Episode 0: Pilot
Setting:
UNSS Delos, UNAC research outpost orbiting Leto around Ross 154.02/05/2196 CE [Theme music 00:00 - ~00:32; fade out into static]
[static cut off by click at 0:34; a deep, continuous hum is heard faintly in the background as ORSON starts to speak]
ORSON
(with audible smile)
Gooood arbitrary morning, UNSS Delos! This is your communications officer Frank Orson on the mic, as per usual at oh-seven-hundred hours, with your friendly reminder to get the hell out of bed and do your jobs!
It is February 5th of the year 2196, making this Day 240 of our shift up here in the Ross 154 star system. If you look out your windows you should see that very same reddish friend of ours peeking over the horizon of our more immediate host, Leto, our ice giant whom we love and also orbit. Time for another splendid day of zero-G microbiology, am I right? Well, don’t complain too much.
[01:13 - 01:19 a short series of low-pitched digital tones, followed by what sounds like a fax machine at 01:20 - 01:23, are heard beneath ORSON’s next lines]The folks over on the UNSS Cyclops in Gliese 65 have it worse off than us. Poor bastards don’t even have alien germs to look at! All they’ve got are rocks, ice, and that weird hurricane on Typhon.
(brief pause for consideration)
Which makes us objectively cooler.
Anywho, lab schedules for next week are posted on the station bulletin, though since I want this on verbal record I’m going to go ahead and personally inform Dr. Alvarez that his request to, quote: “fill Lab 12A with corn starch to test ethanol production,” unquote, has been denied out of hand.
[01:39 - 01:48 a clink, followed by a prolonged echoing hiss, are faintly heard in the background beneath ORSON’s next line]For the love of space, Hernando, the Letosian critters are based on nitrogen, they’re not going to do anything metabolic with that crap except sit on it! And now, the weather: it’s space, there’s no friggin’ atmosphere. That’s really all you need to-
[01:51 ORSON is interrupted by the same three-tone chime, followed immediately by a reprimand from a vexed AI]CYGNA
(audibly irritated, chastising tone)
Frank! You know perfectly well that’s not true!
ORSON
(defeated)
(sighs) Oh, fine. Our good digital buddy CYGNA has insisted that I inform you that Ross 154 is looking nominal as hell-
-since we’re on the second day of scheduled flare-lull, which we’re all quite aware of. More importantly, our lovely lady Leto is pretty calm in the upper atmosphere, which means that Dr. Diallo’s ten-hour round-trip drone mission to collect some more aerobiome samples from the ice giant is a go; good luck Doctor-
[02:19 - 02:20 a series of echoing clunks are heard faintly in the distant background beneath ORSON’s line]-we’re all counting on you. That about wraps it up for this morning’s transmission. With all that said: freshen up, grab some grub, and get to it! Frank Orson, signing off.
[02:28 a click terminates the persistent hum, abruptly resuming the static which fades out 02:28 - 02:33 over the theme music; theme runs 02:29 - 03:29 under the outro monologue 02:33 - 03:22] This has been a preview of Starhopper Radio, an original science fiction podcast featuring snapshots of the history of known space across several centuries in the form of broadcasts, transmissions, and other audio recordings. This episode was written, voiced, and edited by myself, Doug Marshall. The theme music is a reversed version of the song “Glow In Space” by Sergey Cheremisinov, via the Free Music Archive. If you enjoyed this preview, let us know by sending us a message on Instagram and/or Twitter at StarhopperRadio, joining the discord server via the link on our host site, farsightmedia.org, and especially by supporting the creator on Patreon at patreon.com/spyglassrealms. This will help to make Starhopper Radio appear more frequently in your podcast library. And of course, thank you for listening.
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