Journal Entry #5: For Eos's Eyes Only

I’ve been putting this off for a while now. There’s a lingering and foreboding sense of finality that has kept me from writing for quite some time, but it’s going to have to be written at some point. I’ll try not to ramble.
 
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone. And chances are I’m not coming back. So, I’m writing all the things that I haven’t had the chance to say yet; pouring my mess of a heart onto these pages and hoping it’ll be your eyes reading them.
 
You were the first person I stumbled upon the day that I fell from above and tumbled into the Feywild. I was an aberration; something the likes of which you had never seen before. But instead of running in fear, you helped me readjust to this new world, and thinking of you, I feel like the luckiest man in the world. And the days that I saw you perform were the days that I truly saw you happy with yourself. That’s really all I want in the end.
 
But any time your smile, your laugh, your music, made my heart skip a beat, I pushed it deep down. After all, a dirty, unkempt and unshaven human hiding under his trenchcoat like me could never be worthy of someone as talented and as kind as you. And in the Shadowfell, I could only wish that I could get back to you, in some crazy unfathomable way. But my understanding of my abilities is limited and unreliable, as I can be sometimes.
 
As we have travelled with this new company, we have gone through a lot together. We have faced dragons, hags and shadows alike, and I have learned much in these weeks. But now that I have been taken, I must write what I truly feel before it is swept away by time or misfortune. And the undeniable truth is that even if your soul belongs to the Sisters, my heart belongs to you.
 
I love you, Eos. And it took the kiss you bestowed on me in the bar to make me realise this. I haven’t the faintest clue whether these feelings are mutual, but that does not change the fact that they had grown too strong to push into the furthest corners of my mind like I had so many times before. I only wish I had the strength to tell you. How your beaming smile and the kindness in your eyes brought a warmth that seemed to melt any and all of my cares away. And how much it pained me to go when the shadows claimed me.
 
Now, as the chapter closes on my life, I have to usher you to the next. The people of Min need someone to heal the broken and lead them out of the darkness. I truly believe you to be the light that will break through it. And trust that I will still be with you, every step of the way.
 
With love,
Joseph Hewmont