I spoke with Bishop De Borel today. I explained my difficulties to her, seeking her counsel. It seems that, contrary to what many -- including myself -- have been led to believe, the other acolytes left of their own accord. Whether it was a lack of ability, the overwhelming pressure, or an inability to cooperate with others, they had all asked to be dismissed. Bishop De Borel extended an opportunity for me to leave if the task was proving too difficult.
I refused. I refuse to give up in the face of this adversity. I cannot allow myself to disappoint Sensei. I cannot disappoint Bishop De Borel. I cannot disappoint myself. I must persevere. I must prove myself. I will not allow my detractors the satisfaction of watching me fail, and I will not allow those who support me the additional burden of the sorrow of my failure. I thanked Bishop De Borel for her counsel and I set off to speak with my peers.
The others had some grievances with my solitary behavior. They refused to cooperate with me and berated me. They accused me of haughtiness, characterizing my withdrawal as one of arrogance rather than self defense. Just as I felt as though I might lose my composure, Mister Lamperos came to defend me. Before I knew what was happening, he had taken my hand and was leading me away from the others.
It seems that we have misunderstood one another. Mister Lamperos has kept his distance from me because he thought that it was what I wanted. He has also been reading my notes after I have retired at night. I had no idea. Of course, I reprimanded him for this breach of privacy, and he apologized. We have mutually decided to put the past behind us and work together. Ulrich Ron Lamperos… is such a strange young man. I look forward to getting to know him better. He seems to be a promising colleague.