the USP's normally do utilize the water hose to release compressed air, in order to vanish the gas clouds from the area.

Type of Vehicle
Modified emergency truck
Nickname
Laugh trucks, Smilers
Designation
USP-BattlenautF
Motto
"You could go on with your stale days, but you might as well have a bit of joy every once in a while."
Rarity
Uncommon
Beam
Around 3 m
Length
Around 5 m
Height
Around 3.75 m
Weight
22 tones
Speed
Up to 80 km/h
Complement / Crew
Driver, Copilot, up to 6 tripulants
Cargo & Passengers Capacity
6-15 passengers

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