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Racket
This Arsday, as with all others, I have found myself reflecting upon all that has transpired since the last. When I do so, I cannot help but feel loneliness overtake me. Even those days wherein Ulrich and I did not speak were less lonely than these, for at least during those days there was some vestige of my roommate that lingered in his absence. Presently, I look across the room toward a bed which lies barren and devoid of any signs of ownership. The warmth of the coming Summer seems to envelop everyone at Artemesia, save myself.
The Mother’s Revelry is well underway, and the excitement of the acolytes here is palpable. Even Bishop De Borel, busier than ever, bears the familiar glow that seems to exude from those who have long anticipated this sacred time of year. Still, even as I know that she bears similar burdens to me and surely must not be able to enjoy the season as much as she would like, I dare not reach out too much. It does not do to become overly familiar with one’s superiors. When she inquires about my progress, I will gladly oblige and accept any company she may offer, but I shall not impose myself upon her and distract us both from more important business.
I have made attempts to write a letter to Sensei, so that I may share with her my progress thus far, but I can never find the words to say. Every sunset that passes reminds me of the home which I long to return to, and this weakness fills me with shame. Yet I have nobody to turn to. Even if I had a companion to distract me from these thoughts I could not burden them with the reality of them. Similarly, I cannot possibly burden Sensei with the knowledge of how I quietly suffer here. Even were she sympathetic to my plight, there is naught that can be done to remedy it. Yet when I wet my pen to write objectively about my project, it is this infernal racket which comes to mind instead. Every time this happens I am forced to put down my pen, and in so doing I resign myself to more loneliness.
I know that one day soon I shall finish my research, and I will be able to return to Saptagiri. Even so, Bishop De Borel promises this to be the beginning of a fruitful career. Despite how much I am honored by the honest praise and opportunities, I know in my heart that this is not what I want. What, pray tell, would be the alternative, however? The beast is as foolish as it is unreasonable, and all I can think of are the words which Ulrich asked me when last we spoke. What use is knowledge if it is not used to help others? Perhaps when I return to Saptagiri I ought to seek Sensei’s counsel. I must learn to properly tame the beast by then, lest I humiliate myself. I pray that my resolve will allow me to endure the next three years in peace, but I do not expect it to be as easy as I would like.
Continue reading...
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Magic Missive to Dorothea After Completing Light Tower
5th of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
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A Sudden Departure
28th of Fevrari, 128 F.E.
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A Long Road
29th of Fevrari, 128 F.E.
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Artemesia
1st of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Letter from Artemesia to Bishop Dorothea Kramer
1st of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Settling
2nd of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Audacity
3rd of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Good Riddance
8th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Why?
12th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Second Letter from Artemesia to Bishop Dorothea Kramer
12th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Burdened
17th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Toil
25th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Beast
29th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
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Brightness
1st of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Company
2nd of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Concerning Ulrich
4th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Third Letter from Artemesia to Bishop Dorothea Kramer
5th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Reconciliation
17th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Progress
20th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Eureka
30th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
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Goodbye
2nd of Mavius, 128 F.E.
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Racket
5th of Mavius, 128 F.E.
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Peschaniko
28th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
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Alone
29th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
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Addendum
29th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
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Arsday on the Ocean
5th of Mavius, 130 F.E.
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Storms at Sea
10th of Juneus, 130 F.E.
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Reflection
29th of Zhenus, 130 F.E.
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Letter to Bishop Dorothea Kramer
1st of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Alluminos
2nd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Resolution
3rd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Settling
4th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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The Sun Sets on Alluminos
5th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Travel
6th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Disquiet
7th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Bend River
8th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Investigation
9th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Remember
10th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Yonara
13th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Business in Yonara
14th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Reunion
15th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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7/16/130
16th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Leaving Yonara
17th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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First Magic Missive to Dorothea Kramer
17th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Stonescast
18th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Faircaster
19th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Second Magic Missive to Dorothea Kramer
22nd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Third Magic Missive to Dorothea Kramer
24th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Pain
30th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
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Undying
1st of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
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A painting made while imprisoned by Sharo'ka
1st of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
5th of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
28th of Fevrari, 128 F.E.
29th of Fevrari, 128 F.E.
1st of Vernari, 128 F.E.
1st of Vernari, 128 F.E.
2nd of Vernari, 128 F.E.
3rd of Vernari, 128 F.E.
8th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
12th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
12th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
17th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
25th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
29th of Vernari, 128 F.E.
1st of Apreri, 128 F.E.
2nd of Apreri, 128 F.E.
4th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
5th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
17th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
20th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
30th of Apreri, 128 F.E.
2nd of Mavius, 128 F.E.
5th of Mavius, 128 F.E.
28th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
29th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
29th of Apreri, 130 F.E.
5th of Mavius, 130 F.E.
10th of Juneus, 130 F.E.
29th of Zhenus, 130 F.E.
1st of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
2nd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
3rd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
4th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
5th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
6th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
7th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
8th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
9th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
10th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
13th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
14th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
15th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
16th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
17th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
17th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
18th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
19th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
22nd of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
24th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
30th of Gusterus, 130 F.E.
1st of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
1st of Harvestus, 130 F.E.
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