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Starved
I often hear people talk about love, but if someone asked me about it, I don't think I could ever offer an answer.
I don't know what love is. I don't know that feeling. What is it supposed to feel like? I've never known.
Everything in my life has existed on this constantly tilting axis of what is earned. For me to not know what love is, that simply means it's something I have not yet earned. Something I don't yet deserve to have. I don't think there's anything more to it than that.
To be honest, I don't think it's something I ever *will* earn, much less deserve. That ship has long since sailed, and I'm not about to fucking chase it.
But sometimes I can't help but wonder....
......was I raised without love? Or was I born unloveable...?
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