Blood, Sweat and Tears

This story is considered Canon

WHAM
How many fights in a row was it?
WHAM
Larson has lost track. Larson thought to himself.
WHAM
Oh, that broke Larson’s nose. No matter, he can reset it when the fight’s done.
WHAM
Still, Larson barely felt that. He barely felt anything anymore. Not since Loonie.
WHAM
In the few months since the Battle of the New Dawn, Larson has been numb; he couldn’t even feel his heartbeat in his chest. He grew distant, even from those he was closest to, eventually growing weary of the concern and pity in everyone’s eyes when they asked if he was ok. He grew tired of Alora asking him to join her circle of Moonguard.
WHAM
Now it was Larson’s turn. He barely felt his opponent's face crumble under his large fist. He felt no sense of victory as the Blood Pit audience cheered as Larson felled yet another opponent. Human, dragonborn, Orc; it didn’t matter. No opponent stood against Larson for long. Not long enough to make him feel any real sensation. Not the pain he was looking for, something other than this numb Larson was feeling.
Thank the Brink it’s finally quiet.
Evening had fallen. The Blood Pit’s audience had long since dispersed and Larson was sleeping on one of the benches; where he always slept lately. Not often, though. His nightmares about that day kept Larson from willingly going to sleep, so he only slept when exhaustion snuck up and claimed him.
Larson was holding the dying Emperor Lunin in his arms. He could feel the anima draining out of both of them. Even being hit with a mountain and the moon didn’t knock the wind out of Larson like this.
“You will be remembered, as the Emperor who sacrificed his life... for nothing!" The Screaming Tyrant’s words echo through Larson’s dream and then his laughing. Always his laughing.
BANG
…that’s new. Larson doesn’t remember that banging noise.
BANG
Definitely new. Larson’s eyes flutter open.
BANG
He was awake but the sound wasn’t stopping. Larson sat up and looked in the direction of the sound. Standing in the middle of the Blood Pit, banging two gladiator shields together was a familiar figure; the Dormant Ancient, Selune or Sel as she preferred now.
“About time you woke up.” Sel’s voice echoed around the pit. “I almost thought I was going to have to actually go over there.”
Larson doesn’t have time for this. Larson grunted and laid back down, facing away from the former deity.
“Lieutenant.”
A few months ago, the authority in her voice would have made Larson immediately leap to attention. Not today. Not anymore.
WHAM
Larson was knocked off the bench as one of the gladiator shields hit him square in the head. Immediately, he leaped to his feet.
How dare she! That hurt Larson. Larson roared in his mind, rage rearing its head like an ugly beast. Larson would have never taken Little Sel for a sucker punch. THAT….. Larson paused. Wait. That hurt.
“I’m pissed about everything that happened with Nex,” Once again, Sel’s voice carried across the chamber. “Maven told me that you enjoyed spending time down here and I need someone to punch. From what I’ve seen, you’re the perfect person. You’re tough like no other human I’ve met. Clearly, you can take a hit.”

“Fine.” Larson replied curtly. Perfect. Larson wanted to feel something, now Larson found someone who can actually make him feel!
The two warriors squared off against each other in the ring. Larson settled into his ready position while Sel assumed a stance Larson had never seen before. Must be some sort of Ancient martial style.
Sel made the first move. Lunging at Larson, she aimed a blow at his chest, clearly meant to knock him off balance. It was easy enough to redirect the blow away from his torso and follow up with a good ol’ fashioned Larson-style haymaker which she in turn, deflected.
As soon as they exchanged blows, Larson knew she lied to him. Her strike was provocative, not rooted in anger. She wanted him to hit her.
Little Sel feels guilty. Fine. Larson can oblige. TheIr eyes locked and Larson could tell what she knew what he wanted as well. That’s right, Little Sel. HIT LARSON!
The ferocity of both of their blows began to increase, both of them gradually dropping their defenses, taking each blow; one to feel something and the other for penance.
Larson has no idea how long they fought. He got lost in the beating. A sense of relief washed over his bulky form. He could still FEEL!
This went on for what felt like hours until the two of them couldn’t stand any longer. They collapsed back to back, both utterly spent. The only sound in the Blood Pit was the two of them panting, trying to catch their breath.
“I, uh, guess I’ll go first,” Sel’s voice was loud after the quiet. “I feel responsible. I know that Nex was at fault for his own actions but at the end of the day, I enabled it. I encouraged him to become what he did. I can’t help but feel responsible for those that he hurt. For those that he took away”
Her voice became extremely soft at the end and Larson knew she meant Loonie. His Loonie. She was here to apologize to Larson.
“30 years, Larson watched Little Loonie,” the words were coming out before Larson knew he was speaking. “Watched him turn from little boy into little man. Larson promised his father that he would watch little Loonie until he grew into the man his father knew he could be.”
“…did he?” Larson nodded. “Then you succeeded lieutenant. You kept your promise.”
“NO!” Her words sparked a rage in Larson that he’d never felt before. Before he knew it, he was standing, facing the former Ancient. “Larson is no longer Lieutenant! He lost that right when Master Lunin didn’t come home!” What gives her the right to say this?! How dare she tell him Larson succeeded after what he did. After he failed. As quickly as his rage sprung up, it passed. Larson waved Sel, dismissing her.
“No.” Larson stopped. “That rage. That anger. Don’t suppress it. Feel it. Deal with it.” Slowly, Larson turned back to face her.
“I once heard someone very brave say ‘The heart is the strongest muscle’. And he was right.” Sel was standing now too, staring Larson down. “You have the strongest heart of any human I’ve met. And right now, you’re hurting. It’s been said that those who feel the greatest joy, experience the greatest sorrow so I can’t even begin to fathom the pain in your heart, Larson.”
“Ha. Pain. Larson hasn’t felt pain in months. You want to help Larson? Hit him again!” Larson closed his eyes and outstretched his arms, waiting for the blow. It was quiet for a moment and then Larson heard Sel approach. Wonderful. Here it comes.
The punch never came, just a familiar pressure around his chest. Larson opened one eye and looked down. Sel was hugging him.
“You can heal, Larson. But you have to let yourself feel the pain first.” Sel whispered into his chest.
It must have been his imagination but she was warm, like sunshine being let back into his heart. For the first time in months, Larson felt his heart beat. Firm. Solid. He felt safe, wrapped in the arms of the woman holding him. Safe enough to let in and feel the pain he had been suppressing for months.
And so in Sel’s embrace, in the middle of the Blood Pit arena, Larson cried.